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JCL in FL 09-04-2009 07:44 AM


Originally Posted by ghostrider
Gift giving is not about the person doing the giving. It’s all about the one who is on the receiving end. A gift, especially one for your DH’s sister and her husband in celebration of their wedding anniversary, should be chosen based on what you think would bring them joy, suit their taste and lifestyle, and make them think of you with love and gratitude. If that is not a quilt, then why even consider it as a gift choice? To call her unappreciative because her taste is different than yours is not really fair. If you liked dark chocolate and she liked white chocolate, which would you give her?

You are wise and it is good we all remember that. It's just because we love someone we want to do for them and forget their interests.

busiacam 09-04-2009 08:46 AM

I think I would have packed up the quilt, taken it home and put it away until a day that the two of us had time just to be together and had a chat with her. Or would have waited to see if anything was ever said about 'the missing quilt'. Maybe the possibility of them giving it back to her when she 'grew up' would have made more of an impression on her. Kids today have a sense of 'entitlement', but not appreciation.

Chris

treasurelady 09-04-2009 11:40 AM

The subject of giving quilts has come up in this forum many times over the last several years. Many good points have been made on this subject in this post. Consider how many gifts people receive in their lives. Like wedding gifts. Haven't we all received gifts we really had no use for, didn't like, didn't want to maintain, didn't match our chosen decor? When a quilt is given it is far likelier to end up being used by every member of the family, including the dog. They wrap up on the sofa, eating greasy popcorn while watching the game or a movie, spilling soda (or worse, grape koolaid) on it, wiping up a spill, being drug around by the 3 year old, and almost any other use imaginable or unimaginable. The impulse to give a quilt comes from a place very deep in our hearts, it's giving of something we cannot get back, our time, our creativity. We must realize that others don't have a real understanding of what the true cost of a quilt is. Giving a gift to someone , even a gift as precious as a quilt, does not entitle us to expect that a year from now it will remain as pristine as when we give it. I'm repairing a quilt right now, made by my niece-in-law's great grandmother. It's a sweet Grandmother's flower garden quilt, made back in the 40's by hand, not one machine stitch. It was damaged by my philistine nephew who was smoking while using the quilt. Neither he nor she really understand the value of the quilt, especially the value of "family" which it represents. However, it's been around all her life and she wants a "patch" put on it, not requesting me to try to match the fabrics or make it really look good. I'm trying to make the patch as undetectable as possible. I'm doing it 'cause I appreciate the quilt. One day maybe they'll understand.

wichypoo 09-04-2009 12:01 PM

Well I take it personally, how can you not, It's an expression of yourself. We put our hearts into something we want validation. Now some of you sell stuff, that would give you a different perspective from us that don't,, i'm just sayin.............

Mousie 09-04-2009 06:53 PM


Originally Posted by mytwopals

Originally Posted by kluedesigns
some people like quilts and others don't.

What kind of crazy people don't like quilts? Are they totally bonkers? :lol: :lol: :lol:

the ones who have not, "discovered", them yet, and don't know what true happiness really is, that's who :mrgreen:
we should be patient, and hope that someday their world will become enlightened and then the sun will burst through the dark clouds, and when we see them again, they will talk, 'quilt' so much,...we will -
wish they would shut up! :lol: :lol: :lol: hee hee hee
j/j...everyone should have something in their lives, that makes them as happy, as quilting does, us! if it's not a quilt...then by all means...go yon, before the setting of the sun, and find your 'quilt'. :mrgreen:

dojo36 09-05-2009 09:16 AM

2 Attachment(s)
well let me add my 2 cents worth on this subject. this was the last thing i made as a gift to my neighbor lady, after i was in her house one day and she had torn it apart and used the piece that had embroidery on it as a doily. i could not believe it, why didn't she just bring it back to me and say "i don't like this, could you make me a doily like that one piece". I would have done it and given the basket to somebody else who would have appreciated it. she doesn't make anything. couple years have passed now without me making her anything, can't help it, i just got ticked off and will NEVER get over it. so NO NO don't make her a quilt, she might tear it up and make pot holders out of it. i've made that same neighbor several other things in the past - but NEVER again.

cloth basket
[ATTACH=CONFIG]47509[/ATTACH]

cloth basket
[ATTACH=CONFIG]47561[/ATTACH]

bearisgray 09-05-2009 09:33 AM


Originally Posted by dojo36
well let me add my 2 cents worth on this subject. this was the last thing i made as a gift to my neighbor lady, after i was in her house one day and she had torn it apart and used the piece that had embroidery on it as a doily. i could not believe it, why didn't she just bring it back to me and say "i don't like this, could you make me a doily like that one piece". I would have done it and given the basket to somebody else who would have appreciated it. she doesn't make anything. couple years have passed now without me making her anything, can't help it, i just got ticked off and will NEVER get over it. so NO NO don't make her a quilt, she might tear it up and make pot holders out of it. i've made that same neighbor several other things in the past - but NEVER again.

At least she liked part of it well enough to use it. Maybe it was hard for her to store?

Maybe she was embarrassed to ask you to make "just" a doily part for her?

How did she treat other items you have given her?

judithb 09-05-2009 09:44 AM

This is just beautiful! There is just no words for what your neighbor did to this gift. But, having said that, when you give something away, you need to let it go. (However, I would not ever give her another gift. grrrr)

dojo36 09-05-2009 10:29 AM

1 Attachment(s)
well, i was so ticked i just couldn't let it go. it takes one whole day to make one of these baskets. there is 3 circles of fabric that i had to do that scalloped edge around, then put fray check on it, then cut it out, then embroidery 6 places on one piece, then sew them all together and sew on 3 snaps to make it hold its shape. i made her a quilt one time and she gave it to her husband to put in his van, he's a mechanic and sometimes takes a nap in his van at his shop, greasy clothes and all. he saw me out in front yard one day and thanked me for making him that quilt that he enjoyed it. i thought well at least somebody is enjoying it. and another time i bought a denim shirt and embroidered Christmas things all over it and gave it to her for Christmas. I never saw her wear it, couple years later, i happened to go over to her house on a cold day and she had that shirt on and was cleaning house. she even said oh i just love to wear this shirt when cleaning house, it keeps my arms warm. i said well, whatever!another time i had made her a kleenex box cover embroidered and she had it in a garage sale for a quarter. she had even seen mine and made a remark about how well she liked it - that's why i made her one.
excuse me for griping so much but i feel better now, lol. but her taking that cloth basket apart was just the straw that broke the camel's back. here's pic of my daughter's Christmas shirt.

Christmas shirt
[ATTACH=CONFIG]47511[/ATTACH]

judithb 09-05-2009 10:38 AM

Yikes! yep, this ticks me too! Very strange person. At least her husband appreciated your work... Love you daughter's Christmas shirt.


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