Hi guys, yes I am a male quilter, have any of you ever had this problem?? being a guy quilter in a woman dominated area has its draw backs. they kinda freaked out on me when I asked for help. I am a retired happily married man who just happens to love to quilt. SIGH then WHY do I get the feeling that when I go into a quilt shop unless I spend money there I am not wanted??? I asked for help (on a one on one basis) they could not be bothered to help I have been doing basic quilting for a number of years untill recently. Now I want to Improve my skills,

I even offered to have my wife sit in on the sessions. nope not intrested not for any price. SIGH I just want to quilt.

SOOOOOOOOO I am putting out a call here for any male quilters in my area that have advanced skill levels for help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No No No I am not putting women down.


Yours in Quilting
Chris

I know there have been some issues with at least one other male quilter on our board being refused admittance to certain guilds. It's ridiculous!

Even if no one is close by, you'd be surprised at what this board can accomplish via the internet. If you have a specific question, ask it. Someone will be able to explain it.

Chris there is a world of help here - use the tutes and ask many questions :lol:

My friend doesn't quilt but wants to learn and he goes with me to the fabric stores and LQS and they all treat him great , sorry you are running into this problem .

I am sorry you have this problem. Speak up here and ask questions. I know you will get a lot of help.

thank you

I need to have a sit down side by side with people... I was injured several years ago. the meds I am forced to take (due to injury) have interfered with my ability to take written directions and make sense of them. sigh and to think I was a very smart man before my injury

Chris

Where are these quilt shops in Indiana that won't help you out? PM me and I may be able to direct you to a couple of shops that seem very friendly shops to me.

I can understand not wanting to be alone in a room with a man who you don't know, just dangerous for women, but when you said you would have your wife sit in, that is just unfair. I am sorry that you are having a problem. like others have said, ask questions here and you will get answers. and pics always help. I hope you find a local board member who can help in person. there is no substitute for getting one on one in person help. Good luck and please ask questions here. we will never ignore you just because you are a guy. it is actually nice to see hubbies and other guys who get interested in quilting. gives us a whole new perspective on quilting.

Hi, Chris

I'm glad to know that you are quilter. My husband (now passed) used to do a lot of needlepoint work. I have his works all over the house. It was neat to see him at work. In the later years, when he went to dialysis three times a week, he used to take his needlepoint with him. I would love to see the looks on others faces as they watched him with his needle. I always wanted to ask them 'where was it written that only females do needlework'? So, from my perspective, I'm very glad to have you among the quilters of the world.

As for the LQS, there is one here in town that when I have been there, I've been treated just as you describe, even though I am a typical-looking female quilter. Perhaps it's just that the particular LQS has really bad customer service and it doesn't matter if your male or female.

Revel in your skills, and don't let boorish clerks dampen your spirits. I appreciate having you on this board.

Chris, I know exactly how you feel. I was a female in a mostly male job (long haul trucker). I had trouble getting waited on at truck stops. The receivers treated me like dirt. My dispatcher would give me problems talking down to me. I just smiled and tried to do my job. I agree you can get help here. Ask questions and get involved in some of the swaps. The round robin I'm in has certainly stretched my skills. We are here and happy to help.:)

thank you it was not just here in indy... I lived in new england until winter of 09.. had same problem there.

Mostly people in indy are REAL friendly. not like it in new england it was dog eat dog there

Chris, just sign up for a class , pay your fee in advance and show up. They never say women only allowed when you register, and I'd bet the other students would welcome you. And if the instructor wanted to ignor you, the quilters there wouldnn't!!

Chris, that's terrible! It seems to me that many years ago most tailors were MEN!! What happened to people??? I think quilting is great for anyone who wants to do it.
Good luck, my friend :)
You know we are all here for you!

