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I used to be accused of being a perfectionist; my dad always used to so "if you're going to do a job- do it right or not at all". Never explaining it but as I aged I realized if not done right then someone has to come along behind you and do it right. But I too have come to realize done is better than a UFO.
And I guess I could say I am less than a casual housekeeper; it's a never-ending, thankless job and has to be done over and over and over. It So interferes with sewing and quilting and embroidery and any of our other fun hobbies! And all the gals or most any way in my monthly sewing class agree. Wish I could afford to hire someone to come in and clean a couple times a month! Glad to see I have a Lot of company. Keep quiltin' ladies! |
Originally Posted by bearisgray
(Post 8263118)
I have higher personal standards for some things than others.
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I feel like there's a balance to keep. I strive for perfect, but know and accept that it's not going to happen. So, it's a matter of whether I can accept the time and effort it would take to make it better. Sometimes I feel like it's worth re-doing something; sometimes I don't.
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I agree that if I've done my very best, then it makes me happy, even tho I'll never achieve perfection!
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I saw a sign in a store yesterday and it was not a fabric store that said something like Better done and not perfect than not done at all. I try to be perfect but if I get too stressed over it I just say good enough.
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I tend to be a perfectionist, but that doesn't mean I need things to be perfect. I think it means that my satisfaction in doing something comes from doing it right, to the extent that I can. I think we must all have a point when something is 'good enough,' that point is just set in a different place for each person. I definitely have a 'good enough' threshold, and I definitely agree that 'done is better than perfect.'
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First of all, I try to do all my work with intention because it feels right. Some projects and tasks require more effort and skill level. I save those for when I am fresh and ready. When I want to sew but a bit tired, I do chain piecing and lower level concentration tasks.
I know which projects require a higher standard and although I try to do all work well, I know when it is time to move on. Nothing is perfect. Nothing. It is a mental construct. Things can be beautiful, neat, tidy, useful etc but time and matter means everything is in constant flux and something that was perfect in your eye may change quite quickly. I make my quilts to be pleasing to my eye and the eye of the beholder. I want them to be warm and beautiful. Sometimes, I will work on a project made for someone else and work in designs or colors that aren’t my favorite. It stretches me and makes me glad that the recipient is getting the colors and design that is their preference. |
I think it's okay to "own" what we do well. Why downplay ones' abilities and achievements?
As far as what could be done "better" - are we able to change/improve? do we want to improve? does it matter to us (or to anyone near and/or dear to us)? |
Interesting thread. Reading the above comments really makes me stop and think. I think I'm a little of both. And I also grew up with the comment that if you do something do it right or find someone who can. That puts undo stress on most situations imho. I find myself overly critiquing quite often. And when fixing a problem and finding the courage to let it be if it doesn't fix is getting easier. Most everything I do is done well. This includes all aspects of life. I am conscientious about the outcome of all of it. So I do strive to do my best and have found out that so far in this life nothing is perfect. I can live with that.
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Originally Posted by mhollifiel
(Post 8263399)
The quilts in museums like Paducah, KY blow me away. So do those in every quilt show. That said, I have no intention ever to have my quilts shown in either venue. My quilts are destined for use, heavy use. I make those quilts that rest between your sheets and your comforter or spread, never seen but giving love to those who sleep beneath their warmth. My quilts go under your picnic spread. get drug around by toddlers across the lawn and in mud puddles, and find themselves under young teens at the beach. My quilts cover the laps of strangers in retirement homes, show up at fires where a child who has lost her bear is comforted because, serendipitously, the bear on her new quilt looks exactly like the special one she just lost. The quilts I make end up in dog beds and in the backs of cars. They also leave hospitals with children who had the misfortune of being there but often will only sleep with that quilt afterwards. They cover sick family who begin to feel better and enjoy doing seek and find with the fabrics used, only two of each!
