Don't get me wrong, I love my husband for insisting I get my LA because I wanted it. I have been working hard at learning how to use it. He thought I should be able to just go for it and make money. He doesn't have a clue what's involved. I love it and want to do this for money but not only that. I really enjoy doing the quilting. I feel like I have to fight for my time to quilt which doesn't help. When he wanted a boat, we bought a boat. It sits there 99% of the time. It certainly hasn't helped catch enough fish to justify the price. Also the $600 cross bow that he had to have for Christmas last year that is still decorating the corner of my living room-not even fired. He really doesn't deny me what I want if we can do it, not that I ask very often but why do I have to justify it? I got the camera I have wanted for over 30 years because I am the photographer for my EHC club. Why can't wives just have expensive toys?

A M E N !! :thumbup:

They can! and DON'T feel guilty about it! Life is short, enjoy your LA, earn money with it when you can - but don't stress over it! :thumbup:

Good questions!!!

My hubby supports my habits. I do limit myself though because we are like the majority of ppl, wanna get out of debt!

I remind my husband of this very fact...he spends money on his hobbies, but sometimes gets a little annoyed when I spend money on mine. I tell him "fair is fair and I'm spending my overtime money only". But why should I have to justify? He needs to get over it!!! LOL

I got my long arm by looking at the corvette in the garage. We can't drive it often because: it's raining. It's going to rain. it might rain. it rained last week etc.
I told him that even if I quilted 5 quilts a year it would get used more that that car, and I wouldn't be paying for collision insurance to boot!

Tell him he needs to give people paid boat rides while you're quilting for hire LOL

:thumbup: :thumbup:

My hubby said something once about burning all the books I have and don't need etc. I told him we'd start the fire with those baseball cards he has. He's never said another word.

Fair is fair.

Hahaha love this one!! :thumbup: :thumbup:

I like your line of thinking !!

Boys & toys...

I know I always think I have to make money to pay for my quilting and embroidery, seems I just can't have fun and use it for my own enjoyment. You are right about men buying expensive toys and then just letting it sit, no way do think I need to make money to pay for my hobby.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

My husband said almost the same thing, he has a motorcycle not a boat.

We can and I do, and my husband knows better than to argue the point. Not with all his expensive camping gear and computer equipment around the house. Sounds like you need to say exactly what you wrote to your husband.

Love all these replys. Here is a few more. What about husbands that golf? Do they all make money from golfing? Do they really NEED all those clubs? Another one is motorcycles. Don't get me wrong, I love to ride on our bikes but how can one person ride more than one bike at a time? My DH loves to buy cheap with intentions of fixing up and resaleing. Yea, right. Ask how many have actually been resold. Well, a hobby is just that, a hobby. Not an income. My DH always wants to know how much I'll have to sell to pay for whatever I want. The next time I'm going to say zero, it's my hobby and I just want to enjoy life! Love you all. CarmenGsTreasures.etsy.com

ya got some "really good" chuckles there...especially starting the fire with the baseball cards--
now THAT's being Assertive!

speak to him, he sounds like a very reasonable and kind man from your description.

i don't see why you should hold these feelings in and express them to people on a board when you could be talking to your DH.

i'm sure if you explained it to him just like you did here he would agree with you and your relationship will be better for it.

My problem is my dh doesn't spend money on himself. He has no expensive hobbies, he's super frugal. When he bought his new bike he bought me one to. When he bought a new computer, he bought me one the following year. So it's hard for me to justify buying expensive toys for myself.

He's a gamer, and only plays the free ones on line. So I don't even have WoW to compare it to.

For me its the opposite. My wife questions why I buy fabric. So I've been trying to let her pick things out with me online.

But once in a while something catches my eye, and I have to sneak a purchase in. In fact, today I'm "working from home" so I can get the mail with the new fabric before she sees it.

Looking at it from another angle....when the two of you were deciding on purchasing the LA, did you ever mention that you hope to make money from doing others quilts on it? Especially trying to justify why it was needed or could be used? If you did, it might have been that you put the bug in his ear.

DH and I each have "fun money" -- it generally works for our hobbies but something like a LA would have to come out of general savings/budget/credit.

amen,us girls need toys also

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! I like the line I'll help you start your business but I want my money back!!!! If I could count and have the money my husband has spent on his business (which went belly up by the way) I'd be rich!

I don't justify anything, and if I want something bad enough and hubs seems to not be warm to the idea I just save up and buy it myself. (saving might mean he'll be eating cereal for dinner for a yr!)
Life is very short. All I do is ask myself: 1. do I really want it? (I never ask if I need things because when I go down that road well, really all I "need" is food and water!)2. Will I ever use it? (I have way too much "stuff" and I have to keep up w/ dusting around it!) 3. Can I afford it w/o making a debt? (I almost always buy things after saving up for all or most all of the cost of it.)

