For several years a group of us ladies got together every week and spent most of the day sitting around quilting, visiting, helping each other and having lunch together. We had a lot of fun doing this. And then it started going sour. We started out piecing our quilts by hand and quilting in hoops, each working on their own things. Then we set up a frame. We took turns quilting on quilts for each other. Some of the ladies would just show up to quilt when theirs was in the frame, then they started bickering about the correct way to do it. They would forget who was supposed to provide lunch that day. One of the ladies showed up drunk and fell off her chair and we had to call an ambulance. All of the meetings took place in my home so I had all the mess to worry with each week. I never got any work done on my own stuff because I was always helping someone else. I didn't mind that at all. I enjoy helping someoneelse. But, with all the desention, it got to where i was dreading quilting day. So, I called it off until further notice. Now, they are all wanting to start the group back up. I have serious reservations. But, these are some good friends and I do enjoy them. Just not all the hastles. What do you think? Should I get the club started back again???

Not unless the location rotates so that you don't have all the cleanup!

WOW! What a group. Why don't you find a church fellowship hall or library room, some place other than your home to meet. Set some guidelines. If you're close to one of the ladies, maybe you could do it together.

Personally speaking, I wouldn't. If you want to though, do as ssgramma suggests.

I would suggest rotating homes between all the ladies or find a room maybe at a quilt shop or something where you could meet monthly. How about printing a schedule of who's responsible for what and handing it out? If you think you would enjoy doing it again, by all means you should do it. Maybe some of the ladies who want to start it back up would have some suggestions how to make it work more smoothly.

I like ssgrammas idea, make it on a rotating location!

From your description it sounds like some rules need to be set down.
Problem 1: Some people only showed up when their quilt was in the frame.
Problem 2: One person showed up drunk (not a good sign at lunchtime!)
Problem 3: Not rotating homes.
Problem 4: You didn't get to work on anything for you.
Problem 5: People forgetting who's supposed to bring lunch.

Unless these issues can be resolved I would either find another group or not start it up again!!!

I agree with rotating locations or a public room and everyone bring their own lunch. I think I'd also have everyone work on their own project. Good luck

Susan

If you decide to start meeting again, I agree with ssgramma, you need to find somewhere other than someone's house to meet. Also, I think you all need to work on your own projects that way no one will need to be so critical of others work. Then they need to take their projects home. It seems like they took advantage of you.
Sue

If there is interest from others to start it up then let them do it. You need to enjoy the group and not have all the responsibility.

Think about setting some rules...I think if you could do that you might be able to have a successful and fun group!

You were being walked on, dear...if you start this up again, you will need a few rules to be handed out to your friends...
You will need guidelines...at the first meeting these need to be discussed before any sewing starts...if someone doesn't like the new rules....well...........
A sign up sheet for lunches...or order lunches delivered...for a fee.
A sign up sheet for clean up each week would be nice.
As to the ones that only show up for there own quilts to be quilted...charge them frame time.
Sorry if this sounds a bit harse, but some of these friends are looking for freebees...

I agree with this one, you need to set rules. Otherwise set up hidden cameras, so they can see their behavior.

May be this could be a start of something else, a TV show in the coming. :P

Quilting Ladies behaving badly!

I'm sorry, don't want to put oil into your fire. I wish I had a group to go to and quilt. It's a wonderful idea.

Now you know what could go wrong, so set the limits. Be honest, this is not a get together to loose manners or for having bad attitude.

They would let you know should you do this to them.

maybe you could all take turns playing hostess? and spread around the mess...hastles?
or perhaps you could use a community room...our little quilt group meets in the basement of the libriary, the room is available free of charge to any community members...we just have to clean up after ourselves....town halls, grange halls also often are willing to share their space during off times.

I belong to a sewing group and love it. But we only meet once a month. We do rotate who's house not all of us have a space large enough for all of us and our machines.

