When giving quilts as a gift are you hesitant to give someone one if you know they really won't appreciate it or properly take care of it? I would like to make a quilt for my sister-in-law and her husband. They will be married 2 years in May (her 2nd marriage) and I thought about making them a throw as a combined Christmas and anniversary gift. I've made her stuff before - like cross stitch, or some other crafty thing - and she's not that enthused about it. I think her husband would appreciate it more. Should I still make one for them? I wanted to make a throw since it's something they could both use - you know to just drape over a couch or something. They are currently living out of the country due to his job and might be visiting in January. But I wouldn't be surprised if she just left it here with her parents for "when they come back to the states". What are your opinions.

Once you give a gift, you need to let it go.

If you do not think your quilt will be loved and appreciated, then find them something they will love and appreciate.

Mostly only other quilters really "get" the meaning of quilts. There are some other enlightened people out there, but not very many!!

That's my two-cents for what it's worth.

I think you answered your own question. If you are worried about it, follow your heart. I would just give her a gift certificate to a place close to home.

Also, if they live out of the country it may be difficult to take it back with them, since it is so expensive to pay for the luggage and the weight limitations are very strict.

Maria

I agree.

I had a family member who was of similar nature. I decided to make a wall hanging instead, doing a 'family tree'. The bunches of leaves were each person, clustered together to make more 'leaves'. Embroidery machine made that very easy. At the bottom of the piece, I made a 'frame', in which they could put the current 4x6 family photo. It was hung on the wall where everyone coming in to the house saw it first!

i wouldn't make them a quilt - it seems like they would prefer a gift more to their tastes and likes.

Personally, I wouldn't bother, but that's me. A lot of time, effort and money goes into a quilt, and to have someone not even appreciate it, would really tick me off. That's my 2 cents worth.

I wouldn't make a quilt for someone unless I was pretty sure they would appreciate it and enjoy it. Not everyone "understands" quilts.

Thanks for your thoughts. I've decided against the quilt and will think of something else.

Kim

Well to be frank & really honest with you if I were a little hesitant as to whether the recipient of the quilt would appreciate & look after it let alone love it - then I have to say no I don't think I would make a quilt for them.
I would choose something else that would be more fitting to their taste.

It's a good job we're all different I suppose.

Hope you find something which they will appreciate.

Tisha

No one in my family appreiciates quilts so I dont give them out anymore.
Only two kinda like quilts but they do not take care of them.
I made a jewel box quilt for my oldest dauther. She left it in her dauthers car and it ended up at her house permently. Since then my oldest has told me about a woman she met who is famous for art quilts and wants me to meet her. She is impressed by her work. I am not an art quilter and will never be that good. It has hurt my feelings and I havnt been interested in quilting since.

Rose Marie---There ae just so many organizations who would love and treasure your quilts. (Project Linus for one) Don't give up! And, by the way, you can make some for your own home. No one but a quilter truly appreciates the time and effort that goes into making a quilt. Please don't give up!

I for one wouldn't give a quilt to anyone who I knew wouldn't appreciate it. Buy them a box of candy......lol

Oh no Rose

Don't give up on sewing & quilting & everything else that goes with it. There is going to be someone who will appreciate all your hard work & love that goes in to making these magnificent works of art.
What about making quilts for your local hospital. Our group here in the UK make for our local hospital for the neo-natal department & also for stillborn babies.
The feed back we have received has been so inspiring - some of the parents take the quilts home this we have been told helps with the healing process when they have lost their baby, others are wrapped in the quilts.
As Joan mentioned Project Linus are always needing assistance too.

Don't let it eat you up inside with comments made by others - you know your worth more - so go on pop off into your sewing room & run up a quilt for us all to see. :wink:

Tisha x :P

Rose Marie I PM'ed you so we don't hijack this thread.

i don't think quilters should take this so personal. its not a personal thing its just a matter of taste.

some people like quilts and others don't - it has no reflecting on how they feel about you.

just like some quilters like contemporary art quilts and others like traditional quilts - its nothing personal its just a preference and not meant to be taken to heart.

Rose - -Please make ME a quilt!!!!!!! I promise to love, honor and cherish her....seriously, you could also join in our swaps...that might inspire your creativity and find lots of happy loving homes for your projects. Do you you think that might be fun for you? Also, if you get involved in a guild, you might find more outlets for your creativity. A "burned" quilter...no no no, we must have you back in the land of fun and piecing...:)

I think you are right to decide not to go with the quilt. If you are pretty sure she will not appreciate it, give them something they will like. It hurts to see something we have put so much into not loved as we would like. Some people just do not appreciate quilts.

What kind of crazy people don't like quilts? Are they totally bonkers? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks for all your encouragement. Im just in a slump over it and I will continue to quilt.
I do belong to a small group who make quilts for wounded soldiers and we are very much appriciated for it. We took a break for the summer and I sure miss our get togathers.

If it were me I wouldn't make it. My friend requested I make her grandson a quilt when he was born. The colors matched the room, colors I hated and hated working on. When it was fisished I sent it off to NY I live in Ohio. I never got a call or thank you so I finally called to see if it arrived. It had they loved it but if I didn't make the call it would have never been acknowledged. It was used as a wall hanging until he was 2, they didn't believe in putting a quilt/blanket on the baby for fear of him getting wrapped in it. Now a secod grandson was born I started a quilt and never finished it. I thought if they couldn't call or write to say thank you I would not give it as a gift. I put love into what I do and if people acknowldge what I do I would rather buy them something and use my time spent on making something for someone else or for me.

Some people are just not into crafty things, but who could ever say no to a quilt?

