I work at (2) local funeral homes and since working there I see the waste in funeral flowers, especially the casket flowers which cost several hundred dollars..soooo....I decided I would quilt me a quilt to go on my casket and my family can take it home with them. Has anyone else thought about doing this??? I know we don't like to think about death, but it is coming to all of us.

I have thought about that actually. I was thinking about making one for my grandma when she passes away. save my parents loads of money on those flowers.

I made a lap quilt for a friends mother..they used it on the kneeler rail at her funeral. I really was honored that they would do that. I agree that flowers are so expensive and do not last.

I would think some of the bed runner patterns would work good for that.

what a wonderful and thoughtful idea

Bed runners is a good idea; mine is more lap top size..

when my daughter's newborn died, i made two small quilts. one was buried with the infant and one went home with the family. it now has a proud place on the wall with the pics of the other 4 kids.

Friends did this for their Mom several years ago.
And since then, several others have followed with one or several quilts on display!

At another funeral this past spring, the lady had been working on a quilt, with one block left to finish. They had the quilt at the funeral, and the one last block in her hand in the coffin. Since then her DIL completed the quilt for her. Then her husband (son of) decided it HAD to be shown at the Fair, just as Mom always would have done so. And so it was, winning a ribbon!! What a beautiful story, and perfect ending!! :)

As a sidestep here ... when my husband died, I didn't have the traditional casket spray, rather chose a milker with a bouquet worked in the top of it. We set it on the floor right next to the casket!! His tombstone is not traditional either ... rather an oversized rock from our farm that I had mounted, and with an engraved cow, and our farm name. The traditional details are on mounted on the base.

At my brother's funeral, they did a combination of both...a quilt that I had made him to use while he was getting chemo, and some flowers that picked up the colors in the quilt...but not a large arrangement, just a small one and it looked really nice.

Here in So. Jersey, most people choose to send most of the baskets of flowers to area nursing homes (as well as to churches if it'll be close to a Sunday service)...so at least the flowers are given the chance to be enjoyed be others...the spray of flowers across the top and/or the inside from the immediate family are left to blanket the top of the grave...but I also love the idea of a small lap quilt to go on your loved one...Naomi

My dad insisted that we spend as little as possible on his funeral - he had a strong opinion on the kind of profits funeral directors seemed to want. He even wanted us to find him a cardboard coffin, since he was going to be cremated, but they don't seem to be available in Ireland. In the end, each of us carried a single rose, and we draped his coffin in a quilt I had made him, of the White Ensign ( UK Royal Naval flag). I don't think the crematorium had seen anything like our dad's. He wasn't religious, so we didn't have a priest, we did our own thing, reminiscing on various aspects of his life, including landing on one of the D Day beaches in France. I noticed that all of the staff who had carried dad into the chapel for us stayed at the back to listen, and afterwards, one who gave me back his quilt, was kind enough to say that if it weren't for people like my dad, Ireland might have not been able to stay neutral during WW2.

It was a very kind thing to say, and I really appreciated it.

I like the idea -

Sort of like a civilian "flag" to put over the casket

I've told my kids that I want to be cremated, after the doctors have used whatever parts of my body I'm through with, then I want my kids to hurl my ashes at whatever neighbor I'm mad at at that time. The rest I want put in the mountains in Yosemite where my late DH and I back packed on our honeymoon. Or else in my dear Milton, WV hills where I spent my childhood, wondering over those green, green hills.

Actually, this is weird. I was just thinking about this last week. I am highly allergic to most flowers although plants are ok. I think the quilt would be perfect and I'm going to add that to my "requests". As they say, I hardly ever get flowers/plants now so I certainly can't enjoy them when I'm gone!

that thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I'm not into flowers myself and would prefer something a little longer lasting.

I've also told my family not to spend a lot of money on a casket for my body (not that I'm particularly concerned that they will :? )

My feeling is that - if I can't afford decent furniture now - what's the point in spending a lot of money on something that's just going to get put in the ground - after only a couple of days of ownership?

Unless it's a tree or something like that, of course.

Pre-arrange your funeral ... then no one can mess with your wishes in a sudden moment of stoic guilty grief!!!!!

I would rather have a colorful bouquet (s) of fat quarters , and those that attend can take from the bouquet .... I would rather have that than funeral cards.

Now there's a way for us to distribute our stashes!!! :)

They have been doing funeral quilts for several years now. I intened on making mine and one for mom as well.

