My MIL has hinted about not having a quilt on their bed in the new house (more than hinted!). I would love to make them a quilt. We are heading to SC (they go there for the winter) and I would like to take her to look for fabric to get some ideas on colors she was thinking about.

Here's my questions:

1. How do I show her what patterns I would be willing to make with out looking too pushy?

2. If we wait to pick the pattern at the quilt shop and she picks out one that I don't feel I could do a good job (e.g. applique) how can I say no and steer her in another direction, again without looking badly?

3. Should I take her, watch her with colour choice (see what she's drawn to) and make something on my own and surprise them? They are pretty easy going people.

I could go by the colours of her house except it's all "builder's beige" right now and has not decided on colours. They did live in their previous house for 36 years and has decided "very neutral" this time!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

If you don't feel comfortable making a certain pattern, just tell her. Explain to her that you don't think your talents are "polished" as of yet to tackle something like that. I'm sure if you search Google, you will find some nice/free patterns the she would definitely like.

When I make quilts for people I let them pick one piece of fabric they totally love. Then I pick all the coordinates and the pattern.

Wow, that was fast!!! LOL

That's the direction I was heading. I just didn't know if that was pushy or not.

I don't think it's being pushy at all. I think it's being sensible. You're the artist and you should make the creative decisions.

I would take along a few patterns that I know I could make easily, and let her choose from those.

I made the mistake with my DDIL of letting her go through all my magazines to choose the one she wanted for her birthday. The very last magazine had an argyle quilt she just had to have.... About a zillion offset seams that I had to master! lol!!! The frustration was killing me for quite awhile, took the fun right out of it. (DH was also having surgery, etc, and I had no focus) But I did master them, and ended up liking working on it towards the end! :)

I think this is a great idea.

Me too :D

I'd do the total surprise thing. Watch what colors they both tend to wear a lot...check out the colors of accessories, etc. and fly from there. You could also take her shopping with you for fabric, and purchase something she likes, but don't tell her it's for her...

You can pretty much tell from the things they have whether they're country, Victorian, modern, etc...

And then have fun with it knowing that since she's hinted about it that she's going to love it!

I surprised my MIL with a quilt for Christmas one year and she redecorated her bedroom around it!!! I did know her favorite colors though. :D

i don't think you should worry about being pushy.

the truth is that you are being pushed. :lol:

select three patterns you think you can make successfully. "surprise" her by letting her choose which of those three patterns she likes best. stear her toward fabrics that fit your budget.

i'm not suggesting you be at all nasty or negative about it. just make sure to be gently and lovingly honest as each stage of the subject comes up. that way, you'll enjoy making it as much as she enjoys having it. ;-)

My dads easy. If it's red he loves it. You know how picky she may be. Let that tell you the best way to go on.

Nearly all the quilts I have made for others started with one fabric they loved and I built the quilt around it. That works best for me.

The idea about giving her a choice of three or four patterns you were comfortable with sounds like a winner to me. Non quilters are kind of like small children who need help choosing what to wear. The easiest thing in that case is to give them several appropiate choices to choose from. That way both parties are happy. As for the fabric take her to a real LQS so she realizes the price of "good" fabric. The other suggestion about letting her choose just one theme fabric can save you money since you might just have fabrics already in your stash or know other sources of less expensive fabrics that will work with the pattern.
I hope your MIL really appreciates all of your time and artistry.

Yeap, very well said.
:thumbup: Good luck

My one thought about letting someone else pick the pattern, is that most often the patterns are made up using certain colours. Someone who is new at picking might have trouble visualizing the pattern in different colours, or might be distracted by the colour combinations in the quilt.

The idea of picking one fabric then coordinating around it is a great idea. That's how I've done it, and I don't think anyone's been disappointed yet. That leaves me the decision of what pattern would best suit the initial choice as well.

Good point about the patterns being in color...so make a few black/white copies of those you would like to work with and then you can shade them in with some of the color of the fabric she likes.

Your right. Sometimes I have a hard time looking at a pattern with the colors they used. When I first started sewing I seen the B.Q. Pattern and the colors they used I thought were not my thing. Later I seen it in my colors and bought the pattern.
That was when I really started looking at patterns differently.
:-D :-D :-D Also now I look at them wondering how I can make them doggy. Infact the B.Q. quilt is in my UFO pile made all in doggy fabrics. I collect dog fabrics so love using them.
:thumbup:

I would go with #3. Let her pick colors, you pick the pattern. If she does pick a pattern you are not comfortable with, just tell her that it is above your skill level. It's ok to say no to a pattern if you fell uncomfortable with it.

BUT, take a look at the pattern first, not just the picture. Sometimes the pattern isn't as difficult as you may think. I have looked at some quilts and thought "no way can I do that". If you look at it one block at a time you can usually deconstruct it in your mind and it it easier than you think.

