From Norah's comment in "The first quilt I made was...." topic, about people who don't appreciate quilts...
Way back when I first started quilting, we did a log cabin Christmas tree wallhanging in my quilt class. I thought, "This is terrific! A quilt small enough that I can actually make some for Christmas presents!" It was a fairly simple pattern, cream tone on tone background, green tree, brown tree trunk. Used Christmas prints, red & gold border, then tied some tiny ornaments on with some cream colored, skinny satin Offray ribbon. I thought they came out pretty cool! Gave one to my sister, she LOVED it (isn't it great to have creative sisters! :-) ). Gave the other one to my Stepmom for her & Dad's new 'snowbird' house in AZ. I thought she liked hers too, Dad loved it (he's a retired carpenter & can appreciate straight lines, lol, and HIS Grandmother was a quilter). Like I said, I thought she liked it...until one day, when Dad brought me some boxes of things that had been my Grandma's, for my sisters & I....and I found some of the things wrapped in that wall hanging!!! :hunf: Nice, huh? Also, in between when I gave her the wallhanging & this happening, she asked me to make her 2 identical twin bed quilts (big enuf for a full drop to the floor) in fall colors. I am NOT a fall color kinda gal, so it was tough. When I finished them (and I think she expected they would be a week's work), she accepted them from me....then tried to give them to my aunt! (I took them back & donated them to the local YWCA battered women's shelter) ahhh well, all's well that ends well. Live & learn.
Thanks for letting me vent! :D

sue

Gosh, what an experience! But I know what you mean, my mom doesn't quilt, doesn't sew, thinks it's work. I get the feeling she's waiting for me to get over this "quilting thing", so I can do something "productive". I crocheted an afghan for her many years ago, and she lets the dog make his bed there. Oh well. I just don't make things for her anymore, but I wish I could and she would appreciate it.
Julie

I half way expected something else, rather than what you wrote. What I heard you say is that some people have no idea how much work goes into a quilt. therefore, they do not value the part of you that you put into making the quilt. As a Mother, I am thrilled that my 2 non-sewing daughters value the quilts I have made for them. I feel your pain that you were not valued and appreciated for the time (and talent) that went in to making the quilts.

Now, on the other side, probably because of my age, I have had a bit of a problem understanding how a wall hanging can be a quilt. My personal definition of a quilt is a "cover" for on a bed. Wall hangings and place mats are items to be quilted, but for me, they do not qualify as a quilt.

Now I know I have just stirred the Hornet's nest, but I think I can take it. We all have our personal preferences in many areas, and quilting is one. Many years ago I thought a quilt had to be made by hand, so I had resigned myself to never making a quilt, until dear Eleanor Burns came on my TV screen and showed me they can be made by machine. She truly liberated me from that old idea. So who knows, maybe I will be liberated from the idea that a quilt it something to sleep under in the winter time so our slumber is cozy and peaceful.

Words from an old lady who enjoys making and giving quilts to keep people warm and cozy!... June in Cincinnati

Yeah, June.... no hornets nest out of me...I've heard it all....I tie many of my quilts or machine quilt them and some people refuse to call them quilts because they are tied and not hand quilted! go figure!

I don't have a problem with your definition June, if we all looked at things the same way, how boring would the world be!?! LOL But, playing a bit of the devil's advocate - is the quilt I made for the cat still a quilt - since it 'covers' her bed - even though it's only about 18" X 24"? It is pieced, layered with batting & backing, quilted & bound. It's small, but it does cover a bed! :wink:
There's surely room for all of us, piecers, appliquers, tied quilts, hand & machine quilted, large & small! What the heck, I just learned last year that ever since there were treadle sewing machines, there have been machine-quilted quilts! I like to use that one with the "hand-quilt only" purists..hee hee hee! :lol:

sue

I made a quilt for my sister, about 13 yrs ago. I used some crochet motifs that had been handed down to me, from her husbands G-mother. I sewed each motif to a block and then made a quilt with the blocks, in her favorite colors, (my sister). At that time I only did hand quilting, so needless to say the quilt was hand quilted. I found out that she let her dog chew it up and then threw it away. I've never made my sister another quilt. But on the other side of the coin, The first quilt I made my daughter-n-law, Well her G-mother, (nanny) seen the quilt and sat her down and told her the value of a quilt, how to take care of it and how to treat it. She has 5 to date and begs for more. But the experience I had with my sister almost made me quit quilting, My feelings where hurt for along time, But I'm thankful I did'nt give into my feelings. I've been very pickie from that point on, Who I give my babies to.

