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Were you making 2 quilts the same for the twins? If so, I'd go ahead and give Mom both. I'd make a nice label acknowledging the precious little one who died. that way, mom can always have a keepsake and know people haven't forgotten him/her.

HTH,

I would still make it, no matter what, there were still 2 babies born, and there will still be 2 babies in their hearts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetana3

I would make sure there was a wonderful rainbow and one dove flying. I agree with the others to go with your feelings and knowledge of the mother. It does not need to be a surprise.

I agree with this...

I have lost a daughter and my advise is give the wallhanging and mention the one lost. She will never be forgotten by her parents and hopefully the rest of the family will always remember she did exist.

I had two daughters and would never answer one when asked how many children do you have. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my lovely 18 year old that died in an automobile accident.

Depends on how close you are with mom and dad. I think I would probably do something else.

I would make a simple blanket for the child that passed to be wrapped in for burial. Then after a little time passes present the family with the Noah's Ark quilt ... it will be a wonderful gift for the family. The children are twins and will always be twins even if they don't grow up together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindasidlow

Probably something else. On the other hand, 2 did come! You just cant predict how the mom will take either one. She could be sad OR mad that you left the other one out. Maybe wait awhile and see how she deals with the situation.

I'm so sorry to hear that!! Sorry for your loss. I agree, maybe you should wait a little bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFQSinc

I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.

I totally agree. Go ahead and make what you started. It will help her to heal. As you go ahead with it, pray for her, the surviving baby and the spot in her heart that will always belong to the baby who didn't live and the Dad. Hem the whole thing with prayers from your heart. God will bless all of your efforts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RenaB

I would get it straight from the one that matters the most, the mother. Tell her exactly what you told us and tell her u want to respect her wishes.

I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.

If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.

I agree with RenaB: I think you should check with the parents before finishing the Noah's Ark quilt. I realize that the twin that passed away, will never be forgotten. We lost our first child in 1970. He has never been forgotten. Time has helped heal the pain, but I always remember him on his birthdate, even though he only lived a few hours, he will never be forgotten. My other two were not told until they were in High School, both were sort of angry about not knowing at first, but I wanted them both to be old enough to understand and remember that they were told about him. Sometimes when children are very young and are told about something that is painful like death they shut it out or push it back in their memory.Both are now pleased to know that they did have an older brother.
I think you might want to make a separate quilt for the surviving twin, and make the wall hanging later according to the parents' wishes.

I wouldn't tell her what you original intent was...but instead talk to her and listen to what she says. I personally wouldn't give the original ....yet...maybe sometime in the future - years maybe - it will be accepted.