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bearisgray 03-06-2015 05:43 AM


Originally Posted by coopah (Post 7117178)
I used that technique in public school situations and it worked every time. It is not anyone's business what her home life is like or why she acts that way. The whole idea of a class is to learn and if she's there for any other reason, it should be her problem. IMHO

That works for the instructor/leader - does it work if the person is sitting next to you?

dcamarote 03-06-2015 05:45 AM

We go to retreats usually twice a year. There are a couple of us who always sit together. there is one girl who drives my friend up a wall because she is constantly needing assistance; which leaves no time for my friend to go. It got to the point that one day, Nancy looked at Marianne and said" for God's sake, just go sew the darn thing and stop worrying about it". We were not the only ones who noticed Nancy's frustration. All the guild members were wondering what was wrong with her. This woman no longer comes with us but I would have to say, I will be glad to help you at another time, but right now, I need to work on my own project.

quilter68 03-06-2015 06:37 AM

Forget all of the wherefores and why's. Just tell her straightout. It ususlly takes about three times but they do get it.

Personally I think the poster might be the one? HA,HA.

imsewnso 03-06-2015 06:40 AM

Someone needs to ask her what project she is bringing to the retreat. Ask her if she is going to be able to manage it on her own because there will NOT be someone there to help.....everyone will be doing their own project. Maybe someone could suggest a project for her that she could manage, or help her pick out one. Be honest with her, and tell her you think this project might be beyond a quilt retreat. Tell her she will need more than one project....just because she may get stuck and there will not be anyone to help her. This girl might be over zealous and not realize it. She probably does not realize how much time she is taking up of other peoples time. Ask her to watch someone else tackle the same problem.
I did not read all the responses to this thread so I may have repeated this. Just my 2Cents.

jeanne49 03-06-2015 06:59 AM

Tough situation. I'm the complete opposite in classes, I want as little help as possible. It sounds like this lady has always been like this -- kind of afraid to "just go for it" when doing something and if you make a mistake, you rip out and go at it again. I honestly think you and your friends just have to firmly, but politely, tell her that you're all there to learn and that you can't keep stopping on your project to help her with hers. You and the others should tell her that after you have had time to work on your project, you will, when you take a break, help her a little, but that her project is hers and maybe she should do less talking and observe others and what and how they are doing whatever they are doing. Good luck whatever you ladies decide to do.

sillygoose56 03-06-2015 07:39 AM

Too funny. I could hear my husband saying that. He was a high school teacher.
Michelle

rjwilder 03-06-2015 07:52 AM

Don't sit by her, get to the room early and try to sit on the end of the table and make sure someone else is on the other side of you besides her. Sitting in the front row helps too because you can see and hear the instructor better. That is how I've avoided Chatty Cathy.

Onebyone 03-06-2015 08:20 AM

In this situation, kindness won't help. It will reinforce the behavior not correct it. I can say No and Stop nicely, and mean it.

BettyGee 03-06-2015 08:52 AM

I agree with being direct and explaining that her constant talking, questions, etc. are disturbing. This can be done with kindness, but be firm.

meyert 03-06-2015 09:07 AM

just be honest...kindly Tell her the best way for her to learn is to do it herself... tell her that you are trying to figure out your own problem now (she will think its a quilting problem but she will be the problem you are trying to figure out :) )


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