I have been a quilter for over 20 years and just about everyone in my family has received quilts from me, be it baby quilts for heir new born, wall quilts oor bed quilts. What hurt the most was the year I spent months making a quilt for my mom. I used the grandmothers flower garden concept but just the center and one set of outer "petals'. I transferred a phot to each center piece. (back then, the only way to do it was heat transfer, but I did it--family photos in the cnete of each flower. She and my dad were on the very center flower. It was done in peaches and soft greens, the exact colors of her guest bedroom. She flew to NC for a visit one May, mothers day weekend. I was sooo excited I couldn't wait to give it to her. Well, she was polite enough while at my house, but once she got it home, stuck it in the closet. Its never seen daylight since. That hurts as much as someone misusing a quilt. But even more because it was done with a lot of love for her, hand quilted even--full size. So I send her flowers from the florist now and never a handmade gift!
Now I feel better because I got that off my chest. Thank You Friends!

This subject has brought up some painful memories. Each of you did what you thought was right and if your recipients (even Moms) don't appreciate your gift. You know, in your heart, that you did the "right": thing, because it was your own personal desire to make a gift of love.

We pass through this life with lots of hurts and others seldom seem to know how much pain they cause. This, for me, equates with an unfaithful husband. You have done all the right things, been loving and kind and bared your soul, and then they tromp on your feelings. I know that one from experience. I will never feel the same toward the man who nearly destroyed me. But, we are WOMEN and we know how to move past this stuff and go on to bigger and better things. ONWARD!!! Venting helps.

Each of you is a precious woman in her own right. Others will see your value and you will be blessed.

I wish for each one of you the Very Best of this day.

June

When I was a beginning quilter, I used to give quilts to almost anyone under the sun. I welcomed the opportunity to practice different techniques and learn with each quilt. Now that my quilts represent much more experience and craftsmanship, I only give them to recipients I feel will appreciate the time and effort that went into them. No more hurt feelings on this end.

I wish we could have a group hug right now. I haven't had the quilt pain but goodness knows I've had plenty others. So glad we have each other to lean on.
kathy

I will always feel that people who treat our items badly are just jealous of the artistic ability that each one of us has. And I feel that quilters are true artistes.
I see it every week when I set up my booth, that there will always be that one person who walks by and makes some snide remark about my quilt items. But thats ok, because I have alot of people that come see my things every week and appreciate everything that I make.


To all of my true artist quilt buddies, have a great day!!!!!

This subject has been an interesting read this morning. I grew up with a paternal grandmother who spent just about every waking hour during her last 20 years crafting quilts for others and crocheting. So I value anything handmade - no matter how good or bad. When I married 30+ years ago, my m-i-l, her sister & mother and her m-i-l all were quilters. I was soon recruited to help whenever a quilt was set up in the spare bedroom. This just reinforced my appreciation for this art form. As most of you already know, we found a wonderful quilt stash after my m-i-l died. My s-i-l and I took the time to photo document all the quilts. When we were in the process of doing this, my b-i-l's wife stuck her head in the bedroom to see what we were doing. Her comment???????? Why all they are good for is to keep you warm when you are in bed! Meanwhile my s-i-l & I could recount things we learned - stitch length, matching corners, unique patterns, commardrie (sp) that was enjoyed at the mini quilting bees.
Maybe this isn't exactly what this topic is about but I thought it was similar.

me too :!:

Wow, this one brought up so many memories. But the worst is the ones are of things I've made my son, grandchildren that my dil uses for the animals or leaves out in the weather. I made all of the children afghans, quilts, etc. Even made her some, but I've found them in the animal beds, in the basement mildewed, and even thrown to the porch and let in the weather. I told my son no long ago when the girls asked for new quilts that I would make them and keep them here for when they have their own homes. They WILL learn to appreciate my work and anyone else' work or they will not receive them. He understands but stands by and allows it to happen. Makes no sense does it?


I wish that group hug were able to happen, too!

To June6995, My heart truly goes out to you. To the others who have been hurt by thoughtlessness, I am sorry for you too. I have been making and giving handmade gifts for 30 plus years and have experienced this too, like June said, we must move on. For newbies let this thread be a lesson- Be careful who you give heartfelt items to,they may not have a heart to feel. For the rest of us-Chins up, needles at the ready, keep smiling and quilting!

