Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients
 

For Christmas I was planning to have a king size quilt completed for my in-laws. This year was crazy (which they would understand why I was so busy) and I was unable to have the quilt completed. So I wrapped up the quilt top and stated I would take it back and get it quilted and returned in January. The only response the quilt top go was "It's nice". This makes is very hard for me to want to finish the quilt for them as I spent so much time and effort to make them this gift. Has this happened to others? How do you get over the lack of reaction to gifts that you spend so much time on?

If they don't quilt maybe it is hard for them to imagine the finished product. I do think this happens to all of us sooner or later. If you don't get a better reaction when you take it back to them then I wouldn't make them anything else.

That can be very disappointing ... from anybody, but your in-laws? Have you seen this attitude in them before this incident?

I made my mother-in-law a lap quilt and she loved it. The lap quilt is on a quilt rack in their living room. She has even bought me kits to make up for her. I was totally caught off guard by this because I've always been very careful to make quilts for people who understand what all goes into them.

Welcome to the Board-I wouldn't rush to give it to them if you're not sure of their reaction.

i do think it may be a reaction like sewgray suggested...lots of people simply cannot 'see' what you see when you are looking at a half done project... just complete the project, give them another chance and then if they don't seem to appreciate it, buy those 'sausage and cheese packages' next year.

Ditto on deemail and sewgray. You can post a pic for us to see, Please

You imply there are circumstances which led to you not being able to finish it, are you expecting a huge reaction from them when in fact they are not able to meet your needs right now? Just a thought?

Maybe you can apologize for your lateness, give them something 'bought' and tell them you're working on their quilt. You'll probably never hear about it again as they wanted something you had to buy anyway, by then maybe the quilt will have [choose an ending your conscience will let you live with].

Personally, I would finish it, give it, and keep my head held high.

Some people just want things which had to be bought, the dollars giving the value. Maybe the next time you visit, leave a little scrap printed from Etsy with some quilt ads with prices.

Good luck with it and welcome!

Over the years I have had "hand-made" Christmases, and have gotten a very mixed reaction. Especially to lap quilts, which are the most useful things ever! But some times I will see the wall hanging, or lap quilt, or necklace or earrings some years later, and they are liking them at least enough to display when I am at their house. I don't know why people are indifferent to quilts, but maybe it's something in their past, nothing to do with the item. Even if I dislike the colors in a quilt, it still stands for comfort to me.

I got this all the time from my mother no matter what I made for her she had to add to it or tell me where my mistakes were. Sure makes you feel not to good. Thanks for listening but I know how you feel

I would finish it, give it to them and move on to something else. Like others have said, maybe they don't understand, but even if they don't like the quilt, that doesn't mean you did the wrong thing.

I try to make quilts that make me happy - if the recipient likes it, then so much the better.

Janet

I did the same thing with my mother this Christmas. She was pretty quiet about it. She did say it was calm enough for her to look at it since it was only two colors (too my colors and crazy patterns gives her headaches) Any one else who saw it loved it and said what a lot of work it too to just get to this point.

On the other hand I gave my mil a quilt about 4 years ago and I have only seen it on her bed once.

quilts always look different when they are (completed) you will get a (bigger) response when it is all finished---when it is just a top Non-quilters seldom see what you see.
don't dispair---
and remember it is in the giving-that is the importance- if you are doing it for a response you will always be disappointed. if that should happen again prehaps just take a picture of the top- and put it in a card saying---not quite done yet- will be coming soon---they may be a little more (enthused) in their response=== non=quilters have no idea what really goes into making one- and seeing an unfinished top seldom impresses.
finish the quilt and give it as planned-

I agree it is very disappointing when you give the gift of a quilt and the receipient doesn't seem to really appreciate what they have. I gave 11 quilts with coordinating pillowcase this Christmas and received 3 heartfelt thank you's. As I get older I have begun to realize that I can't place my expectations on others. I loved the process of making quilts and give a lot of time, energy, money and heart into each creation. My husband, it totally supportive and the above mentioned quilts were for his family and he loved what I could create for them. I told everyone that received a quilt that unless they had babies there would be no more quilts forth coming.

I know how you feel. I have given to those that just say thank you, fold them up, put them in the closet and never to be seen again. Maybe the choice of fabric or color wasn't right, I don't know. I just know I won't make them another.

Since you said that you have given them a lap quilt and they liked it and display it, I would expect they will like the new one too. You may have caught them off-guard because it wasn't finished but I would trust their previous behavior and give it to them when finished.

Finish it for them. They may have been disappointed that they did not receive a finished gift (even if they understood the circumstances). Often when a person receives an unfinished gift (even if the giver intends to finish it), there can be hard feelings of unworthiness.

I made 12 large lap quilts for friends and family children for Christmas. All the children old enough to appreciate them were very vocal about their quilt, except for a 15 yr old girl.(employee's daughter) Her mother actually picked out the fabric and the design. I gave to mom to give to daughter and had to ask if she liked it. Yes, she did. The daughter came in with her mother to my work today and I didn't even get a thank you from her. I have one on my design wall right now for her brother, who works part time with us, and I don't know if I want to make it or not.

