I think you made the right decision not to make the quilt, but I think the throw is still a good idea.

Giving of the quilt is one step, but the previous steps ie: selecting, rumaging, thinking, cutting, designing, etc. is the gift you give to yourself. They may not appreciate it, but maybe their kids will. How many of you have received quilts that were handed down? That person mat not like it, but they may know someone who would appreciate it and give it to them as a gift. The warm fuzzies are there.

I really felt I should answer your question since I had a past experience that taught me to think about who I am giving a quilt to. I made a quilt for my grandaughter when she graduated from high school. It took months to make with family pictures and pictures of her through the years and I was so proud of it and couldn't wait to give it to her. I was visiting some months later and saw the quilt on the floor with the dog lying on it. I was heartbroken! I don't feel it was deliberate neglect, she just did'nt understand the work that had gone into it. I love her and I know she loves me......but........no more quilts. :(
finnegan's mom

I probably would have sat down and cried!

that makes me tear up!
:cry:

You can always make a quilt and donate it to a worthy cause in that person/groups name.
One of the girls at my work ask to make a quilt, she was wiling to give me $50.00 for it. I explained the cost and hours it takes...she was flabbergasted. She had no idea.
I think my one boss had it correctly, educate them and they will understand.

Take them on an outing if possible to the local quilt shop or show and let them see first hand how much effort it takes to make one.

ok I have a confession, when I was first married we were given a quilt by my husbands's grandma and it was a regular size and we had a queen size bed so we didn't use it but when I had babies I would put in on the floor for them to lay on and we'd take it in the car in the winter for them to snuggle under. I wonder if her feelings were hurt to see it on the floor. I had no idea but I now am the very proud owner of several of her quilts and I treasure them. And I have two very old and frayed quilts on my quest room twin beds. Some things take time to appreciate and your grand daughter will too at some point and you can have a stash of very nice quilts ready for her to love.

I grew up knowing how to sew from a very young age. I made doll clothes, clothing for myself and then clothing and doll clothes for my children. My mother (a former home ec teacher) started quilting again in her 70's, I think. She made a quilt for each of her children and grandchildren. When she died, she had a wall of COTTON fabric. My brother promised it to a friend of hers that quilted. That was OK with me, as I was more interested in sewing clothes at the time with poly cotton that didn't need ironing. Now I wish I had her COTTON fabric as I finally got into quilting. Oh ya, there were a few older quilts in the house and my sister-in-law decided to take them for her girls. I have girls too, but at the time I thought that if I wanted to, I could make them some myself. So you see, sometimes it matters what stage in life one is in to appreciate quilts.
Go with your daughter to meet with the art quilter if you can. It would be a way to connect and then maybe she could come to appreciate your quilts as art too.
Sorry about being so long winded.

I'm inclined to say that if your goal for the gift is to have them appreciate your work, then don't make it for them. But is there's a project YOU want to do, and just can't keep one more quilt, then you have less emotion involved, and it is easer to let it go and not worry whether they appreciate it enough.

Gift giving is not about the person doing the giving. It’s all about the one who is on the receiving end. A gift, especially one for your DH’s sister and her husband in celebration of their wedding anniversary, should be chosen based on what you think would bring them joy, suit their taste and lifestyle, and make them think of you with love and gratitude. If that is not a quilt, then why even consider it as a gift choice? To call her unappreciative because her taste is different than yours is not really fair. If you liked dark chocolate and she liked white chocolate, which would you give her?

You are wise and it is good we all remember that. It's just because we love someone we want to do for them and forget their interests.

I think I would have packed up the quilt, taken it home and put it away until a day that the two of us had time just to be together and had a chat with her. Or would have waited to see if anything was ever said about 'the missing quilt'. Maybe the possibility of them giving it back to her when she 'grew up' would have made more of an impression on her. Kids today have a sense of 'entitlement', but not appreciation.

