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Originally Posted by Lori S
I was taught a gift is what the giver selects.. I find it outragious to dicate what the giver should be expected to give. It is dangerously close to asking for $$ at the door.
Often get inviations, that I classify as "fund raiser invitation" ,I decline those that fall in that category. I am sure Miss Manners would and has had a thing or two to say about it. One of the things I always loved about my Mom"s cupboard where she keeps the "good stuff" is that when she decided to use a piece or simply clean the contents , she can still tell me who gave her what piece as a wedding gift. |
You are right. Too bad that way, huh. I understand people being offended by gift card requests, but sometimes it is just more practical for people to receive ... it doesn't mean you have to. My boys went to college across country and there is no way they could get all their gifts to school.... we didn't ask for gc, but it would have been nice for them to be able to buy the things they needed when they got to school rather than me having to take them back for cash or paying to send them back to them.
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Originally Posted by laceybritt
I know times are changing BUT I have received an invitation to a bridal shower that states gift cards only and from 1 to 3. The same with a baby shower invitation. IMO this is extremely tacky and makes me feel like I should just drop off the gift card and leave. I barely know the parents of the couples! I was told this is how they are 'throwing' the showers now. Is this going on in your town also?????? Am I just being too old fashioned to think the choice of gift is mine to make??? I can understand a theme or 'we are registered at' but just all gift cards only?????
And an invitation stating 1-3 gift cards, that really takes the cake in my opinion!!! Just me but I would not give them anything, and if ever ask why, I wouldn't hestitate to tell them. |
Call me old fashioned because I do not like the registry deal and especially a request for gift cards, I think it is pretty bold, I would never in my life dream of asking someone for a gift card, wow, nothing says "I think your gift might suck so I want to pick my own up". And I am not fond of the registry either, though it is not tacky, I just dont care for that myself.
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yes. people are very specific about what they need/want. this is especially true in this economy. also, people don't want to have to return a lot of repeat gifts. it actually takes the guesswork out of gift giving. i have made some quilts in colors i never would have made as a result but the recipients were happy and that is the point.
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Originally Posted by laceybritt
I know times are changing BUT I have received an invitation to a bridal shower that states gift cards only and from 1 to 3. The same with a baby shower invitation. IMO this is extremely tacky and makes me feel like I should just drop off the gift card and leave. I barely know the parents of the couples! I was told this is how they are 'throwing' the showers now. Is this going on in your town also?????? Am I just being too old fashioned to think the choice of gift is mine to make??? I can understand a theme or 'we are registered at' but just all gift cards only?????
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Originally Posted by kuntryquilter
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I would make them a gift card, maybe something like this. 'This Gift Card good for one quilt. Colors of your choice.' In all honesty, I think as far as $$$ spent... the quilt I'd make would probably have more value in fabric/thread/etc... (not to mention TIME) than any amount I'd have spent on a gift card. But of course most non-quilting people don't understand the real VALUE in a handmade quilted item. They likely see a baby quilt at Wal-Mart for $9.96 and think that's the worth/value of a any quilt - handmade or store bought. |
a 2 hour shower? wow........
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I like 'themed' showers...it always helps me in selecting a gift. I do agree...a gift card shower is tacky. I am to the point where I really hate being invited to a shower...and, many times, I just send a gift and do not attend.
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I have never yet given a gift card. For bridal showers I like to make a table runner and placemats in the wedding colors. For the babies, sometimes a quilt, sometimes crib sheets or receiving blankets, with pillow cases for the older siblings. I AM old fashioned, and I intend to stay that way.
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Originally Posted by GrannieAnnie
Originally Posted by Lori S
I was taught a gift is what the giver selects.. I find it outragious to dicate what the giver should be expected to give. It is dangerously close to asking for $$ at the door.
Often get inviations, that I classify as "fund raiser invitation" ,I decline those that fall in that category. I am sure Miss Manners would and has had a thing or two to say about it. One of the things I always loved about my Mom"s cupboard where she keeps the "good stuff" is that when she decided to use a piece or simply clean the contents , she can still tell me who gave her what piece as a wedding gift. |
i've been to a few celebrations where the couple getting married or engaged has everything. they make a formal announcement and ask you to not give gifts, but if you feel you must give something, please give a donation to the american cancer society, or the humane society, etc. whatever they support. i think this a kind thing to ask and leaves you free to not give at all or give what you can.
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Hmmm....must be the new trend, as I have never heard of this before.
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I don't like it, and probably wouldn't go. I'm a firm believer in giving what I think you would like to have. Not what you've instructed me to give you.
If I still wanted to go, I would give the gift that I wanted to give them or no gift at all. I don't care that times have changed. Manners still matter! IMHO |
Originally Posted by Therese
Give these people a lovely wedding card, signed by you, wishing them the best and THAT will be their "gift card." :)
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I don't like being dictated to on gifts. Registration at a certain store is okay, but gift cards only?????? I think I would just ignore it altogether. I'm bad!!!
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I suspect maybe they already have a lot of stuff and just don't want to be given gifts they can't use. maybe they already live together and have most of what they need and that's why they want gift cards. However, it is tacky to put that on there. If you want to bring a gift do so. If they don't appreciate it, they don't deserve it
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It is tacky. I'd pass.
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I'm okay with listing the stores a couple is registered with, then I can make the decision for handmade, gift off registry, or gift card. Don't like being told what to buy. That is some of the fun, especially for baby showers. I don't have any grandchildren yet and really enjoy either making or shopping for baby items.