I did get him to buy a riding lawn mower several yrs ago. I did most of the lawn mowing/ raking. (I prefer outside to inside work!)I finally said no more, he could do it or hire it done. (we have close to an acre yard to mow, and I was pushing a mower.) Well, on 4th of July w/e he was going to mow, had trouble starting the mower, it was over 100% out, and after just the front he said, lets ride around town and look for someone for hire - well, the 4th after all -lol.
of course there was no one mowing!
we road right to the John Deere dealer and had a mower in the yard in an hr! Now, I hardly get a chance to mow - he loves his toy!! sharet

oh, my next big spend will be a complete new set of pots/pans, in stainless steel. He doesn't seem to understand the need of a pot having a lid that fits! All the stuff I have is mismatched every kind of cooking materials you can imagine. Some of mine, some of his wife's some from goodwill - I want one full real set of cookware cus I love to cook.

I've never thought that DH is more deserving then I am to have material things. I love and respect my DH but his pedestal is not higher then mine.

I was just going to suggest that "he" open a charter service and take people out fishing. HeHe!!

M E N!!!!!!!

I don't have this issue. We both have some expensive hobbies, and he is perfectly aware that if he gets to spend money on his, I get to spend money on mine!

We actually encourage each other to do what we want which can be dangerous at times, lol.

But it's the same reason I encourage him to go out and do things without me when he wants to. I remember watching clingy jealous girlfriends who would get upset and mad if their boyfriends didn't include them in EVERYTHING they did, even a "guy's night out", but yet would expect their boyfriends to let them have a "girl's night" without the men! Double standard much?

He really likes the fact that I encourage him to do what makes him happy so he is happy to reciprocate :)

Mine same way, only we live on farm. my off farm jobs help pay for diesel fuel and gas to cut, bale and feed the darn cows and horses on this farm. If he says anything, I just remind him that if he wants, he should start his own slush fund to pay for fuel and gas to feed his animals. He shuts up in a hurry. He knows that I don't spend money for junk or blow it to set out in the pasture like some of the stuff he has. He was surprised when he hauled a load of copper and radiators and other scrap down to the scrap yard at how much he got for it. I told him to get busy and get some more gone before someone else decides to come in sometime when we are gone and come back to a bunch missing. Have had stuff stolen here before. Can't seem to catch the thieves either.

We don't have those problems...thank you. Dh has always supported my hobbies just as I support his.

Yes, I did try to justify it. That's my point, why did I feel the need to? He said I could have it if I wanted it. I bought it used and paid cash. It didn't put us in a bind until he lost his job 2 weeks later which no one could have foreseen. I have wanted to quilt for over 30 years and was busy as a single mom with 3 kids, helping them with their children, helping my parents build their house(yes, I did construction), working side by side with DH for several years and now raising his grand daughter which has been quite an experience in itself. I'm not getting younger. If I don't do something for myself that I want to do, I'll soon be too old and too crippled to. Quilting helps keep me sane. My DH is a wonderful man, he just still sees me as super human and able to do it all and I'm not. I don't have a problem doing some for pay but I want the freedom to do it my way, when I feel ready. I made my post because I knew there would be some great comments from people who have similar feelings, not to complain about my DH. He can't help that he doesn't get it.

Yeah, he can't help that he doesn't get it. He is a MAN, after all.
And to whoever said he must be a kind & caring man - LOL! Sorry but he's my brother & I know him pretty well. He may be kind at times but a lot of times he's just a butt.
Selena, don't try to justify it any more. Just do the quilts you want to do, make money when you want to. And tell him all these things about his boat & such that other folks have posted. Quilting is fun when you don't have customers wanting to tell you how to do it.
Oh! I'll be sending you one soon. Probably at the end of next week. And I won't be "one of those" customers! LOL

EXACTLY! :-D :thumbup:

so, have you asked him these questions??
perhaps if you did he would stop and think about it- and the problem would be solved.

The important thing is being overlooked. You got the longarm. I say jump in and start your business. I sent a quilt to a gal, I was her first customer. She told me in advance that she was new to the game. Showed me her quilts. And her prices. But for what she offered she did well, I'd use her again, she can only get better. I say put your name out there. If you wait till your are Quilt show worthy that could take years. And tell honey to get the boat out tonight because your gonna be quilting and he needs to catch supper to make that boat pay for itself. I'm lucky my honey brings home fish and whatever else HE wants to fry up. Good luck with your long arm business!

It's just a "guy" thing and they really just don't get it. My DH has many of the same ideas and it's my money that I'm spending. He thinks all of my stitching is a waste of time unless it is for him. If his coveralls need a zipper or a business associate has a new baby, he certainly doesn't hesitate to ask me to make a gift. He also doesn't understand my teaching. His first question is always "Well are they going to pay you?" Sometimes I do teach and get paid and sometimes it is voluntary but it bugs me that he always asks because it is my choice!

Good comeback. :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

My hubby tells me I can have what we can afford as long as it doesn't creep into the man cave.

No kidding....my husband has 8 fly rods costing anywhere from 250 to 800 each and when I got my Janome MC7700 for my 50th birthday, I had to sell my MC4900 to help pay for it. Not sure that's fair....