My DH passed away in August and I haven't been near my sewing room since he took ill in June. We both quilted and he and I would shop for fabric, supplies etc together. In fact he was the one who usually cleaned up the sewing room because if it wasn't neat he couldn't work in there.
I have been piling everything I didn't need in there and now it is a real mess and I can't bring myself to clean it out.l Ireally need encouragement to do this. Both of us had UFO's that have to be finished and I so badly want to go it there, but for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. Have any of you had a situation like this and what did you do to motivate yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Just take baby steps. A little at a time. It will be enjoyable again I promise.
Blessings
Amy

I felt the same way about my mom's things, until I realized it made me sadder not to take care of things for my dad than leaving it be. Just had to set my mind and wade in. You may have to start with small steps and leave the room when it's too much. Play some kind of upbeat, happy music. Blessings and kind thoughts to you. Good luck.

Go in with a box. Fill that box and go out to another room. Start to sort. When done return and do the same. Eventually the space will become friendly again and the rush of memories won't sit on you so heavily as you sit in the room trying to do this.

I find a fresh air place (cold or not open a window or get air moving). Invite a friend to the "new space" for coffee, but the sorting must be yours; perhaps they will visit as you work as well.

This is a tough, but not impossible time. I am with you and know that you will find peace soon.

So sorry for your great loss! How wonderful that you both did sewing/quilting!! Maybe you can work on some of the UFO's so you can keep them as special momentos. What a treasure! Take it one step at a time, and keep your faith and courage. You will get stronger! Hugs to you~

August wasn't that long ago. Don't beat yourself up. Try to straighten things a bit each day. Looking at all those things will make you cry, but it will probably make you laugh, too. It sounds like there are many happy memories in there. Just think how wonderful you will feel when you finish up one of his UFO's and cuddle on the couch with it.

So sorry for your loss.Do you have a family member or buddy that quilts? If so , have a remembrance/organizing party. When my GM passed away, my mom , aunt & I had a remembrance party, we cried, laughed & ate and remembered the good times all while we sorted and organized. We all agreed that we never could have done it alone. Once everything had been sorted, it was easy to tackle whatever needed doing. Looking back it helped me deal with her passing and I made other memories with my mom & aunt. Will add you to my prayer list.

I would first take your UFO's and put them together in a safe place. A nice place. Just let them rest there. If that means the tote needs to go to another room for awhile, then do that.

And then, I'd go pet your fabric stash. I assume you both had a shared stash....I'd visit it. And just sort. Whatever your favorite method is...get all the blues together. Get all the 30's repros together. Just *enjoy* the stash. You don't have to DO anything to it. Think of it as a walk down memory lane.

Of course "other stuff" that doesn't belong in the sewing area needs to go. Could it be a way to "hide" the fact that your hubby has passed on? Like, not looking at the empty space means that it's not really real? I dunno...that's something for you to think about. And, you may not have the answer today, tomorrow, or next week. Take all the time you need.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your hubby. It's been such a short time and you still need time to heal. Just take baby steps!

I am so very sorry for your loss, my thoughts will be with you.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone here has offered great suggestions. Just take baby steps, maybe a few minutes each day for now.

When my Mother passed away (who always had a needle, thread and a quilt block in her hand) I had to go in and pack up her items. It was over whelming but with family and friends I got through it. I've slowly unpacked the boxes over the years and now, 6 years later, it gives me great comfort to come across something she had made or was in the process of making.

Big hugs from SC

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with others here take it a little at a time. If tidying the room is too much right now, I would take a small project that you have had in mind, maybe not one that was started before your husband's illness and work on it perhaps in another room and I am sure you will soon find your passion for quilting returning.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to go do something alone that you once did together. {{hugs}}

I can't offer anything more than everyone else has said - take baby steps, a little at a time - and support, prayers and hugs.

