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Thread: This was kind of sad...

  1. #26
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    It is very sad because her family, if like most families, would have no idea of the value or the why of her purchases. I, too, had many things that I cherished, that had good memories for me and that I wanted to do "sometime." But, when I had to move here, I gave away, literally, ten pick up loads of goods, not all crafts, to a relief agency and then two more loads to a garage sale being held to support the local cemetery. And, now, I am still condensing, selling off, giving away because I need to fit into one room by the end of the year. It is sad to me because I miss those things, will not buy more, and can now only work on what I have supplies for.

    Please, folks, take the time to understand your family and why they do the things they do. Cherish the gifts they make, even if you think you don't like them. There is love behind it. That is the message I would like to pass on ... but not to this board .... you all know that already!

    Thank you for being so supportive to each other! Have a Blessed Day!

  2. #27
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    I have told the quilt group that when I go to my "great reward" they are to buy a large bottle of champagne and come and toast me and say nice things and then take it all home and love/use/donate the stash and tools. My daughter is included in the process of sharing. She has her own stash and we think a party is the way to go.

  3. #28
    Senior Member neeng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldlady 77
    I have told the quilt group that when I go to my "great reward" they are to buy a large bottle of champagne and come and toast me and say nice things and then take it all home and love/use/donate the stash and tools. My daughter is included in the process of sharing. She has her own stash and we think a party is the way to go.
    I couldn't agree more! Before my DH passed last summer, he gave instructions that we weren't to mope around feeling sad, or spend a lot of money on a funeral. "Give (my stuff, or the $$ you would have spent) to (or do something nice for) a friend, a stranger, a kid down the street....just don't let it go to waste, and don't just keep it around for sentimental reasons unless you are going to really enjoy it or use it." Still have some of his 'stash' (tools, hunting equipment, etc) around but most has been given away to friends with the same interests, or donated. We will have the party this spring, outside where he loved to be.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltsRfun
    Glad you were able to find a few things. I hope all the other stuff finds a good home. I worked at a small yarn shop years ago and when one of our elderly customers died her family actually had the nerve to bring in some of her stuff and ask for a refund. She didn't have that much so I couldn't figure why they didn't just donate it.
    that is so sad...and the family should be ashamed !!!!

  5. #30
    Junior Member Dae Kuczma's Avatar
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    Awe, bless her heart.

  6. #31
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    Like everyone else I also have a large stash which worries me at times.

  7. #32
    Super Member StitchinJoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justflyingin
    Quote Originally Posted by nannya54
    I have a hoarder who lives across the street from me. She can't even get her car in the garage anymore
    I thought that this was the status of half of all Americans...
    I don't think that's the status of most Americans at all. If you look around this board, there are many quilters wondering how they are going to afford fabric at $10 a yard. There are many people out of work or retired, and more concerned about not being able to afford mortgage or rent, plus their food and their medicine.

    I know that many quilters like me are very lucky to have a LOT of fabric, much more than we need for the current or next few projects.

    But I don't know anyone personally who has tons and tons of unopened craft items, or clothes with tags still on, or mountains of garbage, or cats or bunny rabbits taking over the house, like we see on the show "Hoarders."

    And I agree, it's very sad. Too much or not enough is always sad.

  8. #33
    Super Member IBQUILTIN's Avatar
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    Did you see the post last week from the lady in Michigan? She was handling her mother's estate also, and the stast was fenominal. I've never seen a quilt shop with that much fabric and notions. It was just unreal. And like you, it made me feel sort of sad that someone could focus all of their attention to "Things" that they could not possibly ever use up in a lifetime.

  9. #34

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    I saw a statement recently about our stashes. If you go into your work space and there's too much "stuff", your work space has become storage space. Not that I would have an out-of-control stash! About 10 years ago, I did run into a situation where a woman was selling out her shop because she had medical problems. She was selling the fabric for $1 a yard. I walked away with 150 yards of fabric but I have also used or donated every bit of it. I think of my stash as preparation for my upcoming retirement.

  10. #35

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    happened to someone I was acquainted with. all the things that had been given to her over the years, crafty thikngs she had gotten, gifts, pretty nightwear. she died unexpectedly and when her things were gone through to sort out, all this things were unused, unworn. she appreciated them I am sure, but would have meant more to us if she had used them then and there. worn them to death, got stains and wear spots all over them. this past two years I have worked from my stash to make, finish, give away or even keep. very hard for me to wear my "nice" clothes to work (home office) because they might get stained, but life is too short.

  11. #36
    Super Member katiebear1's Avatar
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    As I have gotten older ( I am 56) I have actually had "the urge to purge" I have gotten rid of tons of stuff, but I still can't part with my books ( I am an avid reader) or my craft stuff. Since I have started to quilt ( about 1 and 1/2 years) I have not used any of my other craft stuff. I am almost ready to part with the craft stuff but the books are another matter. :)

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindaR
    We have a woman in our guild (older) who is going to be in the same boat...when she moved from down below she had to wrap her dishes in the fabric so her husband wouldn't know how much she had...
    I'll remember that for when I move. LOL

    I know that someone will have to clean up our hobbies when we pass away, but that is just the way it has been forever. At least if you have something to show for it, your family has a choice of selling it or donating it. During his/her lifetime the money was theirs to use the way they wanted to. Our hobbies are what keep us sane during the living years.

