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My advice is forge ahead. Frankly, no matter how close the relationship, there are things better left unsaid and those remarks qualify in my book. Just because she doesn't "get it" doesn't mean there aren't others who do. If you are experiencing self doubts about their worth, then join a guild and enhance your craft till you have no self doubts. Just don't put yourself down!!
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You love what you are doing, it is something you get a great deal of joy doing, they are all pretty when finished, there are people in this world who would love having something so lovely made by a person who puts her love into making a quilt. If someone "doesn't get it" thats OK too. It's not necessary for someone else to understand what you do, why you do it, and how much you love doing it. If you are not neglecting your health, home and security it's not you with a problem. I don't know what my two children will do with all of my hand made items, and thats not my worry, I have enjoyed my entire life making something that gave me joy. Maybe your daughter needs to find something to keep her busy not the other way around. I find my children think they know so much better than I what is good for me, but ultimately these choices are mine alone. Love your daughter, let her know you love her and then ask her to help you make a few rounds and give some of these lovely quilts to people who might need to feel your love as well. Quilts are made with love and are meant to be shared with family, friends and those who need to feel our love as well. Lastly, finish your baby quilt and I am sure God will place someone in your path who will need this quilt and will appreciate all the time and effort you will have put into it. I wish you nothing but the very best as you continue painting your life's canvas with lovely quilts.
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By the time I got to this thread there were already 9 pages full of very good advise. So I can't add any more, but I'm running out of people to give to as well, but I do not intend to stop quilting. I love it, there are people who are so much better at it, but it gives me great pleasure, and if my family doesn't want my quilts after I'm gone. I won't know about it anyway. Non-quilters may not understand how we feel about quilting. So just keep on quilting.
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Our church participates in a national quilt ministry called "Prayers and Squares" which has chapters just about everywhere. These quilting groups are always in need of volunteer quilters. The quilts are distributed to people of all ages and religions who need and agree to accept prayers and comfort from our congregation. Downy Touch of Comfort Quilts for Kids is another worthy project and they will even supply the kit for you to sew. There are many battered women's shelters that would also be happy to distribute quilts to their residents who usually come to them with very few comforts of home. However, if you just want to quilt for the love of quilting with no particular plans for the quilts you make, that's OK too. Your daughter will eventually understand and appreciate your need to quilt especially if you explain to her why it is important to you.
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Quilt because you love it! You don't have to agree with your daughter all the time. If your afraid of what will happen to your quilts look for recipents for them now. Local women's shelters, hospitals, nursing homes--I once heard of a habitat for humanity group that likes to give everyone in the family a quilt to start out in there new home. There are many places your quilts would be well received. Our local Riley hospital for children give a blanket/quilt to each patient-Keep on quilting! Enjoy!
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keep on doing what you like. i have a son & daughter. i was showing off one of my BOM quilts to them and the son said 'i'd put it on e-bay'. my dtr would keep it for ever. who do you think i'll leave it to? also my two granddaughters (hers) are always fussing at me to quit giving my quilts away & save 'em for them. different strokes for different folks. one thing: maybe you need to cut back on the expensive mat'l & then give all your quilts away to charities, etc. most people don't know the difference between expensive/non-expensive material.
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Keep doing what you love:) There are a lot of great suggestions to your dilemma that the ladies have come up with. Donating to non-profits or having a quilt sale are wonerful ideas. There are many people out there who appreciate quilts. There can never be too many quilts in the world :P
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There are some who think reading a book is a waste of time, or collecting things that only give you pleasure. My DD thinks I have too many books and things I made from hobbies and says right out, she don't know what she will do to get rid of them. Too bad. I love every scrap of fabric, every bare piece of china that never got painted and every book I own but getting rid of it will be her problem. I plan to keep on doing what I like to do, keeps me alive and kicking.
No grandchildren, nieces, nephews, good friends or a church to give them to? Keep your eyes and ears open, there are many who will cherish your work, don't quit now and do stop feeling bad about your work. You earned the money and you can spend it, that is what I tell my family, live with it. Carol J. |
To each his/her own...I don't get football, but look at all of the time, energy, and certainly big bucks some pay for that!!!
Life is short...do what you enjoy now, and let others worry what to do with the quilts you don't have anyone to give them to when you're gone...perhaps by that time your daughter will have a change of heart or maybe even be bitten by the quilting bug herself...Naomi :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: |
Sorry your daughter feels that way. You donate the quilts all or part to hospital especially to children. They always lot a quilt to hold on too. I have 10 grandchildren and am always quilting and they all want my quilts. In fact I made 10 quilt tops just for them and they could not be prouder. They range from age 12 to 1 1/2 and even my children love them and in-laws. By all means they are not perfect and most are made, 99%, made from scraps. They are all very proud of them. Pick up your heart and know that there are people would love to have them. How about the nursing home? I know people would love them especially since you made them from your heart. Hang in there.