Do what YOU feel comfortable with. :-D :-D :-D

If you are making a quilt for her, have her pick out the colors and let the quilt itself be a suprise. so when she gets it she's gone to love what ever quilt you make her.

I'd do what others have suggested and let her pick out one fabric she loves. I made the mistake of telling someone to go to a quilt pattern site and see what they liked. I meant, do they like modern or traditional, dark or light, one with many different fabrics or one with just a few etc. And he picked out pattern and colors. It wasn't a difficult one but there are so many patterns I've wanted to try and I got stuck doing one I'm not fond of and in colors I'd never put together.. I won't do that again.

I would also pick the pattern yourself, but let her choose the colors and fabrics. Just tell her you want to try a special pattern you've been thinking of, but you want it to be a surprise for her. I would have the pattern picked out before you go with her to the store. Write down the amount of fabric you need, then at the store, tell her to start with one fabric she really likes, and you and she can go about picking out the rest of the fabrics together. You'll know how much of each fabric you'll need since you already picked out the pattern, she'll be surprised with the design of the quilt, but it will be in her favorite colors.

I would be careful of just letting her pick one fabric and building from there without telling her that you are specifically making a quilt for her. She may pick a fabric that she thinks you might like, or she might be saying she likes a fabric because she doesn't want to be rude, but if you tell her it's for her then she'll be honest about the fabrics she likes.

Good Luck!
Rachel

As a newcomer here, I finally had to jump in with my 2 cents worth. I feel you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You're going to take the joy out of it for youself. Just pay attention to the color scheme in her bedroom. Then you pick both pattern & fabrics then watch her rave over the finished quilt. Just enjoy the process. Pat

I say go with the "Total Surprise" route. That way you have total control and then give it to her and see how excited she is with it. If you give, in my opinion, her an inch, she might take a mile if she's pushy. Then that takes all the fun out of it for you. Good luck! I hope it turns out well for you and her.

What I tell family members who want me to make something for them is that we both have to love it: I will have to love it while I'm making it and they will have to love it when it's done. I don't go for the idea of a total surprise for that reason, but it does depend on how picky they are. Some people will love it no matter what because you made it for them, and some will be much more demanding--I'd like to have a good feeling about how they'll react while I'm working on it.

One time I told my daughter I wanted to make her young son a quilt and foolishly took her with me to pick out the fabric. She picked one out and my creativity promptly went out the window. That was the hardest quilt ever because I had trouble figuring out what on earth to do with the fabric she picked out. Never again. Now when I make a quilt for one of her children, I make it and surprise them and it's worked out well but they are young children.

I would suggest you find a few patterns you'd be comfortable working with and show them to her. Tell her you'd love to make a quilt for them and felt you could make one of the selected patterns and see if she likes any of them. Then go shopping for fabric. That way she'd be involved and get excited about the quilt. Sounds like she would be easy to work with.

Recently I decided I want to make a quilted sweatshirt for a good friend and would love to suprise her with one but knew I needed to know her size and had to give her a color choice. She has seen a photo of the pattern I plan to use (10 + years internet friend and yes, we've met) and loves it and is excited about. We discussed colors and I told her what I saw when my chapter made them and the stunning results. Her coloring is dramatically different from mine so I knew my color choices wouldn't be good on her however my instincts were right on target. I suspected she'd opt for black and white and she did and I told her that my instincts said black and white. Since she's in IN and I'm in FL, I selected the fabric but she's easy to please. I did tell her though that if she isn't happy with it in anyway, she can use it to do her yard work in. LOL. My goal is to make it beautiful enough that she'll be proud to wear to work and evenings out. Fitting is another issue that I know if it's off anywhere, she can quickly take it in to fit as she does alterations for stage play costumes.

Good luck with your quilt. I'm sure they will love and treasure it. Have fun doing it as I know it will be filled with a lot of love.
Patty

I love it!!! That is one fantastic suggestion.

I like the idea of showing her a couple of patterns to choose from and letting her choose one fabric of her choice to be used in the quilt - Also maybe what size she wants

