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Originally Posted by quilter51
I would definitely complete the quilt and present it to the parents. Perhaps on the label you could make a statement like..........
One in your hands, One in God's"............ I also know of young parents that gave birth to twins and sadly the one died just 10 short days later. Both Mother and Father were grieved by the fact that no one mentioned the twin that had died. Yes, they grieve but they also want to celebrate the birth of and lives of both twins. Please finish Noah's Ark. |
Originally Posted by jmabby
Thanks everyone. I will finish it and hold off to see how things go. I did ask my brother (grandfather) if he would want to cut several locks of hair to put in lockets for the mother and grandmothers to give later, and one for the dad for his wallet. That too will have to wait (the giving), but I'm sure, knowing the parents, they will appreciate it later.
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Wow. Sad and touching story. Jmabby, I admire your compassion in being so prudent. Blessings on the mom, dad, and whole family during such a difficult time. I would be interested in an update if/when you give them the quilt.
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I am so sorry for your loss. That is sad and such a hearbreaker for the parents & family. Seeing the live one will always be a reminder of the other that passed. My BIL & DSIL went through this. She wanted people to acknowledge the little one that did not make it. But? Right now may be too painful. I would go ahead and make it & hang onto it for just a little while. Huge Hugs
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Originally Posted by MadQuilter
Can you modify the pattern and add angel wings on one of two on his ascent to heaven? (Assuming you believe in heaven)
That baby will always have a place in the family's heart. I would acknowledge him and his passing. |
Originally Posted by AFQSinc
I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.
Give the quilt as you wanted to design it. The rawness of the loss will be slightly diminished by the time they receive it, only because they will be spending vast amounts of emotional energy on the surviving twin who will likely be hospitalized for quite a while yet. Encourage her to talk about the babies and just let her know you feel sorry for her pain. You really don't need to make any other comments. (I learned these things through my childbirth education practice and doula work in TX.) Jan in VA |
I am so sorry for the whole family. Such a terrible loss... I agree that giving a quilt to acknowledge both little ones would be appropriate, but I wonder if the Noah's ark with the two by two theme is too "cutesy" for the situation. There have been some other lovely suggestions.
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Please convey my condolences to the family! My thoughts and prayers are with them!
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Originally Posted by lheartsl
oooh.... tough one.....
i don't know what the right answer is...... do what your heart tells you to do... |
Would think the remembance of the loss would be wanted. They lost a child. they loved that child. I will pray that all else goes well.
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