Tacky in the extreme. Actually, I was always taught that a gift was never required when invited to a graduation, shower or wedding, just a nice card.

After going through my DSS's high school graduation (small town, everyone knows everyone) this past June, I'm starting to feel like invitations are a blatant bid for money/gift cards/gifts. Why would they send me a invitation to their graduation when they know I'll be there for the DSS and I'll be at his party, not theirs!!!???

you wouldn't want to hear me rant if i'd received an invite for gc only! gifts are for the giver to choose. i'd choose not to give one.

I have never heard of that. Quite frankly if I were to get an invite like that, I wouldnt go. Your right, its tacky and disrespectful and rude!!

Yes , but the couple flew from Montana to Texas and had the wedding here in Texas. Getting gifts home would have been impossible flying. So they requested gift cards and provided a nice list of stores local to both areas.

Is the shower being thrown by the bride, or by her friends? It's possible she was not part of the gc-only decision, especially if she didn't register anywhere.

I think in some circumstances gift cards are a better gift choice, but I feel you should have the option to purchase a gift, make a handmade gift, OR purchase a G.C. Showers aren't as much fun if you can't see the recipient open the gifts and ooh and aah over them. I like the idea of registering at 1 or 2 stores for items and have the option of purchasing a G.C. on that registry.

It's also extremely tacky to put ANYTHING about gifts in the invitation. If you read the etiquette guides, they say not even to list where the person is registered - that should be conveyed when an invitee calls/emails to RSVP and specifically asks about registration or gift ideas.

As far as getting invitations for relative's children that you don't even know - is it possible that in the spouse's family, it' considered polite to invite all the family? I know that several of my DH's aunts were offended that they weren't originally invited to my baby shower, because in their family, absolutely everyone was invited to everything. I, on the other hand, thought an invitation would have been seen as a rude request for a gift, since I'd barely ever spoken to them. ;)

Tacky. Wouldn't it be nice if people who have everything they "need" just ask for donations to a food pantry or favorite charity? I would be aghast at the very thought of a gift card. I consider it the same as a request for money.

I was taught a gift is what the giver selects.. I find it outragious to dicate what the giver should be expected to give. It is dangerously close to asking for $$ at the door.
Often get inviations, that I classify as "fund raiser invitation" ,I decline those that fall in that category.
I am sure Miss Manners would and has had a thing or two to say about it.
One of the things I always loved about my Mom"s cupboard where she keeps the "good stuff" is that when she decided to use a piece or simply clean the contents , she can still tell me who gave her what piece as a wedding gift.

I understand there are "gift card showers", however it should have some options. I think they might as well just asked for cash. About the same diffrence.