Rude Guild Members/Need Help
05-03-2011, 03:44 AM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Delaware
Posts: 946
Over the past few years I have noticed a tendency toward rudeness during our meetings. Members talk during a speaker, during the general meeting and not quietly. Several times I have had difficulty hearing what is being said due to the person behind me holding a conversation. As the new Prez of this guild, I need help finding a way to politely handle this situation. Me, I am normally a fairly blunt no nonsense kind of gal but realize tack it needed for this, so please help me tame these beasties nicely.
05-03-2011, 03:49 AM
#2
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 909
I agree, and I belong to a small guild.
Do you have a gavel? If so you could try rapping it when things start to get out of hand (or maybe before it does get out of hand!).
Congratulations, madame Prez. Good luck.
Do you have a gavel? If so you could try rapping it when things start to get out of hand (or maybe before it does get out of hand!).
Congratulations, madame Prez. Good luck.
05-03-2011, 03:58 AM
#4
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Knot Merrill, Southern Indiana
Posts: 5,781
Try these methods.
At the beginning of the meeting politely remind the members that the speaker will appreciate everyone's full attention and that during each topic covered there will be a period for questions and answers and that is the appropriate time for others to talk.
After covering a subject, remember to look up and around and ask for questions and comments. But then remember to keep the conversation on topic.
Sometimes all it takes is a glance in the direction of the talkers IF you can catch their eye. If not, don't be afraid to stop and say "excuse me Mary and Jane - is there something you need to add to the topic now?". It's a polite way to say "I heard you therefore it was disturbing" but at the same time give them an "out" if it was truely important to the topic.
Lastly, each speaker (if there is more than one) should speak loud enough to be heard by all. A strong voice is a good reminder to everyone else that someone else is indeed speaking at this moment. I personally have noticed a drastic reduction in "outside conversation" when a person with a strong speaking voice has the floor vs a person without. Call it "stage presence" or whatever ... it works.
It also helps if the speaker is standing unless talking to a group of less than 10.
At the beginning of the meeting politely remind the members that the speaker will appreciate everyone's full attention and that during each topic covered there will be a period for questions and answers and that is the appropriate time for others to talk.
After covering a subject, remember to look up and around and ask for questions and comments. But then remember to keep the conversation on topic.
Sometimes all it takes is a glance in the direction of the talkers IF you can catch their eye. If not, don't be afraid to stop and say "excuse me Mary and Jane - is there something you need to add to the topic now?". It's a polite way to say "I heard you therefore it was disturbing" but at the same time give them an "out" if it was truely important to the topic.
Lastly, each speaker (if there is more than one) should speak loud enough to be heard by all. A strong voice is a good reminder to everyone else that someone else is indeed speaking at this moment. I personally have noticed a drastic reduction in "outside conversation" when a person with a strong speaking voice has the floor vs a person without. Call it "stage presence" or whatever ... it works.
It also helps if the speaker is standing unless talking to a group of less than 10.
05-03-2011, 03:59 AM
#5
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,410
Bring duct tape to put over their mouths if they start talking while the speaker is doing her presentation?
That really does irritate me when people yap then. :hunf:
Rude people don't seem to acknowledge or get subtle hints about their obnoxious behavior.
That really does irritate me when people yap then. :hunf:
Rude people don't seem to acknowledge or get subtle hints about their obnoxious behavior.
05-03-2011, 04:03 AM
#7
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,410
Originally Posted by DogHouseMom
Try these methods.
At the beginning of the meeting politely remind the members that the speaker will appreciate everyone's full attention and that during each topic covered there will be a period for questions and answers and that is the appropriate time for others to talk.
After covering a subject, remember to look up and around and ask for questions and comments. But then remember to keep the conversation on topic.
Sometimes all it takes is a glance in the direction of the talkers IF you can catch their eye. If not, don't be afraid to stop and say "excuse me Mary and Jane - is there something you need to add to the topic now?". It's a polite way to say "I heard you therefore it was disturbing" but at the same time give them an "out" if it was truely important to the topic.
Lastly, each speaker (if there is more than one) should speak loud enough to be heard by all. A strong voice is a good reminder to everyone else that someone else is indeed speaking at this moment. I personally have noticed a drastic reduction in "outside conversation" when a person with a strong speaking voice has the floor vs a person without. Call it "stage presence" or whatever ... it works.
