Should I give a lap quilt to my new hairdresser?
 

I have been to Aubrey 2 times to do my hair and twice for a facial. She's in her twenties with a daughter. We were talking and I told her I made quilts and had given my kids so many quilts that they don't need any more. I said I didn't know what to do with all of them. She said "I don't have a quilt". Well, I have a choice to make. Should I give her a lap quilt? I don't think she realizes how expensive they are. I had it long armed quilted and it cost me $100 plus over $100 for the fabric. I don't have any runners to give her. She does a great job on my hair and I'm going to continue using her, but I just don't know if giving her such an expensive gift is the right thing to do. What do you think? I have quite a few quilts.

Give what makes you feel good :)

I was a hairdresser for over 20 years...the best I got for Christmas, or any time was a crystal candy bowl!

So you think it would be appropriate to give her a quilt? I've had people tell me that I shouldn't because it cost so much. So I don't know what to do. I really like her. I know she has no idea about how expensive quilts are and how much time it takes. I'm leaning toward giving her the quilt. I think I need to give her a Christmas gift since I'm going to be using her. And that's so cool that you got the crystal candy bowl. That is what is making me lean toward giving her the quilt.

What will she be expecting next year? A thorny issue for sure. I would maybe make up a quick small quilt for the daughter. It gets you off the hook and because it's for her daughter you will not be obligated to do something big next year. A nice short scissor fob would be a nice gift for her? (short so it doesn't interfer with cutting action?)

I would not, at this point, give her a quilt. I think she made the comment about not having a quilt just as a way to keep the conversation going, and she doesn't expect that you will be giving her one. Your relationship with her is quite new, and it would put her in an awkward position to receive such a large gift. How can she ever reciprocate? On the other hand, a simple quilt for her daughter might be perfect and wouldn't put her in such a difficult position.

I never gave my hairdresser gifts at Christmas. I figured I paid her for her service and that was sufficient. But you should give her what you're comfortable with. A lap quilt is a pretty expensive gift for someone you don't know very well. Maybe make one of the 10 minute table runners (tutorial on this site) for her if you're not comfortable giving the lap quilt?

Yes, I don't see where she was asking or expecting one. Why would she know how much they cost to make? An extra large tip would probably be appreciated.

A gift is a gift. I don't think that giving her a quilt this year means you have to give her something "special" next year. I think you spoke about quilts and she said she didn't have one and you heard a longing in her voice (or something). A gift isn't a payment, a gift is a something you want to give (unless you have an awful family and HAVE to give an awful person a gift) :>) Sometimes an unexpected gift can be the start of a whole new line of kindness and love. She doesn't have to know the cost, she will realize the kindness, the love. I think your instinct was to give it to her and you should follow your instinct.

I'm giving a lap robe to a (not very good) housekeeper who is putting her life together after years on drugs. She's been clean a few years now and my daughter and the cleaning agency woman are working with her to improve her skills. She admired my quilts and she is getting one this Christmas. Not because she deserves it, but because there is something in her I admire and I want to give her a piece of love and encouragement. Mine is only $100 because I quilt my own (and I'm not very good), but that doesn't alter the "price" of the love given. Go with your first thought. You'll never be sorry!

Why are you talking money? Give her daughter a quilt and feel good about it.

The gift should not be about the dollars; it is about the spirit. Do what the spirit moves you to do.

I think it would be a wonderful gift - think how happy she and her daughter will be - the quilt will last so long and a constant reminder of your generosity. Let us know...

I agree with you. I really want to give her this quilt. The way she said "I don't have a quilt" told me she would like one. I have some already made and ready to go. I think I will give her one but I'm not going to keep giving her Christmas gifts. I always give her a tip. When she said she didn't have a quilt, the look in her eyes really got to me.

jcrow, I imagine she'll be thrilled to receive the quilt. It's always nice to give them to someone who appreciates them.

You could give her a quilt after Christmas, so it won't look like you are going to start giving her Christmas gifts every year.

I agree. I'm going to give her one. I am going to just drop it off on her day off and not leave a note. I know she'll know it's from me, but I won't say Merry Christmas. I'll just leave it as a gift.

I always buy my hairdresser a Christmas gift!! She is such a lovely person and always gives me wonderful service that I just love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How will it make you feel to give her a quilt? Good or wish you hadn't? If it makes you feel good, then the price doesn't matter. :-)

Jeanne - give it to her with a hug --------if you leave it maybe she won't get it??

Oh, I would deliver it in person, for sure. I wouldn't drop it off and leave it for her. You need to know that she got it. (For example, I know of a children's home..well, sort of a children's home... that has been accepting quilts from a guild for years, and it was just recently discovered that if someone in the "office" liked a quilt, they just put $10. in the kitty and took the quilt. The guild members had no idea that all the quilts were not being given to the children.) Just to be sure, I would deliver the quilt in person...

I'm going to chime in with those who say go ahead and give her the quilt, but also don't just drop it off. Besides that it might just "disappear," leading to all sorts of grief, I think you won't want to miss the look in her eyes when she receives it from you. JMO

Do what will makes you feel good. The quilts we have around us were meant to make others feel good...my opinion.
Some of us feel so wonderful when another apreciates the quilts we made. The world can use all the love we can give....and hope it is contagious.