I'm not very concerned about that!

I was thinking the same thing.

I want everyone who I have ever given a quilt to bring it to my funeral for a "show and tell"! I have given away hundreds and I think it would be cool to "see" them all together in one place. And of course I want lots of pictures!!!

I had made my Mom a lap quilt which she really liked. When she was cremated, I had the quilt go with her. So it is mixed in with her ashes that we will spread on the creek that's on my sister's property. I have my quilt that I cover with when I nap in my easy chair. It will cover my casket when I die. That's not going to be anytime soon though. :-)

i have made a number of casket quilts for friends and loved ones- and a couple by request for people i did not know-
maybe it's a location thing- we've been seeing them draped across caskets here for as long as i can remember- in lieu of flowers on the casket.

This is an interesting discussion. I spent yesterday at church for a funeral, as I was walking out after the luncheon, I saw the casket flowers on a table in the fellowship hall ( the deceased was being flown to another state for burial, so no grave to put the flowers on). Being a flower fanatic, I was appalled at the condition of the flowers. It had looked like a stunning cascade of yellow roses. But they were brown, old, and wouldn't last another day before dropping petals. I know they spent a lot of money on those, and I was angry for the family. I hope they didn't notice.

If some florist delivered flowers to my funeral in that condition, I'd come back to haunt them. So I think a quilt is the answer!!! Guess I'll have to learn how to applique, so I can make me own "bouquet". Great idea.

I think this is a super great idea....Since I am going to be cremated, I could make one to be wraped in, inside my cardboard box....and make a bag to hold the container of my ashes......As I am writing this....I am thinking...I have my husbands box of ashes, currently sitting on my fireplace mantle...and upstairs I still have a bunch of his shirts I used to make quilts for his grandchildren. I think I will make that bag for him next....the anniversary of his death is tomorrow so he will have a 'new quilt' to keep him warm.
I am thinking a large circle with a drawstring.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh an idea is born....will post pics... Please do not think I am morbid, as I am not, I was married to my childhood sweetheart for 43 years and lost him to an extremely un-expected heart attach.... I talk to him every night and he watches TV with me.....

When my mom passed in 2010, we asked that in lieu of flowers donations go to a local homeless shelter.

My mother was a watercolor artist and professor. My brother and I picked out her (and our)favorite floral paintings and put them on easels behind her coffin. Friends brought others and made an improptu gallery in the hall outside the sanctuary. It was beautiful.

Why not quilts!?!?

This has been a very tender message board. It has given me many thoughts to think about. One is my husband is not into flowers at all. He loves his hunting. He does have just a few skins or hide's and I thought why not put that on his casket. Julie?

How nice. I have two friends that are gone and I talk to them every once in awhile. They may be gone but they will always be in our hearts.

You go Girl!!!

Lesley, I loved your story! My Dad from Galveston, Tx also landed at Normandy on D. Day and ended up married to a gal from N. Ireland that he met at a church dance while stationed in Belfast. I was born there! Yes, your Dad was truly part of the Great Generation. Thanks for sharing.

Some churches have a funeral pall to put over the casket. It is a cloth large enough to cover the casket and usually has a cross embrodier on it. It is usually lined but not quilted. But I see no reason not to make a quilt for that occasion. It would be so much more personal.

I think that is a perfect solution. I hope it's many many years before you have to implement it though.

Interesting thread.

Never thought about it, but really like the idea!

i like this idea, myself :thumbup:

At my first DH's funeral we specifically asked that no flowers be given, but donations in his name be made to the Wounded Warriors foundation. We gave people links to their donation page and donation envelopes and it worked great. We used some flowers I'd grown in our yard in a simple vase beside his casket. The flag drapped the casket so I was happy.

Okay back to point - a flag looks lovely on a coffin. I think a runner/quilt/lapquilt etc would look lovely too! And save a ton of money.

I was happy to read what you all wrote - i thought I was the only person who was trying to save money in a funeral and using personal touches that mattered to the one who passed.

Thank you all - :)

I love the idea of a quilt that my family can take home with them. The quilt would be meaningful to them because they know how much I love quilting. My children go in together to get me a large gift card from my favorite LQS for Christmas to help feed my habit. Some of these clever folks on the Board will have to come up with a special quilt pattern for us ... like You Can Take It With You or something like that. Thanks also for the sweet memories that were shared.

I think it's a wonderful idea. I have seen it done before.