I have found, in my three short years of quilting, that not every quilt I have given is valued like I would value it. Some people appreciate my time, effort, and money, that I put into the special quilt they have received. While this is true, I have known others who treat my quilt, given as a gift, as though I had given them a blanket. No thought of returning a Thank You card seems to annoy me the most. Is this typical for quilters who give gifts?

Well I think some people don't actually know the value of a quilt...eitehr teh work put into it or the cost of it..quilting is not a cheap hobbie so I guess it is our job as gift givers to know whether a person will actually value a gift from us.
But as I always tell my children when we give a gift there is no expectations of anything with it..so when I give something is it pushed out of my mind as to whether they will treasure things the way I treasure them...so I guess it is up to you as to which pholosophy on this you will side on.

Charisma is right, many people do not understand the time, effort, and money that goes into a quilt. I became very frustrated by this many years ago and found a great solution. It involves a bit of effort on my part but it was amazing how suddenly my quilted gifts were no longer being dragged out to use as a picnic or beach blanket. I bought a timer from WalMart, one of those that you push the button and it acts like a stopwatch in keeping time. It cost about $5. Any time I work on a particular quilt I will keep track of the time spent on the quilt. Once it is done I will add the hours to the label. Many people are shocked when they see the hundreds of hours that go into a good sized quilt and suddenly it is no longer just something to throw around & treat recklessly.

Nothing spins me faster then walking thru the park and seeing a beautiful quilt thrown on the ground, usually in the dirt, with kids running back and forth over it with their dirty shoes. I've sworn to DH I'm going to "rescue" them, at which point he hurries me past because I'm usually saying something naughty just a bit too loudly. It usually goes like this... "I cannot believe they would treat something that took hundreds of hours to make like it was a cheap WalMart blanket. How thoughtless..." I'd spout off about how quilting fabric is $8-$15 a yard and what a waste on people who can't appreciate what they have, but usually hubby has drug me past by then. I know I shouldn't, but it just really bugs me to see something like that treated so poorly.

Some peoples quilts ended up being used as moving blankets, used for animal beds, stuffed in car trunks, used, abused, misused. Other's were afraid to use them...they were too beautiful, afraid something would happen to them. Yet other's used them and treated them with love and respect.
Quilts are not everyone's cup of tea...be selective over who you give them to, or be willing to turn your head to what happens once they are in the recipients hands. Maybe ask if they would like a quilt, how they would use it, and then decide how much time, effort and money to put into one for them :wink:

Believe me, you're not alone. I also know people who have gifted quilts with the same result as you. Maybe, what we should do is make a little card to go with the quilt, saying how much time goes into just making the quilt, I don't know if that would really help or not though and some people just have no manners about thank yous.

This topic has been discussed on several boards I'm on. It boils down to this. Some people are 'quilt-worthy', some are not.

I make graduation quilts for my kids' friends (close friends ONLY!) If I don't think they will appreciate the time and effort that has gone into a quilt, I will write them a check for graduation. So far, I'm batting 100 on the quilts being taken care of by the kids (or protected by the parents!)

I really like the idea of keeping track of the time needed to make the quilt and put it on the label. I also piece and watch tv, make dinner, do laundry, help the kids with homework, so this might be interesting. When I quilt, I'm in my own world and don't have all the distractions of the house, and I still have a hard time keeping track of things. Certainly something to think about! Great idea!

A friend of a friend made a cat fabric quilt for her friend. The friend thought the maker of her quilt would be quilte pleased that her cat had kittens on the homemade quilt. :cry:

:shock: Oh no! That is so sad. I'm sure the kitty didn't think so and was probably thrilled to have such great bedding. I think I would have cried.

Oh, ewwww!!! I hope she recovered from that shock!!!

I used to do a lot of cross stitch and embroidery. It's a much discussed subject among those groups too. It's especially discussed about divorced couples and whatever happens to the wedding sampler that was made for them. The time and materials and add to that the cost of professional framing.

My SIL was going to sell at her garage sale an embroidery I did for my brother long before he was married. For one dollar!! My girlfriend rescued it and it now hangs in her home.