Having no artistic gifts, I get by and no one seems to mind that I don't appliqué or paper piece and I use beautifully simple patterns. There's a world of need out there and I don't have time to be that particular. Yes, for me, done is better than perfect. I adore seeing those beautiful quilts in shows and museums but you won't find my quilts there. To my sisters and brothers who are the artists of the quilt world, kudos! Keep up the good work! I am taking care of the other end of the spectrum of quilters and enjoying it. The loving but utilitarian nature of quilting heritage is being taken care of by quilters like me. The quilt world is wide and all inclusive! Hooray for us all! |
Originally Posted by gramajo
(Post 8263435)
I am in the "better done than perfect" camp. I have many many ufos and wanna make quilts on my list, but my cancer has come back and even with chemo have been given only about 20% chance of living more than 2 years. So it's time to prioritize what I'm finishing. First up is to finish quilting a carousel panel I'm making for my someday-to-be first great granddaughter.
p's gramajo...already done :). I like your outlook. It's time to prioritize, times a wastin' and i ain't getting no younger. Let's spread the love. |
Originally Posted by Friday1961
(Post 8263452)
I'm not sure true perfectionists realize they Are perfectionists. They may not think in terms of "perfect" but in "right", as in "there's a right way and a half right way and a wrong way" and always insist on the right way. Is that perfectionism? Perhaps.....although many don't think of it that way. I think we all have a "perfect for me" which may not be the same standard as someone else's "perfect".
I just made a cushion cover for a outdoor chair -- something that didn't matter At All in that I made it only for temporary comfort. I plan to replace all the patio chairs, most of which have no cushions. I had real problems sewing the bottom "plate" on the boxed corners of the top, just couldn't make it work properly and the end result was untidy and "not right". And yet the cushion cover was sewn together and would have been serviceable. But I ripped it out and persevered until I had no folds or wrinkles in those boxed corner seams. Is that perfectionism, OCD, or just my own personal "the right way"? I think the answer to what is "good enough" or "right enough" or even "perfect enough", is found in what the individual is trying to avoid. Some want to avoid leaving a loved one out and hurry a project even if it means points aren't perfect etc. I think some quilters want to avoid having someone else finding a flaw and pointing it out, especially a fellow quilter. Occasionally there are personalities that are driven to excel and just can't relax if they don't think the project is perfect. Could be they need to be better at their craft than the next person Or it could be that they had a parent or elder that always pointed out their mistakes. There are as many reasons for what is acceptable to each of us as there are quilters. Somebody just said it while ago, "there is room for all of us." ditto :). |
Originally Posted by Libits
(Post 8263070)
As some of you might have guessed, I’m working on those darn puppies and, although I’ve come a long way, parts are still giving me fits but I’m getting through it. I mentioned something to my daughter and she lovingly said “Well, if you weren’t such a perfectionist…” Huh? Whaaat??? Then she pointed out that every meal I make is perfect (I don’t see it), every small appliance on my counter is perfectly aligned. Every candle has a perfectly trimmed ¼” wick, blah, blah, blah. I don’t set out to do that, it just happens.
So I was wondering, when it comes to quilting, how many of you are perfectionists and how many of you are good-enoughists? |
Originally Posted by tuckyquilter
(Post 8263515)
I am Far from seeking perfect in quilting, housekeeping etc. "Do My Best" is more pleasing. I'm thinking OCD (it fits with what your DD described). It might also reflect in your clothes closet, how you store other things. LOL. But this in not all that bad. Embrace it and give yourself a treat now and again. Just don't fold the candy bar wrapper neatly before you toss it in the trash..
:eek: I might be in a little 'ocd' trouble. I fold the waxed paper on the sticks of butter when I remove them :D. I just do it without thinking...until you mentioned it. I admit I was very OCD when i was younger. Maybe some things just never really go away completely? Lol, I also have to completely, I mean completely clean my plate and I would have lived my entire life without knowing if my dh and my dd hadn't pointed it out some years ago. Ok, I'm thorough. I don't like waste, lol. Not the same as perfection. I think I don't want butter to get on... the other trash??? :D :D :D |
It takes up less room in the trash container if the paper is folded instead of wadded.
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thank you, bear! I sure hate untidy trash :D.
