LQS is a little too helpful
 

I have a couple of quilt stores in my area, but have pretty much stopped going to one of them for this reason: The woman who manages it follows me around the store for a good part of the time, trying to help me select fabric. Sometimes I don't even know exactly what I'm looking for, but when I see it I know it, so I just need some space and time to find it. I do appreciate, and think necessary, the initial offer of help, but I can't seem to get across to her that I'm able to make my own fabric decisions. I've tried to explain that I just need to look around, and I've never been rude, but it doesn't seem to deter her. I've found myself practically hiding behind fabric displays just to get away.:o
Obviously this isn't that serious of an issue, but has anyone else had this happen to them, and if so, how did you handle it, short of getting physical?

The only quilt store I have been too here has been a good experience. They ask right when I come in if I need help and maybe after a few mins later. She did show me some cute colors when I was looking to make a baby quilt.

My only complaint is the lack of inventory, it is a small store so not a lot to choose from. There are 2 other stores in a town nearby that I want to try to visit one day.

Sorry she is too helpful. Maybe just say "I am looking for inspiration and I do that better alone, but thank you."

I have had it happen to me a few times in fabric stores and even other stores. I am exactly like you, I need to spend time looking and usually know it when I see it! Some people want the help and feel like they need it, but it is an uncomfortable situation to be in for me and I am probably too unresponsive and look like a snob. But I don't want to hurt feelings, either. But not getting help when we need it is frustrating, too. All in all, I am nearly always blissfully happy in any fabric store!!

Oh.. I am the same way ... I really dislike the "hover" and the "trailing ". I am a big time browser, and if left alone will end up purchasing more than if I am "crowded" . As may times as I have said that I just like to focus and find my own way, she just keeps coming back. I too find it annoying enough that I will not go into some LQS.

Maybe you could say, "I really do much better when I am by myself" and if she persists, LEAVE and say "maybe I will come back later."
Hopefully if she has connected brain cells she will get the hint. No business owner wants to see customers leaving the store!!

We have one here thats are overly helpful. Its almost like they want you to get it and get out. They can't please everyone. I've gotten to the point that I tell them I have no set thing in mind but if I have any question I'll let them know. That usually gets them back to doing as they were.

We have one like that at my LQS. I stop by there at lunch times just to get a mental break from work. Most times I'm not buying there these days because the prices are way too high. I do stop in for thread, patterns and occasional pieces of fabric, but not as often as I used to. Mostly I go there to browse, check out what is new. I hate that she follows me around and babbles in my ear the whole time I'm there. If I'm trying to get ideas or plan something out, I can't concentrate, she's that much of a distraction. I must say, I'm always thrilled when another customer comes in so that she will go bother them and leave me alone.

That's tactful and should get the point across.

If it doesn't, try writing a very kind and gentle letter to explain to them that you would love to shop in their store, but you don't like people hovering over you while you shop. You're happy that they're available to answer questions, but that you like to wander around and muse on various fabrics and mentally take notes. When a store clerk hovers, it's distracting and you can't keep your train of thought.

Open with a compliment on something about their store and the staff, state your problem kindly and close with a compliment and the hope that they will succeed because the more successful quilt shops there are, the better for you as a quilter.

You can be anonymous, if you wish. :)

I'm like you - and fortunately, we have just about the perfect quilt store here in my area - no hovering, but plenty of staff to help you when you're ready to cut fabric or checkout or have a question. Very friendly, but not looking over your shoulder. Good luck! :)

take a friend to 'run interference' while your browse :)

I have only been in a "real" fabric store once and that was a LONG time ago. At PA Fabric Outlet you are totally on your own. And it's the same at Joann's. Unless you ask about something you are left alone. But...different shop.

On the 2nd floor of a farmer's market near me they have all kinds of shops. A friend and I went there one day because she wanted me to see this craft shop. She warned me that the lady talks a lot. OMG was she ever right. From the time we walked in the door she never stopped. As soon as you picked up something she would give you the whole "history" of it and whether it was a good seller or not for her. We tried to escape to the back of the store when her phone rang. As soon as she hung up from the call she started yelling back to us. I said, Bev, let's just buy something and get out of here. We went to the counter to pay and were probably there 15 minutes while she talked about how she was starting to bring in her Christmas stuff and how many trips from her vehicle to her shop upstairs she had to make and blah blah blah blah blah. She had some really cute things but I have not gone back. Bev has been back a couple of times and she said to me...if I get bored at home and need someone to talk to I can always go there. LOL

LOL I will be looking at the responses you get. I have the same problem at one place plus the lady seems to be pressering me into buying stuff.

This is what I was thinking. It seems like they buddy up like one of my quilting partners would do.

thats too bad! reminds me of furniture stores! i hate that too! i hope the suggestions help!!