Joey

Nope, I do not hesitate at all: People who do not appreciate quilts don't get one. My list of people who would appreciate a quilt is too long as is, I do not have time or energy to waste on the others. I also believe that they do not bemoan the fact that they are off the list.

I wouldn't go to the time and effort of making a quilt (or other craft) for someone who wouldn't appreciate it. That isn't a failing on their part, just a difference in tastes.

When I give a gift, I try to choose something that the recipient will be thrilled to have. The point of giving is to make them happy.

When I get a gift that someone made or chose without regard to my tastes, it creates a bad feeling for me. I'm not talking about someone trying and going wrong. I mean when someone knows I don't really like something and insists on giving it to me anyway. If it's the thought that counts, that sends the message that they were only giving me something out of a sense of duty, and that they didn't bother to remember that I hate the kind of thing they gave (scented anything being a prime example for me).

I wouldn't make them a quilt. I don't think she would appreciate all the time, money and LOVE it takes to make one....

i gave quilts to people that i don't know that will take care of them but i gave it to them for the love for them i don't gave a gift and expect them to love it or what they do with it it a gift of love that counts with me i show them i love them to work hard to make something for them.

I only give my quilts to people who will "love them" :!:

I do not think I would go to the trouble and expense to make a quilt for anyone that could not apprecialte it. Life is just too short.

Please don't give up on quilting. It's not the quilt's fault !! It's the people who do appreciate the time and effort that goes into making a quilt. Do it for YOU ... no one else. Then, donate the quilts to nursing homes, or to Walter Reed Hospital for the veterans. That's worthwhile and extremely rewarding.

Oops !! Meant to say it's the fault of the people who do NOT appreciate your handiwork. Keep quilting for YOU.

Why did you think about making a quilt for them to begin with? If it was something your heart told you to do then do it NO MATTER what you think they will or will not feel or treat the quilt.
You never know what will trigger something in another person...it might take months or years but you need to act on that small voice.

I taught my SIL how to knit I only knew the basics but I spent maybe 2 hours and then a couple mins another day showing her how to get started. She has become a GREAT knitter but it also was the one thing that truely binded her and I together. I never knew about that for years later and a messy Divorce but as I said she is my SIL and will always be.

For me personally, I make quilts because I love the fabric, or the pattern speaks to me. I have given very few away. Mostly I just gift baby quilts. When I have made a quilt for someone, they were involved with the fabric selection, style, ect. I found that when a person is involved with the choosing, they tend to be excited about the results.

If it were me, I wouldn't bother making her a quilt. I might make him one for his birthday, though. I'd just give them a store bought Christmas present. I'd hate to think you quilt could end up at Goodwill.

The thing that I find that works really well is to select the fabric with the receipent and then they really look foward to it and appreciate it. I am now sending a quilt to a girl friend. we selected the pattern and the fabric together. She cannot wait to see the finished product. We made the selections two years ago ......I have several other jobs.

It is still a surprise because the finished quilt is greater than the selected fabrics. The process created a sense of ownership that leads to appreciation and folks recognized that it is especially for them...

So maybe when your sister in law comes you can select the pattern and fabric with her.

I agree, if they won't take care of them, make quilts for someone who will care! I love quilting and have made a lot of baby quilts for a hospital, and then changed to making quilts for one of our guild projects. Please don't let anyone have that much control over you! Make what you enjoy and give them to someone who will appreciate your hard work and the love you put into your passion for quilting.
Haven't quilted for several months and sure miss it! Finally gave in and had surgery on my right wrist yesterday. Two more weeks and I will start quilting again, just in time for Christmas for the babies!

PS....I also include washing and care instruction with the quilt. Most people just don't know what kind of care is required.

Being new to quilting, I have struggled with this. My husband will inquire, "Why are you making that for XYZ? They won't appreciate it." And, deep down, maybe they won't, but that's not why I made it. I made it as a gift, and after its left my house, I have to let it go. I do wonder if the quilt is wearing well, etc., but I'd hate to ask and seem like I want more accolades.

I made a baby quilt for my best friends step-daughter. My friend saw it t and thought it was perfect. She took it to her and later told me how much she liked it. I never heard a word but do not take it personally. Some folks are just like that. Life is too short to waste time worrying about it. Just get on with the quilting.....and the fabric is calling!

It is much more fun to do things for and give things to appreciative people.

That said, there are people in this world who may fall in one of these other categories:

1) They appreciated/liked whatever but didn't have enough sense to acknowledge/thank the giver

2) They did not like/appreciate whatever but didn't want to hurt the giver's feelings

3) They did not like/appreciate whatever and didn't care if they hurt the giver's feelings.

To me, a true gift for me is something I want - not something someone else thinks I should want. For example, a coffeemaker, when I don't drink coffee, is not an exciting gift. Nor do I think a gift certificate to my LQS to someone that HATES all sewing and craft projects would be particularly welcomed, even though it's something I would really be happy to receive.

As others have said, think of what the RECIPIENT would want when giving a gift - and also what you are willing to give -

Kim,
I wouldn't waste all that time and effort into making a quilt for them if they both wouldn't treasure or appreciate it. You could make one, if your heart leads you in that direction, and then donate it for a raffle letting them know that is what you had done. Another good cause would be to make one for a church. It could be used for what I call a 'sermon quilt'. The pastor would have it put on the floor for the little ones to sit on while he is giving the children's sermon. It makes the kids stay in one place instead of swinging from the communion rail or running behind the pulpit.
Just some ideas.
Chris from AZ

She may not have meant anything at all by saying that, just that you might enjoy meeting another quilter. To her, maybe a quilt is a quilt and not really see much difference in them.