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Thread: Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients

  1. #1
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    Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients

    For Christmas I was planning to have a king size quilt completed for my in-laws. This year was crazy (which they would understand why I was so busy) and I was unable to have the quilt completed. So I wrapped up the quilt top and stated I would take it back and get it quilted and returned in January. The only response the quilt top go was "It's nice". This makes is very hard for me to want to finish the quilt for them as I spent so much time and effort to make them this gift. Has this happened to others? How do you get over the lack of reaction to gifts that you spend so much time on?

  2. #2
    Senior Member sewgray's Avatar
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    If they don't quilt maybe it is hard for them to imagine the finished product. I do think this happens to all of us sooner or later. If you don't get a better reaction when you take it back to them then I wouldn't make them anything else.
    Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

  3. #3
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    That can be very disappointing ... from anybody, but your in-laws? Have you seen this attitude in them before this incident?
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  4. #4
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    I made my mother-in-law a lap quilt and she loved it. The lap quilt is on a quilt rack in their living room. She has even bought me kits to make up for her. I was totally caught off guard by this because I've always been very careful to make quilts for people who understand what all goes into them.

  5. #5
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    Welcome to the Board-I wouldn't rush to give it to them if you're not sure of their reaction.
    Liz Fairlie

  6. #6
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    i do think it may be a reaction like sewgray suggested...lots of people simply cannot 'see' what you see when you are looking at a half done project... just complete the project, give them another chance and then if they don't seem to appreciate it, buy those 'sausage and cheese packages' next year.

  7. #7
    Super Member valleyquiltermo's Avatar
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    Ditto on deemail and sewgray. You can post a pic for us to see, Please
    http://www.skillpages.com/DonnaValleyquiltermo
    Sweet Dreams come from under Cozy Quilts made with love.
    Life is short, take time to enjoy it. Play with your kids and g-kids,
    and do what you can for others.

  8. #8
    Super Member Grandma58's Avatar
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    You imply there are circumstances which led to you not being able to finish it, are you expecting a huge reaction from them when in fact they are not able to meet your needs right now? Just a thought?

  9. #9
    Super Member SueSew's Avatar
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    Maybe you can apologize for your lateness, give them something 'bought' and tell them you're working on their quilt. You'll probably never hear about it again as they wanted something you had to buy anyway, by then maybe the quilt will have [choose an ending your conscience will let you live with].

    Personally, I would finish it, give it, and keep my head held high.

    Some people just want things which had to be bought, the dollars giving the value. Maybe the next time you visit, leave a little scrap printed from Etsy with some quilt ads with prices.

    Good luck with it and welcome!
    SueSew
    "If it's messy, eat it over the sink!" Mom

  10. #10
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    Over the years I have had "hand-made" Christmases, and have gotten a very mixed reaction. Especially to lap quilts, which are the most useful things ever! But some times I will see the wall hanging, or lap quilt, or necklace or earrings some years later, and they are liking them at least enough to display when I am at their house. I don't know why people are indifferent to quilts, but maybe it's something in their past, nothing to do with the item. Even if I dislike the colors in a quilt, it still stands for comfort to me.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Earleen's Avatar
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    I got this all the time from my mother no matter what I made for her she had to add to it or tell me where my mistakes were. Sure makes you feel not to good. Thanks for listening but I know how you feel
    Earleen The best helping hand is at the end of your arm.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Hinterland's Avatar
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    I would finish it, give it to them and move on to something else. Like others have said, maybe they don't understand, but even if they don't like the quilt, that doesn't mean you did the wrong thing.

    I try to make quilts that make me happy - if the recipient likes it, then so much the better.

    Janet

  13. #13
    Super Member TerryQuilter's Avatar
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    I have only had one person send me negative vibes. It was my soon to be DIL. So I gave the quilt to someone else! I did make a huge rag quilt for her and my son after they were married, and she loved it (have also made quilts for each of their 4 children). This year I made a quilt for a very good friend's Father, because he is always cold, and he loved it. She sent me a picture of him and his quilt and he had huge smile on his face! He sent me roses to thank me. Love it when I am appreciated for my "talent".
    The Trike Riding Quilting Diva

  14. #14
    Senior Member donac's Avatar
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    I did the same thing with my mother this Christmas. She was pretty quiet about it. She did say it was calm enough for her to look at it since it was only two colors (too my colors and crazy patterns gives her headaches) Any one else who saw it loved it and said what a lot of work it too to just get to this point.

    On the other hand I gave my mil a quilt about 4 years ago and I have only seen it on her bed once.