Chris

The subject of giving quilts has come up in this forum many times over the last several years. Many good points have been made on this subject in this post. Consider how many gifts people receive in their lives. Like wedding gifts. Haven't we all received gifts we really had no use for, didn't like, didn't want to maintain, didn't match our chosen decor? When a quilt is given it is far likelier to end up being used by every member of the family, including the dog. They wrap up on the sofa, eating greasy popcorn while watching the game or a movie, spilling soda (or worse, grape koolaid) on it, wiping up a spill, being drug around by the 3 year old, and almost any other use imaginable or unimaginable. The impulse to give a quilt comes from a place very deep in our hearts, it's giving of something we cannot get back, our time, our creativity. We must realize that others don't have a real understanding of what the true cost of a quilt is. Giving a gift to someone , even a gift as precious as a quilt, does not entitle us to expect that a year from now it will remain as pristine as when we give it. I'm repairing a quilt right now, made by my niece-in-law's great grandmother. It's a sweet Grandmother's flower garden quilt, made back in the 40's by hand, not one machine stitch. It was damaged by my philistine nephew who was smoking while using the quilt. Neither he nor she really understand the value of the quilt, especially the value of "family" which it represents. However, it's been around all her life and she wants a "patch" put on it, not requesting me to try to match the fabrics or make it really look good. I'm trying to make the patch as undetectable as possible. I'm doing it 'cause I appreciate the quilt. One day maybe they'll understand.

Well I take it personally, how can you not, It's an expression of yourself. We put our hearts into something we want validation. Now some of you sell stuff, that would give you a different perspective from us that don't,, i'm just sayin.............

the ones who have not, "discovered", them yet, and don't know what true happiness really is, that's who :mrgreen:
we should be patient, and hope that someday their world will become enlightened and then the sun will burst through the dark clouds, and when we see them again, they will talk, 'quilt' so much,...we will -
wish they would shut up! :lol: :lol: :lol: hee hee hee
j/j...everyone should have something in their lives, that makes them as happy, as quilting does, us! if it's not a quilt...then by all means...go yon, before the setting of the sun, and find your 'quilt'. :mrgreen:

well let me add my 2 cents worth on this subject. this was the last thing i made as a gift to my neighbor lady, after i was in her house one day and she had torn it apart and used the piece that had embroidery on it as a doily. i could not believe it, why didn't she just bring it back to me and say "i don't like this, could you make me a doily like that one piece". I would have done it and given the basket to somebody else who would have appreciated it. she doesn't make anything. couple years have passed now without me making her anything, can't help it, i just got ticked off and will NEVER get over it. so NO NO don't make her a quilt, she might tear it up and make pot holders out of it. i've made that same neighbor several other things in the past - but NEVER again.

At least she liked part of it well enough to use it. Maybe it was hard for her to store?

Maybe she was embarrassed to ask you to make "just" a doily part for her?

How did she treat other items you have given her?

This is just beautiful! There is just no words for what your neighbor did to this gift. But, having said that, when you give something away, you need to let it go. (However, I would not ever give her another gift. grrrr)

well, i was so ticked i just couldn't let it go. it takes one whole day to make one of these baskets. there is 3 circles of fabric that i had to do that scalloped edge around, then put fray check on it, then cut it out, then embroidery 6 places on one piece, then sew them all together and sew on 3 snaps to make it hold its shape. i made her a quilt one time and she gave it to her husband to put in his van, he's a mechanic and sometimes takes a nap in his van at his shop, greasy clothes and all. he saw me out in front yard one day and thanked me for making him that quilt that he enjoyed it. i thought well at least somebody is enjoying it. and another time i bought a denim shirt and embroidered Christmas things all over it and gave it to her for Christmas. I never saw her wear it, couple years later, i happened to go over to her house on a cold day and she had that shirt on and was cleaning house. she even said oh i just love to wear this shirt when cleaning house, it keeps my arms warm. i said well, whatever!another time i had made her a kleenex box cover embroidered and she had it in a garage sale for a quarter. she had even seen mine and made a remark about how well she liked it - that's why i made her one.
excuse me for griping so much but i feel better now, lol. but her taking that cloth basket apart was just the straw that broke the camel's back. here's pic of my daughter's Christmas shirt.

Yikes! yep, this ticks me too! Very strange person. At least her husband appreciated your work... Love you daughter's Christmas shirt.

thanks judith, my daughter enjoys all the stuff i make her, so i'll just keep making for her - of course i make stuff for in my house all the time. i have so many quilts i don't know what to do with them all. so i put a different one on the beds each week and a different one on the couch each week too and on my recliner to snuggle with. and i have a grown grandson 33 yrs old that wants me to make him one, so i'll try to get his done before cold weather.

I have a SIL whom I will love til I die even tho she and DHs brother are no longer together. She bought a new house so I made a quilt for her and took another quilt with meto SHOW it to her. She wanted the quilt I wanted to show her. I didn't want to give up that one because SIL has never been too interested in artsy/crafty home sewn/homemade things and the one she wanted was 10 tons of work and hours to make and had a bazillion small pieces and I just didn't think she'd take care of it or appreciate it like my spare guest bedroom would. I was WRONG! I do believe that quilt is her most valued possession and I know this to be true because people who have been to her home have come up and commented on the quilt I made my SIL. Her bedroom is NOT on the way to anything in her home so I know for these folks to see the quilt, SIL had to have taken them up the stairs and down the mile long hall to show it to them. I'm glad I gave her to quilt she wanted. She loves it and thanks me for it everytime I see her.

What a nice story!

I know I am a bit late about answering this. I have felt the same as you. Should I make a quilt for someone that I thought would not appriciate it? I had to mull this same question over and over. I believe if I give a gift, then it is just that a gift. It is up to the recipient if they take care of it. I am currently working on a quilt for my children. They asked me to make them one. I had previously made a puff quilt for my granddaughter. Full size for her bed. When I had visited last, there were a couple of squares that were torn, by the family dog that was allowed on her quilt. My granddaughter of course is only 5 and I must have had rocks in my head when I made this quilt. I brought it to their attention and asked about it and my daughter wanted to know if I could repair it. I told her I did not think so, and I also stated to her that I was weighing if I should make one for them if something like this would happen again, she assured me it wouldn't. I am going ahead with the quilt since I have the supplies, and hoping for the best.
My advice to you would be go with your heart.

Dear Rose,
Is it possible your daughter was trying to connect with you through quilting and just didn't realize you weren't interested in art quilts? Maybe trying to make up for past mistakes? I hope so. Some people don't know the differences in the types of quilting...to them quilting is quilting.

Maybe the answer is to only give your quilting artwork to people who BEG you for it! :D

For Rose: I was thinking the same thing as JoJo...maybe to her 'quilting' is one genre, and you now have an opportunity for conversation to talk about techniques, traditions and innovations. Ask her what she likes about the 'art' quilt, just to break the ice...

I'm a new quilter, old hobbiest, but now that I am spending a lot of time, money and love on these beautiful, creations to give away, I make sure my recipient knows I am making it. I involve them by asking questions about color choices, theme, size, etc. If I don't get good feedback, I would drop it and move on to a gift cert. or something I suppose. I say suppose, because I have six quilts in the making, and not one person has rejected my efforts in the slightest, thank goodness. They actually get really excited, especially when they get a an e-mailed picture of the fabrics lined up on my table, right before the cutting starts. But then not another peek until completely done, that's the surprise.

I get such a high from quilting, if I couldn't give to those I know, I would give to those in need and keep that great feeling. Keep sewing, stay happy.

So many interesting replies to such a difficult question.

I've made a quilt for someone I thought wouldn't appreciate it, but I did it anyway. I knew I'd made a really good job of it, I knew how much time and love I put into it, but I mentally prepared myself to let go once it passed hands, knowing that it wouldn't be appreciated or looked after and wouldn't last long.

For me, once it left my hands I no longer had "ownership", and if they wanted to store it in the back of the cupboard and never use it, then that was their perogative and I wouldn't let it upset me.

To my utter surprise it was recieved with tears and much joy, and it has been absolutely treasured since the day I handed it over.

I think while some people have some terribly sad stories, it says more about the gift recipient, than the gift giver. And that we should keep making quilts because it makes US happy. If people don't appreciate them, it's their loss, not ours.

:-)

Exactly! Very well said! This is something I need to remember when making a gift quilt. My first one was was not as appreciated as "I" thought it should have been. Maybe I should have considered the her desires a little more carefully before deciding to make her a quilt as a wedding present. However, the second quilt I made was for someone else for no special reason other than "just because" and he was over the moon about the quilt and loved it.