kamohen
I love your note and message to the new mother. Very thoughtful and appropriate! :thumbup:

A little trick I have started using is to send the quilt by mail with a return receipt requested. The reciever has to sign for the package. Then I know it has been recieved. (Rarely have I gotten any acknowledgement of the quilt.) It does make me sad :-( that people cannot take the time to say 'thank you.'

Good idea!

some people like quilts and others don't. i give quilts to people i know will enjoy receiving them as a gift and then the other people i buy them something they would like to receive.

i put a lot of effort into picking out someones gift, whether its a quilt i make or not, its a gift for that person and i want them to enjoy it.

i have done just about everything people are mentioning is wrong to do with a quilt.

i have a picnic quilt that i made that cost me at least $400 to make and that doesn't include my time. i've been thinking that the americana dear jane quilting i'm making will be great for a picnic quilt for the 4th of july.

i have made all my pets beds and many of them - about every 2 years they get new beds and snuggle sacks.

clearly, i would not be offended if the people i gave a quilt to used it in this way when i do the same thing myself.

i think its wonderful that they want to use the quilt instead of just sticking it in a closet never to be used.

if it gets worn out, i'm happy to make them another.

Me too! I wanted to reach through that monitor and bitch-slap the girl. I read somewhere that they couldn't get the dirt out either.

Maybe the problem I have is I am putting too high a value on my time, (which I would be shocked to know) & money (as I buy $9 yd fabric) before I consider who the quilt is for. I don't like to think there is a difference in who I make them for, but after reading about other quilters post I believe I do need to be more selective. There really isn't anything wrong with that.

Martina, this is so funny. I had the same reaction to that scene!

Last Christmas, my daughter convinced me to make a quilt for her boyfriend's mother. I had some blocks from a class that I was not "particularly" fond of and could part with them easier than with others. So, I made the quilt and it turned out very beautiful in the end. I later asked my daughter if the recipient would allow me to enter it into a show. She did allow this and when I picked up the quilt, she said "my dog had her puppies on it so it might need washing"........Like others have said, quilts sometimes are not as treasured by those who don't labor over making them......

That is an excellent idea! I also tend to get an appraisal if I'm sending a quilt through the mail. This protects me, in case the quilt is stolen, and I make a copy of the appraisal to send to the recipient. When my MIL got her quilt, she about passed out to learn that just the replacement value to make the quilt (not counting time or anything else) was over $900. The quilt is on her bed and I love seeing it used, but I don't have to worry that a quilt I spent almost 500 hours making will end up on the floor or dragged to the beach.


I was horrified too when I watched the movie. I can only imagine what the person who made it must have been thinking to see her work so disrespected.

If someone wants a picnic or beach quilt, I can do that. It won't be something I've spent hundreds of hours on though, nor will it be hand quilted, as those are quilts that I expect to stay inside and be used, not drug through the mud or dirt.

I love to quilt and love to share the results with others. That being said, I only give the labor intensive quilts made with premium quilt fabric to those people I am certain will appreciate the gift. For those folks I know will enjoy the gift but will never truly appreciate the workmanship, etc. involved I make a simple pattern with less expensive (or clearance), fabric. Bottom line - I want the quilt to be used, no point in it sitting in a drawer or on a shelf someplace; and giving them away somehow makes me feel less guilty about buying more fabric!

I have put on label the amount of time it took to quilt the project, especially if it is difficult or time consuming--I don't keep track of the piecing time , because I sew & leave so often. It becomes a conversation piece & then people realize the time invested.

I have run into situations where people won't use the quilt because they overrate the craftsmanship. It is a quilt to be used after all (mine are pretty much all utilitarian). But it is up to the recipient to do as they please.

I don't believe a lack of appreciation for the amount of work involved is the issue. I believe it is a lack of manners. Even if you had given them "only" a blanket for a gift, would that not have deserved a thank you as well?

Something for us to remember as we raise the next generation. If we, as parents and family, don't teach basic manners, they won't have any. I never give a gift for the purpose of getting a thank you, but I have to admit it is pretty disappointing and even somewhat irritating when I don't get one! (Honesty at its' best!)

When you give quilts away, there will always be that possibility that they won't be treasured like you want them to be. I have a couple of quilts that I won't let my dogs near. My mom made me one and her only request, no dogs. It goes on our guest bed. I made a quilt out of squares and that is my snuggle quilt with my dogs. I do think quilts should be used and loved. All of the older quilts I have ever seen are really soft from all the use. You shouldn't let your animals have babies on them though!

No thought of returning a Thank You card seems to annoy me the most. Is this typical for quilters who give gifts?[/quote]

You should always send a thank you card, no matter what type of a gift!

I sent my niece a quilt for graduation. Waited and waited for a thank you note. Even asked my brother if she got it. I was getting ready to trace it. My DB finally asked (she was at college) if she had reciecved it. She had already taken it to college, didn't even show it to her parents. Boy was my DB upset my her lack of manners.

