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PKWard 11-03-2010 09:35 AM

My father committed suicide when I was 17 after a battle with depression and alcohol. Make your SIL a comfort quilt...she has a long road ahead of her...I speak from experience...it's been 33 years for me.

gramquilter2 11-03-2010 10:00 AM


Originally Posted by sahm4605
what is a comfort quilt? one made with bits of her cloths? or just a pretty quilt that is good for cuddling?

A group of women in my quilting group are making comfort quilts, they are made of 9" squares. Half of squares are colorful and the other half are muslim and have bible verses written on them (they use permanent fabric markers). I have been machine embroidering one block that has a cross and a dove on it. The reaction they have gotten from those that have received them has been very positive.

I would not do a memory quilt at this time either.

thegypsy1968 11-03-2010 10:01 AM

I have stood witness to a very similar situation like this....Time heals alot of wounds..not all of them..However I would definitely do a comfort quilt now..Wait a year or so for the memory quilt..the Past is looked upon in a very different light after several seasons have come and gone....Blessings to you and Safe Travels!!! I will say a prayer for you today and ask the angels to guide you in the right direction..!!!

brendaj8689 11-03-2010 10:51 AM

I think it would be wonderful. She might not be able to look at it right away, but in time it will be there for her.
I am a survivor of suicide, my oldest boy. It's taken a while, but I am getting to where I can be around his things and not fall apart.
Please encourage her to get help and support. There are a great many resources online for suicide survivors also several forums.
brenda in MI

crankygran 11-03-2010 10:53 AM

The Mother lived and the Daughter has loved her. The subject of suicide is delicate but passes no shame to the people she left behind. The SIL deserves whatever way you want to use to remember her pain and loss. What she does with it is for her to decide.

adrianlee 11-03-2010 12:56 PM

I would wait before even thinking of making a memory quilt. The SIL needs time for grief and that may take a year or couple years. Don't rush in as this M quilt could open some buried memories of the SIL. A comfort quilt would be the best at this point. Later, talk with your brother, don't forget he also is experiencing his wife's sadness. I'll pray for SIL's healing and her sadness. For now, just be there for her.

quilter in the making 11-03-2010 02:00 PM

I have to agree with the majority of the postings here and opt for the comfort quilt. There is nothing better than being able to curl up with a quilt. For some reason, when I am faced with the loss of a loved one I go through a period where I just feel chilled all the time and feel like I can't get warm. Having a quilt from someone who cares about me would make me feel like I was being hugged by them every time I wrapped the quilt around me. I am not a person who would be comforted by a quilt made out of the clothing of the person I lost, I don't think. I think you have to be very careful giving someone a memory quilt. To some it may be comforting and to others, it wouldn't be. And the timing may or may not be right either. Thoughts and prayers are with you all.

bgullett 11-03-2010 02:22 PM

I think way to soon. Maybe later if than. Even though she was her Mom, she may have some feelings she about her she really doens't want to relive and remember. A nice cuddle quilt sounds very comforting.

texana 11-03-2010 02:29 PM

I agree, perhaps at a later date, a small quilt of some sort, but not right now. You'll know when the time is right...

Caroltee 11-03-2010 02:34 PM

Time heals all wounds so maybe after a proper mourning period you might talk with your SIL and see if she would like to have a memory quilt of the good memories she has of her mom.


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