We sort of assigned ourselves what to bring or do:
I bring the morning donuts paying special attention to purchase everyone's favorite
One brings various coffees and pot if necessary for all to enjoy
One gal is a dessert guru and she always brings the lunch dessert
We all bring our own soft drinks so the hostess doesn't have to purchase extra stuff
One brings extra sewing tables

We all pitch in help for cleanup IF the hostess will allow. We also meet other times during the month for BOM clubs, shop hops, and the like.

We don't have any squabbles between us. If one of us has a problem with someone else, they step off in another room, talk about it, and come back all is done and right with the world.

If we did meet once a week, that would really be pushing it. I do believe we would get on each others nerves a bit.

I love my sewing group and am very thankful for the friendships it has brought to me. In that I feel blessed.

Yep.

I get lonely when I quilt but vote no.

Some women are just not past High School reguardless what age.

The quilt bees were from a time of social need. Not just blankets.

good luck with your decision.
ell

This is the way I would do it too.
We had a scrapbooking/rubber stamping group and thats how we did ours....
As for quilting group I just go to the local LA's shop any evening and we have our own machines and projects. We mainly get togehter just to get advice and ideas and visit with each other, and to get out during the long winter. Once in awhile one of us may bring a snack to share.

I love hosting but after awhile I like to sit back and enjoy also. I would definitely rotate locations for those who would like to open their homes. It should be an enjoyment for everyone. A give and take from each one! Let the others do some organizing and getting it together. I think you have contributed in the past!! Tooooo much work to have it at one home everytime and most certainly who wants unacceptable behavior from others in ones home.

Perhaps shorten your get together time and keep the conversation on a positive note! You'll see who is serious about getting some quilting done and who is just looking for something or some place to hang out for the day!

I think I have read all the posts so am I right that you are the only one with the quiting frame? If so, how about rotating meeting sites and the week it is your turn you quilt on someones quilt all together. I would definitely ask everyone to bring their own sack lunch except for special occasions. Hostess could provide coffee, tea and soft drinks.

Its too bad about the bee part. But that's the way it always goes. Limit your quilt frame to charity projects. And find a public hall. Quilting bees were always about socializing, hope it works out.

I belong to a group that meets weekly. We meet in the basement of a former church - my studio is upstairs. We all bring our own lunches each week, except the last meeting of the month and that one is potluck. We all work on our own projects, charity quilts or raffle quilts for local organizations. I've belonged for over 3 years and thoroughly enjoy the group.

No one has shown up drunk... (OMG!!!)

Of course they want the group to start up again :-), they didn't have to do anything but enjoy their 'day out'.
I agree with the others, rotate, talk about rules and perhaps only 1 bee every 2 weeks?

I agree with rules - I have never belonged to a quilt club - I don't even know if there is one nearby - I'm new at this - but I would think everyone should contribute equally.

I thank you all for your comments. You've all had some good suggestions and comments. If I do decide to do this again, I think I'll suggest rotating houses and meals. I think working on our own projects would work out better too. that way if one person didn't carry their own weight, it wouldn't matter. The whole idea was to have time with friends soing something we all enjoy, sharing ideas and patterns, books and new ways of doing things and having fun together.

I would find a different group of friends.

Once a week might be too often, but if you enjoy the company then you could try to organize a new club. WITH RULES!

You are probably right!!!

I would say I'd love to re group but not at my house and everyone brings their own lunch. I'd not ask the drunk to re join, she sounds dangerous and a law suit waiting to happen.

I read about a group that would meet one evening every couple of weeks, usually a Friday. No dinner but they did take turns with a dessert of some sort.. the hostess would have it at her house each time but not weekly.
Weekly would be too much for me even if I was going to someone else's. The gal that played hostess had a large table and everyone brought their machine and they work on their own projects.. sounded like they enjoyed the group and the evening..