Never in my life have I felt so close to so many people whom I count as friends that I haven't ever seen before. WE ARE KINDRED SPIRITS. WE have a love for quilts and the making of them that keeps us close, like sisters and brothers. Maybe that is why we get our feelings hurt once in a while, but it is definitely what brings us together in love and friendship. We get our group hug every day that we read this forum, and I thank you all for that. You are all a big part of my life.

My mom is 86. My story happened 10 or 11 years ago. Now all she ever says is what do you want out of the house when I am gone. I always have said--nothing--just a small momento--I have 6 siblings and do not care to get into squabbling over what she has aquired in her lifetime. The last time I was asked this question, (last Thanksgiving) I said, I just want the quilt back and she said"what quilt" So it opened an old wound wide open once again. Its one thing to rationalize about her age, memory, etc, but its hard to BE rational about it. Its over,done, and time to move on, but it just goes to show that no thought was ever given to the amount of work that went into making that quilt. So like everyone else that has been hurt, by people not appreciating their work, I am very, very careful who gets them now.

You have inspired me, I'll make the animals the three dogs, 2 cats, and a bird their own quilts. Wonder if the humans will use them? lol lol lol We have to laugh and look for the good things as you've all said inadvertantly. We're the family we wish we had in life.

Thanks for all the encouragement and admiration. Even if we wouldn't use the same colors, the same patterns, the same stitches, we can APPRECIATE the love and effort. THAT is the beauty of each of you to me.

Now pass the tissues and the thread, I'm working hard to finish the first of the BOMs...

XOXOXOXO

we got a new chihuahua last june and was always cold as she was so tiny..so, as soon as the weather turned cool i made her a quilt for her crate..duh!! she had it all chewed it up in about month .it's just a holy rag now..lol, but she still loves cuddling up in it..i'm thinking of making her another bbut i'll wait till her chewing phase is OVER...suzanne

have you ever looked at the state of some kids' favorite quilts and binkies? all those holes and tears and stains just mean they love them to pieces.

(what? you think i can go to bed without one of my awful puns? unthinkable. LOL)

Wow, what a moving topic. I feel everyone's pain and want a part of that great big group hug.

When I was about 9, my grandmother's twin sister (my great aunt) gave a hand pieced and hand quilted bed size quilt. I used it for years then eventually not "understanding" the meaning and love of a quilt, it wound up torn, used for picnics, etc. I am now ashamed to admit that I eventually tossed it out. Years and years later, now being a quilter, I would give most anything for that opportunity to love and take care of that quilt properly. I was so young and my Mom I guess didn't "understand" the meaning of it either. Times like this when I am reminded of it and really think about it, it pains me deeply.

I did however do some good as I was able to "rescue" my brother's baby quilt that my grandmother made for him. It has some tears and holes but, I don't intend to repair it. It stays put away and I pull it out every now and again to love it, imagine MaMa hand piecing it with all the love she put into it and put it away again.

All that being said has made me not want to make and give away quilts. I have only given 3 to my parents (my Mom does "understand" now) and 1 to my sister, and 2 for new babies. I have made over 60 but, I just keep filling up my closets. I know that when my girls are older (I have 3) I will divide them among them and they will all love them appropriately.

Hugs to everyone!

I have just started making quilts. The first was for my bed, the second I gave to my son, It looked used and abused when I finished. I hand quilted andf that looks funny to. He was thrilled with it. It was very colorful. at first he used it just to look at, now they cover up with it, eventually it will be on the floor with the kids , then camping , left out in the rain. Then I will say" look what you did with my gift" and laugh. I know they will be used and abused......but I went beyond that stuff, how about one oif those kids gets cancer, or your child has an accident. Not many think highly of your work unless they create also. Ask before you give what would you rather have?
I just want to say that I have had so many bad things happen in my life that I had no control over that I promised myself not to harbor resentments.................One more thing "now I really appreciate quilts, wall hangings, table toppers.........I will give them a good home"
love you all smile for me :D

One sure thing about quilters, is their generosity and ability to share. This seems to go beyond quilting. It is obvious that we also are able to share the lessons of life, our pains, our triumphs and not least of all our hearts. This topic has again reinforced my belief that quilters rock!!!

