If you have a quilt laying around you don't want....
 

I have been reading the thread Thank you for my gift, would you make me another....and actually think I read every single reply.

Now this is almost the same thing, but thought I would start a new thread. A family member told me if I had a quilt that I didn't want, she would love to have it...I didn't say much if anything the first time. I was flabbergasted that someone had the nerve to ask for a quilt. Since then it has been mentioned two or three times.

I so wish I had thought of some of the replies others used....I really liked
1. What is wrong with just saying 'no.'
2. I have so many projects already planned but I will put you on the list...but you go to the bottom
3. Having her go with me to buy the fabric, batting, thread. I honestly doubt she would spend that much money...too used to buying those made in China.

I just so wish I had thought of these answers...and I don't know why I didn't think to tell her there are all kinds of how to videos and books to read. She doesn't work...has never worked a job as far as a know. There is no reason she can't make one. She can sew and make clothes...she could easily learn how to quilt.

I hear ya!
If you said you might, I'm sure she heard that as a yes I will. So turn that into yes I will show you how to do it yourself. . .

Your next statement could be, "You know, my to-do list is so long .... Would you like me to come fabric shopping with you and I'll give you some tips on making your own?"

Hehe, I like the idea of showing her how to do her own. If she can sew clothes she can certainly learn to sew her own quilt.

What actually got me into quilting more seriously was a friend of mine just inviting me over to make a table runner. She taught me how to do it, and I was hooked! And all she showed me was how to do a DNP. But it is one of my favorite blocks still, and it was so fun to learn. :) It sounds like she has the time to do it if she wants as well. Who knows, maybe you could teach her her new favorite pass time! :)

Sometimes we get roped into projects so easily, been there myself! Yes, I think I would just take her fabric shopping, be sure to get quality batting, thread, pattern too! Then promptly let her know it just takes so much time to cut, sew and sandwich a quilt, then you either need to quilt it yourself which takes lots of practice before you can even start or send it out to a longarmer to be quilted at a price. Binding needs to go on also, and say "I just don't have the time to do it" "I suggest you try to make it or send it to someone who does this for a living"! Would that be mean? Unless of course, you just happened to have one laying around you don't want *a bit of sarcasm*?

Oh and don't forget to buy a seam ripper, and she will most likely need that also LOL

She said IF you have a quilt laying around? Uh, no, they have all found homes !

If you are so inclined, make a table runner for a housewarming gift. IF you want to.

Otherwise, dont respond. Silence is golden.
Sandygirl

I believe non-quilters do not understand the amount of work that goes into making them.

Maybe a local quilt shop or community college offers beginner classes... if so, you might pass that info on to her and say, you know, I really don't have time to make quilts for friends. Or have unloved ones to give away... why not have the fun of making your own?!

When my Mother passed away some long lost kin-folk said, "I'd just love to have one of your Mother's quilts". My Dad told her what the going rate ($$$$) was for handmade quilts. That was the last we heard from her!

I may be off here but I would not be offended. It is likely that she has seen some of your gorgeous quilts and is completely oblivious to the expense and labor intensity of quilting. I think a direct reply is much more effective and necessary before i was offended. You need to decide if you want to make her one or teach her how to make one or do nothing (all of which is acceptable).

if you make her one, require that she go with you to purchase all supplies (including thread, rotary blade, machine needles, templates/pattern/book, fabric, etc).

If you want to teach her, require her to buy the above mentioned items while shopping with you and schedule the times convenient to you.

if you don't want to do it, explain the cost, the time, and that you have other quilts you want to complete first.

ANOTHER BRILLIANT OPTION... Bring her a how to make a rag quilt pattern and a charm pack as a gift and tell her since she sews she could do it.

Yes I have been nagged by some people and if I don't care for that person or think they are worthy of my time & hard work that's required for quilt making then I politely say "you know I am self taught, I bet you could teach yourself if you wanted"

I would take her asking you for a quilt as a HUGE compliment. If I painted and someone asked if I had any paintings they could have, I would be so proud!

You could offer to take a beginner's class WITH her. I did that with a friend and I learned a couple of new tricks and we had so much fun together! It didn't cost much and I used my stash. She thanked me over and over again for doing that for her. She said she felt too out of her element to take it by herself. I'm so glad I took it with her. Now she's a quilting machine.

