how would you handle this?
02-09-2011, 09:17 PM
#41
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 814
Originally Posted by Sapphire_Rae
I would give it back to her and tell her you are not able to do it and why. Risk is loosing her friendship, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend anyway. Also, if anything goes wrong or if it's not up to expectations of the buyer she may lay it on you.
Daisyboo, I HATE confrontations too, even if I know I am totally right. I feel your pain. Keep us updated.
02-09-2011, 09:18 PM
#42
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,812
I want to say also that as time goes on, you have to learn to pick your battles. Sometimes you do have to help out anyway you can. But yours is a case where you shouldnt give in. The fact that you asked us what we thought means you have some trepidation. She did sell it unfinished without your knowledge....
02-09-2011, 09:27 PM
#43
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: La Pine Oregon, USA
Posts: 5,907
I wouldn't do it even for a very good friend. "Good" friends don't take advantage that way. You, as the quilter, have a right to say you won't do the quilt without compensation, and look up the charges for longarming. Most longarmers would charge for clipping the threads, etc. I know one that charges for 1 needle per quilt, and if a lot of detail and large quilt she'll charge for 2 or 3!!!! Don't let this happen...YOU'LL never be happy.
02-09-2011, 09:45 PM
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio... wanna build a cabin in the woods and live off the land... and quilt all day!
Posts: 990
oh my, this is a pickle ~ she may think its great ~ so I think it needs pointed out that it needs fixing. By her. And I do hope that you can be compensated for your stash contribution. I hate to see people taken advantage of, but you have to stand up for yourself on this one.
02-09-2011, 10:26 PM
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern Calif.
Posts: 2,287
I think she owes you half of what she sold it for....at least. Since 90 percent of the fabric was yours and you also have to provide the backing and batting plus do all the quilting/thread and you did a lot of the cutting, this quilt is more yours than hers. Tell her what she needs to do in order to make sure it is in the right condition to be able to quilt it. If I were you, I would even tell her how much fabric SHE needs to buy for the backing and also the batting.
02-09-2011, 10:36 PM
#46
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 12,022
Tell her you unfortunately can not quilt it for her and give her the phone number of a long arm quilter. Maybe it is time for you to stop enabling her. It doesn't sound like you are too happy with the relationship. When I started quilting I let people use and take a lot of my stuff. I have learned and am still learning to set parameters. It is wonderful to help some one but when they start using you there is something wrong.
02-09-2011, 11:17 PM
#47
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: A Hop from Heaven, a Skip from Sanity and a Jump from the Good Life....
Posts: 6,665
Return the quilt. Let her know all the problems with why you cant quilt it and Make sure to tell her the time already invested in "her" quilt and don't forget to keep a portion of the deposit for reimbursement Of the fabric she shopped for in your stash.
02-09-2011, 11:24 PM
#48
Power Poster
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 10,357
Good grief....some people are just unbelievable. You've got some great advice here....stay strong, be firm and don't be railroaded into anything you don't want to do. Above all be kind to yourself.
02-10-2011, 12:27 AM
#49
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: North Essex, England
Posts: 1,108
Originally Posted by tjradj
There is no rule on this earth that says you have to be a door mat.
Write out your reasons why you can't do this quilt. You have valid ones.
Then phone your "friend" and read your script verbatim. Do not waver. If she gets upset - tough. That is her problem.
You obviously aren't close to this person or she would already know your opinion.
Just tell her. You cannot accept the top in the condition it was given, and she has the choice to either take it apart and fix it, or have someone else quilt it. Period.
My guess is she'll take it somewhere else.
The lose her phone number. She is not a real friend.
Write out your reasons why you can't do this quilt. You have valid ones.
Then phone your "friend" and read your script verbatim. Do not waver. If she gets upset - tough. That is her problem.
You obviously aren't close to this person or she would already know your opinion.
Just tell her. You cannot accept the top in the condition it was given, and she has the choice to either take it apart and fix it, or have someone else quilt it. Period.
My guess is she'll take it somewhere else.
The lose her phone number. She is not a real friend.
I'd far rather know you than her!!!!!!!
02-10-2011, 01:53 AM
#50
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ashburnham Mass
Posts: 284
Originally Posted by Murphy
Return it to the person who gave it to you and explain what she needs to complete before it can be quilted. This is not your problem and she is not learning if you do it for her.
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