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Lots of people do the binding this way. Oh, I am really glad my Mom does not sew. I am the only one in my whole family.
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Maybe you could ask her to pay the long arm quilter bill. That should wake her up!
If we all did things the same way all the time, there would only be one kind of quilt and they would all look exactly alike. How boring that would be ! ! ! |
Originally Posted by Jan in VA
Critical people are angry people. and angry people are scared people.
Scared she can't do it at all. Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything). Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts). Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough). Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out. Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing! Jan in VA You hang in there girl! |
Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent. |
Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe you need a glass of wine instead of a cup of tea!! I understand some of your frustration. When I am with my mother, my nerves get frazzled because for everything, it is her way or it is not right--and it gets me crazy!. |
I am not an expert on all this, but if you are happy with how you are doing it, continue to do what makes you happy. You are completing quilts and that is all that matters.
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Like I told you in a pm... a QUILT is a QUILT whether it's tied, hand or machine quilted. A QUILT is STILL a QUILT no matter how it's bound, and even if it's not bound at all!!
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I just pillowcased a small quilt. I have only done that once before, but after doing two bindings last week, I just didn't feel like sitting down and hand-stitching a binding. A few weeks ago, I did what you're doing and turned the backing over onto the front and stitched it down. It wasn't perfect, but I didn't care. I think whatever works for you, do it.
My mom gives me grief every time I give away a quilt. I get the "when am I going to get one" speech. It gets old. She is an artist and can turn out a painting in a few hours, so I have five or six of her oils in my house. She just doesn't get that making a quilt is MUCH more time consuming and expensive! I make mostly baby quilts and doll quilts because I just don't make the time to commit to larger projects. Not only that, she is very critical of my color choices (since she is a professional artist.) It drives me up a tree... which is probably why she doesn't own one of my quilts. I sympathize with you. I really do. |
Originally Posted by ConcreteSher
OMG--you've broken a quilting RULE?? Off to quilter's prison with you! Perhaps you could remind your mother that your quilts are your creations and you will darn well make them any way you like! The enjoyment of the hobby comes from the creative process, and once you start imposing too many rules on that process you suck the life right out of it. Are you happy with your quilts? Are the recipients?
Or, perhaps you could tell your mother that she's right, that you're going to give up quilting until you can afford to do it right . . . but that you're seriously considering becoming a stripper because not only is it a beautiful "art form" with no rules, but also so you can earn money to conform to hers! |
Every one of my grandmothers quilts that I have are done that way. Back folded to front. They are about 80 years old and are still lasting so I guess it's as secure as double binding.
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That is how my grandmothers and mom finished all of their quilts. They just couldn't stand to waste anything. Most of them have held up very well, some have had to have the bindings replaced, but that is easy enough. Don't worry about it, it isn't worth the stress.
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Originally Posted by leatheflea
Next time she opens a can of soup, corn, green beans, or cooks anything from the store, tell her shes cheating.
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Personally, I LOVE tied quilts. That's what I do most of the time.
It's sad when you know full well that no matter what you say, your mom will shoot you down. Just try to love her and pass over that. She must be an unhappy person, not knowing how to show her love for you. Sometimes the world can get you down and this makes you nervous and upset. No one knows what battle anyone else is fighting. |
Oh my goodness! They way you are finishing your quilts is perfectly wonderful, I'm so sorry that someone would be critical of your technique. So many quilts are tied and the backing folds over to finish the quilt....You just keep doing it your way and don't even bother feeling bad, you are doing a great job!!
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My quilting books show this as one of the binding choices.
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I have done lots of that way & even put them in a local show. Had no problem.
Like said in other post - it is your quilt do it the way you like. :-) :-) |
Hmmmmm......... did our grand and great grandmothers send their quilts out to long arm quilters????????
Hang in there, sweetie!! :D |
As long as you're not making the quilt for your mother - I say bind it anyway you want. <grin>
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Originally Posted by Jan in VA
Critical people are angry people. and angry people are scared people.
Scared she can't do it at all. Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything). Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts). Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough). Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out. Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing! Jan in VA But today, I'm the woman who would have asked the critical mother the last time SHE did a binding. Of course it isn't cheating, as everyone else here has said. A quilt should be warm, comforting and made with love. If you have that, you have it all. |
As far as I know there is no "cheating" in binding or any other quilting process. YOU are the artist and you have the right to do it any way you wish. We all need to keep an open mind about how we do things. I have discovered a lot of things that make quilting easier and just as good that I would never have thought of on my own. So somebody comes up with a new way to do something, great, let me try it. Some of these ideas are real winners. In binding you can use separate strips, straight of grain or bias, turn the front to the back or turn the back to the front. It's still bound and the purpose is to cover the raw edges. Quilt on!