Chris: Sign on to the Yahoo Group. Introduce yourself and make some comments about what you do. I don't know if there are others in the group from Indiana.
I had a male quilter group here in the area for awhile. It started out great but eventually dwindled down into uncertain attendance. However, there are two shops in the are that have male groups. I don't know what the attendance is.
When I started the one here, One of the local papers did a good article. Get on the Yahoo group and start asking questions and others will tell you of their experience.
I would suggest you go to the shop and ask for a private lesson to get started. (if they will do that)
How close to you from Indianapolis?

they freaked out had to bring wife along to get em to calm down!!!!!! she is very anti quilting, tolerates it cause I do it. was bored outa her mind

Yes, do this. Also maybe sign up for classes at the big quilt shows. Please don't be discouraged and keep quilting. I am raising many new male quilters at my home and DH keeps coming around in my sturio too. As for being ignored, I have that too sometimes even in classes. The same with some quilt shops. I hope you can find a good suport net work and environment to share and learn in.

Sorry, for your trouble Chris. I am not a male. However, I am a young quilter, 27. And I often feel the same way. I don't really feel welcomed by most of my guild (only a couple people) and some shops the workers just look at me as a pesky little kid (I look younger than 27). The shop closest to my house I think is the best. They actively try and recruit young people and men. Everytime a young person comes in or a man they want to help as much as possible. They never assume the men are there because the wife is the quilter, unless the man sits on the couch and has that glazed over look-haha. I was there the other day and a man came in with his wife, his wife sat on the couch and the husband started looking around. The owner asked if he needed help and he was surprised-he said he brought his wife as back-up because he's never offered help.

Dang what's wrong with people? Maybe it is just this shop. I am in a female dominent profession(nursing) and usually when there is a male nurse/tech/clerk whatever, the females get silly and baby them. My son recently out of the USMC started working on another floor at the same hospital I work ,he is like the star of the floor lol, I get after the girls all the time to not cut him any slack.
I don't know what is wrong with people, I was in a LQS a week or so ago and the shop "female" was out on errands. The shop females' husband was the buyer for all the fabric in the shop and LOVED helping customers pick out fabric. He shared with me how so many of the women will leave rather than talk to him about fabric, patterns etc. Well let me tell you that this man talked to me more and was more helpful than any other shop I had ever been in.
Come on ladies,you want equality? it is a two way street, and would I be scared to be alone with a male while sewing? HA! never, This girl carries!lol
Although it could happen I really don't think sereal killers hang out at the local quilt shops girls ROFL.

PS
Eaglebeak has always been my dads nicname for my mom.lol,long story .....

That is crazy, the President of our Guild is a man.

My dh has type 2 diabetes. He enjoys getting pedicures. The doctors told him he had to take good care of his feet. Well, I don't wanna touch those ugly feet!

I finally talked him in to getting a pedicure. Now mind you, my husband is 6' tall, a good 230 pounds and a long haul truck driver. But, he looks like Ozzy Osbourne! Yes, he even paints his toenails and fingernails black!

Anyways, we went to a shop and the women working there got bug eyed quick! They were nice and friendly, but you know they were making comments in their language! I often wonder what was said! LOL

This was like 3 years ago. When we go to get pedicures now, there are signs on the doors that say "gentlemen welcomed".

Don't give up! Not all quilters are old, gray haired ladies! Some of us are young enough to accept the differnces in people and would love to learn what you have to offer in a class room setting. I bet you have a lot to say that would be welcomed to many women.

Keep smiling and keep going!

There are lots of quilting videos on U-tube also that can help you in the meantime until you find someone to help in person.

welcome to the club.

Hate to hear that, but have had it done to me in different venus. You might point it out to the owner, nicely, they may not realize it's happening ! Can always ask if know of someone that will give private lessons, or a Guild where you would be welcome, or has other male members. Course can hang out here :)

You might also ask if they have ever heard of discrimination laws!

I understand completely. I own a quiltshop and when someone calls that wants info on the shop, having a man answer freeks them out. I've had woman say, can I speak to a woman.

I may not be a quilter, my late wife was, but I can pick fabric out with the best of them.

Lets face it, we're a minority in this business, but I've seen some very good work done by men.

Men are always welcome in my shop, we even have what we call the husband chair for them to sit in.

Lanny

My DH is not a quilter but he is my color coordinator and has picked up quite a bit of knowledge. He loves to go to the LQS and is generally well received. I'm not sure what he would do if some bitty were to disrespect him.