Now only my mom and charities receive my quilts.

You need to know, who is 'quilt worthy' and who is not...doesn't take much investigation to find out, if there is any doubt, they don't get one of my quilts...

I always give my quilts with a note to please use them and most people do. My soon to be son in law has has packed his away because he feels it is a heirloom because it is hand made. I would rather he used it but it was given as a gift and he can do as he wants with it. SIGH

My wife wants to save the quilts that I have made her and treat them with special care not to have the dogs sleep on them or jump up on them. I keep telling her that I made that one I can always make another one. I like for mine to be used and loved at the same time and not stuffed into a closet to be saved.

What good is something if you cant use and enjoy it. :roll:

Billy

I also put together a 'story of your quilt' when I give one as a gift - with photos as it was going together, why I selected the pattern or what it means to me. Along with washing information, etc. It does give me an opportunity to put into words how the gift is intended to help give comfort whenever they may need it ...

My last quilt, I titled 'Tame the Wild Things' - a giraffe quilt - for a friend having a really tough time with depression, dealing with her own demons; she has the wry wit to understand I meant this to help her tame her demons.

I do like the idea of including the time it took you to put it together on the label!

I never expect the quilts I give to not be used. However, I do feel people can or cannot show gratitude for them by how they use them. I really do enjoy making and giving to others and I'm sure most people appreciate it, but how about a Thank You card for that special gift? Is that not worthy for all the time and money? I just wonder if it is a thing of the past.

I usually send a story with my quilts too, but when I see it later in the bottom of a trunk with a dirty tire laying on it, it ticks me off after all the time/effort/money that goes into one, some just do not appreciate or understand what goes into making a quilt, especially if it is a nice pattern or lots of applique'; I still think they need to be 'quilt worthy' before receiving one; if it's a child and they lie one it, sleep with it, tinkle on it, not a problem, at least it's being used and enjoyed, which is why you gave it to them, but when it's dirty, covered with mud, laying in the trunk and not taken care of, they won't get another one...

I think that valuing a quilt has to do with upbringing. I gave my neice a quilt for her wedding this summer. She was SO appreciative. Her brother came to our place for Thanksgiving and joked it was to "butter me up" for a quilt of his own someday. It has to do with being taught appreciation by my sister.

I never gave a quilt to my first DIL because I knew she didn't value such things. When they divorced my son got the wool quilt from an Aunt because HE valued it.

I won't even consider giving a quilt to someone without knowing their appreciation level. My son's best friend got one of my quilts. Even tho his mom didnn't sew or quilt, he had watched me through his youth making them and knew that this was just not any ole' gift.

That's why my list of recipients (except charity work) is very selective.

http://www.quiltingboard.com/t-31041-1.htm

some friends spoke about giving up their which is not easy 4 me

If you value the quilt too much that you "can't let it go" then keep it until you make something that you like better. The key is being able to "let it go". Once you give it away it is no longer yours.

What about giving him a quilt rack to display his quilt on? I think that would be a great follow-up gift for a birthday or holiday. You can explain that it is meant to display the quilt he has without it getting damaged while still allowing him to enjoy it. Plus, you can explain how it needs to be refolded every so often in order to keep it from getting a permenant crease and damaging the fabrics in the crease line. Just a thought.

You know, in the 18 years I've been quilting I have never received a thank you card. :( I hadn't realized that until it was brought up. How sad!

There have been many times when I got annoyed when I felt that what I had made was not appreciated. Funny thing, though, it has never happened with quilts.

Oh no........... I plan on making a picnic quilt for myself this winter. I want it a 9 patch with calico, so if you see me on a picnic one day please don't be rude I made it as a picnic quilt on purpose. Also I bought vintage picnic baskets with painted lids, I hope to one day make matching picnic quilts to go with them and give them to my children.

I tried selecting the recipents of the quilts....but that is not always possible to do. For example... I have two sister in laws that treasure the quilts I made and have taught their children to also treat them with respect. However I have a third that does not value anything and hence neither does her children. For those that I "should" make a quilt to avoid hard feelings...I limit not only what I will spend on the material but also what kind of time I will invest. Quickie weekend quilts have been something I felt I could give to those that dont have the appreciation for the work involved....that way everyone ends up with their quilt and my feelings are less hurt.