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Originally Posted by laceybritt
I know times are changing BUT I have received an invitation to a bridal shower that states gift cards only and from 1 to 3. The same with a baby shower invitation. IMO this is extremely tacky and makes me feel like I should just drop off the gift card and leave. I barely know the parents of the couples! I was told this is how they are 'throwing' the showers now. Is this going on in your town also?????? Am I just being too old fashioned to think the choice of gift is mine to make??? I can understand a theme or 'we are registered at' but just all gift cards only?????
where are the nice showers when the bride-to-be or the mother-to-be, sits in the center and opens all the lovely gifts and the "OHs & AHs" fill the room. I'm sure that "Emily Post" would cringe if she received such an invitation !!!!!! |
When my son came home for a baby shower before his son was born- many of my friends asked about gift cards since he was flying -but we are also willing to mail or fedex the gifts if we needed to. We knew gift cards would be best - but would have never dreamed of asking for them as the only option. ( I only had one frequent flyer ticket so brought him home and let the mommy to be have a few days to rest - bless her heart she understood)
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If someone doesn't get what they want it is not a gift. value doesn't matter.
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Tacky, tacky. What is wrong with people these days? No manners. Next thing you know they will want you to include a self-adressed envelope so they can thank you.
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Originally Posted by Rubyrednails2
Tacky, tacky. What is wrong with people these days? No manners. Next thing you know they will want you to include a self-adressed envelope so they can thank you.
now the best part is that I never received a thank you.. but was later (much later) told by the bride-to-be that she was enjoying using the gift.... yet the wedding had not yet happened...GO FIGURE! |
I would send a no RSVP. Why not just stick a box outside the door to drop the gift cards in.
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Laceybritt, Times are changing. I was invited to a gift card shower for my nephew's new baby. They, also, wanted gift cards for Subway, etc. and suggested everyone bring something for their freezer. I live out of state, so that wasn't something that I could do.
In cases with an older couple who have set up their households, I don't mind giving gift cards. I don't like to buy something that the couple won't use. I've given money to couples who want extra money for their honeymoon. I gave money to a friend who had a 60-30 party and they bought a drink with it. They have everything a couple could use. Eiltcoq. |
It is very rude. But that is so common now. The whole idea a a shower is to help the new couple out however, and I guess this is the easiest way. Usually they would have to return half of the stuff anyway. Can you remember doing that? I got so many duplicates of Corning Ware I was so disappointed, as I would have rather had towels, sheets. But you couldn't request things then like they do now. So it is just a sign of the times. Sad to say. When you're young you don't think much of others..anyway I think I've acquired it through the years. (I hope)
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The only situation that would arise requesting gift cards is if the bride-to-be lives out of town. It would be difficult to transport gifts if she is flying.
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If you don't want to do gift cards, don't. A gift is a gift, give what you want or don't bother to go. I think the invitation could have stated 'gift cards suggested but not required'. or something similar and not tacky. Some people like the ease of purchasing a gift card, others want to chose something more personal and delight in the search for the right gift.
I also find the trend of having party guests make out their own thank you card envelopes with name address to be extremely tacky and on the edge of rude. We spend our hard earned money to purchase a gift, spend time and energy and then asked to make out the thank-you envelope? The recipient should take the time, energy to express sincere thanks and make out the envelopes and send the thank you card. IMHO |
Originally Posted by AliKat
Couple of thoughts here.This is what I was going to say. My son and his fiancee are coming to Phoenix for a destination wedding. They live in Yellowknife NWT, in northern Canada. They can't expect to have to fly bags of wedding gifts north. So this is where gift cards could come in handy.
Sometimes gift cards are the best way to go ... - if a soon to be married couple already have their own places and don't need much 'stuff'. Coordinating the cards for certain stores - like Home Depot, Lowe's, or such - makes total sense. Remember these are guidelines, and sometimes have a purpose. - if the person the shower is for lives far away and gifts would be hard to take home. Then there might be the option of giving a picture of the gift and then mailing the gift to them. - if there are a lot of hand me downs already for a baby or the parents to be don't have much room for more 'stuff.' Of course you could always call whoever is hosting the shower and talk about preferences/reasons/ etc and then decide if you can make it or not. Funny topic in a way. This summer one gal I met said that there had been so many divorces that now she only makes picnic quilts for newly weds and waits til the 5th year anniversary before making a bed quilt. My bridal gifts have ranged from addressing the invitations with calligraphy to decorating the reception hall. These were really appreciated gifts, too. ali |
I think gift cards are fine if that is what one so desires.but to be told that is"IT"........ forget that!!!!!!
A lot of today's stores are located throughout the country.and if one wants to purchase a gift, it can very easily be delivered for one of their stores in the bride's locale. And they just might wrap it for you !!!!! |
I'm with you guys.. I'd be happy to grab a gift card (gives me more time to quilt) But I'm all about convenience in my old age, and it means I don't have to rack my brain on something they may get 3 of.....JMHO
Originally Posted by gramajo
Originally Posted by bj
I've been invited to one like that. Both were older (mid-30's) and had lived on their own since college and had nice things. She already had every kitchen gadget known. They asked for gift cards to Home Depot, as they'd bought an old fixer-upper house. I actually thought it was a great idea, for them. I think cards are sometimes a good idea, especially when you don't know the couples all that well.
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