  15. #15
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    It is disappointing when a gift that you work hard on is not appreciated. We make quilts and think of all the time, love, money and effort that goes into them. Some people see a quilt and think oh, nice blanket. There is not changing them, so just complete their quilt and move on. Move their name to the list of people who are not "quilt worthy".

  16. #16
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    quilts always look different when they are (completed) you will get a (bigger) response when it is all finished---when it is just a top Non-quilters seldom see what you see.
    don't dispair---
    and remember it is in the giving-that is the importance- if you are doing it for a response you will always be disappointed. if that should happen again prehaps just take a picture of the top- and put it in a card saying---not quite done yet- will be coming soon---they may be a little more (enthused) in their response=== non=quilters have no idea what really goes into making one- and seeing an unfinished top seldom impresses.
    finish the quilt and give it as planned-
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  17. #17
    Super Member carslo's Avatar
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    I agree it is very disappointing when you give the gift of a quilt and the receipient doesn't seem to really appreciate what they have. I gave 11 quilts with coordinating pillowcase this Christmas and received 3 heartfelt thank you's. As I get older I have begun to realize that I can't place my expectations on others. I loved the process of making quilts and give a lot of time, energy, money and heart into each creation. My husband, it totally supportive and the above mentioned quilts were for his family and he loved what I could create for them. I told everyone that received a quilt that unless they had babies there would be no more quilts forth coming.
    A bed without a quilt is like the night sky without stars.

    http://californiaquilting.blogspot.com/

  18. #18
    Super Member jmabby's Avatar
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    I know how you feel. I have given to those that just say thank you, fold them up, put them in the closet and never to be seen again. Maybe the choice of fabric or color wasn't right, I don't know. I just know I won't make them another.

  19. #19
    Super Member dublb's Avatar
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    Some people aren't very expressive. Any gifts given to my DH or DSonIL are always smiled on & a nice polite "that's nice" will be heard. Finish their quilt & enjoy the process. Their reaction isn't important.
    Bev
    My initials are BB, so dublb is double B.

  20. #20
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    Since you said that you have given them a lap quilt and they liked it and display it, I would expect they will like the new one too. You may have caught them off-guard because it wasn't finished but I would trust their previous behavior and give it to them when finished.
    I'd rather be at the lake

    Do one thing every day that scares you... Eleanor Roosevelt

  21. #21
    Senior Member qbquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smm06 View Post
    For Christmas I was planning to have a king size quilt completed for my in-laws. This year was crazy (which they would understand why I was so busy) and I was unable to have the quilt completed. So I wrapped up the quilt top and stated I would take it back and get it quilted and returned in January. The only response the quilt top go was "It's nice". This makes is very hard for me to want to finish the quilt for them as I spent so much time and effort to make them this gift. Has this happened to others? How do you get over the lack of reaction to gifts that you spend so much time on?
    Finish it for them. They may have been disappointed that they did not receive a finished gift (even if they understood the circumstances). Often when a person receives an unfinished gift (even if the giver intends to finish it), there can be hard feelings of unworthiness.

  22. #22
    Senior Member sandraa's Avatar
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    I made 12 large lap quilts for friends and family children for Christmas. All the children old enough to appreciate them were very vocal about their quilt, except for a 15 yr old girl.(employee's daughter) Her mother actually picked out the fabric and the design. I gave to mom to give to daughter and had to ask if she liked it. Yes, she did. The daughter came in with her mother to my work today and I didn't even get a thank you from her. I have one on my design wall right now for her brother, who works part time with us, and I don't know if I want to make it or not.

  23. #23
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    15 year olds are notorious for this kind of behavior - she may love it, but find it hard to express thanks.

    Then, too, her Mom picked out the colors and so on, so the quilt might be what Mom THINKS she likes, not what SHE likes. Mom's are notorious for that kind of behavior! (LOL)

    Before making her brother a quilt, ask him if he wants you to and what he'd like. You have a much better chance of making a quilt he likes since you know him.

  24. #24
    Senior Member miz mary's Avatar
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    Once , I made a wall hanging for my SIL ..... I went to her house to feed cat while she was on vacation .... found it IN the cat box ..... could have been one of the kids , granted , but she got beef sticks from then on ..... I never said a word to her , and now we dont get along so much .......just different people !!

  25. #25
    Super Member Murphy's Avatar
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    You made it with love; you gifted it with love; and you will complete it with love. They know that (smile); what else is there. You are very fortunate to having in-laws who do understand the work (you said you had made other things she loved) that you put into your gifts. Rejoice in having them :-).
    Desiderata (Max Ehrmann) - Walk placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

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