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Thread: Busted!

  1. #26
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    No hubby here, just my kids. And they enable me. Every few months one of them comes home with a new tote to hold my new fabrics and the youngest comes home with fabric for me. The oldest buys me gift cards. And my DGD yells across the fabric store "over here grandma......I found the flower fabric. You gotta get some of this" LOL. Gotta love them.

  2. #27
    Super Member EasyPeezy's Avatar
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    Tell him it's cheaper than a visit to the psychiatrist. LOL

  3. #28
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    Happy wife-Happy life! say it and smile sweetly!

  4. #29
    Super Member AnnieH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EasyPeezy
    Tell him it's cheaper than a visit to the psychiatrist. LOL
    Fabulous. Will store this one up for probable future use if he gets stroppy. My money's on me!!!

  5. #30
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    ok. no way i'm taking sides here. just some food for thought that might or might not apply to your specific situation.

    once we start thinking in terms of hiding our purchases vs. cutting back on our purchases, aren't we admitting to ourselves that we're doing something we either know is definitely not right, or that is probably wrong?

    isn't it better to sit down with the financial partner for an open, honest conversation? mutual agreements and ground "rules"? compromise and adaptation might be necessary, but wouldn't that be less stressful than having to hide and worry?

  6. #31
    Super Member #1piecemaker's Avatar
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    What he doen't know, won't hurt him. Just explain that the fabric is an investment in your future and he'll just have to trust you. Never divulge how much you paid. Just give him your name, rank and serial number.

  7. #32
    Senior Member supergma's Avatar
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    Could be only the tip of the iceberg. Maybe he thinks you spend too much time in the sewing room and not enough with him. Men, who can figure them out?

  8. #33
    community benefactor stitchofclass2's Avatar
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    This kind of situation can be daunting. I guess on a lighter note, I would remind him that the fabric is much, much less expensive than a psychiatrist. This is your way of doing something that you love and worthwhile. Something that keeps you grounded when things are falling apart all around you. If he is not working right now, he probably has too much time on his hands and is concerned about finances. Fabric may seem frivolous but, of course, it is not. It really is a thread to our sanity. Good luck.

  9. #34
    Bottle Blonde's Avatar
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    I brag about my bargains to hubby! He busted me organizing my stash and made a few comments. Now I tell him exactly how much I spend - sale price I paid vs. regular price - what I plan to do with it (even if it is stash) and I explained that I didn't buy all that stuff at one time - it tooks years to collect all that fabric. He will go with me to the LQS (I go with him to the hardware store.....) so he does have a clue about the prices. Sometimes he will help me find what I'm looking for and I educate him about quilting at the same time. So - my advice is try to get your DH involved (even just a tiny bit) and he may be more understanding if he thinks he is part of your quilting world. My DH calmed down once he knew I had been buying all that fabric over time - not last week! LOL

  10. #35
    Senior Member Quilter Day-by-Day's Avatar
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    LOL Tell him I got have fabric to use with this new machine that you got me.

  11. #36
    Senior Member baskets4moo's Avatar
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    My deepest sympathies (sp?), been there, done that. My dh continually points out my overflowing stash closets. I've found the best response to be "with the fast rising prices of fabric, particularly cotton & everything else in general, be happy I've filled my closets already". And then be sure to not let him see any new additions to your stash, infiltrate them very quietly.

  12. #37
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    ok. no way i'm taking sides here. just some food for thought that might or might not apply to your specific situation.

    once we start thinking in terms of hiding our purchases vs. cutting back on our purchases, aren't we admitting to ourselves that we're doing something we either know is definitely not right, or that is probably wrong?

    isn't it better to sit down with the financial partner for an open, honest conversation? mutual agreements and ground "rules"? compromise and adaptation might be necessary, but wouldn't that be less stressful than having to hide and worry?
    I agree with Patrice. Tomorrow I will have been married for 56 years. There were a lot of lean years in the beginning, and buying was a big deal, for both of us. We learned early that just because we liked something, didn"t mean we had to have it. We learned to budget and we made decisions together about any purchases. All these years later, we don't have those problems, but we still talk expenditures over with each other, at least any big ones. I have never been denied anything I really wanted, nor he, but the idea that I would have to hide things from him, or fib about it, goes against the grain. If I see fabric or notions on sale and I think it is a good deal, I just tell him, and off we go to the store. There are times when I'm not up to the walking that he has even gone to get something for me. You all may hate me for this comment, but I am amazed at how large a stash most of you have. At times it seems that you buy for the sake of buying, not because you really need it. Either that, or you plan to live a long time and make a quilt a week. I do have fabric on hand, I'm not beyond an occasional splurge, but to have walls full seems overdone. I most definitly would sit down with your hubby and talk about this. If it is really troubling him, it needs to be worked out . Marriage isn"t all me or all you, it is an US!

