It would make me feel bad to hurt someone after she put all that work into her quilt. Just say it must have been a lot of work and is colorful!!!

I hope I could always find something positive to say. Even if it isn't in your tastes you could always ask why they chose that pattern or fabric or ask some question about the quilt background. That alone could give you some insight and apprciation for that quilt that you are looking at. Might even change your opinion.

I always try to say something nice about anyones projects, since mine may not be to their liking either.

However, I do have a problem with someone trying to pass off someone else's work as their own. I have seen this done at a quilt show and know for a fact that this person did NOT make the one quilt that they were saying that they did!! The quilt that they DID make, not all the fabric was caught in every seam. :( I really felt bad for her, until I saw her and she said "how do you like this quilt that I made?" I could tell that her ex-mother in law had made it. I saw the ex-mother in law making it. How sad for this person that she would try to do this. :( I DID however have nice things to say to her. In private, I told my DH what she had done but would never say anything bad to anyone about their work.

Mom always said if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

If someone shows me a project is mainly someone I know and is expecting my comments. I always say something encouraging. I taught a few of my ex coworkers to sew and when we did show and tell it was all ohhs and ahhs, but when we were at the sewing room I always found a way to teach them. The lady that taught me never criticized my work and the next time we were together she made sure I learned to correct what I did wrong. If I am at a craft show and see bad craftmanship I just keep going. If they are selling it they are proud of what they did and as long as someone is willing to pay for it, who am I to differ?

I'm a teacher and there are times when I have to tell a parent something about a child that is definitely bad news. I always first say something good about the child (yes, always) then give the bad news. Finally, I try to soften the blow by saying something positive about the situation: "He learned a hard lesson but he'll always remember that ______ has it's consequences. You'll never have to deal with this again." If the child is there, I make sure to give him the opportunity to agree.

There are ways to tell people the truth without scaring them for life. Generally people already know the truth but want some kind of affirmation for their efforts. Just saying that can be a kindness: "I can see you worked hard on this, and there are things that I really appreciate about it. If you keep practicing you'll soon be an old pro teaching me some techniques. In the meantime, give me a call if you want some advice or constructive criticism." Gets me off the hook and gives the other person options about the criticism.

And if I hate it/it's not my taste: "I wouldn't think to ________. This gives me something to think about for my own work. Thanks for giving me another perspective."

I try to avoid saying anything negative even if I personally don't like the item for whatever reason. I really don't want to destroy someone's joy in their creation. I agree with several on this thread that it is easier to steer the conversation elsewhere. If forced, I will tell them that it isn't my opinion that counts but theirs. If they are happy, then the project is successful.

Yes!!! :thumbup: :thumbup:

"Not all quilts are up to Padukah standards but they are all special. "

Amen! Encouragement goes farther than criticism. Each quilt is special and loved by someone.

I was always told that if you cannot say something nice then don't say anything at all. It doesn't hurt to smile and say "that's nice".