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Thread: how would you handle this?

  1. #26
    Senior Member daisyboo9's Avatar
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    Thank you every one for your opinion, it has reinforced how I feel. Let me clear up a few things that I may have left out. First of all, she is willing to split the $400 with me and out of this I will be reimbursed the cost to rent the machine (which she knows about)and the cost for the batting, backing and thread. We haven't even discussed the cost of gas as the rental is about an hours drive from my home. After these costs are looked after we split the remainder 50/50. I will return it to her and tell her that I cannot quilt it in that condition. I would rather go without the "profit" than to have to deal with all the possible problems.

  2. #27
    Super Member Chigger Holler Quilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisyboo9
    Thank you every one for your opinion, it has reinforced how I feel. Let me clear up a few things that I may have left out. First of all, she is willing to split the $400 with me and out of this I will be reimbursed the cost to rent the machine (which she knows about)and the cost for the batting, backing and thread. We haven't even discussed the cost of gas as the rental is about an hours drive from my home. After these costs are looked after we split the remainder 50/50. I will return it to her and tell her that I cannot quilt it in that condition. I would rather go without the "profit" than to have to deal with all the possible problems.
    Way to go!

  3. #28
    Super Member Scissor Queen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisyboo9
    Thank you every one for your opinion, it has reinforced how I feel. Let me clear up a few things that I may have left out. First of all, she is willing to split the $400 with me and out of this I will be reimbursed the cost to rent the machine (which she knows about)and the cost for the batting, backing and thread. We haven't even discussed the cost of gas as the rental is about an hours drive from my home. After these costs are looked after we split the remainder 50/50. I will return it to her and tell her that I cannot quilt it in that condition. I would rather go without the "profit" than to have to deal with all the possible problems.
    Oh okay. But you're still getting the "dirty" end of the stick.

    Send it back to her!! ASAP!

  4. #29
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    It still seems like you should have been reimbursed for the fabric from your stash.
    I am glad you are going to have her fix the problems.

  5. #30
    Super Member Dina's Avatar
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    I think you have made a good decision. This sounds like a problem that no one needs.

  6. #31
    Super Member LivelyLady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Wow, what a crazy predicament!!
    Me?? I would only finish it if she split the profit with me.
    Sounds like it was really "your" quilt all along :(
    I agree with you :D

  7. #32
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    I agree....just return it and say you cannot work on it. Some people are "givers" (you) and some people are "takers" (her). After you return the top to her, loose her phone number! I had a similar experience with a "friend" who used my talents too much. When she aproached me for another project, I said yes, I'll do that...and then quoted her an outrageous sum. Weird, she accepted! And, she paid me!
    good luck.

  8. #33
    Senior Member sewmanyideas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissor Queen
    Are you out of your mind? You put 90% of the fabric in, did the cutting, you have to BUY the backing and batting and pay for the quilting and SHE'S going to get the $400????

    Seriously???
    Exactly!

  9. #34
    Gal
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    Super Member Gal's Avatar
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    At the very least I would return the quilt and say all the things wrong with it which need to be put right in order for it to be quilted properly. Tell her it will not quilt up like it is that way! Tell her your reputation as a quilter is at stake! Not only that, if I was in your place I would feel totally used, and I am sure that none of my friends would treat me that way in the first place! In the future I would decline any further collaboration quilt making sessions with her as I feel she has taken you for a ride.
    Best of luck with everything
    Gal

  10. #35
    Power Poster sewnsewer2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy
    Return it to the person who gave it to you and explain what she needs to complete before it can be quilted. This is not your problem and she is not learning if you do it for her.
    I totally agree with what Murphy said, and I would also let her know that the shop will then quilt it for her.

    I wouldn't quilt it, she is taking advantage of you!

  11. #36
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    What if the shoe was on the other foot? I think this person would be hollering loud and clear about how nuts you would be for thinking she could fix your mess up. Tell her you tried to be nice and you tried to fix the many problems the quilt has but it's a no go for you. Hand her the quilt and say nothing else. I would be glad to have her be out of my life for good. Being confrontational when necessary is cleansing, try it.

  12. #37
    Super Member mmonohon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyn
    Quote Originally Posted by merry
    Return the quilt to your "friend" & tell her you can't quilt it with your present machine. Suggest a LQS & let them deal with her.
    I agree completely because it doesn't sound like you can ever win at this.
    I too agree. You already put too much of your time and your stash in the quilt. If she wants the 400 bucks than she needs to finish it on her own. Give her the name of the LQS staff and number and kindly bow out.

  13. #38
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    I agree, run to return it and say you are unable to quilt it. Rather cheeky to have you do what you have done and then sell the quilt. Tell her you didn't expect to quilt it as well and there are many who can do that. Get out from under this situation anyway you can.