Try to stay positive. It's sad to look at our gift in a negative light. Keep it as a positive gift and remember we are gifted!

well said. I am sure most who do not quilt really do not have a clue at the time and cost involved.I give quilts to my family but when I sell them I ask a fair but profitable price.

When you tell here he going price for fabric, thread, etc., I think she'll say 'Nevermind'. Also explain approx how many hours it takes to make one and that you don't have one 'laying' around. Every one that you make has a specific need in mind and the list is long and growing by leaps and bounds.

I find that once someone gets a little 'hint' of what a quilt costs both in materials needed and time, they have a different outlook on having you 'whip' one up for them or having one 'laying' around.

The idea about buying a charm pack and explaining to her how to make a rag quilt is also a good idea.

I'd tell her you'd be happy to teach her to quilt and that all your quilts hold sentimental value for you so it would be hard to part with one. You just know she'll feel the same after she makes her first quilt.

I think this is a wonderfu suggestion

I think this is a terrific idea. Tell her you have too much on your plate right now. Giving her a gift of a pattern and some fabric would tell her that you aren't ignoring her request. You could offer to spend a day getting her started and teaching her some of the basics.

DNP?????? What is that?

If someone asks me about making them a quilt and I care about them and usually give them gifts for birthdays and Xmas I usually tell them I will consider it for one of their presents. If it is someone who has no claim on me I tell them straight out how rude they are being. But then I'm a teacher and most of my requests of that type have come from my students.

To teach her the basics is what I would have said, not to teach her to quilt. That could take forever. Just explain it's a very expensive "hobby" and she could make her own.my hubby always asks me who i'm giving a completed quilt to. No one at the moment. our finances are tight and I may need to sell some of them one day!

Disappearing Nine Patch

Disappearing Nine Patch

Considering how rude it was of her to beg for a quilt, I don't think I could be very polite in telling her no, I don't have any laying around and I don't do freebies for someone who can make their own!

My response in that situation is always " I would be happy to teach you how." That usually ends the conversation.

My other stock answer is "I can't keep up with the baby quilts in my family so couldn't possibly commit to any other projects." then offer the first response again.

My nice way of saying no.

She is hinting and you can easily be deaf to hints.

If you like her you could decide to make her a quilt for the cabin. It sounds like she would appreciate it. Until then just use the "long list ahead of you" response to side-step the issue. If they don't ask directly then you don't have to answer directly.

I agree with the others that suggested you offer to "teach" her to make her own. If she has sewn garments its not to hard to figure out how to make a quilt. Offer a "jump start " session.

Where I run into a problem is that most of my quilts are for community projects. (Cancer Clinic / Foster Care ect...)
so when people find out that you are giving them away, they don't understand why you wouldn't give THEM one.
Thank goodness I have dozens of UFOs that I want to finish and can't possibly start anything new :o)

Hmmm. I would be flattered. It seems she recognizes the beauty and workmanship irn your quilts, enough to want one of her own. I didn't take it as being rude or pushy at all.

If you don't care to spend the time on her that,s ok. Say no I don't have any and move on.

Or make a lap quilt out of the goodness of your heart for her. And move on.

You control your own life.

She's family. Make the lady a quilt! Why wouldn't you? I'm flabbergasted that you would be offended that she would ask? I'd be honored.

The last hint I got I flat out told them the price of a baby quilt started at $300. End of conversation.

You know, I put myself in a similar position. I teach violin and for a graduation gift, I made a tee shirt quilt for a student.... not thinking to ask for money for the backing and batting.... Well, now this year her sister is graduating, and I have to make her a quilt, too. It wouldn't be right to NOT make her one. Their friend is also graduating and taking lessons from me, so she knows about the quilts. I can't NOT make her one, either. So, here I am, footing the bill for the backing, batting and thread... not forgetting the iron on interfacing. I know I won't do this again. I'll ask the student if they would like me to make a quilt for them, and if they do, I'll bring them along to buy the backing, and everything else. After all, I'm not charging for labor, it IS a gift. I suppose that's why I didn't ask for any money in the first place. I want it to be a gift, but it's a pretty expensive one.