Sorry that has happened to you. Not sure if this will help, but you will find tons of help from us on the QB.

luckily our local guild has a number of men members and so does a little local sewing/quilting group i used to be able to go to. some of the 'stereo-typing is so STUPID! if those...(know-it-alls) knew anything they would know that WOMEN are the (new to the world of textiles) people...if you look at history...for centuries MEN ruled the textile world...and in lots of ways still do...men were the taylors, designers, cobblers...and still ... have they not heard of KAFFE ?
women are the ones who should be so jealous of this fabulous craft that the men in the world are willing to share with us :mrgreen:
i have 2 sons and a nephew who are quilters...they are so very creative...push me way out of my comfort zone and are the greatest at putting together collections.
My hubby experienced something along the lines of your experience. at a local shop, the store owner was so rude and made him feel like she had no interest in his money...he went to a smaller (and closer) shop where they treat him like he's KING! don't give up because of one shop that is so ignorant they don't even know how much money they are turning away. there are lots of other shops out there willing to help anyone if they ask...regardless of gender or age (and yes, it's not just men who are treated like crap at quilt shops...my nephew's girlfriend a few years ago (was 17 at the time) was almost chased out of a shop (the one my hubby will not go to anymore)...she was treated like she had no business being there, and her questions were responded to so rudely that she left, and called me crying...now she had to drive an extra 40 miles to get what she needed...
kind of makes you wonder how they stay in business

oops...almost posted it twice ;)

Chris, Check out the Indiana Modern Quilt Guild: http://indymqg.ning.com

Let them know Yolanda from the Orange County Modern Quilt Guild sent you - I am sure you will learn a lot and have a lot of fun with this group :-)

And you always have us here on the Board to virtually help.

OMG ROFLOL

I needed that!!!

I get wierd looks except at the local JoAnnes... I want to thank all of you for the messages.. sometimes it just gets hard to take.. I am a friendly person...

my wife hates to quit... but will be my color coordinator/fabric coordinator she says I have lousy matching skills.... she is a great crafter just not a quilt person...

I so wish we lived closer, as I'd be tickled pink to share with you what I know and love to do, which is quilting. It would not be a problem what gender, or color,how young or old you are i just love to quilt and share what I know. Maybe even learn together some new things, how great would that be!!? I do hope you can find an open minded persone to share and learn with.

Thank you Leaha... open mindedness is greatly appreciated

Have you tried watching tutorials on youtube? Maybe if you needed help on something in particular, somebody here on the board would be willing to make a video tutorial for you. In fact, I've been wishing someone would do that anyhow!

True I do watch the videos

Missouri quilt shop company Vids are great... I have learned for em...

the problems I am having just need a one on one hands on to solve...

Hi Chris I am a piecer and a longarmer and I also have injuries and meds. Mine via morphine pump. I sure do know all about the not wanted part. even got a taste of it the last quilt show I atteneded. We will get better as soon as more men start showing thier works of art. yes art. Quilting is a form of folkart. Some have also turned it in to highy prized displays of fabric arts. I dont know anyone who is close by you but I will defiately hold my ear to a telephone or eyes to a computer to help you. Just let me know. Welcome to the board.

thank you stew

The quilt stores around here love it when my husband goes in with me. He is a "pusher"! as in "Look! isn't this the sort of yellow batik you were looking for?" etc.

He isn't himself a quilter, but he was forced by his loving wife to help her figure out what was wrong with a section of an art quilt, or which color would go best with...., etc., and now he is quick and extremely insightful with his opinions.

OK, he's not a quilter, but the gals at our local store could be caught smiling at him as he milled about. Send anoumously (...opphs "non-spellers unite!") copies of all these responses to them. Maybe they'll wake up and quit discriminating.

At one of my LQS they have a male teacher who is a very popular male quilter. His BOM's and classes are well attended... I hope that you find a niche in your area soon :D:D:D

So sorry this is happening to you. I think it is great when a man works on things that are usully considered in a woman's world. My dad used to cross stitch and he did a much better job than I did. When I was in high school, a 100 years ago, I wanted to take Shop, but that was the "boys world". But that didn't stop me from building a lot of things. So you just keep hanging in there and I would go back to the LQS and tell them, I am serious about taking this class, this is discrimination, so when does the class start!!!!!