There are quilts I've seen that I know are made especially for picnics and I don't have any problem with that. I'm talking about walking past something like a Baltimore Album quilt or something that is obviously NOT a quilt for outside. I promise only to stop and admire your picnic quilt and not say naughty things. :wink:

I agree with Ellen 1, once you give it away, it's no longer your baby.

I have 4 children and all of them would recieve a different type of quilt from me... one would have no regard for the quilt, couldn't care less how it is used, abused.., 2 others would appriciate it, but not cherish it, and the last... use it, cherish it, and know that he will have them forever. He does not hesitate to give me "ideas" for different quilt patters..

by the way.. 3 sons, 1 daughter... the daughter could care less.
amazing..

KBunn sounds like a good rule to follow. Thanks!

I've been making "camping quilts" just for the purpose of perhaps getting dirty, throwing down for a nap in the park, etc. Mostly denim, suiting weight, some flannel. All of my kids have requested their own. A couple of them keep in in their vehicle. My husband and I have one in our Explorer that we use for those spur-of-the-moment picnics or naps. tee-hee.

I read an article in a quilt magazine where the featured quilter sent a quilt to her mother in Poland. The mother cried because she thought her daughter was so poor that she had to cut up scraps tp make a blanket. That puts a whole new spin on how quilts may be received.

Does anyone remember the scene near the end of "How to Make an American Quilt" where the Winona Ryder character drags her new quilt in the dirt? I remember watching that for the first time and getting upset. "I can't believe she just dragged that quilt they put so much time in through the dirt. Look at that! How could the director have her do that?" :-D I guess it was a little silly for me to carry on like that, it was a movie, after all. But still.

I am of the mind that when i give a quilt it is most important to me that the recipient actually uses the quilt...a few years ago we kind of got into this (making beach quilts) sold a few, people LOVED them, they were fun, summery with appliques and bigger than a big beach towel...on the 4th of july at the park i thought it was way cool to be walking along and see 5 of the quilts i had made spread out and being enjoyed by generations together...at one point though a person (a caring quilter who couldn't stand it) walked up to a family very proud of their quilt and was so incredibly RUDE it amazed me...she jumped all over these people and even threatened to take the quilt away from them!!!one of the kids ran and found me, i came on the run...
this woman was soooo indignant, and let me know how it's "People like me" who causes this type of 'mis-use'...

seriously...if you do not want the quilt you give to be used...make a wall hanging. the first quilt i hand quilted is a red and white embroidered quilt...my granddaughters consider it their PICNIC Quilt, and LOVE it...it is used and loved , isn't that why we do this. if you are going to make an heirloom that you do not want used, tell the recipient when you give it..."oh, yes, heres a gift for you, i spent hundreds of hours creating it for you but don't you dare use it...hide it, i have too much into it for you to really put it out, someone may sit on it...heaven forbid..."
sorry for the rant but .......................

are your quilts not washable? mine fluff up, get incredibly soft and are just better and better with each wash

I love the thought of the quilts I make being used - no, not necessarily for dog quilts or for cats to give birth on, but for children/families to enjoy their picnics on - yes! for a cuddly 'blanket' on the back of a couch - yes!, for a child to drag around as his/her 'blankie' - yes! To be packed away in a trunk or box or the back of the closet - no!! BUT it IS the recipient's quilt and he/she can do with them as they please. I made one for my sister as she was going through a really hard time - she LOVES it and uses it all the time, her son, who HAD :) lymphoma LOVES his - he took it with him for chemo every time - her daughter - does not like hers - never have heard fo her using it even one time... :) - different strokes for different folks!