    I truly believe this. When my doctor weaned me off my depression medicine before I could change to a different kind, it took me 2 weeks. Just before that she weaned me off of my hormones. That took a month. So for 1 1/2 months I suffered from PMS symptoms and then depression. It took two weeks for the new depression medication to kick in all the way. If it hadn't been for my continuous quilting during this time, I donít know that I could have kept myself from doing grievous harm to my husband. Of course, we both look at it differently: he feels that he deserved a medal for putting up with me and I felt I deserved a metal for not killing him. LOL :lol:

  13. #38
    Junior Member NanaInVirginia's Avatar
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    I don't have a very large stash but I have deal with my sister in law. She will come get all my stuff if I die suddenly. Then she can do whatever she wants to with it and my husband won't have to deal with it.

  14. #39
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    Lynmccoy, I have a brother like that and he is a hoarder.

  15. #40
    Senior Member pawebdoctor's Avatar
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    Shades of things to come...

    Friends helped me move about 10 years ago... and could not believe all the "STUFF" that went to my "WORKROOM"... candle making materials, rubber stamping things, all sorts of paint, wood crafting and dollhouse/furniture materials, paper crafting and framing materials, sewing machines (3 at the time), and fabric, fabric and more fabric and books and printouts for everything. I believe there is a use or second use for everything... but they drew the line at the bags of torn panty hose (clean... for stuffing) and shoulder pads (from shirts and jackets galore). Can you believe, they made me leave those behind?!?!?!?!?

  16. #41
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    I'm glad you were able to get a few things. Too bad they sold most of the fabric to a quilt store when there are so many quilters who need more fabric. :P

  17. #42
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    Hoarding is a mental illness. We had a problem with my MIL several years ago. I looked it up on the internet and, sure enough, it was listed as a mental illness and they need to get professional help for it.

  18. #43
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    I don't have near the fabric most people have, but I do enjoy creating, looking and buying. I am trying to use a lot of what I already have on hand to make some scrap quilts (which I love by the way). When my children would ask me why I buy all of this fabric I just tell them so I will have something to do when I retire. (Like that will ever happen).

  19. #44
    Super Member JUNEC's Avatar
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    How sad. I am still trying to organize my house from all the items I have from my parents - My mom lived with us for 2 years before she passed.

    I think I will spend tomorrow trying to clean out one section of my "sewingroom"

  20. #45
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    I get a lot of pleasure from my stash and my plans of what to do with it. I have told my daughter and husband that if I die, they are to contact "XXXX" and let them sell/get what they can for my stash and machines (if daughter doesn't want anything) and put the money up for my grandkids' college fund. I can't worry about what happens after I die. I do think I have a touch of hoarding because our small house is full but if my kids would get all of their stuff out (and they have been gone for years) there would be more room. Maybe one day...LOL!

  21. #46
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    I went to an estate sale once and the upstairs bonus room was filled with supplies for every craft imaginable. But this lady actively crafted, no new or unopened packages of anything. Everything had pretty much been gone through by the time my girlfriend and I got there, or so we thought. The lady's son was there and he said we could have whatever we could stuff into one of those big moving boxes for $5 so I just randomly took boxes that looked like they had anything fabric related in them and dumped the contents into a big box until it was full. I figured I could find a home for anything I couldn't use.

    What I found when I got home were tons and tons of quilting projects and panels and good fabric that apparently were buried in these boxes and no one had noticed them. There was so much I ended up dispersing them to local groups who did a lot of charity quilting.

    Even though I didn't know the lady, it was obvious she was a crafter who enjoyed every craft imaginable, she was probably the first one to try out any new craft on the market. I made sure all the things I took from her home were not abandoned or wasted.

  22. #47
    Senior Member ljorange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katmom54
    I don't think it is sad that she had all that stuff...I like to shop for fabric...do I use all that I by? Not even close! But I truly enjoy the hunt and the time spent planning and coordinating is as satisfying as the actual sewing (which I hardly have time for right now) ...Maybe she got great pleasure out of buying the fabric and craft stuff and had dreams of some day making something with it all....
    When I die, I hope that my family looks at the piles of stuff I leave behind and say "I remember when she got this - she really liked it at the time"....instead of feeling bad for me.
    I agree, she probably spent a lot of time thinking of what she would make someday. The anticipation and planning is half the fun. I love shopping for art supplies and have a few unopened things that I fully expected to use but never got around to.

  23. #48
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    I have a lot of stuff, and some crafts I don't do anymore and probably won't take up again so I keep an eye on Craiglist for people that need items for something specific. This summer a mom was looking for craft projects for her girls to do during the summer. They didn't have a lot of money and I had a surplus of some of the things they were asking for. They were thrilled to get the stuff and I was thrilled it went to someone who needed it. And my sewing guild has a garage sale every year for scholarships and I participate in that. That's how I get rid of fabric I no longer want or notions I never use.

    Ever look at your fabric and wonder what in the heck possessed you to buy that?? Yuk!!

  24. #49
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    I also went to a sale where a woman had been killed in an accident and her husband was selling her quilting. Her sisters and sisters-in-law were in charge of the cutting and selling and did a very good job. They had taken what they wanted and were selling the rest. It was an incredible stash and tools and took up a whole basement. It was cabinet after cabinet of fabric and crafting supplies. I got about 150 yards for $1 a yard; got rulers for a dollar. Apparently she had so many plans for when she retired but died shortly before retirement. There's no telling how many thousands of yards were sold. Her magazines were given away. I think she would have been pleased that her crafts would be living on with others who love her fabric and tools.

  25. #50
    Super Member Quiltaddict's Avatar
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    I wish I had seen that ad. My son lives in Orange County. I would have sent him to the sale to buy stuff for me.

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