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My mother used to say hurtful things but I learned to "rise above it". It took me a long time but I was able to let things she said just roll off...
Sometimes parents are jealous of their children especially when it comes to age. Parents can resent a child's age as they begin to grow older and become Gparents. A lot of women don't like that GC are a reality that shows they are growing older. My mom lived to be 91 and spent her last year with me. I was never the favored child and was told that almost every day. But before she died I just realized that was the way she was and wasn't going to change. I loved her anyway! My husband of 49 years was also a great help when she got a little tough...You can rise above it also. It may just take some work on your part. Good luck. Keep making quilts and smile at them as you go.... |
Not on your life is it cheating....I saw a quilt yesterday, that I made for my niece 30 yrs ago...my gr neice is using it....I did that very same thing...brought the back around to the front for a border/binding...it's still holding together.....
No quilt police on this board.... |
Nope, your choice, your Finished Quilt !!
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Wow, that's the way I learned originally to bind a quilt. I honestly thought the separate binding was "cheating"! I like both ways!
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A cup of tea will definitely help.
I am not crazy about the self binding method, as I think it is harder to do than 'regular' binding. That said, I know a lot of quilters that do self binding all the time. You are a good daughter for rising above it. One day, you may actually miss her nagging. (Really, in a hundred years, who is going to care about your binding?) Besides, you could always say, "But Mom, I can't do that binding as well as you do." |
Originally Posted by bjnicholson
Originally Posted by marymac628
Oh good grief! Eleanor Burns shows how to use the backing as binding in one of her shows (it is probably in a book too) and if she is not a real quilter then I don't know who is.
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That's how my grandmother did hers and she made at least one quilt for every child, grandchild, great-grandchild, etc. Hers were all tied and the backing was used as the binding.
Don't pay any mind to people who critisize your work! |
I do this at times and so do some of my friends. I have one friend that believes in hand quilting only and she always turns fabric from the back to the front for the binding. It is perfectly acceptable.
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it's called a self-binding. offer to teach her the method so she can finish her own quilts so when you inherit them you won't have to finish them all. don't laugh when you do this. say it with a straight face. (she'll probably get even by leaving them to strangers, but it might be worth it)
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Mama did a lot of her quilts that way. Just brought the backing around and used as the binding. It saved money then and now.
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Ugh, i have/had a mother like that as well, she was/is extremely jealous of anything i did. I say do things that way you want. Have you ever read the book "Boundaries"? Great book, changed my life!
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Whe...6980623&sr=8-1 |
There is no cheating since this isn't a test. I do that sometimes, it keeps me as warm as when I put on binding. The best advice I ever heard about mothers is "you need to accept her for who she is, not who you would like her to be", and this means that she is not someone who will say, "what a good idea, your not wasting fabric and it will look really nice" which is what she should say, if she was the supportive mother I/we strive to be. Instead she chooses to find fault, accept this is who she is, probably if you had put on binding she would have found fault with that. The important thing is YOU are enjoying yourself. Have fun. I find quilting to be great therapy.
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I would politely tell her that this is the way I am/or prefer (tying) to do my quilts.Then I also would have to say I believe you have no room to talk as you have 100's of tops that you haven't "sent out" to be quilted either! :shock:
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It is even quicker if you use the Sharon Schamber's tip and glue it with Elmer's and then stitch it with machine! Fast and Easy and looks good to boot!
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Deanna, well you ladies helped me in a situation not too long ago, and you venting is good. Mom could be a bit jealous there. and as for thhe binding, guess I am cheating too!
I thought thats what we were supposed to do! I am still a newbe , and this is a new development. I don't think its cheating, money is tight in my household and I use whatever I have on hand, even if it is the extra material to fold over our quilts be it hand sewn or machine sewn! |
Please do what pleases you. I think it is a great way to finish a quilt. I just need to learn to finish them. lol If you did the binding in the way your mother suggested it probably would not please her anyway. Quilting brings you joy so go for it.
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I agree with everyone above. I have done it both ways and like the results of both. My binding will depend on the fabric I have on hand or IF I choose to buy special. Smile and say to yourself.... you do it your way, I will do it mine. Don't want to start anything with mom, she is already in a permanent bad mood it seems. Smile it is a beautiful day, somewhere. lol
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My granddaughter says to me, "did you have fun making that? That's all that matters". Make it however you want, enjoy it, and change the tea to wine. :)
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Thank you so much for the wonderful idea on how to bind a quilt. I'm still learning so much and I haven't actually finished a quilt yet because I have been afraid of the binding process. I love my quilt tops and haven't wanted to ruin them with a poorly done binding. Now that I have read your post, I can relax a little and move on in my quilting. Your cupcakes and hot chocolate sound quite tasty. :)
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Originally Posted by Airwick156
I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent. |
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