It also helps if the speaker is standing unless talking to a group of less than 10.
At the beginning of the meeting politely remind the members that the speaker will appreciate everyone's full attention and that during each topic covered there will be a period for questions and answers and that is the appropriate time for others to talk.
After covering a subject, remember to look up and around and ask for questions and comments. But then remember to keep the conversation on topic.
Sometimes all it takes is a glance in the direction of the talkers IF you can catch their eye. If not, don't be afraid to stop and say "excuse me Mary and Jane - is there something you need to add to the topic now?". It's a polite way to say "I heard you therefore it was disturbing" but at the same time give them an "out" if it was truely important to the topic.
Lastly, each speaker (if there is more than one) should speak loud enough to be heard by all. A strong voice is a good reminder to everyone else that someone else is indeed speaking at this moment. I personally have noticed a drastic reduction in "outside conversation" when a person with a strong speaking voice has the floor vs a person without. Call it "stage presence" or whatever ... it works.
It also helps if the speaker is standing unless talking to a group of less than 10.
And very tactful - giving the detractors an "out" - at least once or twice - is a gracious thing to do.
05-03-2011, 04:08 AM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: in retirement
Posts: 1,513
During my career, one of my duties was running training sessions for groups of 50+. Chit chat during the meeting was always a problem until I used this method.
When I noticed someone talking, I would simply say, "Peg, do you have a question? or Peg, would you like to share your comments with the group?, or anything that would draw attention to the person talking." They will back down and sit quietly after that.
Once the group realizes that you are going to call on them, the talking stops. It's amazing how people don't want to be singled out.
After a couple of meetings, they get the message and usually the meetings run smoother from there on.
Hope this helps.
When I noticed someone talking, I would simply say, "Peg, do you have a question? or Peg, would you like to share your comments with the group?, or anything that would draw attention to the person talking." They will back down and sit quietly after that.
Once the group realizes that you are going to call on them, the talking stops. It's amazing how people don't want to be singled out.
After a couple of meetings, they get the message and usually the meetings run smoother from there on.
Hope this helps.
05-03-2011, 04:15 AM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Georgia
Posts: 1,508
I learned when I was in direct sales and at such meetings to just stop talking if I was a speaker or teacher and look directly at the person(s) talking which would cause everyone to look in that direction as well and it would get the attention of the person(s) speaking to each other. Most times nothing had to be said cause the offending person(s) would get embarrassed once they realized everyone else was listening in on there conversation and they would stop.
If it did not get there attention I'd walk up towards where they were and would just stand there listening in to what they had to say as if I were a part of there conversation and they would get embarrassed and just stop.
We were taught this by a wise and smart district manager and it works.
It also would not hurt to let folks know up front what you expect from them. I'm like you I am considered somewhat abrasive to some and just say what I have to say and learning the above technique helped me alot not to offend anyone by my words but embarrass them quietly.
At our guild if we speak while someone else is everyone just tells us to be quiet. And no one seems offended since several say "everyone be quiet please".
If it did not get there attention I'd walk up towards where they were and would just stand there listening in to what they had to say as if I were a part of there conversation and they would get embarrassed and just stop.
We were taught this by a wise and smart district manager and it works.
It also would not hurt to let folks know up front what you expect from them. I'm like you I am considered somewhat abrasive to some and just say what I have to say and learning the above technique helped me alot not to offend anyone by my words but embarrass them quietly.
At our guild if we speak while someone else is everyone just tells us to be quiet. And no one seems offended since several say "everyone be quiet please".
05-03-2011, 04:31 AM
#10
Google Goddess
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central Indiana (USA)
Posts: 30,181
Good luck, the other day at our evening guild meeting the President told all of us at the beginning of the meeting to please do not chit chat during the meeting as others can't hear her or our speaker
and if she catches someone chatting she will tell them to leave the meeting.
you might try it
and if she catches someone chatting she will tell them to leave the meeting.
you might try it
Originally Posted by Lena1952
Over the past few years I have noticed a tendency toward rudeness during our meetings. Members talk during a speaker, during the general meeting and not quietly. Several times I have had difficulty hearing what is being said due to the person behind me holding a conversation. As the new Prez of this guild, I need help finding a way to politely handle this situation. Me, I am normally a fairly blunt no nonsense kind of gal but realize tack it needed for this, so please help me tame these beasties nicely.
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