You have given these quilts as gifts. In the spirit of giving, its up to the person receiving the quilt as to how they will use them. If you can't turn loose,don't give them away. As far as animals on quilts, my animals are the most important things in my life, they most certainly can be on my quilts always. I make quilts for my animals and for my friends animals and would expect them to do what animals do on any quilt I make them. Sharon L

You have given these quilts as gifts. In the spirit of giving, its up to the person receiving the quilt as to how they will use them. If you can't turn loose,don't give them away. As far as animals on quilts, my animals are the most important things in my life, they most certainly can be on my quilts always. I make quilts for my animals and for my friends animals and would expect them to do what animals do on any quilt I make them. Sharon L

I think most quilters, who put so much time and value (love,because that is what is really in our hearts when we give) into our gifts know the recipients are allowed to do with them what they want. I have realized from this post that not all quilters share the same opinions. While some think it's okay to use them for picnics, animals, ect.. Others may not. This post shows all of us maybe we should rethink a little and maybe both ways!LOL!
The bottom line is to give and let go and realize we may not get a thank you for everything we ever do.

By the way...just curious...do you put the same into a quilt for a pet?

I put the same amount of love into quilts for my dogs, maybe not the more expensive fabric.

Yes, but allowing an animal to give birth on them is extremely disrespectful. To me it is like spitting on the actual Declaration of Independence. That is, unless the quilt is made for the animal. I think in this instance we are simply going to have to agree to disagree. :wink:

My girlfriend is aghast that I let me cats and a dog sleep on the bed with us on the quilt that she and I made together for my hubby. I believe quilts are to be used but I do take car of it b/c during "mud" season, the quilt comes off the bed to save it from muddy dog prints on it.

I will admit to letting the cats sleep on one of my quilts. The first 5 minutes it was on the bed one of them threw up on it. It was a pretty defining moment in quilting for myself. Either I don't use them or suck it up and enjoy the quilts. By the time the quilt was dry I put it back on the bed. I use a clothes brush on it every week to get the fur off and wash it every couple weeks. It looks good. However, there is one quilt I made that I won't put on the bed. It has a white background and has a lot of applique. That one is for special occasions.
I don't ask my daughter about the quilt I made for her and 1 for her DH, nor do I go upstairs to look in the bedroom. They have 3 big dogs. There are things better left unknown!! :lol:

I've been wondering how many quilters here let their cats sleep on their quilts. Our three cats sleep on our bed every day. And, of course, they shed and throw up on it occasionally and cause me to wash the bedspread much more often than I would have to if they weren't allowed on the bed. I've thought a lot about what to do when I make a quilt for our bed (which I haven't done yet). Do I let them on the bed, knowing what will happen, or start banishing them from the bedroom? I even thought about making a cat quilt to put on top of our quilt for them to lay on. Then I thought that would be a little silly because I certainly hope to make a quilt for our bed that I'll want to look at and enjoy.

I'll probably end up doing like you do, Judith, because I'm too soft-hearted to banish the cats from the bedroom. My DH sometimes banishes them, but only when they throw up when he's in the bed. :-D He usually forgives them by the next night. We'll have a large window seat in the living room of the house we're moving to, so I'm hoping they'll choose to sleep there most of the time and stay off the bed. They love to look out the window and soak up the sun.

I'm trying to get quilts made for my granddaughters and I've already decided to try not getting upset over how they'll be treated. I know the girls will love them, but they may end up getting dragged all over the house and thrown on the floor. Also, my daughter and her husband don't have the best laundry habits. He throws the girls clothes in with his work clothes :thumbdown: (finally figured out a place to use the thumbsdown!) and they both mix white clothes in with anything. They never bleach their whites so they're always dingy and gray. I taught my daughter how to do laundry better than that, but she's evidently forgotten everything she learned. I can only imagine how the quilts will get washed. :roll: I want the girls to use them, so I'm not going to worry about it, but if I make something that I spend a huge amount of time on, like an appliqued quilt, it will be for a wall hanging for their room.

My cats also sleep on my quilts. I vacuum them (quilts) weekly, but I change my quilts monthly so I don't have to wash them often. This has been a very interesting thread. Still as many of you (I) have said, "when you give a quilt you have to let it go".

You guys crack me up when you are telling bout your cats throwing up. I thought my girl siamese was the queen of it all, but she's not alone! She always chooses to throw up on the carpet, where we will step on it going to the bathroom in the dark. Or course I let kitty sleep on my bed quilt, and UNDER it!

SaraSewing, I love your tag line. It say it all.
As for the cats, our Lady has a messed up digestion system because her mom was exposed to bug extermination spray while pregnant. Lady was the only baby to live. She also has stomatitis which doesn't have a cure either. She is about 9 now and has had several teeth removed, and the vet wants to extract more. Her gums are better sometimes and not at others.
After I yelled at her the first time she threw up on the quilt she now throws up at the end of the bed, but on the floor, where my husband goes to his side of the bed, she is, after all, his baby!

After reading all the posts here I realize I am very lucky... Last Christmas I gave every one of my siblings a king size quilt... I made 4 quilts and it took me two years... I shipped them to my sister and they all opened them on Christmas at the family gathering...

