Over the past few years I have noticed a tendency toward rudeness during our meetings. Members talk during a speaker, during the general meeting and not quietly. Several times I have had difficulty hearing what is being said due to the person behind me holding a conversation. As the new Prez of this guild, I need help finding a way to politely handle this situation. Me, I am normally a fairly blunt no nonsense kind of gal but realize tack it needed for this, so please help me tame these beasties nicely.

I agree, and I belong to a small guild.
Do you have a gavel? If so you could try rapping it when things start to get out of hand (or maybe before it does get out of hand!).
Congratulations, madame Prez. Good luck.

Maybe it might help if you told them at the beginning of the meeting what you expect from them.

Try these methods.

At the beginning of the meeting politely remind the members that the speaker will appreciate everyone's full attention and that during each topic covered there will be a period for questions and answers and that is the appropriate time for others to talk.

After covering a subject, remember to look up and around and ask for questions and comments. But then remember to keep the conversation on topic.

Sometimes all it takes is a glance in the direction of the talkers IF you can catch their eye. If not, don't be afraid to stop and say "excuse me Mary and Jane - is there something you need to add to the topic now?". It's a polite way to say "I heard you therefore it was disturbing" but at the same time give them an "out" if it was truely important to the topic.

Lastly, each speaker (if there is more than one) should speak loud enough to be heard by all. A strong voice is a good reminder to everyone else that someone else is indeed speaking at this moment. I personally have noticed a drastic reduction in "outside conversation" when a person with a strong speaking voice has the floor vs a person without. Call it "stage presence" or whatever ... it works.

It also helps if the speaker is standing unless talking to a group of less than 10.

Bring duct tape to put over their mouths if they start talking while the speaker is doing her presentation?

That really does irritate me when people yap then. :hunf:

Rude people don't seem to acknowledge or get subtle hints about their obnoxious behavior.

Our president just stops talking, she rarely uses her gavel and not all others speaking are stopping too. Seems to help!

Good luck.

Seem like excellent suggestions.

And very tactful - giving the detractors an "out" - at least once or twice - is a gracious thing to do.

During my career, one of my duties was running training sessions for groups of 50+. Chit chat during the meeting was always a problem until I used this method.

When I noticed someone talking, I would simply say, "Peg, do you have a question? or Peg, would you like to share your comments with the group?, or anything that would draw attention to the person talking." They will back down and sit quietly after that.

Once the group realizes that you are going to call on them, the talking stops. It's amazing how people don't want to be singled out.

After a couple of meetings, they get the message and usually the meetings run smoother from there on.

Hope this helps.

I learned when I was in direct sales and at such meetings to just stop talking if I was a speaker or teacher and look directly at the person(s) talking which would cause everyone to look in that direction as well and it would get the attention of the person(s) speaking to each other. Most times nothing had to be said cause the offending person(s) would get embarrassed once they realized everyone else was listening in on there conversation and they would stop.

If it did not get there attention I'd walk up towards where they were and would just stand there listening in to what they had to say as if I were a part of there conversation and they would get embarrassed and just stop.

We were taught this by a wise and smart district manager and it works.

It also would not hurt to let folks know up front what you expect from them. I'm like you I am considered somewhat abrasive to some and just say what I have to say and learning the above technique helped me alot not to offend anyone by my words but embarrass them quietly.

At our guild if we speak while someone else is everyone just tells us to be quiet. And no one seems offended since several say "everyone be quiet please".

Good luck, the other day at our evening guild meeting the President told all of us at the beginning of the meeting to please do not chit chat during the meeting as others can't hear her or our speaker

and if she catches someone chatting she will tell them to leave the meeting.

you might try it

I was a Weight Watcher leader for over 5 years and we were taught to start heading in the noisy ones direction, all the while keeping the discussion going. That gets peoples eyes all pointing at the rude ones and they usually shut up. I don't know if that'd work in your situation as I have never been to a guild meeting, but it might.

I would hate to embarrass someone or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Unlike business meetings, people come to a quilt guild to have fun and they can choose not to come again if they are made to feel uncomfortable or have negative attention called to them. If I went to a guild meeting and the speaker called my name or came to stand next to me if I was talking, I'd probably be so embarrassed I would not come back. At the first meeting, you could talk about the "problem" and ask for suggestions so that all the members feel they are a part of the solution. My aunt is a teacher and when her classroom would get noisy, she would turn out the light and when it got quiet, she'd turn it back on and continue talking. Maybe you could make a game out of it. Pass out numbered slips of paper and if someone is talking others could take their paper from them. At the end of the meeting, draw a number and whoever has the paper with that number on it would win a fat quarter or pattern. Just something to make it a fun reminder not to talk when someone else is talking.