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Sometimes "generations" are skipped for "various genes," interests, etc.
So some day a grandchild or special niece or nephew, may cherish these quilts. I have my grandmother's log cabin quilt that she made by hand. Her hands were barely able to hold a needle and thread. Nothing is perfect but I love this quilt. I am the granddaughter. My children could care less about anything I do or have. It will be someone else. If not someone in my family, then someone will enjoy my work. I think when I look at quilts at shows and museums, I find so much enjoyment. It gives me pleasure. Many of the quilters are long gone and no one even knows the name but their work moves on through the generations; some quilted for comfort and did not think of joyment or that others would look at the quilt as an art form. We never know how our threads will move others. Be true to yourself. It is not wise to try to "please others." I am very old to be just learning this lesson. It comes hard to please myself. Not to take words personally. I think how many words I have said that I did not intentionally say to hurt someone but I did. I wish I could pull those words back. We all grow at different stages and times. I think of how much I have changed through the years, crafts I no longer want to do. I have noticed the books, magazines, fabric that no longer appeal to me. I keep evolving. So will your daughter. |
No, no, no! You are not being selfish!
There are many programs out there that would be delighted to receive your quilts: Project Linus, nursing homes, shut ins, disaster relief agencies, chemotherapy units, women's shelters, men's shelters, children's hospitals, firefighters and police officers for wrapping children in love when there has been an accident or fire, just to name a few! Do not stop quilting! God has given you this gift for a reason, you need to use it! And, we are our own worst critics. I'm willing to bet your quilts are a lot better quality than you think. They may not be 'works of art' but they are a 'work of the heart' and your love transfers to those who can snuggle under your creations. Peggy in Fla |
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Originally Posted by noveltyjunkie
It sounds like there is more to this story than you are sharing here. Unless your quilting habit is getting you into debt, causing you to neglect your friends, skip meals, or filling up your house to an unreasonable degree, I'd keep right on!
A picture of some of my too much stuff and if I could get another set of shelves in the room believe me I would. [ATTACH=CONFIG]113133[/ATTACH] |
I disagree with your daughter also. I love to quilt, it is my therapy, and while I haven't reached the point yet where I've run out of people to make quilts for, when and if I do, I would definitely turn to charities and to our soldiers and to those in need as places to send my quilts. If they enjoy using my quilts even only a little, it is enough for me to know that they are out there providing some source of comfort. Please don't succumb to what your daughter thinks ... keep on quiltin'!!
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I love making childrens quilts. The majority go to Project Linus, and not only the children appreciate them, the parents do--we often get notes saying how the quilt gave them comfort knowing someone cared about their child during the child's sickness. I also make childrens quilts for neighbors. Both my next door neighbor and the neighbor across the street became grandparents for the first time and I made them quilts for the little ones. That made a bond between us--they bring the grandbabies over for me to see--I have a new relationship with my neighbors. I also make a baby quilt for the people I work with either as a new parent or a new grandparent. I love the childrens fabric--so adorable, so this gives me a creative outlet I hope I can do till I'm gone. Keep on making those quilts!
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This is a passion and that is not to be wasted. So there are many things you could do.
1. The quilt sale in time for Christmas is a great ideal 2. Project Linus is an excellent ideal 3. Contact a local church and see if they have a community outreach. 4. Contact children hospital they love quilts for them. 5. Local hospital chemo patient There are so many things that you can do. And be a blessing to others at the same time. So here, to your passion! Go for it, enjoy it weather you sell them or give them way. You are in the driver seat , whatever you choose it will be your choice. :thumbup: :thumbup: |
It sounds like you're a typical mother. We spend all our time trying to please kids, husband, parents, etc. Why not look at yourself and see what pleases YOU. I've only been quilting a few months (hand not machine) and I find it very relaxing. DH loves to play golf and he finds that relaxing and enjoyable. It also can be expensive--green fees, cart fees, the latest club that will make his balls go straighter and longer. I wouldn't dream of asking him to give that up and he fully supports my relaxation of quilting. Yes, it can be expensive but there are always sales to take advantage of. Just keep on quilting and enjoy what you're doing.
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OMgosh, hospitals, orphanages, homes for the elderly.
