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I agree with all . If you do start it up (really all of you) I definitely would find a community center, like church or sometimes if someone lives in a condo the have a party room, library is good also-nights of columbus. I think it is a marvelous idea that lunch is rotated but the person who provided it the other week has the responsibility to call and remind the person who is doing it next week.
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What a great way to share advice! All of us who might consider a group now have some guidelines.
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Set rules!!! Try it again and if it starts up like before, cancel the meetings.
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Goodness! Maybe you should write a book!
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I would set some ground rules. Remind them you are all together because you are friends. Let them know this is time to enjoy each others company. I would also tell them that if you show up incapaciated (drunk), you will be ask to leave and explain it is for safety only. I would also ask them to try to have patience with each other and not bickering. Explain you would like for it to be a "round robin" and the hostess would provide lunch, or brown bag it, that would be fun. If you are all friends, they will understand.
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My friends and I started quilting together a little over 2 years ago.We meet once a month (First Sat. Quilters)at the library. We work on our own projects and have a pitch in. There has never been any disagreements. We all used to work for the same Co. Since I retired 2 yrs. ago this is the only time I get to see them. I love our time together.
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We have a group who meet weekly for 10 months of the year....no summers.
We pay a small dues which we donate to the church where we meet in their cafeteria...with big tables for sandwiching the quilts. We all brown bag it and enjoy lunch before beginning our sewing. There have been a few squabbles but we try to overlook and ignore them.....and it's now about 8 years that we have been meeting. We do have some who come and go but that's up to them. It's their loss as we do enjoy ourselves and we do achieve some projects for charity other than finishing up some of our own. |
Oh, I wish I could find a small group of women to sew with....I promise I won't show up drunk. It gets lonely just sewing by myself.
Lynn :cry: |
Set guidelines!
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I was invited to join a Wednesday afternoon quilting group a year ago but was never able to attend as I worked full time. All that changed in October when I was laid off. Meeting every Wed afternoon to sit & sew has been a life line for me. I've met some absolutely wonderful women.
When I first joined, the group coordinator sent me an email with the "rules" - basically they were: we don't discuss politics or religion. That really seems to help keep the peace. We do meet in a church basement and each session everyone puts in $1 that goes to the church. Everyone works on her own project. Everyone brings her own lunch (we meet 12-3) and sometimes people bring treats to share - but it's not required. I'm actively looking for another job, but will miss my Wed afternoon "sewing with the ladies" when I start working again. Sewing bees are still around because they do fulfill a social need - I would recommend restarting but with rules and a different format. Your friends (at least the true ones) will want to help and will support the new format. |
Find an neutral place. We meet at my church. Maybe just all bring something to share if you are meeting for the day. And then everyone needs to be responsible for their own cleanup.
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I would want a meeting place ans share some of the responsibilities with other. to much for one person every time
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I agree with most of these ladies, maybe rotating in the homes would be good. But as far as the lady getting drunk I don't know if I could have her back. She should have more respect for the rest of you not to do this. Because if she does it once she most likely do it again. This should be a clean, and fun environment for you to work.
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Maybe set up some ground rules. Also, is there a bad apple in your group? Maybe start a new group w/out the bad apple.
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Originally Posted by Tink's Mom
You were being walked on, dear...if you start this up again, you will need a few rules to be handed out to your friends...
You will need guidelines...at the first meeting these need to be discussed before any sewing starts...if someone doesn't like the new rules....well........... A sign up sheet for lunches...or order lunches delivered...for a fee. A sign up sheet for clean up each week would be nice. As to the ones that only show up for there own quilts to be quilted...charge them frame time. Sorry if this sounds a bit harse, but some of these friends are looking for freebees... |
I think this is a good idea, too. Maybe the church would be willing to let you sue a room and you give them a donation once a month for allowing you to meet there.
Originally Posted by quilter1943
WOW! What a group. Why don't you find a church fellowship hall or library room, some place other than your home to meet. Set some guidelines. If you're close to one of the ladies, maybe you could do it together.
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I'm not sure a rotating location would help if there's a frame to be carted around. I would make a contract or just a paper with the rules in them so they all know what is expected. I would also assign "clean-up" on a rotating basis so everyone can help you clean up the mess left behind and also set up a monthly schedule on who provides what for meals. That will weed out those who really don't want to pull their weight from those who truly enjoy the company. Oh, and no alcohol allowed ;-)
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I belong to the church group of quilters. We meet twice
a month at the church. We meet from 6:30 to 8:30pm. Everyone has already eaten so we don't bring in food. You can bring your own coffe, soft drink etc. We work together on making quilts for the missionaries. You can also bring your own project to work on. If you want to start your group again I would set rules and have it some place other than your homes. Betty Lee |
Dang, sounds like one of my family reunions. I would definitely set up on a rotating home basis. I am sure everyone enjoys it when they can just walk in and have a good time. You need that pleasure every now and again. If you dread the get togethers it takes all the fun out of it. Perhaps not every week, but once every two weeks or once a month.
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I belong to ASG and we meet monthly at a church. Sometimes we stay past lunch time so we bring a lunch. We all set up and tear down. No one person has to do all the work. I've been doing this for about 20 years and it work well for us. We learn different things from each other and enjoy the sewing fellowship. We take up dues each month and at the end of the year we use it as a donation to a needy family.
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These groups are wonderful and if you can find some newbies it's even better. This is what got me started. A few unspoken rules were in place. If you wanted to help someone, you did. Everyone was responsible for their own lunch. We each brought a project to work on and that was ours to take care of and manage. We also met at the extension office. This would be a great place for you or even at a church. Everyone would be responsible for cleanup, or take turns with that. I admire you for even considering this again. There is nothing wrong with making rules for everyone to follow. The down side is getting everyone to follow them. LOL
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I used to have a crochet group in my home but I had to quit because the ladies had so much fun they overstayed their welcome. Hints about time to leave fell on deaf ears. These sessions became marathons, leaving me stressed about everything else I had on my to-do list. So I agree, a place where everyone is responsible for their own work, lunch and exit is the best.
