My BGF daughter is getting married and instead of gifts, they want the quests to donate money for a vacation package to Hawaii or where ever they can go!

I think this is totally rude!

I agree! But I guess the best response is just not to respond, and the point will be made.

You're right maybe this is a new trend but I don't like it. Next they will just send you an envelope and you can mail it in! Where's the fun and tradition in that!?

I really think this is tacky. Next thing will be a request for a gift card in the amount of ____ or Not Less than ____.
I would make them a gift card, maybe something like this. 'This Gift Card good for one quilt. Colors of your choice.' Or 'This Gift Card good for one evening of Baby Sitting'.

I still go with a gift is what I want to give. If it was me I would ignore the ivite and file it in the trash. I think it is very tacty to tell you what to give as a gift. if you had asked maybe for suggestions and they said a gift card then that would be more acceptable. only my opinion.

NancyG said it well --- sometimes gift cards are a good choice, as in the previously-mentioned couple that bought a fixer-upper. But, I am sure they would enjoy a handmade touch for their new home to treasure for years to come. Its nice to give people an idea of what you would like/need, but it should ultimately be up to the giver to decide what they will do, if anything.

Not sure what's been happening lately, but its a trend that I don't like. Two of my nephews look at me as a source of income. Well, after two years of no "thank yous" I have stopped sending anything. Wonder if they'll get the hint?

I am not happy when I'm given an envelope at the shower for me to address myself so the bride can send a thank-you. They have the address from the invitation - make 2 labels.

Oh, my. This is a new one --- never heard about this. How terrible!?! Writing thank yous isn't hard, it just takes a little time. Wow!! When did complete lack of manners become acceptable? My mother had a good way to teach my brother and me about writing thank yous...as young as 7 or 8, we had to write them. As bad as they were, she sent them (I even found a couple among my grandmother's things after she died). We weren't allowed to wear the clothing/read the book/play with the toy/spend the money until after we wrote the note. That was a good motivator for us.

If you barely know the parents of the bride, why would they send invitations and such tacky requests also. I wouldn't bother giving anything, it's not like she's your best friend and there's no law that says that you HAVE to give a gift.

even though you received an invite - you are NOT obligated to provide a gift - most especially if you are not friendly with or do not know the folks involved. I would just toss the invite and forget it