You should experience being a male quilter walking into a store for the first time. Things get very, very quiet while they wait for your to realize that you're in the wrong store or that they don't stock velcro or denim. Why else would a male enter their store? Then one brave soul will offer to help. When you tell them you're just looking for fabrics and ideas, business will slowly resume but in a whispered fashion. One male quilter told a story about an exasperated saleslady who finally blurted out, "Didn't she send a list with you?"

The ladies at my LQS know me and I often run into another guild members. Being a male quilter does have the advantage that clerks are interested in your projects and willing to share any ideas or patiently answer any questions you might have. I don't exactly blend in when taking a class but they've finally relaxed and quit correcting themselves when starting a sentence with something like, "Okay ladies,..."

I sometimes get a humorous reaction when I happen to be leaving the store at the same time a lady is approaching. Naturally, I open the door for her. Often they will back pedal, look at the store windows to verify they're in the right place, then chuckle at themselves and enter.

I worked in an antique store some years ago and when we suspected someone might be stealing we would hover with them to make them uncomfortable and leave. I can't imagine a fabric store having this concern since it would be hard to stick a bolt of fabric in your purse! Maybe you could tell her my story and and then say - you don't think I am stealing do you? ha ha ha....

I'm really enjoying all of your answers....like I said, it's not that serious of an issue, and most of my fabric buying experiences are great, but I love hearing everyone else's stories. Carl, it's awesome that you aren't intimidated by all the female reactions, but you just take it all in stride!

If that happens to me, I will walk out after the second time they ask me. When I say "Don't call me, I'll call you"...unfortunately, I mean it. Is that rude? Probably. Do I feel like they've earned the treatment? Probably. Will I do it again? Certainly!!

It is hard for me to shop but it is harder when I have someone who wants to help and I am sure myself what I am looking for. Usually, given time I may find material that I need but many times, I go just to see what they have. I may just want to look for a project that is a couple weeks in the future.

This works: Be talking (or pretend to) on your cell phone as you walk in the shop. Keep the phone to your ear the whole time you are there. Have it turned to silent so it won't ring. LOL.

I agree with ckcowl. But make sure it is someone that can really talk and keep the sales person so busy; she wants to leave. hahaha Teresa

I never thought about male quilters in the LQS. Must be similar to the reaction I got when my husband asked me to stop in a sporting good store to buy some bait. I was either ignored or the clerks fell all over me. Couldn't we all live without stereotypes!

I know it sounds silly, but too bad you can't take a friend with you to the store so that your friend can distract her. I don't like hovering clerks either. In fact, I can't stand them!

I have been to one store that does that, and I often wonder if maybe they think I am going to steal something. I know it is nerve wracking, but the one store I was in, I know the lady was lonely and maybe that's why she followed me around. I try to say politely that I am just looking, but I like the idea of pretending to be on the phone, but I would probably call my quilting buddy and tell her to keep me talking !

I have had that happen and it is so annoying. I don't like someone in my space that close anyway, so it does bother me.
I wouldn't go there. I think I would call her and tell her why so at least she has an option to change. She wouldn't have to know who you are. This one lady I am talking about would never take a hint. I know she losses sales because she has lost mine.

Oh, this happened to me every time I visited a shop in Colorado. My daughter lives there and we go on shop hopping adventures. When I walked in the door the owner's husband would follow me around. I would make my daughter try to distract him. Nothing doing! He always gave me his business card! I told my husband about him and it became a big joke in our family. So, the next time I went my husband came along to see what the old fool would do. He was laughing so hard he left the store! The owner would come up to him and tell him to please leave me alone.The last trip to Longmont we checked out the shop and it had closed. I really liked their fabric and they had a lot of neat quilts. Just couldn't take the chatter.

We're lucky enough to have several stores to choose from. But, yes we have one just like you describe. And after two attempts I won't be going back.

wow if didn't live in Alaska i would think it was my town but we only have the 1 fabric shop the lady follows me every second asking person questions while she is picking out my fabric and thread too

She did pick out some very pretty purple fabric for my quilt block swap this month but now i am not doing a purple block so i may just send my partner a FQ I am doing a block for her that the purple just does not go with. I just mentioned purple to the lady and she started picking it out for me
I am with you I would rather do it myself this lady just does not hardly let you say no

Seems like sometimes you can' win. It's either too much or no help. lol.

LOL! My LQS are wonderful. I know what you mean though. A few weeks ago while traveling I visited one in NC. The lady followed me around and commented on everything I looked at. She really went on about the jelly roll quilts. I picked up a jelly roll and she began explaining to me what it was. I said "yes, ma'am, I love making jelly roll quilts" or something to that effect. Didn't deter her. I was with two friends and they were vastly amused. When the woman insisted we go look at a quilt made with a jelly roll I ignored her. My friend went with her though and came back and told me you have got to see this! LOL, she was so egging the employee on at that point, while my other friend sat down and laughed!!! It was quite hilarious. Odd little shop though. Not much fabric and the jelly rolls had only 20 strips in them. The price was great though, so I took a few home. Had to tell her quite firmly at the end that I knew what to do with them. My friend who had been in the store a few times told me she had never seen that employee before. We were all laughing. Anything can be fun when you are with the VIP's in your life!

