I agree. You will start liking it if you stop thinking of what you originally had in mind. We all do this at some time.

I really love your quilt, live with it for awhile before wacking off the offending border. You may grow to like it. Next time have a list of what you want done on your quilt. I quilt for some people who can not pay me and I really like some of their ideas but sometimes they do not realize what goes into quilting on a longarm machine. So either I try to explain the problem to them or I turn them down.

I have to agree with you--I think the border detracts from the embroidered flowers. I have had similar problems with a design that I thought would be gorgeous and turned out yucky. I put the quilt away and hauled it out about a year later and completely changed the design. I guess what I am saying is if you are unhappy with the quilt now and it is not what you pictured, in my opinion you never will really love it.

Yes, I showed it to my two daughter-in-laws this evening and they didn’t like it either. I have been in contact with another quilter who said she would look at it. She said it may be possible to remove the entire border and she would quilt a new border to be attached. I am sure this is probably anathema to most quilters, but if it can look decent I am tempted.

I think the quilt is lovely as it is. I don't think the difference in border size is noticeable, unless put side by side, which would not happen when laying on the bed. And the quilting appears to be beautifully done.
That said, I would never allow her to do another quilt for me, especially since she had already altered other quilts to her choice, not yours. You pay her, and she should follow your instructions.
I usually give my LAer free reign, and have never been disappointed. When I have specific instructions, she has followed them exactly, and always confirms with me if she has any questions. Even though I love her work, if she changed anything without clarifying first, I would not be able to trust her again.
You mention that you have located another quilter who may be able to help you. I would take it to her, explain clearly what I wanted, and then go from there. I also would speak to the other person and explain why I felt the need to go to those measures, especially the point that you felt your instructions were not honored, and her choices were not your choices.

I think that might be a very good option, to take it down to the checkerboard part and then rebuild it out from there. Do you have any fabric left? Can you find good/close enough alternatives or will it just be a different unhappy. But if less unhappy than now, maybe it's enough.