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Thread: Unappreciative people question

  1. #1
    QuilterKim's Avatar
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    When giving quilts as a gift are you hesitant to give someone one if you know they really won't appreciate it or properly take care of it? I would like to make a quilt for my sister-in-law and her husband. They will be married 2 years in May (her 2nd marriage) and I thought about making them a throw as a combined Christmas and anniversary gift. I've made her stuff before - like cross stitch, or some other crafty thing - and she's not that enthused about it. I think her husband would appreciate it more. Should I still make one for them? I wanted to make a throw since it's something they could both use - you know to just drape over a couch or something. They are currently living out of the country due to his job and might be visiting in January. But I wouldn't be surprised if she just left it here with her parents for "when they come back to the states". What are your opinions.

  2. #2
    Esqmommy's Avatar
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    Once you give a gift, you need to let it go.

    If you do not think your quilt will be loved and appreciated, then find them something they will love and appreciate.

    Mostly only other quilters really "get" the meaning of quilts. There are some other enlightened people out there, but not very many!!

    That's my two-cents for what it's worth.

  3. #3
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    I think you answered your own question. If you are worried about it, follow your heart. I would just give her a gift certificate to a place close to home.

    Also, if they live out of the country it may be difficult to take it back with them, since it is so expensive to pay for the luggage and the weight limitations are very strict.

    Maria

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esqmommy
    Once you give a gift, you need to let it go.

    If you do not think your quilt will be loved and appreciated, then find them something they will love and appreciate.

    Mostly only other quilters really "get" the meaning of quilts. There are some other enlightened people out there, but not very many!!

    That's my two-cents for what it's worth.
    I agree.

  5. #5
    Super Member Deb watkins's Avatar
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    I had a family member who was of similar nature. I decided to make a wall hanging instead, doing a 'family tree'. The bunches of leaves were each person, clustered together to make more 'leaves'. Embroidery machine made that very easy. At the bottom of the piece, I made a 'frame', in which they could put the current 4x6 family photo. It was hung on the wall where everyone coming in to the house saw it first!

  6. #6
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    i wouldn't make them a quilt - it seems like they would prefer a gift more to their tastes and likes.

  7. #7
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    Personally, I wouldn't bother, but that's me. A lot of time, effort and money goes into a quilt, and to have someone not even appreciate it, would really tick me off. That's my 2 cents worth.

  8. #8
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    I wouldn't make a quilt for someone unless I was pretty sure they would appreciate it and enjoy it. Not everyone "understands" quilts.

  9. #9
    QuilterKim's Avatar
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    Thanks for your thoughts. I've decided against the quilt and will think of something else.

  10. #10
    Super Member quilter1962's Avatar
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    Kim

    Well to be frank & really honest with you if I were a little hesitant as to whether the recipient of the quilt would appreciate & look after it let alone love it - then I have to say no I don't think I would make a quilt for them.
    I would choose something else that would be more fitting to their taste.

    It's a good job we're all different I suppose.

    Hope you find something which they will appreciate.

    Tisha

  11. #11
    Super Member Rose Marie's Avatar
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    No one in my family appreiciates quilts so I dont give them out anymore.
    Only two kinda like quilts but they do not take care of them.
    I made a jewel box quilt for my oldest dauther. She left it in her dauthers car and it ended up at her house permently. Since then my oldest has told me about a woman she met who is famous for art quilts and wants me to meet her. She is impressed by her work. I am not an art quilter and will never be that good. It has hurt my feelings and I havnt been interested in quilting since.

  12. #12
    Super Member Joan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose Marie
    No one in my family appreiciates quilts so I dont give them out anymore.
    Only two kinda like quilts but they do not take care of them.
    I made a jewel box quilt for my oldest dauther. She left it in her dauthers car and it ended up at her house permently. Since then my oldest has told me about a woman she met who is famous for art quilts and wants me to meet her. She is impressed by her work. I am not an art quilter and will never be that good. It has hurt my feelings and I havnt been interested in quilting since.
    Rose Marie---There ae just so many organizations who would love and treasure your quilts. (Project Linus for one) Don't give up! And, by the way, you can make some for your own home. No one but a quilter truly appreciates the time and effort that goes into making a quilt. Please don't give up!

