This is so rude it's almost funny. How can anyone sign their name to an invitation like this. I would not go. Even if it was a friend of mine, after such a request I just would not go.

I actually saw that happen once. A couple we knew got married and asked that no wedding gifts be given, instead bring a gently used or new item for donation to shelter.

With many couples living together before marriage, they may have already set up the house hold & have many things that normally would be received at a shower. With that said, I still think the 'gift card only' is tacky. They should have registered & put only the items needed on the registry

I agree it's very tacky...My nephew did something even tackier...he announced his wedding date but didn't invite, then at the bottom he went into a rather lengthy religious diatribe and ended it with "cash is most appreciated". He got NOTHING from me. They were both living at home at the time so household things would have been helpful for them to set up a new home, but to say send cash was so rude!!!

I think it is tacky to ask for cash or gift cards. I was just invited to a shower where it stated on the invitation "no boxed gifts". I had no idea what this meant until I asked and it means they only want cash or gift cards. I was very put off by this.

I immediately discard any invitation that states gift cards only ... this is rude ... has the meaning of "gift" changed over years?

Very Tacky!!!!

I usually give what I give and that is that. I don't go to speciality shops...can't afford that.

Give these people a lovely wedding card, signed by you, wishing them the best and THAT will be their "gift card." :)

I've never heard of the gift card idea. Personally, I would rather not attend either shower. Ultimately I feel that a gift is just that ... a gift that you decide to give because you want to, not because you are told to.

I've never hear of that. I wouldn't go. You should send that suggestion into Dear Abby - I'd like to hear what she has to say about it. Unbelielvable.

I just went to two baby showers and they just said where they were registered. I think its pretty tacky, how will you know what they got with your money. Maybe this saves them sending out thank-you notes. I do recall a wedding where they wanted money but they said it was to remodel a bathroom in there home, I thought that was fine.

I think it is extremely tacky to invite you to a party and tell you what to give as a gift. I think gift registries are tacky also so I guess I am the wrong person to give an opinion on this. I NEVER give a gift I am supposed to give I give what I would have liked to recieve, something from my heart!

My sisters and I had a shower for our nephew and his bride-to-be. One of mys sisters always insists on a theme for the shower, baby or bridal. This time we took the couple's name, and assigned every guest a letter in their names. Say " Jack and Paula." You got the letter J to find a gift that starts with that. Juicer, jam & jellies, etc. One girl got the letter 'N' and gave the bride at gift card to Victoria's Secret with a note;"you decided if your gift is Naughty or Nice!" It was fun for everyone to see what gifts they came up. Our couple has the letter O in their names and I had it. Oregano, O's cereal, olive oil, olives, t-towel and dish cloth that said Organic Olive Oil on them! They were registered and some gifts came from the registry. But most people got real creative with! It was fun..

Just FYI about graduation "invitations", the cards you receive are actually graduation "announcements" not necessarily invitations to the actual graduation as a lot of graduations now days have limited seating and you need a ticket to get into the graduation. The "announcements" are just to let people know of an accomplishment ... not necessarily a bid for money. I viewed my childrens' announcements as letting relatives know what's going on with my kids and they are not expected to do anything about it. I always send them a picture as well with a note as to what is happening with my child at the time. I get those from my cousins etc., and love hearing from them even if I haven't seen them for many years. Additionally, my kids ALWAYS write thank you notes! And, they are both boys!!! Sorry about my vent, but I know my aunt was rude to my sister about receiving a graduation announcement and was told she hadn't seen her daughter in years and wasn't giving her anything .... that aunt no longer gets updates .... she apparently does not care (she lives half way across the country). I have received those invitations for GCs only and still made things. It is MY gift to give! Good luck.

I'm with clynns. Throw the invite in the trash and go about your business.

Lynn

I have never heard of this before! I'd pass.

I probably wouldn't go, or send a gift, just a congrats card & say you had other plans, if anyone dares ask. I really hate it when someone tries to tell you what to buy them, gift cards or whatever....

Seems tacky and nervy to me too. My solution would be simple. Send a card of congratulations...period. No money, no gift card, no check.

