I vote for your advice - sewbizgirl. No one puts value on items they don't spend their money for. If you get patterns, the pattern does mean something to you. (side note: I've loaned books with not perfect results, esp. having a hard copy book where someone else dog ears pages...sad). Besides if you loan a pattern don't they have to make pattern pieces, and if they did not buy it...what do we call that? They are still copying something they did not pay IP on. JMHO

I have never enjoyed being around anyone that says "I'm cheap". It's not anything to be proud of. Being frugal is not being cheap. Two very different things but most have no idea the difference.

It's the same as that person getting a book from the library. No stopping anyone from copying patterns from those. I'm not their moral compass and don't want to be. But I don't loan to acquaintances. I can say no in a second and not feel one bit I need to explain. My quilting group friends, all buy the books and patterns that any of us show each other we like. No one has ever asked to borrow from each other anything other then recipes. We can afford alike.

I am prone to making changes to almost every pattern I use. In order to keep track of my changes, I make a copy for myself to use and I write "working copy" on it to note any changes I make. I do not write in books or on original patterns, but I do want a record of changes I have made in case I desire to make the pattern again. My working copies are kept in a separate file. I never loan my patterns to anyone and if I want to make the same project, I always purchase my own pattern.

There may be some members of some guilds (and/or quilters that are not members of any group) that cannot afford to get whatever they want whenever they want it.

My sister and I share books back and forth however I believe we have equally purchased book over time. I have to chuckle because she recently moved and there are a couple books I would really like to be using right about now. I will give a pattern away before I would see it bootleged any more.

I let a friend use four of my patterns , ?? about six mouths ago . have not got them back yet . I have called about
them no return call. Let your friend buy her own . She can wright the name down and buy them. just tell her you don't loan them out ( sorry )

But like most of us, I've had my share of good stuff disappear here and there, or I'm pretty fussy about how I treat books and most people are less kind than I am to them.

Yup!

So it's okay to borrow because they can't afford to have one of their own? Asking to borrow is entitlement thinking of the person asking. I will offer to loan anything but I seldom will lend if asked outright. I don't want friends who ask to borrow what I have. If they can't afford it then they save until they can. That's what I do.