  14. #39

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    I agree with everyone else. Return the quilt with comments on what needs to be done to correct the flaws before it can even be quilted. Give her the name of a professional quilter who can then do the quilting. I suspect she will not be happy with the results in any case, since the quilt is a bit "handicapped". Good luck!

  15. #40
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    I have been in situations like this. Not quilting per se, but more or less being taken advantage of with sewing, cooking, finances, work, etc. etc. It starts when we agree to help out, then get more involved than we thought we would, or want to. Next thing you know, it costs us money, time, and tension. If you have a great friendship, when you take it back to her and explain that the long arm quilter cannot take on an incomplete project, and you do not have the sources to finish it yourself, then the friendship stands. If she gets irritated and there are words exchanged that do not sit well with you, for whatever reason, then the friendship may need some mending. I would work with her on it, but I would never take on this alone. You have already been very generous. You both deserve honesty and integrity. The new quilt owner deserves nothing less than what she should be expecting for the money she is paying. How much of the $400 is she sharing with you?

  16. #41
    Senior Member hannajo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire_Rae
    I would give it back to her and tell her you are not able to do it and why. Risk is loosing her friendship, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend anyway. Also, if anything goes wrong or if it's not up to expectations of the buyer she may lay it on you.
    I agree. If you attempt to finish this quilt, you could be blamed for anything wrong with it. (I watch a lot of "People's Court")

    Daisyboo, I HATE confrontations too, even if I know I am totally right. I feel your pain. Keep us updated.

  17. #42
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    I want to say also that as time goes on, you have to learn to pick your battles. Sometimes you do have to help out anyway you can. But yours is a case where you shouldnt give in. The fact that you asked us what we thought means you have some trepidation. She did sell it unfinished without your knowledge....

  18. #43
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    I wouldn't do it even for a very good friend. "Good" friends don't take advantage that way. You, as the quilter, have a right to say you won't do the quilt without compensation, and look up the charges for longarming. Most longarmers would charge for clipping the threads, etc. I know one that charges for 1 needle per quilt, and if a lot of detail and large quilt she'll charge for 2 or 3!!!! Don't let this happen...YOU'LL never be happy.

  19. #44
    Super Member fabric whisperer's Avatar
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    oh my, this is a pickle ~ she may think its great ~ so I think it needs pointed out that it needs fixing. By her. And I do hope that you can be compensated for your stash contribution. I hate to see people taken advantage of, but you have to stand up for yourself on this one.

  20. #45
    Super Member Snorky Lvs2Quilt's Avatar
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    I think she owes you half of what she sold it for....at least. Since 90 percent of the fabric was yours and you also have to provide the backing and batting plus do all the quilting/thread and you did a lot of the cutting, this quilt is more yours than hers. Tell her what she needs to do in order to make sure it is in the right condition to be able to quilt it. If I were you, I would even tell her how much fabric SHE needs to buy for the backing and also the batting.

  21. #46
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Tell her you unfortunately can not quilt it for her and give her the phone number of a long arm quilter. Maybe it is time for you to stop enabling her. It doesn't sound like you are too happy with the relationship. When I started quilting I let people use and take a lot of my stuff. I have learned and am still learning to set parameters. It is wonderful to help some one but when they start using you there is something wrong.

  22. #47
    Super Member luvTooQuilt's Avatar
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    Return the quilt. Let her know all the problems with why you cant quilt it and Make sure to tell her the time already invested in "her" quilt and don't forget to keep a portion of the deposit for reimbursement Of the fabric she shopped for in your stash.

  23. #48
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    Good grief....some people are just unbelievable. You've got some great advice here....stay strong, be firm and don't be railroaded into anything you don't want to do. Above all be kind to yourself.

  24. #49
    Super Member AnnieH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tjradj
    There is no rule on this earth that says you have to be a door mat.
    Write out your reasons why you can't do this quilt. You have valid ones.
    Then phone your "friend" and read your script verbatim. Do not waver. If she gets upset - tough. That is her problem.
    You obviously aren't close to this person or she would already know your opinion.
    Just tell her. You cannot accept the top in the condition it was given, and she has the choice to either take it apart and fix it, or have someone else quilt it. Period.
    My guess is she'll take it somewhere else.
    The lose her phone number. She is not a real friend.
    Tough but so agree. Really well put.
    I'd far rather know you than her!!!!!!!

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy
    Return it to the person who gave it to you and explain what she needs to complete before it can be quilted. This is not your problem and she is not learning if you do it for her.
    This is what I would do. If you were going to send it to a long arm to be quilted I would also tell her it needs to go to a long arm and have her send it there. No need for you to be the middleman in the transaction, especially if she is selling the quilt. If she is in the business of quilt making now she needs to do the work not you. You offered to assist, well here is your assistance, she needs to do a lot more work and then send it to the long arm quilter. Good luck.

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