People do this everywhere and it bugs the puddin out of me.

I go to WW when in Texas and I get so upset as I pay good money to go to hear the leader not the twenty side meetings. I keep saying I am going to say something and wish I had the guts to do so. It is so RUDE to be yakking when they are talking.

Good luck!

this is a large problem, our ed chairperson states at the beginning of a guest lecture that "full attention" would be appreciated and please do not get up and leave during the lecture...really bad manners LOL We have a couple of 80+ members who chat during the whole meeting and someone taps them on the shoulder and shushes them which brings on a big huff but really necessary. I am on the board and it has been brought up that maybe there is not sufficient "chat" time before the meeting. I personally don't think this is a problem but you can't get them to shut up no matter what.

All good suggestions, if I am having a hard time hearing whats being said and the person who is chatting is near me I have no problem turning and saying something to them...I am quite blunt when it comes to people like that....

Don't know if this is possible in your situation but our guild changed the seating to two rows of chairs in a wide semi-circle. A lot of people didn't like it but it did cut down the talking.

Well, we are SUPPOSED to be adults here, not elementary school children. Learning the correct way to act in a social situation is part of being an adult . If you think it is "fun" to speak while someone else is, and that it is "fun" to disturb the people around you who are trying to listen to a speaker, then you should also find it "Fun" when your rude behavior is pointed out, gently. Remember the saying "if you call the tune, you have to pay the piper".

I think the other suggestions given have been excellent!!

You can't be made to feel uncomfortable or be embarrassed if you're not talking. The solution is very, very simple and doesn't need any input from anybody else. Don't talk when the speaker is talking. You shouldn't need to be reminded to be polite.

I agree with Pamela that what's appropriate in a business setting is not always going to work with a social group, which is really what most guilds are. I don't like the idea of intentionally embarrassing anyone, but the person "in charge" should step in and stop the chit-chat if it is interfering with the speaker or with the business meeting. Just banging the gavel and saying "there are too many side conversations going on for some of us to hear the speaker" should do it.

I believe you have enough suggestions. I just wanted to say good luck in your new position. Anytime you have a bunch of hens in one spot, there is going to be a whole bunch of cackling going on...

:roll: :) I think it was always "the old biddies" that seemed to be the most troublesome - - -

I used to completely stop talking and look at the ones talking over me. When they shut up, I would start again. I would also make a comment when opening up the meeting to the effect...."Ladies, please mind our manners. The faster you let me get through this by giving me your attention, the quicker we get to the goodies and show n tell."

I was also ornery. When no one was signing up for quilt show committees, I would circulate the list and tell them that if they hadn't signed up for a committee it meant "put me where you need me".

It's all about presentation! LOL Good Luck!

This subject is near and dear to my heart - a pet peeve of mine, and an issue that keeps me away from my local Guild meetings. Chairs are set around circular tables and there's a constant chatter throughout the room, so no one person to address. I've tried staring them down, without any luck. I can't believe a group of adults can be so rude.

My DH was the prez of a car club and there was one couple who always talked when he was trying to get things started for our next car show finaly DH put the couple incharge of finding vendors (sence I always got the vendors) they desided that talking got you something you knew nothing about.

I think that these things may work. I joined a new guild and they are awful about this. My last guild was not. Part of the difference is the room layout and how the meeting is run. The first room was set up so you were in rows, looking at the front. The second has people facing each other not looking directly at the speaker. I think this encourages people to chat.

The first guild had a generous social time before the meeting so that everybody had enough time to gab. Then you had a brisk business meeting with a podium and microphone. Topics for discussion were presented in the newsletter so you had time to think about it. I think when you get there and a new topic is brought up you "think outloud" alot. Finally there was a break before the speaker.

The new guild lets people keep their projects at their seats so that is a distraction. The old guild if you brought anything for show/tell you deposited it on a table as you walk in and you didnt sit around doing hand stitching during the meeting.