Im so sorry for your loss. I agree with what a lot of others said, just take baby steps, Aug. was not that long ago. Im new to the world of quilting and I have found that my mind can think of NOTHING else except the project that Im working on. Getting those seems to all line up is HARD! Some one else suggested starting a small project and working in another room may get your passion back. I think it sounds like a great idea.
Know that we are all here for you to offer support, prayers and cyber hugs.

there are some beautiful, thoughtful suggestions here. You might serendipitously find Comfort in that sewing room; a re-discovered Closeness to the one you love... blessings to you on this part of your journey. Look for it. Expect it. Embrace it. <3

(((HUGS))) It isn't easy getting back into the swing of things... set small realistic goals, a little each day. Maybe make a list? Once you cross off the first few items, it is easier to see that you are making progress (((HUGS)))

Do you have a family member or a friend that you could ask to organize or clean it up for you? That's the only way I could do it.

So sorry for your loss. I can not imagine how you feel. Lots of good suggestions here.

I lost my Mom earlier this year. She is with me more then ever. I live 2000 miles from her; she had been in a nursing home many years. My brother cleaned her apartment when she went to nursing home. Little things that I would have liked to keep are gone.

However I asked for and have her sewing machine.Little did I know then how precious it would become to me. The machine sat neglected for many years. Last month my machine needed to be hospitaslized and a quilt needed finished. I dug out Mom's machine a 1957 Singer 320. DH took apart, cleaned oiled. It worked better then new. Quilt came out almost flawless. It was as if Mom was guiding my hand and the machine. Quilt was for her granddaughter, my niece. Long and short, when the time is right you will know. Do not force healing. If tears come, thats ok. You are healing. The emptyness will always be there, pad it with quilts.

Many hugs

Don't go in there alone. Call a friend and make it a duty to get it cleaned up. Keep only the things that make you happy and either got someone else to finish those projects that you want to see done but hurts too much to do it, or give them away. Change things around so it doesn't look like it did before. Have the room make you happy filled with happy memories. August is recent and it still hurts, but the quicker you get on with it the better you will feel. Do you have a quilting buddy? Maybe one of your kids can help. When you are lone you tend to think. With company is easier to deal with it.

So sorry for your loss. This is normal from what I have heard from others. You are still grieving. It's ok. It will come. Sending hugs and any time you want to talk more about it, contact me. Sometimes talking it out helps. A friend of mine lost her husband months ago--she just is now starting to set up a sewing place and trying to move in that direction. Her hubby did not quilt with her. Sending hugs.

My suggestion, not unlike the others already given, is to break it down into smaller bits. Many small bits make a whole. The other is to do things that encourage you, using the "Mind over Matter" motto. Every person is different. Sorry for your loss, relish the good memories of the past and with moving forward you will be making new memories that may well include your quilting past with your departed husband.

So sorry about your loss. I agree with all who are saying to take gentle steps and have a good friend around to support you.

When my first husband died (thirteen years ago), my mum said a very wise thing to me: "You'll be grieving for a while, but grieving is important. Know that there's a shift after six weeks, and another after three months... and another after a year." I didn't believe her at the time, but found it very true.

I went through his and our things step by step - some objects felt easy, even important to let go; others I boxed for sorting through later. I'd get a box or two out each time I felt it was good top take another step. It helped me honour my feelings and memories, in my own time. Having a friend present for one of the hardest steps (for me, going through a box full of photos deciding what to let go and what to keep) was a lifesaver to me: I could share feelings and snatches of story as they came up.

Good luck, and love to you! Going through things at a gentle pace can bring you unexpected treasures and healing.

My MIL just passed away and my FIL is staying motivated by doing the things that my MIL loved. This keeps her memory alive, instead of thinking of it as doing things without her, he thinks, if she were here she'd be doing this. She'd be upset if I wasn't still doing this.

Prayers coming your way, maybe it is just too soon. I think that you will wake up one day and you will know it is the day that you can handle going in the room you both enjoyed. Take care

Very sorry for your loss, this is a very hard time for you.
Remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. everyone must do it their own way.You will know when the time is right to sort the room out. You might be able to do it all at once or a little bit at a time, whatever is right for you!
Colleen

My sympathy in the loss of your husband. Such a hard time to get thru.Don't worry about what you do or don't feel like doing.Just do what feels right if only for a few mins.Wishing you times when the memories bring smiles insted of tears.But for now, cry when you need to.....it's too be expected,a part of all our lives.