They all called after opening to thank me and wish me Merry Christmas... When I went up to Indiana last spring they were proud to show me how nice they looked on their beds.. The quilts are being used and treated with love.... That makes me a very lucky person... Each one of them know what goes into them because they watched my Grandmother quilt for years..

Diamonds you are a very lucky person and what a wonderful family that appreciates you!!

Billy, I am with you! I would rather see the product of my labor be tossed on the floor for the baby than tightly wrapped in plastic and shoved in a closet! I tell those who receive my quilts "use them, love them, wash them, and more will come."My husband and I sleep under one year round. He has his favorite so it gets washed and dried with great regularity since the dogs sleep with us, too. When it wears out...darn! I'll have to make another!

As a follow-on to my earlier thread, latley I've ben making wall hanging quilts as gifts for friends. Well, I showed one today at church and had the ladies oohing and aahing all over it and several asked me how much one would cost. I'll probably give them as a gift. The reason I had in church was that I'd amde one for a departing pastor for his next office but his wife hiojacked it for her house b/c it was too good for his office.

It's been very interesting reading all about how the quilts are used & not used. I have made memory quilts for all my nieces & nephews when they've graduated from high school & I know just about all of them are being used. The last of my niece's to graduate wasn't sure if she wanted a memory quilt so I was going to make a different one. Her sister told her you have to have a memory quilt they are so neat so she did get one. I have made many quilts for weddings, anniversaries, babies, friendships etc. & have heard that they just love them & use them all the time. When I give the person a quilt I tell them that it isn't perfect but it was made with a lot of love & I want them to use it. Some are getting worn out but at least I know they are enjoying them. Now when any of them are getting married or having babies they know they will be getting a quilt & look forward to it. I also let our dog sleep with us & if the quilt gets dirty I figure it's washable. I do protect it though when the muddy season is around. I'm pretty selective when I make a quilt for someone & a few of my cousins have been recipients but they are the ones that I know will appreciate a quilt. Now if only I could catch up on all the ones I have to do!

My first quilt was a small end-of-the-bed runner, made without any formal instruction on how to make a quilt (and it turned out pretty well, all things considered). I made it for my sister who as soon as I said I wanted to quilt said "I want a quilt!!!" x 1,000,000. So I gave it to her, and she was all excited, until she realized it wasn't a "real" quilt. Then it went on her floor (and everything she owns seems to live on her floor... her bathroom is a room full of crumpled clothes ... every so often we find a sink).

Anyway, so she gets back to complaining about wanting a quilt. So I make a fast quilt of 2.5" strips for her, since I know this is going to end up on the floor, since this is what she does.

A few days later, it ends up on her floor. A few weeks later, it's ROLLED UP BEHIND HER BEDROOM DOOR! So I finally took it back to my house to wash and re-iron, and I ended up keeping it. So it's been living at my house with my other quilts for the last 6 months, and ya know what, I don't feel bad.

When you can buy a slave labor quilt for 29 dollars, its no wonder that people dont understand the work and cost of making a quilt.
I have a few myself that I bought before I started quilting and the piecework is good but the quilting is not.
It amazes me that they can make them so cheap even with slave labor.
It was a shock for me when I started quilting and saw how much it cost to make one.
I gave up sewing clothing years ago because it was cheaper to buy but quilting is so addictive I cant give it up even though it costs a fortune.

I am wondering when we are thinking of making a quilt for someone, should we contact them first? First asking if they would like a quilt. Then ask if they would like a more utilitorian quilt, to use, use, use... Or would they prefer a pretty "for show" quilt that will be gently loved/used? Or a pretty wall hanging, with a lot of detail work, that is purely for show. This might help eliminate hurt feelings on down the road...

You may have a great concept there with this suggestion!! What I think someone would want may not be what someone else really had in mind. It could be worth finding out first, unless you wanted them to be completely surprised!

Even if it is a surprise, you could do some asking around of family and friends to try and get an idea of how they may/may not use it :D:D:D

Good suggestion! It might also help with color choice to have the input of the recipient! (I made a quilt for an individual, and was told, 'thanks, but I really don't like the colors. Would you do a different quilt for me?')

Here are my rules:

I make utility quilts for other people. Beautiful/Special/Hard quilts I keep in my home to be willed to the recipient of my choice when the time comes. My daughter's have their favorites picked out already...I've had to hide a few for my sons. LOL

I only give quilts as gifts when I am with that person, therefore I always receive a thank you. If I won't "see" someone in person - I figure our relationship isn't close enough to gift them with a quilt - I write those people a check or purchase an item from the department stores.

I know my rules are a little harsh .... I've learned my lessons the hard way and now everyone plays by my rules.

I make my quilts to be used (though not abused). Everything is machine wash/dryable. I want the person to use it, take it upstairs, and downstairs, and all that. I just assume they'll take care of it, since otherwise I'll drive myself nuts. Plus I give quilts to people I know/care about, and even if they don't 100% appreciate the time and work and money put into this (and I like the idea of recording the hours spent on each quilt), I know they'll appreciate it enough to keep it in a safer spot than, say, on the floor with the dogs. Or for my mom whose dogs sleep on her bed, I'm making a stronger quilt so the dogs can lay on it and she can wash it a lot :D It's a know your audience thing