You shouldn't feel ridiculous about how you reacted; I think it's understandable. Unfortunately, it's a sure road to grief, to spend time wishing you had the gifts and talents that others have, rather than celebrating the ones you have. However, there are lots of excellent books on design theory, that will give you some tools to exercise your creative muscle, if you are wanting to develop your creative side in relation to designing quilts.

Not everyone is equally creative. Consider something like a play. Not everyone can be a playwright, but there are also actors, stage designers, directors, etc., who bring the play to life so that others can experience it. I'm fairly certain I will never design a quilt to rival some of the amazing ones I've seen; heck, I may never design one at all. So far in my brief quilting career, I've been using other people's patterns, and exercising my creativity in choosing what fabrics to use in bringing them to life. But I still enjoy exercising my creativity in this way. Celebrate yourself!

I think you are working from a very narrow definition of creativity. Your sister is clearly artistic and good at visualizing, but whether she's actually a creative thinker isn't apparent from your example. Creativity is regarded by many who study thinking to be the highest form of giftedness. That goes way beyond making a suggestion that improves a quilt design. You're giving your sister way too much credit and yourself too little. Some of the most creative people aren't artistic at all. And some people with artistic talent aren't particularly original thinkers.

hugs,
Charlotte

I'm curious. Is your sister a quilter? Does she have more experience in quilting? What is her background?

We each have different gifts. Some gifts can be developed through practice and willingness to learn. Unfortunately others can't be.

Even if your sister came up with the design, you would be doing the actual sewing and quilting. I hope you can find some peace [pun intended] in your decision of what to do.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I piece very well, enjoy basting and hand-stitching the binding. I am good at choosing complementary colors and fabrics. I have a very hard time, however, choosing a pattern/design and especially deciding how to quilt the basted sandwich. That is why I SID for most of my quilts. I spend SO much time looking here and googling to get FMQ ideas and still, I have a hard time. Using your sister's idea, to me, would be no different than using someone else's pattern or, in my case, using an idea from here or the internet for FMQ. You are still the one doing the work so revel in your accomplishment and all the praises you will get!!

There are many aspects to quilting. IMHO, I feel I am best at putting colors/fabrics together and the actual quilting. My piecing is okay and improving. If I am selecting fabrics at a quilt store and an employee or a passing quilter suggests a different fabric, I will thank them and make a decision to include it or not based on if it SPEAKS TO ME. It seems like you are using all or nothing thinking that somehow you have given up all rights to call your quilt your own because you like a suggestion your Sister made. I may really like the fabric someone suggests and incorporate it in my quilt/design that doesn’t make it any less my quilt.

Dearest Annesthreads, Here's a question you might ask yourself. Would you have felt the same if one of your girlfriends had made the suggestion your sister made that discouraged your dear heart??? I don't know where to begin to explain to you how well I am personally familiar with your difficult feelings regarding being creative. I have a younger sister who felt this way about me and I also felt this way about her! Our story is anything but simple, but we needed help! This was 29 years ago, we both went through Christian counseling and have gotten lots of healing. In our case, those feeling of being inadequate came from our Mother always singing the praises to me about my sister, and vice versa. We found from counselors Mother was a narcissist who needed to control everything, she used the wounds she inflicted to control. Our case is pretty extreme, I encourage you to begin looking for a trusted friend or counselor you can talk to, professionals have been taught on how to get to the root cause of your awful emotional pain. No one should have to live with those feelings of being "so-so". The fact that you want to do something "better" tells me you probably have it in you. (A so-so person would be thrilled with their plan and not seek to improve). Please feel free to send me a private message.

I'm not creative when it comes to coming up with my own ideas and I'll have to admit I use wildly different fabrics in the same quilt sometimes. I think it all comes out great (in my mind of course). I wouldn't change the way I do things because I feel like my fabric choices are the breath of fresh air in the patterns I use. Don't get down on yourself because you do things differently, that's what makes quilting so much fun!

There is no measuring stick with which to measure traits. It is true, that everyone has strengths and weaknesses that come naturally but true strength is in recognizing what we do well and how to supplement what we feel we struggle with.

Years ago, I worked in the printing industry and it was my job to design things for customers, even logos for new local businesses. People often commented on how creative I was, but as a non-artist, I knew that I had learned some basic principles of design which served me well.

We can admire others as creative and find ourselves lacking, or we can recognize our own strengths and take what we need from other sources. Put away your measuring stick and be happy that you will love the design of your new quilt. You chose the fabrics and generated the original idea, it is not your sister's quilt.

I do not consider myself creative - I take a lot of inspiration from others. I see something on google images I like, I take note of values but will change the colour to suit me if I like it that much. For me, as long as I am enjoying what I am doing then I am happy with my "creations". Don't be too hard on yourself.

I understand your pain and you need to get past it. Everyone here has offered some wonderful advice. I would read through all of them carefully and let them help ease you past this resentment and helplessness that you feel.

I am here to tell you that I am in your boat. The difference is, I accept my limitations. I know I have them, because when our oldest of 3 daughters was 5 years old (she's 47 now) asked me to draw her a girl. I forgot that her dad, who is a wonderfully talented artist, drew her one a couple of days before that. I drew what I thought was a pretty good girl. I was slammed by the 5 year old when she said "Mom, I can draw a better girl than you can." I was stunned and started laughing. And said "Show me." She did. Hers was much better. I thank heaven that 2 of our 3 girls got their father's talent. The other's daughter's youngest girl is a very talented artist at the age of 9. (I am going to get her to do Crayola Quilt blocks for me one of these days.)

I am great at following a quilt pattern and at making a quilt using some kind of a picture with the colors in it that I like. I am not worth a darn when I have to pick out more than 5 or 6 colors on my own for a quilt. I have to let professionals help me with it. I don't care. I love what I make and enjoy it very much. I would NEVER do what you were trying to do, just start cutting squares and then try to figure out what to make with them. I cannot do that. I have to have a plan and know where I am going. So you are to be commended for at least having started to make a quilt without a pattern. Having said that, I have seen some beautiful quilts with 4 to 6 inch squares made into a grid with black fabric as sashing. The newest trend now is to use KF fabric and make the Dresden plates on black. Stunning quilts!

Instead of resenting that your sister is more talented creatively, accept her as she is, and use her creativity. Feeling bad about it only feeds your feelings of inadequacy and you just don't need to feel that way. Remember, you were smart enough to buy those wonder KF fabrics. You knew you wanted to use them. You started the cutting. You are going to do the sewing. You will be doing the quilting. Her idea of a way to put them together is a very small part of the whole process and you might have come up with her idea if you had looked at enough pictures of KF quilts.

Cry your heart out if you have to and just let this go. Our lives are too short to go around feeling hurt every time we don't sing the best song, or do the best drawing or come up with the best idea. We just do what we can and enjoy seeing people love our quilts and enjoy our lives as best we can.