Bet they would be so grateful to get them. |
Hmmm... Why on earth would someone take a chunk of marble, a chisel and hammer, and pound away to make a sculpture that is just stuck in the Vatican for people to look at? (the pieta). Why would a guy lie on his back to paint pictures on a ceiling just for people to look at? (Sistine Chapel) Van Gogh painted how many swirly pictures? You get the point. If everyone saw creativity as a waste of time, look what we would miss.
Art is art. It brings beauty and happiness to the creator, the Creator, and everyone else. Keep quilting. :-D |
I really feel fo you for I think too mny women think they can't have just the simple pleasure of doing something. We don't have to be doing something for others all the time and should value ourselves enough to do something we just plain want to/like to. No person should feel guilty for creating something they enjoy. I too have been too hard on myself too many times and now trying very hard to just do something I enjoy doing.....which is quilting. That beautiful baby quilt may someday warm a grandchild or another baby who needs a warm blanket. I think you are wonderful to want to quilt and not have to worry about it
going someplace. Of course if you want to send one here I sure would treasure it. LOL I so appreciate someones loving work. Don't feel guilty about doing something so wonderful. Mary M "I am rethinking the whole idea of quilting as just plan selfish and self serving. So I've rambled on a long time with this, I just feel bad and I need some moral support to justify my need to continue what I love. |
First, sometimes you just gotta do something for "YOU", that is why I started to quilt. I sewed a LOT when my kids were little. Now they are all grown and have kids of their own. I found myself very depressed, all I did was eat, sleep and work, (not necessarily in that order). I am much happier now. I mean MUCH happier. I think I am a lot easier to be around, as well. I did have my DH comment one day that I was spending a lot of time and money on my "habit", but it is my time and my money!! He loves to fish, so all I did is tell him that I would give up quilting if he gave up fishing. End of discussion!! Now he even helps me find Quilt shops during our travels, and he even goes in and helps me pick stuff out!! I am sure your DD has something she likes to do, point that out to her, it will allow her to understand better! Besides, you can NEVER have too many quilts!!!!!
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For me quilting is my sanity, I am on a fixed income but I can still make quilts like my grandmother just recycle fabric. I find fabric in a lot of places garage sales, thrift stores, friends... Another place to think of for quilts is orphanages, those children will really appreciate a quilt just for them. Your daughter should look at the love you are sharing some things just don't have a price tag. good luck and who knows the more you do the better you get.
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Oh, my gosh ... I can't imagine someone not liking your quilts. Please, please
share them with us via photos. Even though we all make quilts, we do also love to purchase from others. You know they will be appreciated here! |
You could find out if there are any benifets going on and donate your quilts to be raffled to raise money for a good cause.
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There are ALWAYS charities that would love quilts. Or as someone said do a garage sale. You will get some money and someone will get an heirloom quilt at a great price. Just keep doing what you love.
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Hi...I have never responded before but i felt this one needed attention.I just want you to know that i quilt for the military.. The men and women love getting quilts that have been made with so much LOVE ! I just donated 4 prayer shawls to a cancer fund raiser and down by L.A. called A Daughters Heart. There is people out there that LOVE quilts and they don't have to be perfect.As the saying goes nothing is perfect but GOD! Have a great day and God Bless you!
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It's OK to do something you love to do. It's OK to spend money. (money is for spending) You're daughter is too young to understand everything. Life is too short to be unhappy. Quilt & be happy. You'll figure out what to do with your quilts when the time comes, or let your daughter deal with them when you're gone. Join a quilting club, or send photos of your quilts here for others to admire. We're all in this together.
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If your family doesn't appreciate the love of your quilts there are many who have nothing and they bring BIG smiles from getting them. I helped make 17 quilts for a store, free gifts, for a group of people who are so poor that they have 5 or 6 people in one room to live. The colors were so appreciated and LOVED. You could be a drinker instead of creating beautiful gifts of love.
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My daughter is the same way. She will say a quilt is nice, but she doesn't really get into quilting. She's actually said the same thing about what is she going to do with the quilts after I'm gone! My grandson (her son, who's 6) wants to me make him all kinds of different quilts - he loves them. Also my son loves my quilts. I've made him two. So quilt because you love to do it and don't worry about what was said by your daughter, she just doesn't understand, but we do!
