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Thread: Perfectionist vs. Good Enoughist

  1. #1
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    Perfectionist vs. Good Enoughist

    As some of you might have guessed, I’m working on those darn puppies and, although I’ve come a long way, parts are still giving me fits but I’m getting through it. I mentioned something to my daughter and she lovingly said “Well, if you weren’t such a perfectionist…” Huh? Whaaat??? Then she pointed out that every meal I make is perfect (I don’t see it), every small appliance on my counter is perfectly aligned. Every candle has a perfectly trimmed ¼” wick, blah, blah, blah. I don’t set out to do that, it just happens.

    So I was wondering, when it comes to quilting, how many of you are perfectionists and how many of you are good-enoughists?

  2. #2
    Power Poster
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    I do my best in whatever I am doing. Are my results always perfect, heck no!

  3. #3
    Senior Member TheMerkleFamily's Avatar
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    Perfectly said, Tartan.
    Christine
    In my dream world.... fabric is free and quilting makes you thin!

  4. #4
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    Definitely a 'good-enoughist. Mmy motto is "Done is better than perfect".
    A quilt is like a good life. It's full of mistakes, but, in the end, it looks pretty good.

  5. #5
    Senior Member sewingitalltogether's Avatar
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    I'm a kinda sorta person. That's just what I am. Always have been. If something looks kinda sorta ok, that's good enough for me. Although I do seem to fuss around when I want something exactly like I want it.

  6. #6
    Power Poster dunster's Avatar
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    Even perfectionists can't achieve perfection, so why go crazy trying?

  7. #7
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    I'm not a perfectionist because it's not achievable, no matter how much I try.
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak T.H.I.N.K.
    T – is it True? H – is it Helpful? I – is it Inspiring? N – is it Necessary? K – is it Kind?

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

  8. #8
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    I long ago gave up perfectionism (as in about age 18) but the words “good enough” sounded synonymous with “mediocre” when it came to my efforts.
    I soon realized that what my personal standard was (in school and work) is excellence, as judged by me. If I know I’ve done my best with the skills and experience and intellect I have, I’m satisfied. In other areas of my life, I have no problem calling “good enough” on something I’ve done—cooking, cleaning, gardening. If I can live with the results, I let the rest go.

  9. #9
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    I have higher personal standards for some things than others.

  10. #10
    Senior Member jokir44's Avatar
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    With some of my housework I have decided to label myself as a "casual housekeeper".

  11. #11
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dunster View Post
    Even perfectionists can't achieve perfection, so why go crazy trying?
    this is one of the things I learned from therapy, lol.
    I wasn't achieving anything with all that angst!
    Now? I'm older, wiser? about some things but at least I
    led a boring life and have very little regret. The rest I can't
    remember .
    It is a blessing, to be a blessing !
    ~Quilters are warm people!!!~
    cheese brings parties together

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  12. #12
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jokir44 View Post
    With some of my housework I have decided to label myself as a "casual housekeeper".
    lol! I used to go nuts trying to keep up with my house and nuts is what it made
    me feel like.
    Now I'm casual too. I have to be. My body was used up.
    Who knew it had a mileage meter?

    like right now, 6-8-19 3:06 pm, I just taped off a corner
    of this computer room to do some more kilzing and painting.
    when I went to stand back up...there's that back problem
    I try to tell myself is getting better, so look at me. I'm
    on here resting. You know what? So what! I got a corner
    taped .
    Last edited by Mousie; 06-08-2019 at 11:08 AM.
    It is a blessing, to be a blessing !
    ~Quilters are warm people!!!~
    cheese brings parties together

    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...HJV/weight.png

  13. #13
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray View Post
    I have higher personal standards for some things than others.
    ok, ding-dong...chiming in again.
    I think this would fit almost all of us. (A certain family member comes to mind
    that it might not go with their outlook.)
    I am perfectionistic about my grandkids.
    I am perfectionistic about my debt/bills/bank account. I have to be!
    I am perfectionistic about keeping my dh off my back. He likes to
    tell me how to do things he doesn't know how to do!
    It is a blessing, to be a blessing !
    ~Quilters are warm people!!!~
    cheese brings parties together

    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...HJV/weight.png

  14. #14
    Super Member hobbykat1955's Avatar
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    If your happy w/it...then it's Perfect!
    Last edited by QuiltnNan; 06-08-2019 at 02:43 PM. Reason: shouting/all caps

  15. #15
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    My thoughts exactly. I’m the only one I have to please except the hubby and he’s always pleased with my efforts.
    Last edited by QuiltnNan; 06-08-2019 at 02:43 PM.
    In my dream world, fabric is free and sewing makes you thin.

