I've given away many quilts but for the ones I gave to my grandchildren I did let them know their graduation quilts should be treated with respect. I've given them "car quilts" they can do as they wish with, but the special quilts are just that. Now, granted, I can say that to my grandchildren. I probably wouldn't say it to a friend.
I like the remarks of the lady who said by using the quilt, they were really saying it is special. I have a favorite quilt I use as a chair throw and I just feel good everytime I sit in that chair. Perhaps your friend feels that way when he lays on your quilt. (I hope it is very washable!)
Having them use it beats your kids selling it for 5 bucks when you are gone. :>

I am sorry your feelings got hurt.....Quilts are made to be used...Some of us are more sensitive than other....Don't take it personally...She didn't mean to hurt you...She probablly never made a quilt and knows little about all the hard work you invested in it....
Hugs

True, if it had happened to me I’d probably have said something. I mean, if you can’t talk to a friend you’ve known that long, what kind of friendship is it? Also, a friend would want to know if something was bothering you. You worked hard and are upset; talk to your friend.

As the hymn goes “Death will soon disrobe us all of what we here possess.” That includes quilts as well as friends. You can do little about the quilt now, but how about the friendship? As painful as it is for me to say, a friend is worth more than any quilt.

Don’t let this mess it up, talk.

I have to say, I'm with Chele's way of thinking. When I give a quilt, I tell the recipient to use it, not to put it away and be afraid to enjoy it. I always tell them that if anything ever needs to be sewed or it needs a little fixing, just bring it over and I'll patch it up. That's what people did in the old days. Quilts were washed and washed over and over and used untill they fell apart. That's why I tend to stick to my scrappy quilts and bargain materials. That way, I'm happy to make them and happy to give them too.

I do a fair amount of "donating" quilts as fund raisers for our family reunions (there are 3 a year). I know that the majority of them are displayed- one is on an antique sleigh bed, my sister has 2 in her guest room. They get oohed and aahed over before the raffle- I specifically tell them they are to be used and loved and they are not professionally made. I did have 1 experience with the quilt police picking at my mismatched seams when I was first learning, but a comment to the reunion committee that I wouldn't make anymore quilts because of them and the quilt police were told to either donate a quilt or shut up.

I make my quilts to be used, my sons have them on their beds, my future daughter in law loves the one my son and I made for her. I make baby quilts all the time- big enough to spread on the floor for baby to play on. I don't think I'll ever have the expertise level that many of you do, so I make them to be used. My seams are better, my sewing is better each time. My latest purchases- a new machine and frame and I know my quality will be better too. I'm in it for fun, not to be a quilt police.

Barb

Barb,

You make quilts for family reunions??? What is done with them? How is it determined who gets it? Sounds interesting!!

I have to agree with the ones who say they make quilts to be used. I donate quilts to Project Linus and I imagine each one being chewed on by some child who needs to do that. In fact, I truly hope that each one of my quilts ends up in tattered rags...that way, I know it provided the comfort it needed to when it needed to.

Now I'll agree that this situation is a little different, however..your friend is using the quilt you gave them. Who are we to say how anyone can "use" the gifts we give them....afterall....we did give it away ...and you probably hoped she would use & enjoy it, not put it away in a closet right?

We do the quilt as a raffle. I also have a very talented artist cousin who does a painting every year. We do other baskets, etc. too. The quilt and painting are 1 raffle. It is $10 and you are only allowed to buy 1 ticket. The other raffles- baskets, etc. are $1.00 a ticket and you can buy as many as you want. For the Ide reunion (my Gram's ancestors who settled this area back in the 1700's) it raises about $500 dollars for all the raffles. For my Mom's side of the family- a smal group of about 20 to 30, it raises about $150. For Dad's side of the family we raise about $300.

The money is used to pay for the facility if it is rented, the meat and drink, paper products. We all bring a dish to share. We have games and prizes but the highlight of the day is the raffle. Every year the reunions grow. I'm on the committee for Dad's side and we do a theme and give out silly prizes. Last year was luau and we all dressed up. This year is fiesta and we are busy finding decorations and food ideas. Dad's side fo the family reunion is held at my house, we have a pavilion and tons of parking (we have 34 acres) and I have seating for 55. This year we are adding camping.

Can I be part of your family?? :D

Sounds like a whole lot more fun than one of my family's reunions.. where the oldest generation is still dragging up stuff from THEIR childhood to fight about - we're talking 80-85 YEARS AGO

Sounds like fun reunions... just an aside - you may want to check Oriental Trading for inexpensive decorations... tons of them to choose from. Sounds like a raffle is a good way to raise some money!! Love the idea!!