Originally Posted by nab1213

I have almost got my husband convinced to give up all of his wood working tools so that we can use his 12 x 24 shop for a long arm quilting machine. He also said I would have to teach him how to quilt. Imagine that.

Originally Posted by katcox

I guess I've been lucky with the ex's encouraging me to go for what I want. Now new beau spends his $ on the quilting must have's so How neat is that? Quite different for me to have someone pay for it,and only after a few months. Of course I wasn't afraid to use a skillet if I had too.
The new one even understands about the fibro flairs which are killing me right now, just called the Dr. to see if I can up the meds to hopefully do away with the burning in my leg and left shoulder. Whew!! It hurts.

Originally Posted by Pat G

Oh Candace, you sure hit the nail on the head. I totally agree with you. I can't imagine a marriage where one needs "permission" from the other for everything.

Originally Posted by Kitsie

WooHoo! You go girl!!

Originally Posted by cjomomma

It is a partnership but DH and I try to check with each other just incase the money is needed for the household. We don't have much so we try to spend wisely.

Originally Posted by clsurz

To the handful of you who have responded that my using a skillet across his head is ABUSE.... you know not what you are talking about!

Anyone that knows me I'm a fun loving person, and although big and tall I'm as soft as a teddy bear. There come a time that we all have to stand up for ourself and take action.

The way to stop abuse is to take action which I did. It only took one time.

As for my being hauled to jail would never have happened...why! Because he was a police officer at the time and he would have had to explain to the chief and the judge why I bonked him on the head and most likely would have or could have lost his job. They also would have made fun of him allowing a women to whip him.

Also the fact that I'm a Marine and male Marines taught me to grow a pair helped me to deal with him as though I was a man.

Just because a person takes action to stop any type of abuse does not make that person an abuser themselves.

As for marriage I've always said once is enough even in the good times. If hubby were gone to heaven or if we had ever divorced I never would have gotten married again. Once I put a stop to his verbal and mental abuse he changed. We have been together almost 35 years and I did my deed more than 20-25 years ago.

My marriage was never all that bad compared to what some women go through but than again I'm not the type to sit back for long and allow someone to be abusive towards me or anyone else for that matter.

When I was in the Marines I'd often see women Marines allow there so called boyfriends to verbally, mentally and sometimes physically abuse them and if they did it in my presence that male Marine never did it again.

Sometimes as someone else mentioned here a couple times we ladies have to grow a pair to be on equal footing with these silly men. If you confront a man like a man it will put a stop to there foolishness.

I remember once a male Marine telling me negative stuff and I in my still small voice stated "I'm more man than you'll ever be and more women than you could ever possibly handle". Of course all the male Marines laughed at what I told him and basically said "looks like she grew her a pair and took yours and ground them up".

When it comes to abuse of any kind weather a man doing it to a woman, or reverse there comes a time that like or similar measure needs to be taken to put that person in there place and some measures have to be more drastic than others. That does not make the person defending themselves an abuser as well but in any court of law is called SELF-DEFENSE.

I also detest men that drink and abuse only when they are drunk and family and others say "oh he didn't mean it, or he didn't know what he was doing and some other stupid thing. He knew what he was doing all the while but just wasn't man enough to try it when sober.