    I for one wouldn't give a quilt to anyone who I knew wouldn't appreciate it. Buy them a box of candy......lol

  13. #13
    Super Member quilter1962's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose Marie
    No one in my family appreiciates quilts so I dont give them out anymore.
    Only two kinda like quilts but they do not take care of them.
    I made a jewel box quilt for my oldest dauther. She left it in her dauthers car and it ended up at her house permently. Since then my oldest has told me about a woman she met who is famous for art quilts and wants me to meet her. She is impressed by her work. I am not an art quilter and will never be that good. It has hurt my feelings and I havnt been interested in quilting since.
    Oh no Rose

    Don't give up on sewing & quilting & everything else that goes with it. There is going to be someone who will appreciate all your hard work & love that goes in to making these magnificent works of art.
    What about making quilts for your local hospital. Our group here in the UK make for our local hospital for the neo-natal department & also for stillborn babies.
    The feed back we have received has been so inspiring - some of the parents take the quilts home this we have been told helps with the healing process when they have lost their baby, others are wrapped in the quilts.
    As Joan mentioned Project Linus are always needing assistance too.

    Don't let it eat you up inside with comments made by others - you know your worth more - so go on pop off into your sewing room & run up a quilt for us all to see. :wink:

    Tisha x :P

  14. #14
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
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    Rose Marie I PM'ed you so we don't hijack this thread.

  15. #15
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    i don't think quilters should take this so personal. its not a personal thing its just a matter of taste.

    some people like quilts and others don't - it has no reflecting on how they feel about you.

    just like some quilters like contemporary art quilts and others like traditional quilts - its nothing personal its just a preference and not meant to be taken to heart.


  16. #16
    Esqmommy's Avatar
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    Rose - -Please make ME a quilt!!!!!!! I promise to love, honor and cherish her....seriously, you could also join in our swaps...that might inspire your creativity and find lots of happy loving homes for your projects. Do you you think that might be fun for you? Also, if you get involved in a guild, you might find more outlets for your creativity. A "burned" quilter...no no no, we must have you back in the land of fun and piecing...:)

  17. #17
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    I think you are right to decide not to go with the quilt. If you are pretty sure she will not appreciate it, give them something they will like. It hurts to see something we have put so much into not loved as we would like. Some people just do not appreciate quilts.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kluedesigns
    some people like quilts and others don't.
    What kind of crazy people don't like quilts? Are they totally bonkers? :lol: :lol: :lol:

  19. #19
    Super Member Rose Marie's Avatar
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    Thanks for all your encouragement. Im just in a slump over it and I will continue to quilt.
    I do belong to a small group who make quilts for wounded soldiers and we are very much appriciated for it. We took a break for the summer and I sure miss our get togathers.

  20. #20
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    If it were me I wouldn't make it. My friend requested I make her grandson a quilt when he was born. The colors matched the room, colors I hated and hated working on. When it was fisished I sent it off to NY I live in Ohio. I never got a call or thank you so I finally called to see if it arrived. It had they loved it but if I didn't make the call it would have never been acknowledged. It was used as a wall hanging until he was 2, they didn't believe in putting a quilt/blanket on the baby for fear of him getting wrapped in it. Now a secod grandson was born I started a quilt and never finished it. I thought if they couldn't call or write to say thank you I would not give it as a gift. I put love into what I do and if people acknowldge what I do I would rather buy them something and use my time spent on making something for someone else or for me.

  21. #21
    Super Member joeyoz's Avatar
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    Some people are just not into crafty things, but who could ever say no to a quilt?

    Joey

  22. #22
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Nope, I do not hesitate at all: People who do not appreciate quilts don't get one. My list of people who would appreciate a quilt is too long as is, I do not have time or energy to waste on the others. I also believe that they do not bemoan the fact that they are off the list.

  23. #23
    Super Member Lisanne's Avatar
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    I wouldn't go to the time and effort of making a quilt (or other craft) for someone who wouldn't appreciate it. That isn't a failing on their part, just a difference in tastes.

    When I give a gift, I try to choose something that the recipient will be thrilled to have. The point of giving is to make them happy.

    When I get a gift that someone made or chose without regard to my tastes, it creates a bad feeling for me. I'm not talking about someone trying and going wrong. I mean when someone knows I don't really like something and insists on giving it to me anyway. If it's the thought that counts, that sends the message that they were only giving me something out of a sense of duty, and that they didn't bother to remember that I hate the kind of thing they gave (scented anything being a prime example for me).

  24. #24
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
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    I wouldn't make them a quilt. I don't think she would appreciate all the time, money and LOVE it takes to make one....

  25. #25
    Senior Member Elsie's Avatar
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    i gave quilts to people that i don't know that will take care of them but i gave it to them for the love for them i don't gave a gift and expect them to love it or what they do with it it a gift of love that counts with me i show them i love them to work hard to make something for them.

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