My condolences on your loss... It has not been that long so please do not feel that you need to rush in and organize all at once. But think of it this way. When it is cleaned again it will be a place where you can go and enjoy memories of time spent together. I envy you having had a husband that enjoyed sharing hobbies with you.

I was thinking the same thing....August has just not been that long ago. For the first year, every day you make it through the grief you have done GREAT! Giver yourself a break. If you really need to get the room straight try the one box at a time method or ask a friend or group of friends to come help. Whatever works for you right now is the "right way" to do it. So sorry for you loss.

I too am so sorry for your recent loss. I am with the others that said to take little baby steps, one at a time. You had something so special that the two of you shared together. Thoughts and prayers are sent to you. One day at a time...

My condolences on your loss. I have no idea why this popped into my head as I read your posting, but here's one person's way of coping with the loss of his loved one. George Burns and Gracie Allen, according to him, had twin beds. After her death he was unable to sleep until one night he got up, went into her bed, and feeling especially close to her presence he found the solution to his problem.

If you and your husband used to sit and quilt together and each had his/her own space, give it a try. Move to his space and see if it gives you some comfort. And when you're ready you can start sorting and re-arranging knowing he's still there with you.

As I said, I don't know why I thought of this but hope it gives you something to think about. Sent with best wishes.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I also agree with all of the wonderful advice given here and I echo the advice of "kclaus," I keep thinking, "what would your husband have wanted for you now?" I can't help but believe that he would have definitely wanted you to continue to enjoy the craft that you both shared. Do it for him, whenever you are ready, organize that room, a little at a time and do it with pride. This was a craft you shared with him, carry it on, if for no other reason initially than to honor him. They say that's one of the best ways to honor those that have passed on, do the things he loved to do, keep your sewing craft active, happy and full of joy. I just believe that this is what he would have wanted for you. Something tells me that he would not have wanted you to stop enjoying what you love to do, what you both loved doing together.

(((HUGS))) to you, the healing will come in its own time. In the meantime, smile for him, be happy for him, enjoy your life for you, it's want he would have wanted for you.

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs.

I just want to send you a hug. I don't know if I could go in there either.

My heart breaks for you. I so wish I lived near you and could help you in this sad journey. May God send his loving angels to surround you in love.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 years ago at the age of 61. What keeps me going is this: I know he is happy in heaven and I could not wish him back to this crazy, crazy world. He is too good for all this selfish, uncaring world that we are living in today.
So I suggest you be happy for him where he knows the peace and happiness promised to us, and you do the best you can to serve our Lord. May God bless and keep you.

I agree with " quiltsbykandy" comments. Take your time sorting the room,
save UFO's you both worked on and perhaps after finishing them, present
as remembrance gifts to family. As you get organized, you will enjoy your quilting again. All who have also had your experience deeply sympathize
with you.

I lost my hubby Sept 30th and am having the same problem. Though we didn't quilt together I knew that he was sitting there watching tv listening to the sewing machine hum in the background. I have not been able to spend any time in my sewing room and have no desire to quilt. I always thought that quilting would be my refuge when his time came, but it has not been the case. I'm sorry for your loss. It must have been wonderful to share your passion of quilting with him. Though my hubby did not quilt he always encouraged and praised my work. Hopefully we will get thru this. God Bless.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many good suggestions here but I like (1st) taking your time and (2nd) getting a friends help.

We lost my FIL in July and are dealing with the same sort of thing with 88 year old MIL.

(((Hugs)))

Thank you all for your comments and support, I really am overwhelmed by all your caring and love. I brought the subject up at my grief counseling group last night. Their thought was that when I am ready to do this I will do it and not force the issue. I think there is something to that theory.I find having his clothes in the closet very comforting and haven't thought of giving them away. However last night I donated two of his winter jackets to the needy, so I think the same principle applies. When I am ready I will be able to do it. Thank you all.

Another thought, amongst all these very good ones! You might trying moving your machine & sewing in another room for a bit. If you are alone now, maybe out in your front room, kitchen area. I would think that might help. Good luck & let us know what works for you!...