    Sharon

  16. #16
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    I try to do my best possible work at all times, but there is a large heaping of "good enough" in me too. Most of my projects are use quilts, pretty blankets. It's not that I don't have standards, but I don't have design/workmanship considerations that I have when I'm trying to work on an "award winning" quilt. I'm very happy making every day dishes when I look at all the fine china around me plus, I want to use my fine china as well as the every day stuff.

    When I first started quilting, I was very happy with some pretty horrendous projects and seams and such and I got better over time and my expectations got higher. Now, as I deal with my vision issues -- well, I don't see so clearly as I once did but I'm still sewing. Again, not exactly that my standards got lower but that my expectations over what I can do is lower than it once was-- so I try to do the best I can.

    I'm trying some different styles and techniques nowadays and a lot of my projects are cut simpler than maybe they would have been five years ago. Part of me knows that my best work is most likely behind me, but I'm still having fun and I love playing with fabric. And in that case, good enough is the best I can do!

  17. #17
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    I kept reading the responses and kept saying, "Yep. That's me. Right on. You know it! So true." Yeah, I'm just like everybody else, LOL! I remember Mary Ellen Hopkins saying, "Honey, not every quilt needs to be an heirloom; there's just not that much time left!" God rest her precious soul.

    Jan in VA
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    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.
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  18. #18
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    I understand. I'm never totally happy with most stuff. I think what makes me that way is my innate talent. My talent is that I can see what's wrong with most anything. I can see anything that is not level, not lined up, not the same color, etc.

    One of my employees once told me I should be in quality control. Another one said I was, "picky, picky picky".

    Sometimes, I think it's a curse. Whatever it is, at least I've learned to keep my mouth shut, most of the time.

    bkay

  19. #19
    Senior Member cindi's Avatar
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    If you can’t see your mistakes from 6 feet away on a galloping horse, it’s perfect as far as I’m concerned.

  20. #20
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I try for perfection but of course I can't achieve it so the best I can do is all I can do.
    I always told our kids to do the best they could do. I always try to do the best I can do.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  21. #21
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    Done is better than perfect. If I've done my best, I let it pass.
    GrannyLady - Having too much fun dressing my grandaughters.

  22. #22
    Super Member GingerK's Avatar
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    There are some things I can live with (like dust and leftovers for supper and unfolded laundry) and some that I need to at leasttry to make better (like that corner where two--or more-HST's meet that just isn't quite right on a quilt that is being gifted to a family member or QOV or...) but only to a certain extent. If it really bothers me I try up to 3 times. At that point number 3 is the way it stays. Period.

    My biggest hurdle is colour coordination. I spend more time auditioning and second guessing myself on which fabrics to put together than I do in scrutinizing my intersections. I am really really trying to make my choices and just live with them.
    Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down the their level and beat you with experience.

  23. #23
    Super Member wesing's Avatar
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    I'm with zozee. I try to produce an excellent product, but perfection is out of the question. And "good enough" does sound like mediocre to my ears. That said, sometimes I do have to admit that I'm not going to do it any better on the 4th (or 29th) try, and I might as well move on. That frustrates me, but I'm not losing any sleep over it.

  24. #24
    Super Member Butterfli19's Avatar
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    What does that word even mean? I think there is a difference between wanting to have things the way that makes you feel accomplished and being over-particular. If you feel better when your appliances are lined up and your clothes are hung 1" apart, then go for it, as long as that stays with you and you don't project that onto others in your household. Some things I like certain ways and I don't understand why others don't but I have to live with me and them so I try to "control" my own things and if I don't want water spots on the bathroom mirror two seconds after I clean it, I wipe them off instead of dragging the offender back in to wipe it down or yelling at them for it. It just makes more sense, takes less time and is emotionally healthier for both of us.

    As far as sewing, I do the best I can with my skill set and of course, the more I do it the more confident I become. Sometimes I'll rip out 4" for one stitch and sometimes I'll just "whatever" it away. I do what I do to make me feel good about what I am doing, in things that I am doing myself - cooking, cleaning, ironing, dishes, laundry, yard work. Some days I care more than others and some days I let it all go, order pizza for us and chill.

    So I guess it's up to you. It's like they say, don't let anyone make you feel bad for being you. Or, pick your own nits. Or, just go with it.
    Nancy

    Just keep going!

  25. #25
    Super Member jmoore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray View Post
    I have higher personal standards for some things than others.
    same here...and that goes for my quilting projects as well. I am not a perfectionist but I am OCD. 😝
    attitude is everything...the rest will fall into place.

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