15 year olds are notorious for this kind of behavior - she may love it, but find it hard to express thanks.

Then, too, her Mom picked out the colors and so on, so the quilt might be what Mom THINKS she likes, not what SHE likes. Mom's are notorious for that kind of behavior! (LOL)

Before making her brother a quilt, ask him if he wants you to and what he'd like. You have a much better chance of making a quilt he likes since you know him.

Once , I made a wall hanging for my SIL ..... I went to her house to feed cat while she was on vacation .... found it IN the cat box ..... could have been one of the kids , granted , but she got beef sticks from then on ..... I never said a word to her , and now we dont get along so much .......just different people !!

You made it with love; you gifted it with love; and you will complete it with love. They know that (smile); what else is there. You are very fortunate to having in-laws who do understand the work (you said you had made other things she loved) that you put into your gifts. Rejoice in having them :-).

You never know how people will react to a gift. You made it for them and yes, their reaction is disappointing. But it is not done and there is a big difference between a quilt top and a finished quilt. I would get the quilt done and give it to them. Take some pics of the quilt that you have made and enjoy it for yourself. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done and be sure and post the pics on this board for more love and hugs. If their response to the finished quilt is not what you would like, make sure you give them no more quilted items. It's just them, not YOU. Hugs to you.

I have has a similar reaction several times. It has made me very reluctant to give quilts as gifts. Lately I have been offering to make quilts if they select the fabric and pattern. Then they have input, and if they don't like the results, well, it is what they picked out. So far (based on 7 quilts) this has worked well for me. Plus, they certainly appreciate the money involved, when they bought the fabric. :) Well, okay, I bought the fabric for two of them. One was for my SIL, and the other was for a life-time friend. The others were quilts for friends from work, friends, but not run-around-with friends.

sometimes, I've shown someone a top and received a mediocre response. THen, when they see the finished quilt, they can't believe it was the one they saw partly done. So, I am agreeing with those wise women before me. I say finish it and gift it. You imbued it with love for them and it--the quilt-- won't feel right being not with them IMHO

They may have been very disappointed that it was not done and they could not take it home. If you think about it, you open this lovely gift only to find it incomplete and now you have to wait even longer to enjoy it. Would bum me out. I think the only solution is, hurry up and finish it so they can take possession!

I have had varied responses to my quilted gifts over the years. It can be hurtful to realize the person you took time out to make this gift for may not have any idea the time , money , and effort that goes into the gift. If I were you I would try to finish and deliver the gift. If you don't get the reaction you are expecting at that point - it may be time to cross them off the list for homemade gifts in future. It would be their loss not yours - chalk it up to experience. Would love to see a pic posted if have one! Try not to let this one experience discourage you!!

The people in my family don't like or appreciate them for gifts, except my mom who is a quilter, so I don't give them anymore. I make them and keep them for myself. In my will my quilts are to go to charities or be sold and the money given to charity. I don't sweat it anymore. If you don't quilt, you don't appreciate the time and effort that goes into the making of a quilt. So don't feel bad, you're not alone.

Finish it , give it and forget it. Next year get her something at Target....say, a lovely non loving crockpot.

People in day in time are not raised up correctly,by the Grace of GOD they grow up phyically sppeaking but not raised up.I am sorry they didn't show more interest.I sure would have I have only 2 quilts from other people one is now in heaven and the other is from a 78 year older lady.I love them both.

once you've given a gift it's like a freed bird. it's gone. they are now responsible for it and how they use it or appreciate it is up to them. your love is still in it, if they don't have the ability to feel it, that is their shortcoming. but you have to let it go once you've given it. i would not be surprised if they fell all over it when it's done and loved it. it's hard to understand what people are thinking during christmas. i just don't try. i send the gift and hope for the best. finish it, give it, and someone will recognise it's worth and warmth!

I don't give them anything else I've made. Its their loss if they can't appreciate the time and effort, and the amount of money that goes into making a quilt. Next time buy them one of those quilts from China that will fall apart the first time they wash it. Maybe that will make them happy. Do I sound a little bitter? You betcha! It's happened to me too many times.

Maybe they didn't understand that the quilt wasn't finished. Communications during gift giving gets confusing. Gift giving is really hard on the giver when lots of time, effort, thought, expense and love are put into a gift. Some recipients have a hard time receiving such a wonderful gift, some recipients just don't know how to be thankful, and the gift giver feels hurt. Alot of us on QB have been through this reaction, take the quilt back, finish it, put a loving label on it and let it go. You did an awesome thing by making a king size quilt, I wish you were my daughter in law.

I know a gift is supposed to be from the heart - but we are human and sometimes get heartaches in return...

A number of years ago my in-laws (now former) response to the quilt I'd slaved over for them was, "A blanket." & it was tossed aside. Never made anything else for them!

Yes it has even with a finished quilt. That person in my family will not be the recipient of any more. There are others that really do love what I've given them. Finish the quilt, give it to them, and know in your heart you did a really nice thing.

Each stich is planned. and.. anyone can pick up a J C Pennys catalogu and get beautiful creations for 150 dollars .

So, it is hard not to take it personal. so sorry. "it's nice" is not the WOW factor youd wished for. :(