About 10 yrs ago my best friend from decades ago came over to see my new home. I had a cross-stitch sampler hanging in my bedroom that probably took over a year for me to stitch and then the frame probably cost $150.00. She saw it and asked if she could have that picture when I die. Speechless!!! I didn't know what to say!!! I don't think she wanted it as a rememberance of me, I think she wanted it because it would have looked good in her home decor at the time. Her husband was walking behind her when she said it and he said....." OMG...you didn't just say that did you?" Well, she was the kind of friend who never called me, I always called her to see how she was and she was always in the throws of some kind of drama, or she was to busy to talk to me. Anyway, I felt like I was always the friend who was making the effort to be a friend and she was only responding. Needless to say, I stopped calling her to see if she would ever call me first. It's been 10 yrs and she still hasn't called me. I still feel sad about the lost friendship....but I don't loose sleep over it....and I still have my sampler pic too, which will be going to my children upon my death....many years from now I hope!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

It isn't hard to find double knit material from the 1980s - make her one out of that - very large blocks of course - very Bohemian - LOL tell her you thought it was just her style.

I think I might be looking at this from a different angle. You say this is a family member, and they must be fairly close family members to invite you up to see their new log cabin!! I am sure she has seen your quilts and would absolutely love one for the new log cabin. However, even though she sews, she probably has no idea how much time and work goes into a quilt. That was one thing that got to me, when I started doing quilts. It was not quick. I did not see much progress as you do with sewing. Even though I am currently sewing a wedding dress for my daughter, I will have it finished much faster than I would a quilt. There is the great misconception. Most sewers will not realize the time factor.

So, I would explain to her the time factor and that you are in the middle of several projects. However, you would love to spend some time showing her how to make her own quilt. You could start off by teaching her just the bare basics, and do a table runner. She will either love it, or hate it. But she will have an idea of the work that goes into it. She might even be really interested in learning to do it herself. Not everyone will decide to do it, and just take off on their own. I just figured when I started if I can make dresses, pants, etc...I can surely sew a bunch of pieces of fabric together. :D Its not nearly as easy as that !! But honestly I can hardly wait to get done with this dress, and get back to my quilting.

What ever you decide, she is family and I hope you find a solution that will satisfy both of you. Good luck.

I have a few quilts I don't want to send you to give to her. We are planning on moving from Michigan to Nevada and some of these have got to go.

Tell her that you will keep her in mind should you ever need to find a new home for one of your quilts.

Why not offer to trade a quilt for a week's vacation time at he new cabin? That way you both win.

Three weeks ago Jim came from work and said that a lady there wants me to make her a quilt. (this is the third person in 1 1/2 years now). I remembered some of the statements from the other thread, and made up my mind that if this person wants a quilt from me, it will be one that is already done, AND I am putting a price on it that is fair to me. I did some serious figuring and it comes out to 19 cents a square inch. That may not sound like much, but a moderate lap quilt of say, 50 x 38 inches would be just over $360.

As someone else here said, people who do not quilt, do not understand the amount of effort it takes. (and the money) Take her shopping and let her see the prices for fabric.

LOL, read
http://www.quiltingboard.com/picture...y-t217497.html
Bless his heart, same thing with my FIL Tony. But I love him so it's done, mailed and he loves it!!

I have a sister in law....who i might add doesn't communicate with me very often...not like we are friends (i tried). But twice now she has "put in an order" for an identical item that she has seen my DD with.
First time I laughed and said ...that bag (a very complicated travel bag) was so hard I doubt I'll ever make another.
Second time (an embroidered kitchen aid mixer cover with a pocket (and reversable)) She said....I'd just love it if you could make one "EXACTLY" like the one you made your DD for my DD.
Then....she wanted me to mail her one of our local snack items here thats only sold local.....she lives on the other side of the country.
I sent her a link from Amazon with the item listed at a really high price LOL.
Moral of the story.....some people are just users...they are constantly fishing...casting their line....see what they catch.
If I were the gal with the log cabin problem I'd tell her you are just far too busy but you know where she could get a nice one....go online and find a nice Amish quilt shop and send her the link....not your problem.
If she is looking for a rag quilt...this gal does great work. http://www.etsy.com/shop/Ashlawnfarms

She did ask for a quilt that you didn't want. Why not just say that at the moment you didn't have any quilts that you didn't want but when you did you would keep her in mind.

I would give her a link to the precut rag quilt and explain that the pride she will feel when she makes it is priceless.