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Thread: Isn't this the truth?

  1. #1
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    Isn't this the truth?

    I read this on another board & just had to share.
    I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give credit where due. But I had to share!
    Maureen
    __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________

    On the Lighter Side

    A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cases memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.

    Sound tests have also reveled that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me and sew me."

    In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

    Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called Quilt Fabric Store Clerks.

    It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
    __________________________________________________ _______________________________________________

  2. #2
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    How true! Thanks for posting, got my day started with a chuckle!

  3. #3
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    Thanks for starting my day with a chuckle. That is so true!!!
    Sue

  4. #4
    Power Poster joyce888's Avatar
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    Hiliarious and oh so true!
    Joyce

    Four things you can't recover: The stone.....after the throw. The word......after its said. The occasion.....after its missed. The time......after its gone

  5. #5
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    That is my excuse and I'm blaming it.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  6. #6
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    I definately believe it is true.
    Lorraine

  7. #7
    Super Member lovingmama's Avatar
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    Aliens do have invaded the earth, they also left their U F O's!
    ♥♥♥ Loving Mama ♥♥♥

    If life gives you scraps, make an angel quilt out of it!

  8. #8
    Super Member Sandra-P's Avatar
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    Very Cute!
    Sandra

  9. #9
    Super Member jcrow's Avatar
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    I got such a kick out of that message. I'm glad you found it. I especially believe how we hide our stash and then tell our significant others that we've had it a while. I do that all the time. I get online purchases in the mail and I leave them in the mailbox if my husband is home and when he leaves, I go retrieve them. I put my purchases away in my sewing room and the boxes in the back of my car and take them to be recycled. So, he knows nothing! Whew!!!
    "Be yourself...everyone else is taken."
    Strong people don't put others down...they build them up."
    "Remember that your instincts are more important than rules"

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sew N Tune's Avatar
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    Same here JCrow. Some days it's hard to be us. It was so much easier before my husband retired.
    The one who dies with the most fabric wins.

  11. #11
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I have always said that "new fabric smell" is addictive.

  12. #12
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    Thanks for my chuckle of the day.

  13. #13
    Super Member OKLAHOMA PEACH's Avatar
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    Oh it isn't the smell, its the sight, love looking at fabric, next best thing to Mother Nature herself.

  14. #14
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    If I get "caught" with a fabric purchase, I 'fess up, but I usually don't make a point of showing off my new acquisitions to DH.

  15. #15
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    That is too cute!

  16. #16
    Super Member crafty pat's Avatar
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    Thank you for giving me an excuse for DH, he needs a good laugh.

  17. #17
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    This conversation never ceases to amaze me. It is the reason I have chosen to remain single. But I still want to know why any of you are hiding what you buy from your husband. What are you? Twelve years old? froggyintexas
    Quote Originally Posted by xsquilter View Post
    I read this on another board & just had to share.
    I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give credit where due. But I had to share!
    Maureen
    __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________

    On the Lighter Side

    A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cases memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.

    Sound tests have also reveled that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me and sew me."

    In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

    Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called Quilt Fabric Store Clerks.

    It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
    __________________________________________________ _______________________________________________

  18. #18
    Super Member Glenda m's Avatar
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    I read this thread to the DH. He asked "Their husbands don't notice that the house has started to tilt to one side and everything has a tendency to slide off the table?" I'm glad my DH goes with me and even helps pick out some of the fabric.
    You can get older, but you never have to grow up! Tomorrow's just a future yesterday!-Greg Fergerson

  19. #19
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    that is my story and i am sticking to it. lol neat story.

  20. #20
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jingle View Post
    That is my excuse and I'm blaming it.
    That's me story & I'm sticking to it! LOL! THANX!!!!!!!!!!!
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  21. #21
    Super Member Amythyst02's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for the morning Chuckle, we all need one with our first cups of coffee

    I have always sewn in one fashion or another...clothes, baby clothes, quilts, etc. I love fabric, and luckily for me, fabric is still cheaper than m/c parts and accessories which is my DH downfall !! So I never hide from him, I just share my haul with him, and he is always eager to see what I have created this time.
    Amythyst

  22. #22
    Super Member mountain deb's Avatar
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    I better not let DH know this, he may start to get rid of my fabric little by little. Ye gads, what a thought. hehe
    ABCDEFG

  23. #23
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    I had my husband read this, and his comment was, "That is clever," as he just shook his head. It's cute. Thanks a lot for our chuckle for the day. Incidentally my husband does sometimes go fabric shopping with me, and recently helped me reorganize my fabric room (two hours a day for 4 or 5 days). Yes, he's a keeper.

  24. #24
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    I didn't think this was all my fault.

  25. #25
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    I'm totally believing this. It explains so much!

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