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Here is the website for Project Linus. My daughters and I quilt for them and we enjoy it so much. Find a chapter near you. They need different size quilts, some sizes more than others. For example, my chapter needs quilts for teenagers all the time. Check with your chapter and see what size they are in need of the most.
www.projectlinus.org Vanessa |
Quilting is therapy and I am in the same boat you are. However, you are more important than your daughter, even tho you don't think so, and you should feel like you can do whatever you want. Find a safe house or shelter who would love to have some warm covers and they will be greatly appreciated. If you have made quite a few then you know they are good quality and with the cold weather coming up, they are much needed. With Christmas just around the corner, make a bunch of pillows to spread the cheer a little farther. Lots of kids at risk would be very happy for anything colorful!
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Originally Posted by jfowles
So, I love quilting, dah!! it doesn't matter if I have someone to give it to, if I need it or even like it very much I just love quilting. My daughter who is my best friend and a wonderful friend at that, told me the other day, (at least this is what I heard) that it was all kind of a waste, I don't have anymore people to give them to and what is she going to do with them when I am gone. I have too many to display and they aren't good enough to give as works of art (my thoughts). So now I am working on a child's quilt with no one to give it to. I bought the expensive fabric that was made for the pattern (American Jane) and I just feel stupid working on something just to be quilting. I have no idea what to do with it but it has been so so expensive to make that I want it to go to someone who will appreciate it. I told her I can donate them but she seemed to think there is an over abundance of quilts and no one really wants them. I make her sound like an ogre and she really isn't, she just doesn't get it, Anyway now I feel bad about all the money and time I have spent just to appease my addiction when no one has any use for my work. I may not finish the child's quilt and just move on to something I intend to use as a gift, I think the intended recipient will appreciate it but now I am rethinking the whole idea of quilting as just plan selfish and self serving. So I've rambled on a long time with this, I just feel bad and I need some moral support to justify my need to continue what I love.
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there are so many deserving kids that would enjoy receiving a quilt. Cancer patients, kids p/u by police.child welfare,etc. Besides making quilts is almost a lost art, yea you can buy them,but it's not the same. Keep on quilting and don't listen to what others have to say. Besides, it's good therapy. You are doing what you love, keep on doing it and don't feel guilty or selfish, Gods' blessings.
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When I was deciding whether to buy a new machine about 8 years ago my son thought I probably shouldn't since his daughters were "getting to the age where they didn't want homemade things." I pointed out I had a sewing life for 45 years before they were born, and I still had a life apart from grandchildren. I got the machine and have made a lot of people (and myself) happy and stay too busy to meddle in their lives. Keep quilting.
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I agree your Daughter doesn't get it.
Have the garage sale to recoup some or all your money. The ones that don't sell or that you think are not up to your standards could be taken to a shelter. I'm sure you are being hard on yourself, positive all the quilts are wonderful. :thumbup: :) :thumbup: |
Please don't think that no one wants your quilts! Wven if you don't think them worthy, someone out there wants them. I make lap quilts for a nursinghome where my dad lived for 6 yrs untill he passed. They are very appreciative of them. There are several groups who make quilts for our soldiers returning from the war. I plan to do that as soon as I get my machine back up and running. There is also a group that makes quilts for children in Ethiopia. There are some groups who send you the fabrics for quilting and some groups who send quilt tops. You should be able to quilt till your eyes fall out and hands fall off with all the places out there who want quilting! linda
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Another few words....I spent my life doing for others. Raised 3 kids almost alone, cared for both my parents till they passed,(my dad was 102) cared for a sister till she passed. Now I am almost old (71) and it is time for me to do what I want to do. Quilt and make dolls. My DH fully supports what I do and he has his own things he likes to do. I don't care if anyone likes my dolls or quilts, I like them and that is all that matters. My quilt guild makes and donates quilts to a place called My Fathers House every christmas and last year we gave the excess to Santa Red & Blue which is a local thing. Now we are making pillow cases for charity. SOMEONE out there wants your quilts!!!!!! linda
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Make wheel chair quilts...same as baby quilts but maybe a little longer. Nursing homes would love them...there are so many in the nursing homes that are forgotten. I use to work in one so many years ago...I am sure they would love them...hey and you could even go and visit a few of the folks there. Many do not get visitors.
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You don't need to feel guilty about your wonderful art!
If people don't get it, it's their loss. I've lived long enough (65 plus 15 years experience:))that by now I'm not nearly as nice as most of you in my treatment of "well-meaning" relatives and friends when they attempt to tell me what I should be doing. If you're enjoying what you do, you don't owe your daughter or anyone else an explanation. Don't let comments like that keep you from living your life and doing what you enjoy....let them sort it out after you're gone! rusty |
You could donate them to a hospice. They always appreciate quilts and the family has something to remember their loved one with.
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