I agree with you but most people still see them as a call for gifts. Kind of sad.

tell them you don't have a pattern to sew that

So what do they do during the shower? Sit & read ea. card & how much you pd. for it?

this makes sense. my daughters brother in law was raised here. we are close with him and the family. At her baby shower, thrown by sister in laws here, the sil's suggessted gift cards. because the kids drove in from several states away and had to have room in the car for a return trip gc made sense. I included one with the quilt. it was a fairly small, mostly family shower of 2 people. the kids stayed for a week and everyone had a great visit. so, I spose different situations make different solutions acceptable

IMO this one of the few times that I feel the request for gift cards is appropriate. However, I think it is tacky to request GC for showers generally.

I agree -- personally, it would be a relief to not have to make the shopping tripS trying to figure out what to buy that won't break you, hoping it'll be something they'll like and use, because it seems the less-expensive items on their registration lists are already bought, etc. etc.

Never heard of this before. Even though people are registered I usually end up giving what I want, a baby quilt, wallhanging, etc.

I'm confused, must have missed something. How did you know who flew from where to where? Are you related to or know the original poster? 'Cause if that's the case it does make a little more sense.

Sorry...I would not attend any shower where I was directed as to what to give.

Why not send a "gift card" from you, for a personal gift of a quilt or whatever you want to make for her. She can redeem it (or not).... I think gifts are just that~~ Gifts. The other is like asking for a "free will donation" of a specific amount. Sort of tacky in my opinion. I may be old and grouchy about this, but at my age, I do not allow others to dictate to me what I can give (or not)... Let your inner voice be your guide. Be happy. :)

Yes, I do believe it's in poor taste to delegate what is desired like the gift cards, I am guilty of it, too. In our DD's case, she was living in Oregon, came home to get married and then would pack up her household to move to Colorado. Therefore, when I sent out the invitations for the Bridal Shower, it was my suggestion to request gift cards for the bridal shower with a suggested list of chain stores available in the town of Colorado. It was so much simpler for the bride as well as the out-of-state guests who were also invited to the bridal shower here. But normally, as an invited guest to Bridal or Baby showers, I will look at the registry and if I don't see anything within my budget or liking, then I will choose my own gift; purchased or homemade.

I went to a baby shower last Sunday afternoon. The time was 2 to 4. She opened your gifts as you came in and stacked them up in a pile. She also asked for diapers (pampers) from each invitee, and your name was put in for a doorprize. Had great food. Talked to a few people and then went home.

The last wedding I attended, I gave the couple a gift card only because they both knew I had been very ill and was still recovering and did not have the energy to go shopping. Otherwise I would have bought a gift. If you do not know the couple well, say you are sorry, but other plans prevent you from attending the shower. No attendence, no gift, no guilt.

I think it's extremely rude to ask specifically for anything. You are being invited to a shower and it's up to you what you give. It is also rude to have the guest address their own thank you card envelope at the shower. These people need to remember that you are a GUEST at the shower. If I can spend the time and the money to buy or hand make something for the bride or mother to be, she can find my address and send me the card.

I think it is tacky there are to many invitations anymore only looking for gifts or money I have gotten invitations did not even know who they were from then talking to my sister-in-law found out it was some distant relative it did go in the garbage so many people you never hear from until they want something I ignore them unles someone I really know

I would just make a 'gift card' of my own stating what the gift is. (a free night babysitting, a baby quilt for the first child, a quilting lesson, etc.) No one can say you have to 'buy' the gift card. IMHO.

if you hardly know the family, why are you being invited? why are you thinking of going? send a congratulatory card and wish them happiness.

Oh, I LOVE that idea for any occasion! Sometimes I think homemade gifts arent well recieved because the recipient doesnt care for the colors (not their favs, or doesnt go w/ their decor), or the design. But, if they can pick what they would like made, esp at a later date when they can digest the meaning of homemade (hand made, crafted, disigned, created especially for -) they understand how much the giver really cares about them. And, even more, maybe a card that says at a later date they can turn the card in for free quilting lessons! sharet

I haven't received any yet here where I live - most are registered some place. Where is the excitement of opening up that shower gift? I guess if someone gave $$$$ money then they might get excited. I personally don't like it. I think it is presumptious of someone to ask for "money".

I was invited to one like that for a co worker. I was kind of shocked, but chalked it to the fact they were young and probably didn't know any better. But now I see it may be a growing trend. Not sure I like it!

Actually, I don't see much difference in that and being registered.