Good luck

A friend of mine, a VERY good friend, had made me two beautiful quilts, all handmade before I ever took up trying to quilt. When she saw how worn one of them was getting due to great love and constant use, she decided she wanted to make another one for me. I didn't want her to pay for the new fabric etc and so I asked if I could go with her and pick out the fabrics. She assured me that was fine and off we went. Well, not ever having quilted, I picked out fabrics that were heavy, shiny, difficult to hand quilt and she smiled all the way saying, "SURE>GREAT> ANYTHING YOU WANT>" Sigh. Little did I know what torture I was giving her. My poor dear friend struggled for six months, working, HAND WORKING, on my terribly difficult choice of fabrics because she was too polite to tell me "NO!". The quilt is beautiful to say the least but she hated working on it. I felt terrible. (STILL DO.)
Now that I have started to quilt, my philosophy is strong. I CANNOT do somethng I don't want to do. I will not make a quilt because someone thinks they deserve one! I surprise people with quilts and they love them! That way, I love what I am doing. They love what they are getting and we are all happy. EVERYONE I HAVE CONSULTED about a quilt for them has made life difficult because they do not quilt. They have no idea of the work, the hours, the love, the cost, the layouts, etc. If you want to make a quilt for your MIL, please be open with her. Kindly ask her to sit with you, she'll probably love the attention and the gentle honesty, and go over some patterns you can do....let her choose if she wants. Show her the type of fabric you need to work on...and have her pick some colors. I have the BEST relationship with my wonderful DIL because we hug each other, cherish each other and are honest with each other in the kindest way. After all, a MIL gave you your spouse and a DIL gave you your grandchildren. Life is too short to stand on ceremonies, too short to be negative or to be trampled on either and too short not to love each other. Enjoy sitting and talking with each other and making the most wonderful quilt for her because you respect each other and tell each other what is best for both of you.
I can't believe my friend still speaks with me after the quilt choices I made for her! I did make her a quilt now, a silk quilt with silks I brought back with me from an Asian trip we went on together! She loved it, had the pleasure of know it was coming but not what it would look like. She kept petting my arm when she received it! Quilters rarely get quilts from others! Please enjoy but set gentle boundaries. It's good for both of you. Please let us all see what you do make. I'm sure it will be lovely for BOTH of you.

Phyl, what a wonderful friend you are. I totally agree with the way you handled it by making all of the choices yourself. Anytime I make a quilt for a specific person, they are in my thoughts with every stitch. It's a great way to honor somebody.
Pat

I give most of my quilts away and I pick the person,pattern and usually the colors. I figure they will like it or not and will be nice enough not to let me know if they don't like any part of it. So far they have all been pleased to get a quilt. My money my choices.

I am in agreement with the ideas posted. You are NOT going to enjoy making a quilt that is either beyond your skill level or one that you just don't like. Ask her about color and stick to that. You then pick some fabrics that are "her" color and that you like. Make the quilt a pattern that you are comfortable with and will enjoy making. She will love you for thinking of her by making this wonderful gift.

Pat....Thanks and I just think quilting is something you love to do for someone you love to do it for! Keep smiling and quilting!

I love it - but soooo true

A few questions -

Can you afford to make your MIL a quilt?
If your finances are limited, perhaps you could ask her to contribute to the cost of fabrics?

Or to have her pay for the quilting if she wants machine quilting?

And before commiting to make a quilt, find out what she wants.

I offered to make a quilt for my (now) DIL - and she wanted a floor-length king-sized one. We settled for a cover-the-mattress-sides size -

I (now) consider taking my OWN wishes and needs into consideration a very valid part of the process.

If you want to get some input from your MIL - that's good - also feel free to give her input back - cost, difficulty, etc. etc.

I have no problem with the total cost of the quilt (have you seen Canadian prices for quality fabric - yuck!!!). We are going down to visit them in North Myrtle Beach soon and I thought I would look at fabric down there with her. I am a fairly accomplished "quilt top piecer" (always send out to the LAQ). I think the only thing that I'm not comfortable with is applique, (and wouldn't you know it, most quilts I love have tons of applique in them and I will take a course on that someday). I guess I'm looking for a tactful way of telling her "no, I can't do that". And believe me "tactful" is not my middle name LOL!

When I have made quilts for someone, I have picked everything. They were thrilled to have a quilt hand made just for them! However, it is nice to have a color to start with. So, I would do one of two things:
1) Let her choose the focus fabric and you surprise her with the rest; or
2) Make the entire thing a surprise.
She is going to LOVE anything you make for her because you made it and you made it just for her.

I completely agree, that way you have some input into it also. You don't want to make a king size quilt of fabrics that you just can't stand... You'll never finish it, or hate every minute of it.

To my dismay, it turned out to be a disaster encouraging my Mum to pick a pattern and going to the fabric shop with her.

First, she couldn't decide about the patterns, for the simple fact that she couldn't see beyond the fabrics already in the pictures/photos and had no idea when looking at a graph.

So, I took her to the fabric shop, thinking that picking her own fabric would be fun... the greens were "too green, too dark, too light" (don't ask) :shock: with too many leaves, dots...

We tried this a few times, but eventually I went and and chose the pattern and fabric myself. It's part way through, she's seen it and absolutely loves it. lol!

I now think about what colour the person likes and then let them have a surprise. I've not yet had one disapointed recipient.