For a great alternative to fabric softener, use this:
a small amount of vinegar in the rinse water. Just regular white vinegar. No joke! Your fabrics/laundry do not smell! And the vinegar helps with static too.
I use a Downy ball, and put my vinegar in that. Have done it that way for a long time! :)

it depends... if you are going to use any fusable product or starch you should not add fabric softener.
when prewashing i never add fabric softener, i do add it when i wash the finished quilt. but never when prewashing, in fact when i prewash i run the fabric through the cycles twice, first with a small amount of detergent the second time without so i know there is nothing left in the fabric that may cause a problem no matter what i'm going to do...be it using a fusable or dyeing the fabric.

For the dryer, I got some blue balls with spikes on them, (or that's what they look like). I got them at Bed Bath & Beyond or some where like that, and then found them at Walmart. My Walmart has them for about $5.00 right now. I have 2 sets of 2 in my dryer, and they work well to keep the static away.
Make sure the balls are soft, and not hard as a rock!! A pair that I first got at Walmart got quickly taken back and exchanged. They went THUMP, THUMP,THUMP in my dryer and I couldn't stand the noise. The soft ones are quiet.

I don't use softener - I don't even always use detergent.

One thing to remember is that some fusible weg will not stick well if you use dryer sheets.

I don't use softner because I want them to be stiff when I cut. Static isn't a problem because of starching and pressing. I don't press fabric until I'm ready to cut. When I bring a new haul in, I wash it, fold it and stash it until an inspiration.

i don't prewash cotton fabric..never had a problem. i only prewash flannel because it shrinks more than cotton.

i had wash/soak and air dry on a towel,batiks..because i have had the colors run.

i wash after the quilt is all done, before it leaves the house..

Do you pre-wash flannel if you're making a rag quilt? I thought it wouldn't fray if it was pre-washed.

No, never.

no, i don't prewash it for a raggedy quilt. what makes it fray, are the cuts you make..then after it is washed, it will fray beautifully!
cotton and flannel shrink differently, with flannel being the most ..sometimes on baby quilts i mix cotton and flannel.
and of course, this is just my humble opinion!

i used to wash all my fabric..then spend a day pressing it..when i first started quilting. not anymore. i think the colors in fabrics are made differently than they used to be.
occasionally i use a color catcher in the wash with a quilt..not very often.
if your not sure if the color will run, wash it. better safe than sorry. but me personally, no problems.

and I NEVER wash nickles/pre-packaged charms or jelly rolls.

what are nickles...? oops, besides the 5 cent piece :lol: