I am having a wee bit of a problem..I have some neighbors that we are close too..One of them had a major by pass heart procedure..The other is her daughter..Well, they want me to make them a quilt, which I do not mind doing but the problem is they want to pay me for it..Which I do not want..If they do not pay, they do not want me to do it..I am a beginner quilter ( only made 2 quilts so far..am working on 2 more) and I know that my sewing capabilities are not that good..I make mistakes and lots of them..I told them that if they bought the material that would take care of any payments but no..They do not want to do that..They want to pay me ( probably a couple of hundred dollars)..What I am thinking is that I will make them a lap top quilt and just give it to them as a gift) but knowing them they are still going to try and pay me..How do I give them quilts without them trying to give me money?

I am not sure why you won't accept payment, but that is none of my business. I suggest you accept the payment and use it towards fabric for another charity quilt. Otherwise, maybe ask them to get you a gift card to your LQS? Maybe ask them to barter... perhaps they could make you dinner for however many nights it takes you to construct the quilt? Good luck ~ Pat

i had this problem with a close friend and regardless of what i said or wanted she insisted on paying me.

i finally got around it in a very sneaky way and she still jokes with me about it to this day (its been 5 years).

i told her to pay me with a check and i just never deposited it and therefore never really got paid for making the quilt.

i do agree with her that it was sneaky but in the end we both got what we wanted and were happy with the way the problem was solved.

Perhaps ask them to donate any monies they wish to pay you to the local shelters or food banks? They value your time and know what it takes to make a quilt. You are a very kind and generous person to make them quilts and not want anything in return. Sure sounds like your two families are close and have a great relationship!

I am sure they want to be fair and considerate of your time, regardless of your skill level. It still takes time, money to buy the tools and etc. They are trying to not to take advantage of you. Perhaps you could only take part of it when they offer. I am sure you could use the money to buy more quilting items. Another suggestion is take the money and let them know you will make charity quilts or put it toward a raffle quilt. You know pay it forward! That way everyone wins.

I look forward to others' answers. If it was me, I would make something I liked that I know they would like (just in case, they have a change of heart) and then get started. That's how many professionals start- they need customers and clients- you never know if you are customer #5 or #500 unless they tell you. Apparently your neighbors like what they have seen so far and understand what goes into a quilt. I would also charge 3 times the cost of materials at a minimum. After it is done, you will not have been overpaid. And you can use that money to further your quilting journey wherever it takes you.

I am with you on this one. I also am a beginner with my long-arm (have done about five so far). I am volunteering, to enable me to get the experience, without the demands and expectations of a paying customer. When I have more experience, then maybe will charge. Good luck on this one

using the excess, over the costs, for charity quilting seems like the best solution.

Or, to their favorite charity or one doing research into their kind of illness? Or, you do it when they pay you. Or just accept it, some people feel that if they have asked me to do something then it is their responsibility to pay.

I would either accept the payment and then make a donation to the American Heart Association or ask them to make a donation in your name. If not the AHA, another charity that is important to you or to them.

I can understand them not wanting to feel like they are taking advantage of you by paying you. Please try to appreciate it. How many times are there complaints on this board about people who want us to make quilts for them for free? Way too often, so this is a nice problem to have. :thumbup:

I would take another approach to this. You said your a beginning quilter - only made a couple. I would find a class that I would love to take and make a deal with them. Tell they you will make the class but as payment they have to pay for your class to become a better quilter.

WIN-Win situation

This is a good idea. Why is it so hard for us to accept an offer of payment or reinbursement for our good deed. I also think that you could charge them the cost of fabric and then a minimal amount for the labor. Then accept the money, say thank you and either keep it for yourself or you could donate it to a charity.

I first thought was take the money and donate it.
Some people are sensitive about accepting 'charity' or feeling as if they may be in debt to the giver. If it makes them feel better to pay, let them pay and donate it either in you name or in their name.

Like the check idea. :)

Everyone has give me some great advice..Thank you all..Its a hard decision when it comes to family and friends..If I took my quilts to a market to sell, I do not think that I would worry about adding a price to what I make..( after I become better at sewing :wink: ) Or even if my friends and family send others to me to make a quilt, than I would not mind being paid..I really like the idea about them giving the money towards a charity..That way, they would still feel like they paid me if they are remain adamant about it..Thank you all again so very much for the wonderful advice..This board is awesome !!

no matter what you decide, i hope you will thank your friends for having that much respect for you, your time, and your budding talents.

their offer and insistence show how much they care about you as a person and a friend. :thumbup:

Thank you Patrice..That made me smile and made me very happy..you are so very right..I never really thought of it that way :-)

And this is a really good answer.