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I have 'rushed' through a number of quilts when I first started quilting. they looked 'rushed' too. They were much loved by the people that received them as gifts. However now I am known to take a bit more time. I find hand quilting very relaxing and something I can do in the evenings when watching TV. I now only make a few quilts each year and time my time at them. They reflect the right amount of time I spend on them too. Even though I always put my best into my quilting I found that time and experience are my best teachers.
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I liked quilting.....back when I didn't even know there was "Perfect"
I don't even like the word Perfect. |
Depends on the project. Some projects - I'm relaxed and just having fun. I want it to be Right, but don't stress over perfection. I'm just enjoying the whole process, possibly learning new techniques, and embracing my creative soul. Close enough is fine. =)
Other projects (paid projects especially) I work harder to get it right. I don't strive for perfection - but these projects are held to a higher Personal standard. IMO, only God is perfect. I'm very human - therefore happily imperfect. hahaha! All that being said - I'm stressing like crazy over my current quilt projects - 2 memorial quilts for my niece & nephew made from their dad/my brother's shirts. I've never made a t-shirt quilt before - so I'm learning. And I know I can not mess up his shirts. They are one of a kind and irreplaceable. So I'm putting stress & pressure on myself! Ackkk! When I work with the kids on Wednesday nights at my church I had one girl who had to have everything perfect. She stressed over the perfect colors to use on coloring sheets, staying in the lines, etc etc etc. IMO, it took the joy out of it for her. I talked & gently teased her about just letting go & having fun with things. I told her there are no mistakes in arts & crafts - just creative opportunities. She & I still talk & tease about her need for perfection - but I think she learned to relax and enjoy being creative. She is still a straight A student with lots of achievements - but I think she is enjoying the ride more now. To quilt is human, to finish is Divine. Donna Mc |
Mousie, do you save the butter wrappers to grease the bottom of your baking pans?
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Thank you all for your prayers.
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Put me down for both. If I've done something to the best of my ability, given my skill level and the equipment I'm working with............then I've done it to "perfection" in my mind. If I've done something to the best of my ability, given my skill level and equipment................then I've done it "good enough" in my mind.
Jim |
Originally Posted by gramajo
(Post 8263637)
Thank you all for your prayers.
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It’ll never be noticed on a galloping horse and that’s the only kind I ride.
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Gramajo, I was saddened when I read your post this morning. I, too, will be praying for you...xoxo
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Love reading about how perfect should perfect be! While I have been sewing since I was 12, I only started quilting four years ago. I take classes and feel I learn something new each time, or I am reminded of the tips and tricks from previous class. I made a list of projects started and try to finish them all, but at this point nothing is anywhere near perfect once I get past the first block. I chalk it up to my learning status! How long can I hang onto the my beginner mantra?
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I'm not a perfectionist by any standards but I do notice that when I make a quilt I always find something about it that I don't like. However, once it's finished and time passes I tend to forget about whatever bugged me. I'm like that about a lot of things.
I've also noticed that non-quilters don't see mistakes unless they are glaring and mine aren't quite that bad! :) Around the house I'm laid back. I'd like everything a lot tidier than it is but lack the ambition to do it! I'd much rather be sewing or gardening. |
I just try to do the best I can. Some days things just don't want to go my way.
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If it really bothers me, I change it. If it doesn't bother me, I don't.
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I call myself a hobby quilter. Nothing I make by hand is perfect and I'm okay with that. I'm just happy I have time to make things and have an outlet for my creativity.
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Originally Posted by SusieQOH
(Post 8263752)
I'm not a perfectionist by any standards but I do notice that when I make a quilt I always find something about it that I don't like. However, once it's finished and time passes I tend to forget about whatever bugged me. I'm like that about a lot of things.
I've also noticed that non-quilters don't see mistakes unless they are glaring and mine aren't quite that bad! :) Around the house I'm laid back. I'd like everything a lot tidier than it is but lack the ambition to do it! I'd much rather be sewing or gardening. Very interesting thread. I enjoyed reading the thoughts of others. |
Originally Posted by cathyvv
(Post 8263102)
Definitely a 'good-enoughist. Mmy motto is "Done is better than perfect".
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If I waited for perfection, I'd never finish anything! I do the very best I can, and for me, that's good enough!! I think too that we are all our own worst critics!