I think it would be a beautiful gift! and why should she expect any thing next year yes we put alot of time and money into them, and to see the smile on someone face who totally did not expect it is a delight. if you like her so well and she does a great job what a perfect way to honor her.

I kind of have a different feeling.

Since she's only done your hair twice, she might feel it's a very extravagent gift. Might she be embarrassed? You know her, we don't, so do what you think is best. But if it were me, I might be inclined to give her a cash gift this year and then give her a quilt when you know her a little better, maybe for her or her child's birthday. I like the idea of a quilt for her child.

I give some of my quilts just because it makes me feel good. The people who I have given to really appreciate them and I dont think they expect more later.

Wow, I wonder if she has any idea of the effort, time, love and $$ goes into a handmade quilt. Have the 2 of you discussed personally quilted items versus those you see in Walmart or Target? Giving such a personal gift to someone may strain the developing business relationship, also It may not match her color scheme, or it may be delegated to the back of the closet. Are you comfortable with continuing using her services if she didn't like your effort? A good hairdresser is hard to find, maybe this year $20 will do.

Aubrey said " I don't have a quilt", I think that was only a comment- I would keep that in mind though, if she is still your hairdresser in say 3 years time give her a quilt. In the meantime make her a table topper or placemats if you think your quilst are to much. I'm sure she is not expecting anything from you.

i think it's inappropriate because it is expensive and she cannot reciprocate... you have a business relationship. if you really enjoy her company and want to take the friendship to another level, ask her if she wants to learn how to quilt...your knowledge and time is a gift, as well. if this doesn't seem like something you want to do, that's a clue to whether you should give a business contact an overly expensive gift. How do i know it's overly expensive? because you brought up the cost yourself ... look in your scraps... find 4 little blocks for a doll quilt for her daughter and do it all on the machine and quickly... no extra cost and still thoughtful and using what you already have.

I like the idea to make a doll quilt for her little girl, perfect gift for a new business associate.

I think it's a little early - it might make her uncomfortable and obviously you're uncomfortable or you wouldn't ask. How about a 25% off discount on any item she wants.......then be ready to give her prices for a table runner, mug rugs, lap quilt and queen quilt.
I've been going to my hairdresser for 7 yrs and would consider a quilt as a gift.............except she and I bartered...I don't pay for hair cuts/perms and I'm making her a quilt.......She'll have to do my hair for 20 yrs at the price she charges!!!!!

A lot of thought will need to go into whether or not you gift her with a quilt for Christmas. Once you make your decision, stick with it and don't look back. Good luck and let us know what you do and how it turns out.

I have been goign to the same haridresser for years and years. I love her dearly but would never think of giving her a quilt for Christmas. A card with a nice tip is better appreciated.

I agree with some that it's too expensive of a gift. I would give her something she could use (travel mug, coffee cup, charm, etc). After Christmas if the conversation of quilts come up again I would, in a casual way, let her know the expense of making a quilt.

Tough question and I am not sure what guidance is appropriate. A quilt to me represents a great deal of work, time and money investment and heartfelt dedication. I usually give my quilts to some one who I share special meaning. The joy is in the giving. You could adopt a needy child or adult and give one to them. My BFF gives two lap quilts a year to those in need. Let us know what you decide and have a wonderful holiday.

You sound like you really want to give her the quilt, and if that is what your heart is telling you to do, I think you should follow your heart. Sometimes our heart is leading us in the right direction. You just never know how that special a gift will affect this young woman. Gifts from the heart don't have dollar figures placed on them, in my opinion. And I don't think you should just drop it off. You deserve to see the look on her face when she sees her gift. Even if she never understands the time and money involved, she will never forget you for giving her that quilt. I know before I quilted myself, I never ever had a quilt, and always wanted one. I finally inherited a quilt from my MIL and although I'm sure it was made from sewing leftovers, it is very special to me and always will be. Follow your heart, you won't be sorry.

Don't give her one yet. She will get the idea you can just whip them up and not respect it enough. Plus, first time you don't like your haircut, you will resent her. Been there, done that. However, one for her little girl would be fine because she will appreciate it more. After while, you will feel more comfortable giving your hairdresser a quilt but maybe by then you'll have a better idea of colors and such, not just an extra one you already have. That way, you can be more sure that she will like AND appreciate it.

A gift is a gift and should be giving from the heart. Hopefully she will love it and appreciate it!

Give her the quilt. You know from your conversation with her that she would like to have one. You are pleased with her service and I believe you feel she is worthy as a person to have one of your quilts. Give it and enjoy giving it. There is zero reason to wait 6 months or a year into your business relationship to give the girl a gift. If you were wanting to give it to someone you were dating it would be a different story - someone of such short acquaintance should only be given books or other impersonal items.
There is no need to tell her what it takes to make one. If she asked you to make her one then yes, by all means, educate her. To give her one from the heart is totally different.

she has done her hair twice and had 2 facials...that's short acquaintance..

Jeanne, you have a warm, generous heart. You know she wants a quilt, and you have one to give. I don't care how long you've known her, MOST hairdressers don't make as much money as people think they do, and you already know she'd appreciate it. Folks give quilts to others that they have never met (charity quilts, QOV quilts, etc.) and have no qualms about the cost when they give it, nor do they ever know if the quilt was really appreciated.
I say, if it makes you feel good to give her the quilt, then do it in person so she can thank you properly! :) I think it's very sweet of you to want to share with her!