Some of the stories I read were very touching and painful to witness. I agree we move on, but admit to having experienced frustration in making a special quilt that was put away 'because it too good to be used' or replaced with a cheap blanket because the mother didn't think it was warm enough. I am grateful to belong to this sisterhood of quilters (that includes Tim), who can support each other in this forum. Please accept this group hug from me. (((((((((QUILTERS))))))))))))))

I think that almost any crafter/sewer/ artist has a story or two to share. One of my quuilts got eatten by a pot -belly pig. Owned by a friend that knew better. Another friend found hers in a pets bed, I guess people with pets want the very best for them (the pets). LOL But if some one recieves a quit and then passes it on at hopefully it will eventully end up with an appricative person.

June; ROFLMAO (an abbreviation just learned from Patrice) I understand completely. I think it is a matter of semantics. I too. think a Quilt is something you can cover a bed with. But, like you said the other items such as place mats etc can be quilted. So a place mat is a "Quilted" place mat. A jacket is a Quilted" jacket and a wall hanging becomes "Quilted" Fabric Art. :lol:

Those people who did not value a handmade gift, well I'm sorry to have to say it! But, frankly speaking, there just has to be something WRONG with those people. I still have an abundance of my daughter's pre-school art work in my files. Certain pieces were even framed. And I have high school works of her art framed as well. And a pillow she hand cross-stitched. I can tell you if she ever made me a quilt (of any size) or afghan (whatever) it would not be left to the dogs. I think Tricia's absolutely correct. They are all just jealous! AND We are artist's! 8) 8)

Hi all, I have read, but never replied before. Had to this time. I too know the pain of not having my work not appreciated or understood. Last month I visited my son and d-i-l. iwas having a lovely time. My d-i-l ever gave me a bundle of wonderful 6 in. squares of Hawaiian fabrics that someone had given her. Boy, was I elated!!!! ( a budding quilter in the family, oh yea). I asked if she would like some instructions. "No,but thank you very much anyway Mom.Way too much work." O.K. I can deal with that. "Would you like me to make a quilt with these squares or any other fabric for you?" I asked. She smiled that cute as a button smile and replies," That would be great Mom, I can put it on the dog's couch to keep the couch from getting to dirty and hairy from shedding." Got to love her. Thanks for that BIG GROUP HUG. I felt it all the way to Tucson, Az. Pam :D :D

I love making baby quilts and always hope to hear they are being loved. Last week a good friend of mine told me her daughter (who received a crocheted afghan when she was born) fights over the quilt I made her son last year. It has frogs and brights greens and blues and she loves it! Makes me feel good that they love it.

I also make quilts for our family reunions. None have come back to me and I love/hate seeing them go off to new homes, but I love hearing they have all been put in places that show the new owners love them. Last years winner, my cousin Don, had the quilt taken right away by his wife to say it was going on her antique sleigh bed- he couldn't have it! This years quilts are better than ever- as my skills progress, the quilts get bigger and nicer.

Barb

kathy you truly are blessed, because it really does hurt ,when i made a quilt for my neice ,well my sis. threw it away after the dog had her pups.on it .i gave a blue jean quilt to my mother in law and it never saw the light of day either.but i've allso made quilts for people who love and use them, so i guess that out weighs the bad tia sarah

This thread reminds me that quilting is an ongoing learning process. We love what we do, but also share love with a quilt. I expect a baby or child's quilt to be used, abused, dragged and loved. To me that shows it is appreciated. On the other hand, if my love and labor are not appreciated and used, I have learned something. Doesn't mean I am happy with the lesson, but I will not repeat that mistake. So all is good.

Tell your d-i-l that a canvas drop cloth from home depot big enough to cover her couch is probably under twenty bucks. Or even better, buy one for her. Paint it to look like a quilt. And when you give it to her tell her this is dog appropriate quilt art. Maybe she'll get the Idea. Make sure you show her your best quilt work on things that are gifts for other people. I told my hubby I was going to make canvas drop cloth slip covers for our couch because I was tired of the mess. Well guess what! Our dogs do not get on my couch any more! They better not It's brand new and I'm still paying for it! Maybe I'll make one for the bed! :lol: :evil: :lol:

Susan, I like your style!!!!!!!!!
kathy

What a neat idea! Very subtle yet she'll get the point w/out open warfare.

i'am telling you ladies an application. thats what we should pass out and have people fill out before we even think about making them a quilt . i think it would save us a lot of grief and heart ache.

kinda like a pre-nup!

I know from experience that that would have eleiminated several people!

i know thats right