Baby Shower gift delemma
 

I would like some opinions. I like & respect everyones thoughs on this. Recently I have been making baby shower quilts for family members, ( lots lately!) & I usually give the recipient a choice of blanket or bag, & ask if there are any particular color likes or dislikes. The most resent request is for a boy, who will be sharing a room with his 8 yr old step-sister who does not live in the home on a full time babsis, but they have painted the room "pepto-pink" for her. The problem is, I was requested to do a black & grey quilt "so as not to clash with the room" but I had found some construction worker fabric & some co-ordinating fabrics I think would have been great to make the baby a beautiful quilt in bright blue, red, green & yellow. Do I go with the mothers wishes, or go with mine, or I had also thought of doing a version of the log cabin but with a single colored square in the center with blacks on one side & greys/whites on the other. Each square would have a different color though-like one center would be red, the next would be blue, the next would be green, etc. Thoughts? Ideas? I really do want her gift to be used & cherished....

I would definitely not make a black and grey quilt for a baby.

You need to respect the mother for caring so much about the stepdaughter's feelings. I would have a hard time making a black and grey quilt too, but would try to accomodate the Mom's wishes. Is there any fabrics in those colors with juvenile designs? Perhaps old time cartoon character prints would come in these colors...Good Luck with this project. Maybe you could make 2 quilts if time permits..one for the crib in the mother's choices and the other for the "security blanket" that the child could carry around as he gets older in your choices..

I don't ask what people want. I just make the baby quilt unless something specific has been mentioned in the shower invitation. After all, it is a gift. You know the circumstances go with your own best judgment. I would NOT feel compelled to go with black and grey. They may not use the quilt in the bedroom anyway.

Kind of chuckled at "the most resent request is . . . "

Especially seeing that you wrote 'recently' a few sentences previously.

You may not be old enough to remember this - but in the 1950's - charcoal gray and pink were 'hot' colors for guys - even in rural southern Minnesota!!!

And very hard to find!! I have MY most recent request for pink and grey for a baby girl...Finding fabrics I like is not easy!!!

How about making a double sided quilt - one side could be grey cammo (definitely masculine) and the other side could be scrappy in your choice of colors. That way you are pleasing the mom and yourself.

i like the log cabin idea. i think i'd stick with the mother's wishes for a color scheme. maybe you can use the construction worker fabric on the back?

I think since you did ask that you should honor the request. You might find a boy fabric you could work gray and black into.

There are some really cute baby/children's fabrics in the gray colors -- maybe you could go heavy on the gray and
a dash of black!

I would be interested to hear what the father of that little boy would say about him sharing a pink room. My bet is the room won't stay all pink for very long. I liked the suggestion of grey camo and colors on the back. I also think red, white, and blue might look okay with the pink. Good luck!

I'm sure they will have several quilts/blankets for the baby. If the mother doesn't like the colors of the quilt, then that quilt will be packed away, given away, etc. Make what will be used. I saw a baby at Walmart wrapped in a quilt of military camo. The parents obviously liked the choice, the stroller matched. Not my choice, but it certainly was theirs. You need to respect the parents wishes is you want your hard work to be used.

I like (vote) for compromise .... the gray camo for the back and your log cabin idea on the front. With the colorful center block surrounded by blacks and grays is outstanding. As the child grows, the colorful centers would be opportunity for learning color names. Gray is a popular color these days among young adults so it could be very "in". I do commend the mother for thinking of the step-daughter's accommodations as she prepares for her new baby.

I agree with making a double sided quilt. You get to be happy while the parents get what they want. A win, win in my thoughts.

I would go with the mother's wishes but I like the idea of a black, gray and white log cabin with the different colored centers. That would be cute! Also, keeping in mind that babies don't see color anyway many developmental baby's toys are black and white.

I honestly would not do double work by doing a double sided quilt. But I do think a bright backing would be fun and give a nod to the colored squares on the front. Then the mom gets what she wants and you get a nice color fix as well. Good luck and I hope you'll post a pic when you're done. :)

It almost sounds as if the "parents" are more concerned about the decor, than they are about the children. :-( I would not make a black & grey quilt, for any young child. I'd go with my instincts and make it colorful; if the parents have a snit about it, just offer to take it back. . . and offer them maybe $10 as consolation (maybe they can find some dreary, old rag for that much). :thumbup:

I have found that honoring someones request can be a challenge. When I sew a quilt or anything for that matter, I want to be creative and often they like things I don't. However, I do what they want.

I would add grey and black to the construction fabric and please both!

My question to you is; did you ask them what they wanted. If you gave them a choice then I'd go with it but it you didn't ask and they "told you" and if you pretty much made everyone elses the way You wanted then I'd do it the same way this time. You have to keep the same rules for everyone in the family or there will be major drama.

I would hazard a guess that if the OP didn't want to at least try to make something that the mother would like then she would not have asked. And by the way, taking the quilt back and offering $10 as a consolation is passive-aggressive and nasty. I am hoping that you were making a joke.

Whenever I make a quilt for a baby, I surprise the parent. I never ask them what colors they want. I never thought of asking. And I guess I'm glad I haven't asked because I wouldn't want your dilemma. I would make something you want to make and not say anything and give it to them. If they are nice enough people, they won't say anything about it not being the colors they wanted. They will only thank you and say how much they love it.