  13. #38
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    Woohoo! Clemm55 and Patrice, I am with you gals all the way. I do not nor can I understand hiding, 'fibbing', coercing, etc your mate. I am married 37 years and this is the most lean it has ever been for us.
    I am too busy going to school F/T to even quilt right now, but I have not made a fabric purchase in over 4 months or more. Quite simply we cannot afford it no matter how much I may want it. DH would figure out some way for me to have it if I really wanted it, but why when I have more than enough already and no time to make anything until I am graduated and in a nice paying nursing job? I can wait.

  14. #39
    Super Member Deborah12687's Avatar
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    I will never get busted as my hubby doesn't really care how much I spend on my quilting hobby or other hobbies. It makes me feel good that I don't have to hide things from my hubby and I am aware of when to stop buying.

  15. #40
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    When I retired, I told my husband I wanted a monthly allowance deposited to a separate checking account for me to spend however I want to. We agreed on an amount, and started doing it. That way, I can feed my hobbies, and he knows I won't break the bank. It helps me keep to a budget too. It's one of the best ideas i've had for avoiding conflict.

  16. #41
    Senior Member GammaLou's Avatar
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    Too funny ;-) He'll get over it, everyone needs a hobby :thumbup:

  17. #42
    Senior Member kellen46's Avatar
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    I am not married, I do own a largish stash...I buy without guilt nor do I have to justify my spending to anyone.....however I know that is not everyone. So if I owned a fabric store I would call it the the Grocery Store with fabric lines called. Quarta Milk+ whites and creams, Pounda Meat=browns and reds, Heada Lettuce= mixed greens, Baga Fruit=bright colors and well you get the picture. So the scenario goes like this
    Wife comes in with several large bags of fabric and stows them away.
    Husband "Where ya been?"
    Wife "Oh the Grocery Store."
    Husband "What cha get?"
    Wife "Well a pounda meat, a Quarta Milk, a Heada Lettuce and a Baga Fruit.
    Husband "Sounds great, what's for dinner?"
    Wife "Oh honey we have both had such a busy day, let's go out to eat."
    Can you see it???

  18. #43
    Senior Member dojo36's Avatar
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    REPLY TO ALL:

    my husband can't see my stash as he is in the cemetary. just be glad your husband is alive no matter what he says.

  19. #44
    Senior Member harrishs's Avatar
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    I collect fabric just because I love fabric! I love colors, textures, and the possiblities! I can't possibly live long enough to use all my fabric but I tell my relatives that quilt, that it is their inheritance!

  20. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire_Rae
    Yep, when momma ain't happy, no one is happy.
    Amen to that! Fabric and books make me happy!

  21. #46
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    Let's see.....I bet you bought your stash...at least most of it when it was $4.50 or less per yard. Fabric is now $9.50-$10.50 per yard. That is 100% profit on investment. Tell him you can sell it anytime for double what you paid....and if you make quilts and sell them for thousands....you are defintely ahead of the game.....
    my story and I'm sticking to it. Besides I won't be paying $10.50 a yard after I retire..
    D in TX

  22. #47
    Member lovequilter's Avatar
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    I just say that this keeps me off the streets and outa the bars.

  23. #48
    Senior Member newestnana's Avatar
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    Where can I see the video about hiding your stash?

  24. #49
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    Ladies, I just compare all my fabric, threads, templates,etc.to all the his "man" tools - wood tools, outside tools, all his various sizes of nails, grades of sandpaper, scrap pieces of wood and metal--- do you get the the idea? What it boils down to is, he has his toys, and I have mine. He is in the garage, and I am in my sewing room, and we live happily ever after. Amen PS -- his grandmother taught me how to quilt. She passed at the young age of 90 -- she was always quilting and sewing -- and that was 32 years ago. (Love this forum -- we must have all come from the same mold.)

  25. #50
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    He sounds like mine...Retiring end of next month and well, a girl gota do what ever works....I just say I have had that for a long time...I stopped using my credit card...I balance the ck book so I just get cash here and there and that is what I use....

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