Take the money and donate it in your friend's name to the heart association or another charity.

take the money and don't insult them by refusing. if you feel guilty then give the money to charity or use it in some way to make your neighbor more comfortable.

Sounds like this is their way of showing appreciation and respect for you, just as you respect and appreciate them. Accept it as they accept you are your quilting, with gratitude for having friends such as these. Bless you!

Maybe instead of money, you could suggest they do something else for you, like go out to lunch/dinner together and they can treat?

Don't let quilting become a power struggle....."no, I can out give YOU"!.....allow this couple their blessing.

Obviously their heart intent is to bless you, and for the giving they are blessed in return.

Graciously accept whatever they offer and, without explanation, put it toward a class, as suggested by Karen, to improve your skills so you might be in position to earn further monies for skill. They will consider it seed planed in good soil. :-)

Jan in VA

I agree. take the money and use it to further your education in the field of quilting. your friends obviously think a lot of you and respect you, so as not to abuse your friendship. I would take and make the quilts as asked and say no more. maybe this is the only way that they feel they can show you how much they appreciate and respect you.

A while ago, we gave an apartment size washing machine that we no longer used to my best friend's daughter. My friend wrote us a cheque but we did not cash it. She appeared one day with a huge gift basket. As she said, we might rip of her cheque, but we would never throw away her gift.

Your friends want to show you appreciation, you must be a very special person.

Take the money and donate it to your favorite charity. Let them know that you're going to do this. If they protest, use the money to buy more fabric!

You could offer to let them pay for the materials and the quilting is a gift...

I have a friend who is a lot like that....she says talent should be rewarded and encouraged. Remind them that being a beginner that the amount you charge is small but as you get better the prices will rise. And say Thank you to people who believe in you.

I'm with Jan, take the blessing and pass it on in learning and experience when you have the chance.

Have they told you what size quilt they want? Have they looked at designs and fabrics? You may ask them if they have any clothing and or mementos they would like in it to defray costs. (You can find many tutorials here to help with how to cut the blocks out of clothing) Let them pay for the batting, thread, backing, and whatever they want added to it. Let them be blessed with your joy in more experience and you be blessed with the confidence they show in you! They must think a lot of you and have a wish to be in on your experiences as you learn. Mistakes are just the hugs to go with your love in the making of the quilt, my dear friend Amma told me. Enjoy the process and don't agonize (sp.)

Hugs,
Sharon

If you really want to do it for free then explain that this quilt was practice for you and you really want to gift them with it. Or you could just accept with much gratitude any amount that they would want to pay. It certainly could buy fabric or sewing supplies.

Take what the give you, smile graciously, thank them and donate the money to charity. Breast Cancer Research, Cancer Research or your local SPCA.

Don't take away the joy of your friend wanting to pay you, just accept it and do something for her or someone else.

I would suggest that you have the confidence to accept the money.If you don't want to keep it, you can donate it to charity.However, the problem is solved if you accept the money.Your neighbours are obviously not "users"and that's possibly why you like them.So don't make them feel uncomfortable by not letting them pay.They won't give you the opportunity to assist them again and will go somewhere else next time.No one would think you are ripping them off if you ask/accept a fair price.You will enjoy the project once the finances are settled.

I would take the money or LQS gift card and use the fabric for other charity quilts.

I love that idea!!! Gonna file that one away... Virg

Maybe at least let them buy the materials? That way you aren't out money for fabric, etc and you get more practice honing your skills!!!!

I like this idea. Let them pay for your class. Maybe make their quilt in the class so you have help should you need it.

I have a neighbor who lives alone. I visit her occasionally. I never leave without a goody bag. Last time it was bacon she had cooked and wrapped 2 sl. to the package and frozen. It makes her feel good to give so...

When this happens to me ,I tell them to donate whatever the want to pay to there church . It's worked so far.

So often we hear of neighbors who want us to quilt for free, it's refreshing to hear about those who ARE willing to pay. I agree with others on the board. Have them make a donation to the Heart Association for what they wanted to pay, or make it yourself. The only downside I can see is if word gets out that you're willing to make a quilt for free!

Simple, ask for the money to be donated to a favorite charity. If they don't want to do it, do it yourself. Look at it as a donation! No problem.

I was asked to make one for a Cancer walk. She wanted to pay so I told her if she bought the fabric for the quilt that I would donate my time to piece and quilt it for her. We were both blessed.