I migth go back tot he parents and say you found this great fabric etc etc do they still want the grey one. Otherwise I would go with the parents choice or make both quilts and say innocently it doesn't have a home and let them fall in love iwth it.

Good luck
Becks

Is the mother going to only let him have things in his room that won't clash with the girl stuff? The no clashing colors in a room shared by two kids of different genders is ridiculous and I would have been laughing my butt off if I was told that was the reason for the quilt color choice. I'd by pass the quilt gift and give story books.

Maybe do something with the Lt pink, Lt blue, brown and yellow and Lt green something like this. Point is there are fabrics that would work to match her colors and yet appropriate for a boy. I think Dad would be upset. I know my husband would of if I came home with a pink quilt for a boy.

http://www.christaquilts.com/images/inv-c/cmdem242.jpg

since you did ask, I think you should try to honor their wishes. If you really are having a hard time with the colors, see if you can add muted colors to it.
While I'm not a big fan of black for a baby, black and white are what they can distinguish first. Maybe you could use zebra fabric and make it a jungle quilt.

I like the idea of the grey and black or the mother color choices for the front I bet you could do a pretty neat log cabin quilt with black grey and white and then use the colorful fabric for the back. That way everyone would be happy. One side is for the baby that can't see colors anyway and can be used in the bedroom that doesn't clash and then the bright colorful side as the baby grows and can be used in any other room. Then the parents decide which works for them. I think it might be a lovely compromise and make everyone feel valued:)

i second this - you asked, you need to honor the answer you got.

That's why I don't usually ask what kind of baby quilt parents want - if I know, I'll make one appropriate to a theme, otherwise they get what I've got available.

Why not do a two sided quilt? Black and gray on one side and the more boy oriented for the other side?

This color combo uses gray and wouldn't clash with pink... But definitely still babyish.
http://teaginnydesigns.blogspot.com/...aby-quilt.html

If you google black gray baby quilt all kinds of neat options come up.

i have seen some animal prints in black and white, there may be some prints in black and white that have cars or trains, geometric prints in black and white could be a consideration. Do some kind of star block or pinwheels. There are also a lot of designs using hst's. Maybe use a bright blue that looks good with the pink as an accent for the baby boy.

Nothing passive-aggressive or nasty, about it. IF the parents were so nasty as to cause a snit about the gift, I certainly wouldn't consider them worthy of a lovingly-made quilt. Do you know what a "snit" is . . . or is it just a southern term?

I agree that if a person is ugly about receiving a handmade quilt they are not being nice or deserving of a gift of this caliber. However, two wrongs do not make a right. One should not match ugliness with ugliness. And yes, I know what a snit is.

I just make the quilts. I don't ask anyone what they want because then it becomes a contract and the gift gets lost.
If I know boy/ girl I will make appropriate selections. Other than that, they get what I make!
peace

I agree with QuiltnNan, Nancy - I too like the idea of a two sided quilt....using the kids colors on the back and the mom's on the front. !!!!! I will remember this though if I ask someone what they want....would probably mean going to the store for new fabric and not what is in my stash. Good luck.

I suppose some folks believe it is "ugly," to stand up for oneself. I don't believe in being an enabler, to rude and/or abusive people, so we'll just have to disagree on this.

I agree. One thing I remember about having babies, you can never have enough blankets for them. When my DD was born, I got what I at first thought was a hideous purple checked quilt with a scary-looking bunny appliqued on it. But I thanked the friend who gave it to me graciously & wouldn't you know it? It was the one I ended using the most (& I had about 6 other quilts alone... let alone all the other various blankies)! So, it just goes to show you...

I think this is a great idea. Black and white zebra print in a green jungle theme quilt wouldn't clash with the pink and can still be boyish and colorful. Then I like the idea of the gray camo for the backing. Then if the parents only want the black and white to show in the room, they simply put that side up.

You did ask her what she wanted so I think that is what you should go with. There are some nice gray and black prints out there right now. As maybe some of us don't like it, you do have to put it in perspective - if your hubby asked you what you wanted for your birthday, you then told him exactly what you liked, then bought you something totally different, would you be satisfied?

Look at it as a challenge that is out of your comfort zone, but not a huge project.

The log cabin idea is a good one. I saw a crib quilt recently in grey and white gingham, white and citrus yellow which looked fabulous. It was very simple with the gingham used for an appliqued shape and the name of the baby, plus one border and the bright colour also used as an internal border.
An Amish type of quilt used black as a thin border around colored squares and as links between the squares with a strong blue as a sashing; that was interesting too.
Babies like looking at geometric patterns and black, white and gray can be an exciting combination so I wouldn't worry about it not being a traditional combination. All the quilts I have made for babies in our family have been used as play mats anyway as small babies often don't have quilts in their cribs.
You can get good ideas about what modern mothers like by going online to the upscale baby store sites and seeing what the current top sellers are.
Good luck with whatever you choose to make.

Suzan (Maine)

This could be adapted to grays and blacks instead of whites and blacks -

http://www.quiltingboard.com/picture...ml#post5267524