The President rings a bell when too much side talking occurs

Ditto! That's pretty much why I stopped going to Guild meetings; i.e, rude, non-stop talkers. There were a couple, in particular, who could not be reined in despite using most of the techniques suggested here. If anything, it made it worse. For example, one woman liked to "hold court" with all her buddies and, if you stopped the meeting to ask them to stop, the Queen just talked louder so everyone could hang on her every word. I felt sorry especially for those who would be showing their hard work, only to have to holler over the rude members. Such a shame.

our president during her opening comments and announcments always makes a point to say and she waits till they do, shut off all cell phones or put them on vibrate.and then asks them to respect our speaker and do not talk during their presentation.sometimes you just cant be nice,tell them as a group there is way to much conversing going on and it needs to stop,becasue you are getting complaints

I have to respectfully disagree with this. If someone is rude enough to be chatting while there is a speaker speaking and others trying to listen, then they have to take the consequence for their actions. If they don't want to be called out and possibly embarrassed, then they should behave, act like an adult and listen quietly like everyone else in the room.

Once rules are established, meeting in process... you find chats going on, stop talking and stand saying nothing. The quiet is usually enough to catch their attention. Sometimes it is best NOT to say anything. When you speak again if chatting starts, do the same thing. You will be surprised how fast your class will learn not to speak out of turn. You have actually gave them the floor... They really do njot want it. You gave respect and they are being taught to respect back. :) :) :)

Love the duct tape suggestion - would love to be a fly on the wall......

However, you might want to casually mention to the offenders about how "rude some people are when talking while someone else is"- they might get the point and no one will be offended

Ditto! That's pretty much why I stopped going to Guild meetings; i.e, rude, non-stop talkers. There were a couple, in particular, who could not be reined in despite using most of the techniques suggested here. If anything, it made it worse. For example, one woman liked to "hold court" with all her buddies and, if you stopped the meeting to ask them to stop, the Queen just talked louder so everyone could hang on her every word. I felt sorry especially for those who would be showing their hard work, only to have to holler over the rude members. Such a shame.[/quote]

A person like that usually NEEDS attention for one reason or another. I would have stopped the meeting and not said one word. It may take some min. for them to know all eyes are on them... when they stoppped chatting simply say thank you.. resume meeting, if it happened again do the same thing. the chatting lady may want to talk but soon her friends would probably not like the meeting stopped with all eyes on them... words unspoken mean a chatter cannot justifie.. IF you say something to her she can be the whipped puppy. By not saying she cannot justifie her actions. Am I making sense?

[quote=Just Me...]I used to completely stop talking and look at the ones talking over me. When they shut up, I would start again. I would also make a comment when opening up the meeting to the effect...."Ladies, please mind our manners. The faster you let me get through this by giving me your attention, the quicker we get to the goodies and show n tell."



YES, this is what I was trying to explain... it works... yes it works.

I was Prez of our local (fire company) Ladies Auxiliary for more years than I can remember. We always had a couple of consistent 'problem children'. It was a known fact that our social time was post meeting. We didn't typically have outside speakers but either board members or general members discussing an issue. When the side conversations would get out of hand I would simply speak over everyone and say 'Ladies...no one can hear what is being said by X. Everyone will have an opportunity to voice their viewpoint before the subject is closed'. It usually got the message across. I also, always made it a point that EVERYONE's voice was heard. But you also need to keep the conversations on track. When you get the inevitable members who have a tendancy to 'wander' when they speak, bring them back to the topic at hand with a gentle reminder that the points they have just made are the subject for a different discussion. Good luck with you new post. Having sort of walked in your shoes....

Thanks to all. With such good suggestions, something is bound to work. If not, the duct tape was my first thought:-) My post does not begin until July. I will let you know what works and report back so others can successfully get their own guilds in order.

When i went to the school for awards for grandson recently, the principal did not have to say a thing, she would just stop talking on the mikerphone and look up and they all would get very quiet. You could try it. These women need to learn their manners.

My old boss, when things were getting out of hand, would say "OK, people. One meeting here, please." Usually worked quite well.

LOL!! Liking your way of thinking :thumbup:

Maybe you could write an article for your guild newsletter on polite behavior at a meeting...especially when there is a speaker...some of the suggestions mentioned here could be included...and if you want to make it humorous, you could include the duct tape suggestion.

Good luck with your new position!

I like some of the suggestions you have been given. I find that so often these days rudeness seems to be the norm -- EVERYWHERE!!! :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :evil: :cry: Whatever happened to using proper etiquette -- and common sense?? :roll: