As i read all the great suggestions I now wonder am I guilty of this? Our meeting is next Thursday. I shall try to be more respectful to our leaders. I am so excited to see everyone and sometimes get overly so and forget. :hunf:

Just want to add one thing, you have the advantage coming in to your position. When you address this issue -and it needs to be in the first meeting and early in your opening remarks- introduce it as a topic you've been asked to address (you asked yourself to deal with this right?). Also an additional concern I would think would be your group developing a reputation of being a rude group speakers would want to avoid. As a teacher I agree with having the group involved in the solution- this is more effective with any age group then being told this is what will happen. Owning the solutions makes compliance a greater possibility.

This has always worked beautifully for me. Only in rare occasions have I used the gavel. However, if necessary, I have been known to do just that. My thinking, if the adults are so rude that they don't know to keep personal conversations to absolute minimum, I don't mind embarrasing them. By the time we get to our ages, we SHOULD have learned there is a time to be respectful to the person speaking.

I love it! How funny, but it is really what I'd love to do.

I have noticed that it seems to matter who is doing the interrupting. This upsets me even more ... esp when they are friends of the group leader.

I tried to use the term "Remember ...." rather that "Please do not ..." and it kinda worked.

I really wish every member had her own paper and pencil and then the ones with comments could write them out instead of talking. Since I know I can talk too, I take paper and try to keep quiet.

ali

I have used a water pistol in meetings with a persistent talker. It got to the point that I could not hear anything but their voice, and I asked them repeatedly, nicely to be quiet, or I would shoot them. It only took one soaking!

I understand that in the US you have slightly more relaxed laws about what kind of pistols you can carry :)

Glad you asked for advice. this is good info for all of us! thanks

just ask when the meeting starts if your here to visit and not listen to the speaker please remove yourself from the room and talk privately to your friend your converstation is yours not ours

This happens not only in guild meetings ....it happens at meetings of any kind. There is a great little book out there that is available on Amazon.com called, "Say It In Six". The original is out of print but there are used copies available. It might be helpful.

We had the same problem at our meetings. It was decided by the officers to address this matter and discussed with the group. Also that the gravel would be brought back to the meetings. I know if there is people around me talking I just politiely tell them that I can not hear what the people are saying. This has helped.

We've had this happen at a knitting guild I used to belong to. One of the problems there was that there wasn't enough time for knitting, talking and sharing between members on our own.

This guild only met once a month and you couldn't get to know anyone between the president talking and the guest speaker.

The speakers often went over their time and a lot of talking would happen to try to get the speaker to wrap up. Some crazy person booked a speaker on how to protect your identity. At that meeting half the members walked out before the presentation started and sat in another room to knit together. It was a knitting group, they didn't want to hear a non-knitting topic.

They did a survey to ask the guild members what they wanted and a overwhelming majority wanted less programs and more knitting. Maybe it would be best to ask the group what they want out of the guild? It could be they just want less programs.

Well guess what happened this year to that guild? 1/2 the members quit this year including me and now we just get together to knit and chat one evening a week, which has lead to great friendships, road trips, KAL's., etc.

I have been leery to check out the local quilt guild, but it seems like they have a lot more opportunities for folks to get together to quilt together and build friendships, so when an actual talking program takes place they are more likely to listen.

~ Rose

If you can't hear, you could try just getting up and moving to the front if possible. I wish we could fine all the folks who feel the need to chat/gossip during meetings. Has anyone tried doing somehting like that?

Sometimes people start talking because they are hard of hearing and can't keep track of the speaker if there is no public address system or loop system to assist their hearing. They then start talking, and again because they are hearing impaired, they don't realise that they are talking too loudly for the rest to hear comfortably. If you could discuss the need to purchase a microphone or easy listening device with your guild members because of this problem (it is more appropriate at a meeting when your guest speaker is not there), it could solve the problem. The 'rude' people will be made aware of your thoughts without singling out anyone in particular and, if finances are tight, everyone will be aware that they don't want to have to buy extra devices because people can't keep quiet for 20 minutes or so.
Also, I suggest you always have the speaker as the first item so that everyone is fresh.
Best of luck.

We have the same problem at our Chapter meeting. And at this time the President is the worse offender. Glad this year is soon over.

I really like this idea, I belong to a large group and this is one of our problem also. This sounds like a great way to handel it. Thank you for the suggestion.

Ask them if they heard the comment because you could not hear it.

Maybe you need to do what teachers do during an assembly with small children, and separate the offending talkers. I think that might embarrass them into silence.

ROFLMBO!!!!! As a concealed carry permit holder (but not a guild member yet) I find your comment hilarious. As for the water pistol, glad it worked better than it does on my cat ;-)

I remember teachers doing this too.

A big gavel!!! This happens at all the guilds I belong . One guild (no roberts rules) one gal blew a whistle. It works. The ones that complain sometimes are the ones having the conversation. Another way might be just keep talking, and someone that is trying to listen will tell them. Have fun with your new postion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you luck in what you try to do to curb the chatter. It is happening all over and not just in guilds. My husband came home complaining about being in a meeting yesterday and the amount of people using their cell phones and computers was horrible. Even the director was busy doing her own thing and not paying attention to what was going on. she was asked a question and replied - sorry but i wasn't paying attention. what does that tell you.

I belong to a different type of guild (smocking) and don't know if this will work in your case, but wanted to throw it out for consideration.