I have a similar set up but in my home. I understand where you are coming from. I have people just looking every where in my home, grabbbing food and using stuff. I have set some parameters. When they bicker with each other it is too hard. We had one person who was just not happy and wanted people to cater to her. Fortunately she moved out of state. Maybe you can say that you would love to have it again but maybe the group can meet some where else. Also it sounds like in your case it might be better to have everyone work on their own project. So yes, do not give up on your friends but try and make some changes to help bring back the joy. I have thought about quiting but I have a large fmaily and this works for me. I now sit and sew atleast one evening a week. As a group we have gone through a lot. All of us lost our mothers in the time our group has been going and some other issues including medical. None of us are perfect and instead of getting new friends maybe some parameters need to be set. It does seem like your friends are having way to good a time because they are being catered too and are getting freebies. I have some of that going on but then I am enabling them too I guess. KWIM? Hugs, Anna

In the beginning, it was just three of us. then there was four and then five and so on.I am the one with the largest house and I have to admit it was convienient for me because I don't have to get up early, get dressed, leave the house and get out in the rain, or heat.
On the other hand, one of the girls sewed on my machine and flat messed it up and it hasn't worked right since. And then there was the drunk. One of the other ladies invited her and I smelt booze on her the first day. But, she was soooo happy to be there. But, the day she fell out of the chair and hit her hip on the couch and couldn't get up. I was afraid of a lawsuit for sure. Also, right before that happened, she asked me if I had some extra backing and batting she could buy from me so she could put her quilt in the frames when we finished the one that was in there. So I got her some. She said she would pay me later. A couple of months later, she needed some more. I asked her if she wanted to pay for the other one she got that day and she denied ever getting any from me. So..... I didn't argue. I just chalked it up as lost.There was so many issues that I thought,"Why am I putting myself through this?" And, you know what? I think I have just answered my own question.

I think setting ground rules would be beneficial. I have friends come over for craft night. They come over here since I have a big house, a big living room, and a big screen tv for watching Charmed/Gilmore Girls/Buffy. I really don't mind being the host, since I find it easier to do the cleaning than going to someone else's house (I'm strange). We set it up that I make the main dish, and then assign each of them a side/dessert/wine. They all bring their own projects and we talk, quilt, and hang out. After a few hours they go away. I absolutely love it and look forward to it. We had a new member (bf of the one of the crafters) who just turned 21 and as such, IMO, has a drinking issue. I talked to my friend about it and said I don't mind if he drinks, I'd just prefer less. And it was no big deal, not an issue again.

I think in your case, I would suggest going back to doing your own projects. Frame seemed to not work with this dynamic. Everyone brings their own thing. Maybe limit it to a few hours so it's less taxing on everyone. And try dividing up the food, so everyone brings a little something. Also, you might want to limit the people. 3-5 works best for us, above 7 makes me start to cringe.

I wouldn't let anyone use my machine, period. I made a quilting friend (wife of my first boyfriend) and I told her "I don't share well". We joked, we're great friends, but I made sure she knew I wasn't going to share my fabric or machine or whatnot, and she understood. And that's just how I am, and I think if you're up front about things like that (stay in the living room, don't touch my machine, BYOS (bring your own stuff), etc, it sets the expectations and establishes your boundaries.

It sounded like it was better when everyone did their tops by hand. And each quilted their own quilts in a hoop.

Instead of one person doing the lunch each time. Everyone should bring a dish or something. Whatever is agreed apon. That way if anyone is sick or can't make it, the rest will still have lunch.

And members could rotate meeting places. Or find one place you all can meet all the time, but not at a members home.

You've received lots of good advice. Maybe put your own words on a card for all to see.

quote " The whole idea was to have time with friends soing something we all enjoy, sharing ideas and patterns, books and new ways of doing things and having fun together."

Rotate locations , with a different host each time you get together.

What we do is meet at the fire-hall once a week. We rotate a snack and drinks. Once a year has past, we all make a donation to the fire dept. No problems.

I think that sums it up. You ended the group for a reason, and unless those reasons are addressed then nothing will change and you will just be frustrated.

Yes, I would set the rules and rotate the meeting place.