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Originally Posted by cindi
(Post 8263189)
If you can’t see your mistakes from 6 feet away on a galloping horse, it’s perfect as far as I’m concerned.
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Perfectly said RhondaLee!
I’m the last from a family of 7 and a lot of us are like that. The ones that aren’t…..sure aren’t. My brother next in line to me is the ultimate perfectionist which is pretty handy considering he’s a Literal rocket scientist. His hair stands up if he’s in a room where there’s an 89 degree angle. We went back and forth for 4 days when I told him how to make spaghetti sauce and didn’t give him quantities. ("Whadya mean 'add garlic cloves'?”) Boy, was that an experience. I love all the attitudes on here. I’m trying not to be perfect on the quilting front (not that I ever was—far from it) because I find that trying to make them perfect takes the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy it and find it stressful. But, at the same time, if it’s a gift I want it to be really nice but finding that balance point can be tough. |
Originally Posted by Libits
(Post 8264060)
Perfectly said RhondaLee!
I’m the last from a family of 7 and a lot of us are like that. The ones that aren’t…..sure aren’t. My brother next in line to me is the ultimate perfectionist which is pretty handy considering he’s a Literal rocket scientist. His hair stands up if he’s in a room where there’s an 89 degree angle. We went back and forth for 4 days when I told him how to make spaghetti sauce and didn’t give him quantities. ("Whadya mean 'add garlic cloves'?”) Boy, was that an experience. I love all the attitudes on here. I’m trying not to be perfect on the quilting front (not that I ever was—far from it) because I find that trying to make them perfect takes the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy it and find it stressful. But, at the same time, if it’s a gift I want it to be really nice but finding that balance point can be tough. But there are some dishes/meals/concoctions such as soup, chili, casseroles - that are fairly flexible - but if one does want consistent results, specific amounts of ingredients are helpful. |
Originally Posted by hobbykat1955
(Post 8263156)
If your happy w/it...then it's Perfect!
I like this answer a lot, bc if you worked hard on a quilt, and let's face it, any quilt is work even if we love doing it. You give that quilt to a loved one no matter how you would rate it 1-10 and they think it's a 10. Now isn't that perfection in their eyes? Doesn't that make both of you really happy? My grands have drawn pictures for me and made me things and I think they are perfect just the way they are and wouldn't part with them. I belong to a decorating site on FB and one lady posted a picture yesterday and you were looking at a wall and could see her living room to the left and her dining room to the right. You could clearly tell she had a nice home but her caption said: The best decoration in my house, and it showed a picture drawn on a piece of construction paper and clearly it had I Love You all over it in crayon, not in words but it was there. Awwww!!!! :thumbup: |
Originally Posted by mmunchkins
(Post 8263610)
Mousie, do you save the butter wrappers to grease the bottom of your baking pans?
I hadn't thought of that! But you know, I peel them off so carefully I don't think there is much butter left on them. Oh the things we do without even knowing! That's it - I am going to start having more fun and less fuss :thumbup: ;) |
Oh, this thread is so interesting. I spent my career being a perfectionist, going the extra mile, etc. ... which made me happy then. I found myself trying to be "all things to all people" at work, at home, in life ... until I realized the more I did, the more others "didn't". Haha. I'm a self-taught quilter ... never taken a class mainly because nowhere nearby to take one. So, obviously, I've learned the hard way. I'm like "mhollifiel" stated ... there are too many people in need that can use a quilt so I strive to do "my" best to meet that need while quilting to the best of my ability. That's what makes me happy. Oh, I've ripped many a stitch mostly because something was just too obvious ... but not because it "had to be perfect".
God Bless those who enter Quit Shows. I do love going to see their work and admire their attention to detail and how intricate their work is. |
In my experience a quilt does not need to be perfect to be cherished. Usually, the only one who is aware of its faults is the one who sewed/quilted it.
That said, nothing is ever truly just "good enough" if you have put blood, sweat, and tears into it. It may not be perfection but it's still a job well done. I do understand what the OP meant by good enough though. I just don't want people to underestimate what they have accomplished by finishing a project. |
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