Having read so many of our thoughts concerning the mistreatment of our quilts, I began thinking in a little different light. Perhaps the lady really loved the quilt and had it on her sofa in order to display it, but the husband, having no appreciation for the work and art, came in and plopped down on it before she could stop him. You know our "honey" sometimes just lives in his own world and is unaware of our treasurers. I know at my house a freshly cleaned floor seems to be an invitation for my hubby of 40 years and now retired to track in mud from the back door all the way to the front door. However it would probably be best if we quilters who have retired and have a retired husband didn't tell all of the things this man of ours can do to drive us up the wall. I just go to my sewing room and think about the beautiful work of art I can create in the most recent project.

Its her quilt now and while you want her to appreciate and cherish the quilt, after 50 years of close friendship that its the friendship NOT the quilt that matters

I do agree with Henry...I would say something like "Oh, by the way..here are come care intructions for the quilt I made"

I have heard of other quilters being similarly shocked to have their work not appreciated, usually because the receiver has no idea of the time and work that went into a quilt.
I think you should have a talk to your "friend" about what I have just said. The quilt is a work of art made from your heart and worth very much in sentimentality to you and if she could put it in a place of honor including draped over a chair or the couch it would help you feel better. If she is truly your friend, she will take your words to heart.
Something that was suggested to me recently is to have the quilts you make appraised and then include the appraisal with the quilt if you give it as a gift.
Please don't sit a fume over this. She does not know your feelings unless you tell her. The only person suffering now in YOU!

I was kind of distressed over everyone saying ooh and aah when I gave a quilt or showed them a quilt I was making. They (meaning mostly family) didn't really understand the making of them. So, the last quilt I gave away, I took pictures of each step with my digital camera and then I wrote a step-by-step document to go along with the pictures (Put each picture below each step, etc.). When I gave the quilt, I gave the step by step printed out on paper as well as on disk for them to be able to keep longer.

It seemed to generate a little bit more appreciation for the time and effort put into the making of the gift.

Brenda

I have a different 'take' on this. I have given most of my more than 100 quilts as wedding and baby gifts. For years, I realized that many were put away in drawers, the way our mothers and grandmothers saved things that were 'too nice' to use every day - and we inherited them unused. I wish that I had included a note describing how to use the hanging sleeve that I put on them!

Now, I machine quilt, because of arthritis. I include the poem 'It's okay if you sit on your quilt, It's okay if you spit on your quilt..." with the baby quilts, and I write "it's machine wash- and dryable." I machine quilt wedding quilts, too, and write a note saying the quilt is machine wash- and dryable. I also write that I've included a hanging sleeve, because I've noticed some people don't know it's there, and they've hung my quilts by nailing them to the wall!
JoanneS

I haven't given many quilts, but have given several framed cross-stitch pictures, mostly to family. These have been large and the framing alone about $150. On the quilts I always add the rod pocket and explain how it can be used. Then, I took a line from the "Antiques Road Show" and explain that for for insurance purposes this probably should be covered for about $1000. Yet, I am now making a baby blanket for a little boy, and I have no idea if it will be a wall hanging or a "blankie" that will be dragged through everything. If it is, I have to comfort myself that nothing is so beloved as a boy's first blankie.

Your situation touches the hearts of all of us, and there is really no answer. I have been known to say that if I want bed covers, I go to Wal-mart, and if I want art, I make my own.

i made a babies quilt they used it to change the baby's diaper i was so disappointed told them it was not made for that. :cry:

Janeen,

If your friend doesn't sew or craft anything with her own two hands, she probably doesn't realize the time and other resources that go into a quilt, or anything hand-made. This is by no means meant to excuse quilt abuse, but it could be a possibility. I have a friend who is an art knitter and a weaver. She told me of a friend of her's who knitted an item for someone and that item ended up in the dog bed! Yikes.

If you think it is a matter of ignorance on your friend's part, rather than malice toward you or your gift (let's hope so), you may want to ask how she and her husband are enjoying their quilt. You can then offer advice about how to care for quilts. I have given quilts as gifts and as donations to auctions in the past. I always like to include some quilt care tips, similar to what we are all used to seeing in our clothing. Sometimes, people just need to be made aware of certain things that they may have never realized before.

Janeen, my heart breaks for you because I know EXACTLY how this feels. I gave a very special quilt (an autumn leaf pattern) to a family member that I invested a ton of time, effort, money, and love into and have never seen that quilt again in all the years since that I have visited her home. I even made sure that the fabrics matched her "style" and chose all hand dyed batiks for the leaves thinking she would be proud to display the quilt somewhere in her home. Even seeing it in the guest room would have made me happy. After sending it to her, I never saw it again. For all I know she gave it away or stuck it in a closet somewhere. Now I know my aunt loves me and I adore her so the best I can figure is that since she is not a quilter, she just doesn't "get it". I've decided that all I can do is be careful to give quilts to only those that I KNOW will appreciate them because it's important to me that my quilts are loved. At the very least, your friend has your quilt on display in her home even if it's not being treated the way you or I would treat it. I think it is possible that she truly LOVES the quilt you made her even if she doesn't quite "get it" as far as caring for such a special item.

My cousin came to my house for a party once and after seeing my quilt blocks up on the wall said to me "why would you cut up all that fabric just to sew it back together again??". Needless to say I have never made him a quilt nor do I plan to...ever.