Our guild meeting place has two rooms; we have a meeting space, and a kitchen area where coffee & desserts are served. At the beginning of our program for the evening, the President always says something along the lines of: If you don't wish to participate in the program (or listen to the speaker), and just want to visit with friends, please adjourn to the kitchen area so that those participating can hear and see the speaker properly. Since we've started doing that, most people will go into the other room to chit-chat. Don't know if this will work for any of you since obviously you need a two-room space and not just a single large room.

Oh hard. I would say to be direct. Tell them that since you are in front of the group more now, you have noticed the behavior and ask that they have respect for the speaker. If you do it at a time when the behavior is not happening, then you will not be admonishing anyone is particular. They may not be so defensive.

In our group we do ohhh and ahhh and make comments to our neighbors. And a few do carry on conversations every once in awhile. But it is in a room where the sound doesn't carry so that helped.

I just wanted to tell you I am sorry you have to deal with this and commisserate on that this is hard on you.

I have experienced another situation: Two or three of our officers have become so controling that it is their way or no way! If you ask a question, they very rudely put you down. I have decided that I don;t need that, so I quit going. One of the officers in question asked me why I hadn't been at the meetings recently and I politely explained to her why. I didn't want to embaress her.So now she won't even speak to me! Thanks to the Forum I an getting a great deal of info and I can do it at 3 am if I want!!!

Yes this is a rude thing to do. On the other hand are speakers that do not project their voice nor speak into the mike. If you are giving a speech learn how to give a speech! We (the guild) pay up to a thousand dollars for these speakers and pay our dues. If there is a question and answer part - Repeat the question (so everyone hears) and then answer!
Do not mean to hijack this thread but you have HIT ON MY PET PEEVE - SPEAKERS THAT DO NOT SPEAK UP!

I would write up the rules on paper what you exspect during the meeting and give everyone a copy of the rules. If they still do the talking draw attention to them and ask them to respect the speaker.

We have a "social hour" before the actual meeting starts. This allows members to chit-chat. The time also allows members to just come right from work. I will admit it is not the cure all but has helped.

This happens in so many places. While we were at church a couple of weeks ago, a family in front of us chatted through the entire singing/drama performance. I like most of the suggestions posted here.

Great Topic with some good ideas to try - love the duck tape idea as a sense of humor goes a long way!

Say, I like that whistle idea! You could even make it a funny ceremony to pass the whistle to the next chairperson.

In our guild, Miz Pres raps the gavel to get attention. If talking continues she either looks at them (the teacher stare) or calls them by name. They get the message. We have a social time before the meeting to catch up on chit-chat, then the meeting, then whatever the program is, a lesson and then show and tell. Our retreats have been the best ever for catching up and taking classes or just free sew!

Am retired now but have suffered through endless meetings in my lifetime. I was always polite, never chatted with others no matter how bored I was and, at the end, asked myself, "What did I learn" to end up looking over all my notes and discovering I had learned nothing. The book I mentioned earlier, "Say It In Six" tells you how to present a speech in 6 minutes and say everything that needs to be said and six minutes is the amount of time they have determined is the actual time you have your audiences attention. I, also, am adverse to speakers who give a handout and then proceed to READ the handout to me as though I don't have enough intelligence to read it and understand it myself. In so far as a special speaker, then that speaker should be scheduled separately and not during the time you normally get together to knit.

This drives me crazy!!! I have tried and tried to get people to stop but I can't bring myself to turn around and get their attention. However, my friend, who is a retired Navy Nurse who was in a command position uses her best glare and usually gets results!! The chit chat usually happens during the business meeting and the president of the guild is a friend of mine and I feel really bad for her. Also, we pay upwards of $5000 for these speakers because they are nationally reknown people and when people talk over them, I get furious!!

In sales for years in the home party scene, I would just stop talking and wait for them to be quiet. When they realized it was them I was waiting on, all conversations stopped. Worked every time.
Now as president of our guild, using a microphone with speakers or reading of reports and such helps out tremendously. It sort of gives you a control over things.
Hope this helps

We had several 80+ members of our church that would think they were whispering during church. We just learned to not sit near them.

I agree - the softer, less commanding voice used while speaking seems to attract sideways yakkers like nothing else. Usually, they're mumbling about not being able to hear or that the speaker is MONOTONE. I've NEVER found a strong speaker who didn't hold the attention (and couth) of the audience.

When things like that occur, our Prez stops talking to wait for the quiet. She just smiles and those who are talking are being watched by everyone...they look very foolish very quickly.l Our speakers do the same.

I think a lot of the problem is our nation's "Me" "Me" generation. The idea of respecting other people seems to have gotten lost. I know all of the offenders are not the younger people but many of them are the offenders. You see it everywhere. The things I see people let their children do in public places, church, theaters etc. my parents would have removed me from the room or event in less than 5 minutes. Rudeness has become the norm rather than the exception. It makes you wonder what goes on with their children in their homes.

I would begin something new that would require each member get up in front of the guild to speak for a couple of minutes. This would give each member the chance to see what it is like to have someone talk during their time.
Congratulations on your new position, it will frustrate you at times and will be very rewarding too.

Have no suggestions, but please keep us informed. Would like to know how it turns out.

Here's what I would do: I have a small Zen chime that has a very pleasant and long sound when struck (see picture). Each meeting, a person gets "custody" of the chime, with instructions to ring it whenever the talking, etc., becomes intrusive. I would put members' names in a bag and pull a name out for each meeting. That way, the responsibility for good manners is shared, the "reminder" is not harsh-sounding, and hopefully, members will know when their chit-chatting passes the threshold of 'rudeness.

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