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I would suggest to hold it once a month, and ask
for them to each sign up for one month, that way it wouldn't be alot for anyone. |
I would suggest to hold it once a month, and ask
for them to each sign up for one month, that way it wouldn't be alot for anyone. Also I would do either pot luck, or brown bag it for everyone, and say the host just supplies the beverages, and their place, if someone doesn't have a good place they can maybe help host with another person. |
I agree with looking for a neutral location and then everyone could bring a small dish for potluck. Wouldn't be put all on one person and you wouldn't have to do all the clean u-p. Definetely have some guidelines and rules or make by-laws like a guild would do. I would definetely like to know how it turns out for you. Sounds fun...kind of.
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Originally Posted by ssgramma
Not unless the location rotates so that you don't have all the cleanup!
MNM |
You all have had some good points to make on this issue. I think I'll try again but with some guidelines and rules. I dearly love this group of ladies. (each one is unique in their own way) But, I do think I'll wait a bit longer and enjoy a little more quiet time. Thanks for all the suggestions and input. There has to be a happy medium here so we can get the JOY back in the group.
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I think a sewing group would be wonderful-but rules need to be set up front to prevent what happened to you. I like the idea of meeting in someone's home (more personal touch) but it should rotate and to keep it simple-whoever has the meeting that month is responsible for a simple lunch that could be made ahead of time. If anyone has special needs, they need to bring it. Of course, it should go without saying-these are grown women and everyone should pitch in and help clean up before leaving. Everyone should sign up for a month and if for some unforeseen reason they cannot have it that month, it would be their responsibility to find someone to swap with them.
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we have a sewing group where i live we do it at my mil's house
house because she has an entire house to quilt in. we can leave our stuff and its not in the way if we want or take it home. we all help each other and people come and go we bring our own refreshments or the most part although if someone gets thirsty theres drinks available. we get alot done and learn new stuff. we get alot of girl time as well. we all have different personalities but that makes us what we are and were all different ages but were all friends and it works. carla |
Agree with most of the ladies that some guidelines have to be set down. Maybe use a room at the library or church and meet there. If there is a little resturant or cafe have lunch there, then no problem as to whose turn it is. Hope it works out for you.
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I agree with sueisallaboutquilts. I would insist everyone work on their own project, including you. When something is not fun anymore I don't do it. Rotating locations would not be an issue with me. This way you are not left cleaning up alone each week. Have everyone bring their own lunch. Bet no one forgets. The hostess provides coffee & dessert. Explain that this is a social time, not a free classroom and lesson.
Been there-done that. |
Originally Posted by #1piecemaker
For several years a group of us ladies got together every week and spent most of the day sitting around quilting, visiting, helping each other and having lunch together. We had a lot of fun doing this. And then it started going sour. We started out piecing our quilts by hand and quilting in hoops, each working on their own things. Then we set up a frame. We took turns quilting on quilts for each other. Some of the ladies would just show up to quilt when theirs was in the frame, then they started bickering about the correct way to do it. They would forget who was supposed to provide lunch that day. One of the ladies showed up drunk and fell off her chair and we had to call an ambulance. All of the meetings took place in my home so I had all the mess to worry with each week. I never got any work done on my own stuff because I was always helping someone else. I didn't mind that at all. I enjoy helping someoneelse. But, with all the desention, it got to where i was dreading quilting day. So, I called it off until further notice. Now, they are all wanting to start the group back up. I have serious reservations. But, these are some good friends and I do enjoy them. Just not all the hastles. What do you think? Should I get the club started back again???
Intense....! |
I agree with the rest about rotating locations but if you are happy to host it all the time then do so with a few rules. Do lunch as a pot luck covered dish sort of thing and let it known that all will work together on all things or this cannot be done. These should be brought out up front.
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I also belong to two mini-group quilting Bees...one has 6 members and one 7. We rotate homes ( meeting places) by alphabetical last names and we started about a two years ago to brown bag our lunches with the hostess furnishing coffee, drinks and dessert. It has worked out very well for us and we all get along very well. Most of the time we work on our own "stuff", but occasionally will do things for charity or make sampler quilts by exchanging blocks.
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OMG!!! One lady showed up drunk and fell out of her chair??? Too funny!!! but that's just me...snort, gasp, giggle
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I would try it again and have the first meeting Rule Setting so everyone has a part in how things will work. Rotate homes or ask a church if you could use a room.
Have fun. |
Originally Posted by quilter1943
WOW! What a group. Why don't you find a church fellowship hall or library room, some place other than your home to meet. Set some guidelines. If you're close to one of the ladies, maybe you could do it together.
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I think you should spend more time writing and less time with your "club"...at least until you have enough material for a book. I sure loved your query. I was weary from rearranging furniture and I recognized all the characters you described, except for the drunken quilter. Sometimes friends will drive us to drink, sometimes they drive us home. Hang in there.
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A different home each time would be good and how about fewer times a month. Our group meets at a different home every other Wednesday. Except for July August and Sept. Seems to work well for us.
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I would think long & hard about it.. what is it they say, leapords don't change their spots.... I would have a list of rules & if they don't like that then don't come, maybe only meet once a month & if you can find an alternative place to meet that would probably be for the best... if you go ahead & have at your house, no matter what the rules are there will still be those that do not follow them.. BUT then again there will be plenty that do & you will enjoy yourself... hard decision to make... good luck with them
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