I like this idea. If she is still there say something like "I'll come and get you if I need help."

I've run across stores and clerks where they just won't give you a minute's peace to browse and think. I don't have to worry about them anymore as 1 has closed permanently and the other one I haven't entered in years . Maybe a little drastic, but I'd rather drive a farther distance or shop online.

I have used the 'I am just looking today, but if I find something that begs to go home with me, I'll let you know' line. Usually that works. One particular person in a LQS here, it does not work. I have resorted sometimes to calling the store ahead of time to ask a question about some notion, just to see who answers. I postpone the trip if I think I will be followed around the store.

Writing a letter sounds like a very good idea.

It is very frustrating, indeed, when you find an overbearing salesperson or clerk. Recently I was looking for a backing for a baby quilt. The store was huge and I was shopping on holiday with my mother, father, daughter, and 1 year old grandson. It was a special coupon day and really a challenge to keep track of everyone. There were long lines at the cutting station and checkout. We were on a tight schedule.

At the cutting station, I laid out the fabric and quilt--measuring the amount of fabric I wished to order. The fabric was not that expensive, in my opinion, and there was a huge bolt of it. However, the cutter insisted that the quantity I wished to purchase would be "overkill" for the project. She was adamant that I buy a much lesser quantity. Unfortunately I listened to her advice. Later my mother said the fabric shrank quite a bit and would need to go width-wise on the quilt rather than length wise. It was a disappointment for us, but I've learned from the experience.

I like online fabric shopping. My name is Gerry and I'm a fabricoholic . . . I just remembered that Fabric Depot allows purchases of fabric in other than 1/2 yard increments. Off to take a look.

I agree with you. I like to go to stores and take my time looking around. If I need help them I ask them. My store seems to accept the fact that I will ask for help if I need it.

Too bad you do not live in my area. I live near a small town that has a wonderful LQS--great quality and a fantastic selection of fabrics. I believe it is family owned as three family members are always there. They always approach you upon entering the store to welcome you and offer assistance. Then you are on your own to browse and shop for as long as you would like. When you have made your selection they will cut the fabric for you or offer you a discount if you would like to cut the fabric yourself! If you choose to cut your own they do not hover over you to make sure you are not misrepresenting your cuts--you simply list the SKU, the amount of fabric and the price per yard. Should you need help or advice, all you have to do is ask and they are more than glad to help. I always look forward to going into their shop!!

Carl's description of being a male quilter resonated with me. Only my favorite shop gives me equal treatment which is great business for them because between my wife and myself we can spend quite a bit.

. . .and then there is the local Bernina dealer who believes that a hard sell works wonders for her bottom line. (She never heard of the soft sell) I can't go into that shop without being acosted about the purchase of a new machine. I get it from the owner, her manager or one of the sales ladies every single time. They don't seem to do it to my wife. As a result I activly avoid the place if I can but recently my wife went there to register for a class. I decided to pick up a few colors and was at the checkout when from acroos the room the owner saw me and bellowed out was I in to buy a machine today. This she had to do from at least 25 feet away and across two sales counters and two of her employees; indredible, absolutely incredible! Following me and pestering me just builds resentment and resistance.

I have three Berninas, none purchased there.

_________
Steve Johnson

I have no problem with them hovering as I'm real good at ignoring them. They soon would get discouraged by my lack of participation in their conversation and walk away. If I need something, I'll ask

The only LQS near me is like that, except they didn't seem to hover to be helpful, more like they are waiting for me to shoplift. And I don't carry a big enough purse for a bolt of fabric. I deliberately stayed away from the section with notions & patterns just because the hovering makes me so nervous I was afraid they would start to search my purse. I would always leave depressed & feeling as though I looked like the poster grandma of shoplifters. A gift shop near me also did that, beautiful glassware for gifts but I tried shopping there twice, couldn't stand to go back. Same with the LQS, I just stopped going there, do my shopping online, can browse for hours with anyone hovering.
I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive, maybe I wasn't dressed properly or I looked too ethnic that day but friends who look very well dressed & white also had the same experience. It is a shame because both shops lost customers who were willing to pay for quality. The gift shop closed & I heard rumors the LQS is closing, not sure about that.

"HOVERING AND TRAILING" as one poster put it. That drives me nuts whether it's a clerk in a store OR a waitress hoovering over us at a meal. I have been known to politely say to a pesty server "Thanks.. I'll flag you down if we need anything else".

To the overly helpful LQS owner I'd politely say "Thank you, but I do MUCH better if left to browse on my own. I'll let you know if I need help".

At least these helpful folks are erring on the "positive side"...and not being overtly rude. NOW.. if your polite comment triggers a negative response...then.. I'd for SURE spend my money elsewhere.