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-   -   Did I really break my promise? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/did-i-really-break-my-promise-t106256.html)

bearisgray 03-09-2011 10:53 AM
Originally Posted by deema
Originally Posted by jillaine
Originally Posted by deema
Maybe if you'd mentioned it to him before heading to the store, he wouldn't feel like you'd broken the promise?
I think Deema nailed it. Most of our partner-woes can be boiled down to lack of or mis- communication.

And really, it doesn't matter what WE think about whether or not you broke your promise. (We're not married to you.) The key is: your spouse felt you did.

I would simply apologize, and then come to a revised agreement about what you should do if/when this situation occurs in the future.

Best to you,
Jillaine
That was my line of thinking - mis-communication. I'm glad someone saw that...I was worried some might see it as "asking permission"...which is something I never do in my marriage...but I do tell him what purchases I plan to make for the simple fact that the money is all coming and going from the same place and we should both know about it. While I don't see it as a promise broken, I can understand why he might feel that way, especially if there were not any mentioned "stipulations" to the agreed to promise (such as making a purchase to finish a project). I agree that it might be a good time to create such a stipulation, should this situation arise in the future.
I agree with these statements.

pamkasperi 03-09-2011 11:14 AM
Originally Posted by deema
Originally Posted by jillaine
Originally Posted by deema
Maybe if you'd mentioned it to him before heading to the store, he wouldn't feel like you'd broken the promise?
I think Deema nailed it. Most of our partner-woes can be boiled down to lack of or mis- communication.

And really, it doesn't matter what WE think about whether or not you broke your promise. (We're not married to you.) The key is: your spouse felt you did.

I would simply apologize, and then come to a revised agreement about what you should do if/when this situation occurs in the future.

Best to you,
Jillaine
That was my line of thinking - mis-communication. I'm glad someone saw that...I was worried some might see it as "asking permission"...which is something I never do in my marriage...but I do tell him what purchases I plan to make for the simple fact that the money is all coming and going from the same place and we should both know about it. While I don't see it as a promise broken, I can understand why he might feel that way, especially if there were not any mentioned "stipulations" to the agreed to promise (such as making a purchase to finish a project). I agree that it might be a good time to create such a stipulation, should this situation arise in the future.
Let me state for the record - this is/one of those fun "spats" we are having our 20 year anniversary on the 15th - if this is all we are arguing over we are doing great.

I bought quilt binding today - he just laughed and said "what for the WIP's and not a "new" quilt?" I said yep....then he called me a promise breaker!

pamkasperi 03-09-2011 11:15 AM
Originally Posted by SuzyQ
I don't think so. You promised to finish the WIP and you needed supplies to do it ... you didn't buy the fabric for a new project. Heck, if DH was building shelves and ran out of nails wouldn't he buy the nails to finish it? Seams like the same thing to me. :)
SuzyQ: I used this on him when I came back from Wal Mart with my quilt binding...he started cracking up laughing and said "YOU went to the quilt board with this didn't you?"

guilty!!!!

sewmuchmore 03-09-2011 12:17 PM
Just tell him that you were caught in a catch 22. You can't complete your promise until youbuy the fabric for the backing. :XD:

Kappy 03-09-2011 01:36 PM
Originally Posted by pamkasperi
Originally Posted by SuzyQ
I don't think so. You promised to finish the WIP and you needed supplies to do it ... you didn't buy the fabric for a new project. Heck, if DH was building shelves and ran out of nails wouldn't he buy the nails to finish it? Seams like the same thing to me. :)
SuzyQ: I used this on him when I came back from Wal Mart with my quilt binding...he started cracking up laughing and said "YOU went to the quilt board with this didn't you?"

guilty!!!!
Or if he started driving and he had only the steering wheel and no brakes!!!! I bet he'd fix the brakes, but it's still called driving!

pennyswings1 03-09-2011 05:43 PM
I have to agree with your daughter. You can't possibly use up all the material for the front and then find you don't have enough for the back.

GwynR 03-09-2011 05:58 PM
hmmm, i get that from my hubby sometimes. i try not to buy more really! but if you need a back or binding that does not count. i simply told him it doesn't count and that he does not need another fishing pole unless one of the fifty or more he already has breaks...... LOL

Mariposa 03-09-2011 05:58 PM
Nope, you didn't break your promise! You couldn't finish the WIP without it. Otherwise, it would still just sit as a WIP.
Tell hubby he will appreciate your thriftiness when it is done! :)

grann of 6 03-10-2011 01:56 PM
Solution: don't make promises you can't keep. I would NEVER promise to not buy more material. I might promise not to buy any more bullets (don't have a gun) but I sure would never make a promise related to sewing.

fivepaws 03-10-2011 02:15 PM
Originally Posted by Butterflyblue
Well if you needed the material to finish one of the said WIP, surely that doesn't count? Right?
I agree with you. ♥


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