I have been quilting for a long time. My quilts are not show stoppers but they were created with love, both for the recipient and just the love of the process. When my siblings were younger, I used to make baby blankets for my nieces and nephews when they arrived. On niece arrived and I promptly sent a quilt. I never heard a word from my brother nor sister-in-law until a year later when we were at a get together at my mom's. I didn't expect an earth shattering thank you, but did want at least an acknowledgment that the thing was even received in the mail. They went on to have two more daughters, but never got another quilt from me. It is only good manners to treat the quilt with respect after all the work that went in to it and to thank the person that made it. This has always been a sore point with me because so many people don't appreciate what they have when they have been given a quilt. Another sister-in-law told me that it was almost tempting to try for child no. 5 just to see what new beautiful quilt I'd produce. They stopped at 4 boys, but she has a warm place in my heart for saying something that sweet.

I just saw you online and was going to reply, but now you are gone. I was wondering where in SW Iowa you are from. I am from Avoca. Guess I don't know how to send a private message yet. I hope you are cozy and warm this snowy day!

I replied to your posting but didn't put the quote. Just wondering where in SW Iowa you are from. I am from Avoca.

Wow, all these stories remind me of the one quilt I made for my granddaughter. It was a queen size as that is the size her mom says they were buying for her. I even embroidered her name on the front. It took me almost a year and a half. Once given, I told my step daughter how to care for it. When my husband and I went to visit, I was in my grandaughters room and saw this quilt with torn squares and all dirty and half off the bed. The big german shepherd slept with my granddaugter or used it for a nap and it looked awful. I wanted to cry. I mentioned this to my step daughter and she asked if I could fix it. I thought and thought how would I fix this 'puff quilt". I thought of a possible way without pulling much apart. I did not fix it that time. The next time I saw it, it was tossed in the bottom of my granddaughters closet with all toys on top of it. The kids played hide and seek in the closet and were all over it. I was sick, sick, sick. I decided then and there if they treat this quilt this way, I am not going to take hours to fix it if that is all they think of it.
My step daughter asked me to make her and american/americana out of the scraps I have from another quilt. I had to think this over for about 6 mths. I could just picture it being used as an animal or kids romper room item. The thought scared me. Someone said once you give a gift it is no longer yours.
I talked it over with my husband, and I am currently working on it although my heart still isn't in it sometimes. Once it leaves my hands that is it. I told my daughter in law, you don't realize the expense and numerous hours to make a quilt. If you let the dog or the kids play on it and it gets torn, I will give you some extra fabric to fix it yourself. Maybe then you would realize just what goes into making one

This is a line of conversation that I could have started! We have a large extended combined family. My goal was to make the 3 children, 9 grandchildren, and 9 great grandchildren each a quilt. Well, I received 1 actual thank you letter and that was from the 7 y/o daughter of a second cousin. I have even called some of the adults to make sure they got the quilt since I hadn't heard from them.The last quilt for gg daughter is ready to mail for this Christmas. And yes, the dogs get on the beds where the quilt are...

The kids quilts are smaller and I can quilt them myself. The adults receive Queen size quilts cost about $200 to just for the quilting!

From this forum I learned of the downy.com quilts for kids foundation. Now I quilt and know the quilts will be used and enjoyed by the kids who receive them. And yes, you receive a thank you note for each quilt! I will continue to make quilts for others, but I will be keeping a total of hours I work on them! Thanks for that suggestion/idea.

I do receive thank you notes from friends for whom I make quilts.

EagarBeez : I feel how much u feel sick. I pictured as it happened 2me
and that what make me Iffffffffffffffffffff i made a quilt as a gift will be only wall hanging (( small))
What u think every body??????????????????

I recently made a baby quilt for a friend of mine who is pregnant. It was a simple rail fence quilt with lots of neutral colours that really didnt take too long to make, but it was still a significant effort, as any quilt is.

I sent it to her and got back a letter (a hand written letter!) thanking me. In this letter she gushed how beautiful the quilt was and how she almost didnt want the baby playing wit it because it would get ruined.

I called her a few days later. I explained that I would be much happier if she brought the quilt back to me in few year to fix it because it was used and loved so much that it was falling apart than if it sat in a closet and ever got used. I told her that nothing would please me more than this quilt becomming the "blankie" for her child that would never want to part with it. To me, that's the kind of quilt that shows that it has been loved and cherished.

If I wanted to give something to someone that would remain pristine, it would be a wall quilt and not something like a baby quilt.